"Happy anniversary, babe."

"Happy anniversary."

With a smile, Amy brings her glass of champagne to her lips and takes a sip after clinking it with Jake's. She takes this moment of drinking in silence to look around them. She has to admit, if it weren't for the perp currently lying unconscious on the tiny bed in front of her, the place would actually look very romantic – despite being a hospital room.

Jake truly set it up nicely, with fairy lights framing the door and Paris decor behind them as well as red roses he bought for her. There's also French cheese and baguettes on the table she can't wait to try. It's not a real trip to the City of Love nor the dreamy night they had in mind to celebrate one year of married life but it's still better than nothing and another surprise Jake pulled out for her.

At least they've not been sent in two different neighborhoods to work on their own cases. They're together and truly, it's all that matters.

As long as we're with the right people, we can handle anything – she made these vows exactly 365 days ago and still stands by them.

"I can't believe it's already been a year Holt married us in front of the precinct." Jake's sigh takes Amy out of her reverie and she brings her gaze back on him, chuckling lightly.

"Me neither," she agrees, a fond smile spreading on her face as memories of the day come back to her. It soon turns into a true grin. "You know what this means, though…" she trails off knowingly but Jake doesn't seem to take the hint. He simply frowns in return, seeming clueless. "It's been a year. We said we'd start trying for a baby after a year…"

Amy can barely contain her excitement any longer. She can't wait for this new crazy adventure with her husband to finally begin – she can't wait for the planning and binders she'll have to make and books she'll have to read and obviously all the sex they're gonna have to try and get pregnant.

(Not that they need an excuse for that last part.)

Her grin quickly falters though when she looks at her husband and he doesn't seem as thrilled as she is – as thrilled as he should be. It's quite the opposite, even. He's averting his gaze, one of his hands coming to scratch the back of his neck in what she's come to learn with time is a nervous tic. He clears his throat then lets the words out.

"I know we said that but… D'you think it's really a good idea?"

This time, Amy's the one who frowns.

"What?!" She's confused. This is definitely not the turn she imagined the conversation would take when she brought up the (supposedly happy) topic of their near future and growing family. "But I thought you couldn't wait for us to have kids? You kept talking about having a mini-me and you running around the house and how cute that would be."

She clearly (and very fondly) remembers his huge goofy beam every time they would bring up the topic of having children together several times in the past. It doesn't help her understand his sudden change of heart.

"I know, and I still do want kids, but…" Jake takes a short pause. He leans over to take her hands in both of his, rubbing small circles with his thumbs on their back as he stares deep inside her eyes.

Amy senses she's not gonna like what he's gonna say next.

"Look at us. We were supposed to have a quiet night off celebrating our anniversary but here we are, cancelling our plans because we had a job to do. And it's not the first time this is happening. This is our life. We can be called on duty anytime – both of us. And what about our baby then – who's gonna look after it?"

"We still figured out something," Amy answers, a little defensive. She points to their surroundings, part of the surprise he came up with for her, to prove her point. "We always do. I'm not saying it's gonna be easy and won't require a few adjustments, but we'll find a way to make it work."

Jake lets out a small sigh. He doesn't seem fully convinced.

"Okay, maybe we will. But it's not just that. Look at him." He points towards the still deeply asleep perp they're supposed to be guarding. "He's the one in a coma this time, but it could so easily be one of us in his place – or even worse. Being a cop is dangerous. We're risking our lives every day. What if one day only one of us gets to go home to our child?"

He squeezes her hand harder in his and she can see the sadness and defeat inside his dark eyes. She can see how much it costs him to say that – how this once selfish detective is now considering putting his own wants and needs behind for the sake of somebody else's. Somebody who's not even real yet and might never be, given the turn this conversation is taking.

Because Amy has to agree these are important points he's raising and things they need to take into account for sure. It's not something they've thought about discussing in their previous discussions about kids. Probably because the simple thought of losing Jake makes Amy want to throw up and she'd rather not let this image wander through her head if she can prevent it.

She already has enough examples of what a life without him would be like, and she knows it's not something she wants to experience ever again.

"Jake…"

"I know, I don't want to think about it either." It seems like he can read her mind. "But we have to. Because it could happen. And if we have a kid, we're not the only ones who will get affected. I know what it's like to grow up with a crappy parent who's never there, and it's not fun. I can't begin to imagine the pain of growing up with a parent who's not there because they got shot and died. At least I could always hope mine was gonna get better at being there for me."

Amy's heart clenches a little harder in her chest.

"So what are you saying? That you changed your mind and never want to have kids? Because this situation is not gonna change." She stares deep into his eyes, trying to see past through him as she dreadfully waits for an answer. She can't imagine a life without children – without Jake and her children. And she truly believes they can find a way to make it work and raise a child in a safe and happy home if they gave themselves the means to.

Terry and Charles managed to do it after all, so why not them?

Sure, Terry's and Charles's wives aren't cops like both she and her husband are. But still. She knows several other couples of cops with a family of their own despite their risky jobs – and nothing bad ever happened to them. There's no reason then they couldn't do it as well.

"As I said, I do want them. More than anything else. I just don't know if we should have them…"

Another pang of pain in her chest.

"Okay." Amy suddenly stands up with a sigh after a few seconds of thinking. A million thoughts are running through her mind at the second. She paces around the room before she stops still in front of Jake, who's watching her curiously. She has an idea in mind. "Should we have kids. That's the issue, right? Now let's debate. See the pros and cons and go from there." It's the only way she knows how to deal with this.

(It takes a bit of time, some reassuring testimonies from their two dad friends and a lot of long reflection about what would be best for a possible future child but in the end, they manage to come to an agreement: they are ready indeed and will overcome any possible obstacle life might throw at them in the future. Together. As a family. They can – and will – do it.)

(And, as part of the final celebration of their first anniversary, they start trying as soon as they reach their bed back home.)