The morning at Jo's house was eerily quiet. I think his mom got home only just a couple of hours ago. It takes a while for my eyes to adjust to the light from the window. When I'm finally able to, I looked at my phone, it was turning to 7:00. I roll over the bed, searching the floor for my clothes.
"That's pretty gross," a voice says, I turn to look for it and find Jo almost naked on the bed. The covers over his torso and below.
"Well, it's all I have," I respond while pulling my skirt up. The bed creaks as he turns over.
"I'll let you borrow something from my mom," he leads me to an adjacent room in the hall. He opens the door carefully, Lizzy, his mom, is probably asleep. He goes in by himself, I stay at the door. He takes some stuff out and comes back with a white blouse and washed jeans. She's a little smaller than me, but the clothes can fit snuggly. After I've changed we head out to the two whales.
"Hard to believe a Blackwell Scholar student can still afford to buy from Two Whales," he mocks, I scoff at his remark but still giggle at his point. We both grow silent at the sight of the old musty R.V.
"Harder to believe a drug dealer is so okay to show his ugly mug in a public place," I remark in a disappointed tone. He can only nod as we come to a stop. The late summer air is still chill, raising the hair on my skin. Inside we take a booth furthest from Frank.
"Don't think he'll be too happy if he finds out someone's taking away his business," Jo warned before taking his menu. I sighed out of exhaustion. Frank would try, but he'd fail miserably.
"Just as long as you don't say anything about it," I warned, he scoffs. He never could take Frank seriously.
"Oh please, you didn't even give me the name of the go-between," he sounds incredibly upset. I already know it sucks to be kept from a secret, but the last thing I need is a normie student knocking at Nathan Prescott's dorm room for drugs.
"Who was the guy anyway?" he asks, I try not to sigh.
"I don't know, I couldn't see him, and he didn't give a name, I think it was just some kid from the school," it's the best I can come up with on the spot.
"Ah, what a leisure life," he teased. Our breakfast was brought to our table, we're both piss poor so our meals are mostly shared and small. After that, I drop him off at his school and head off to mine. The classes are mostly unimportant, just a lot of reviewing of last year. I take this time to go over some of the homework I missed yesterday. Jefferson's class is the same as always. Though he decides to take me outside to talk about his special project for me.
"I feel like you possibly didn't get the message of my project for you," he talks to me like a parent to their child, "you can't just go around taking pictures of random things you see on the street, they have to be well thought out. Have to line it up correctly so that the-" At this point I'm already taking my camera out and scrolling to Jo's photo.
"This is quite the amazing photo, Miss Thorne, you did a magnificent job at capturing him in his free jump. I shouldn't have doubted you, and for that, I apologize. You don't show it much, but you are quite gifted at this particular artform-" He then continues to draw on about my work, and I guess the "ethics" and "procedure" to take that photo. I glance over the classroom, most of them are only taking this for extra credit and as I said before, it's also for the school's publicity.
I would love to write a story about this established norm that the school's image is far more important than the students' mental health. The staff can catch the students with drugs, but to avoid a scandal, they'll let themselves be bought with a few hundred Benjamin Franklin's from the parents. One can only imagine the depths the Prescotts would go to make their little son seem like the best student to represent Blackwell. Well, in all honesty, they're not wrong about him best representing the school.
The school bell snapped me out of my deep thoughts and Jefferson's lecture. The rest of his class was the same as always, with a bit more encouragement for the students to enter the Heroes contest. At the very least he didn't address me so much as before. P.E class was a drag, though I was glad the girls were still friendly with me. I avoided Nathan Prescott as much as possible. I instead focused my attention on the girls, making sure they were able to keep up with the exercises. The first thing they make us do is a few laps around the track. I keep to my own pace until the girls show signs of exhaustion. At that point, I decided to catch up to their speed and give them a few pointers.
"Don't drag yourself, keep your body firm," I see Kate flinging her arms around, "and make sure to keep your arms steady to your body. Try not to move them around too much." After that, I continue, finishing up my lap. Unluckily for me, Prescott decides to approach me.
"So that's who you're keeping company?" he slows down next to me as we make a stop, "Honestly, I never took the fat goth as a druggie, but," he glanced over to them, then back at me, "people may surprise you." I roll my eyes, trying to make my breath steady before I speak.
"You have a lot of balls to say that so casually," I cross my arms, my breath and heartbeat finally calming down. He doesn't say anything more but before he leaves to go to his class, he leans in to whisper.
"Come over to my room tonight, I wanna take you up on that i.o.u," he says, leaving me with his smirk. I can feel my cheeks heat up, I tried not to think he meant it that way, but there was no way it wasn't. I'm gonna go to jail, bet that's what he wants. I head towards my class, distracting my thoughts with something else. It suddenly dawns on me that I still have to train some new newspaper students. It's not a difficult task but it's still pretty tedious. The teacher is only there to supervise, the older and more trained students are the ones responsible for training. I thank my lucky stars for Juliet, she's a junior, but one of the editors I trust most.
"You seem deep in thought," Alyssa says as we continue our exercises, "I know how that is, just contemplating on your existence in this meaningless lifetime." I can't help but snort a little, she seems offended by this.
"I'm sorry," I try to apologize, "I don't go that deep into thought," I go for a save. It's not much, but it still comforts her, I think…?
The rest of the class goes by uncomfortably. The few times I glanced around, I would notice Nathan's cold gaze at me. He didn't even try to hide it, he wanted me to know he was keeping an eye on me. I can't say I know how I'll be able to keep my distance from him. Maybe Justin was right?- he does have eyes and ears everywhere.
The day continued forward and I was able to find some peace of mind in the other classes, however boring they may be. I realized I would have to send a text to Jo, to make sure he knew why I wouldn't be able to pick him up this afternoon. Not just because of Newspaper training, but the matters with Nathan as well. I kept that last part out, of course. He would catch on pretty quickly if he found out about Nathan.
Newspaper was like a haven. Much like the Student Council, the students dictated the decisions. The teacher is mostly there as a glorified chaperone. After entering, I immediately approach Juliet.
"Juliet!" we give each other a short hug, "thank the heavens you're still here." She laughed and responded.
"Of course, you'd all be lost without my amazing stories!"
"No doubt, no doubt," I say as I lower my hands. We take a seat next to each other, waiting for the rest of the students to fill the room.
"So why exactly was the Newspaper delayed?" She went right for the kill. I take my time to respond.
"I don't know either, well, aside from what I was told briefly; apparently, there weren't enough students that signed up," I sigh, remembering the other reason, "and I heard they moved our lab again." Juliet smacks her hand on the desk, grunting in fury.
"Those cheapskates. They're doing this on purpose, I swear," she leans back in her chair, crossing her arms, "this year will be the year I finally expose those asshats in the department of education! They just want to keep the student's voices oppressed by the bigger voices of the 'adults'!" She continues to ramble on, I tune her out as I take a good look around. Much more female demographic than ever. I overhear some of the newbies chattering to themselves.
"I heard that even if you already took the photography class, if you take Newspaper, you'll automatically get into Jefferson's new class!" The girls squeal in glee. Of course, we wouldn't be getting any serious reporters. I sigh, bringing myself back to the conversation with Juliet.
"I promise, it'll be my number one priority before the end of the year!"
"You and me both, Jule," I agree with her. After all the remaining students are hushed, the teacher, Ms. Baker, stands in front to introduce herself then cues me to stand and introduce myself. The other students from the year before- that are now editors themselves- also make introductions. Lastly the newbies. After that, we get started right away, and just at that same time, I notice who the kids that are in it for the Jefferson free pass are. Mostly girls, admittedly, not surprising, but some guys, too. Go figure. I don't really care about how enthusiastic they are about the class. So long as they turn in some form of work, we'll all be peachy. It's the teacher who's sometimes a pain as she insists the students need to have more enthusiasm in journalism. She's an older woman, divorced with a daughter and son. Doesn't matter how well you know her, she'll still be very motherly towards you. While the students are practicing drafts, Ms. Baker calls for me at her desk.
"Before I forget, I was asked to see if you were interested in doing a piece about the new teacher, Mr. Jefferson!" Despite her whispering, she still lets out an excited tone.
"Oh, Ms. B, I don't think I can add anything else that hasn't already been said by the larger news organizations," I couldn't care less about it, in fact. The last thing I could ever want to do is make a piece flattering him more than is already being done by everyone else in the school.
"Well, perhaps it can be something about his teaching side. That's certainly something that hasn't been added by other newsgroups," she presses on. I sigh but don't agree to it.
"I'll think about it, Miss." She smiles, that's all she can ask for, I guess.
As the day comes to an end, my mind can't help but think back to Nathan, he's got me wrapped around his finger, that jerk! I try my best to hold off going to my dorm. It's inevitable, though, so after mindlessly roaming the library, I finally work up my courage and head towards the dorms.
Along the way, I catch a glimpse of the same girls from the trail in the forest. Mostly because of the blue-haired chick. I approach them casually and immediately state my purpose.
"You guys wouldn't happen to know if Nathan Prescott is in his dorm already?" The girls look at each other, the blue-haired one looking a little disgusted.
"Sorry, I- we, haven't seen him since lunch," the brunette says, a kind smile on her face, "But if we see him we can tell him you're looking for him." She pauses and before she can say anything else, the blue-haired girl talks.
"What's your name? We'll pass along the message."
"It's okay, now that I remember, I don't think he knows my name," I say, trying not to sound relieved. The girls walk away, I finally exhale. Suddenly, I realize it must've been weird for me to suddenly approach them. They probably don't remember me from the mountain cliff. Once I'm in my room, I get a text from Jo. He's pissed for not picking him up and I text him back a thousand apologies. I reevaluate my situation. If Nathan isn't around, then it won't matter if I go out to hang with him. Then again, I don't want to risk running into him on my way out. I'm better off in my room. I pick out a red plaid shirt with simple black leggings, some undergarments, and head to the showers. It's better to shower at night, there're fewer people going in and out and more hot water. As soon as I stepped out of the shower room, I end up wishing I hadn't come out of my room. I'm faced with Nathan sitting at the entrance of the girls' dorms. I instinctively hide my bra and panties, just before Nathan notices me. He stands up and walks over.
"Don't make me come to pick you up again," he says, annoyance in his tone. I purse my lips, mentally preparing to make a run for it.
"Who let you in?" I ask, already knowing the answer. Either that brunette or the other junior girl, Victoria, I think. Birds of a feather.
"That doesn't matter, I told you to come to my dorm tonight, and you're still dawdling around here." I notice something else in him. His manner of speech is a little slurred, and, actually, now that I have a closer look, he seems to have deeper bags.
"Are you okay, man?" I ask, pushing my clothes to one side and holding his shoulder with the other. He pushes my hand off, a little effortlessly. I can't believe I'm actually concerning myself over him. His demeanor is looking less pulled together. I hadn't even noticed he was wearing some sandals with socks. Gods help me! An old and musty looking gray hoodie. He seemed damaged.
"Ok, I'll go, but let me drop off my stuff first," I turn, and to my surprise, he follows behind. I snicker at the thought of him as a puppy. He already has the looks for it.
After leaving my stuff, and taking some of my homework, we head off to his room. I didn't notice it the first time, but it's surprisingly cold in here. The curtains are drawn, the only light coming from the lamp. His room smells like a museum. He gestures to sit on his bed with him. I leave my things on his chair, falling on the bed. We're quiet for a few moments before Nathan wraps his arm around my waist.
"Woah there, kid," I emphasize kid. He gives me a confused expression and I exhale loudly.
"You're not seriously thinking I would have sex with you, are you?" I pull his arm off me. He smirks a little more spirit in him.
"Why, because you think I'm a virgin?" he leans in with a smug face. Annoyed, I decide to tease him. I place my hands on either side of him, leaning in closer to push him down on the bed.
"Well, if you are experienced, why hesitate?" I say in a low voice. I can tell he's shocked and I can't help but laugh.
"Oh please," I stand up straight, "even if I was interested, I wouldn't dare touch you, too troublesome to get involved with someone younger than me." I think he's more relaxed as he removes his hoody. He hands it off to me, saying, "Here," when I don't take it he drops it on my lap, "I know my room is cold." He stands up, walking over to his desk. I take the hoodie and pull it over my head. It's definitely old, the must is not well hidden by the cologne he must've dabbed it in. It's still warm, however, from his body heat I suppose.
"Since when does Nathan Prescott wear old hoodies?" He scoffs at my remark, I feel a little better.
"My jacket is in the dry cleaners, and the cleaning lady doesn't come until Saturday," he brings out his laptop. A high-quality desktop and a high-performance laptop, this kid has no idea how to manage his allowance.
"You poor thing," I add sarcastically, he doesn't respond. He's quiet for a while longer before I finally speak, "So, if we're not gonna be doin' it, what are you gonna make me do?"
"I could just make you clean," his eyes are glued to the screen, "but that would be doing a service for the cleaning lady and not me."
"Oh, how generous of you," I utter. He finally pulls away from the laptop and hands it to me.
"You're gonna have to do my homework for the week," he smirks. I glare at him.
"You can't be serious?" I lay the laptop next to me, "the sex thing I'll believe, but you wouldn't lower your standards to the point of making people do your homework?" He only continues to smirk, I have the heavy urge to slap it off his pretty face.
"Since when does the 'genius' rich kid need someone to do his work?" I say, much more frustrated than before. He loses his smile and moves to lay on the bed.
"Just because I don't want to, doesn't mean I can't," he shrugs, then silence, "if you don't do it, you can go back to Frank and his sleazy prices." I spin to face him. He has that smug face again. I resist the urge to raise my hand. I take his desk, facing away from him. We don't speak to each other as I look over his assignment. I sort of remember doing this the year before but it takes me a couple of read-throughs to fully understand the process. After a few quiet moments, I finally speak up.
"So, what made you decide to steal away Frank's customers?" I ask, he's quiet for a moment, I think I can hear him laugh.
"Who says I'm stealing them?" he answers, unconcerned by my accusation. I try to think about what he's doing from a different perspective. In a way, he's doing a service to the junkies of Blackwell. He buys all the drugs and all the students need to do are just simple tasks for him. However that may be, he doesn't really gain income for it. He wastes his money on favors… I'll never understand the rich.
"By the way, my friend Rachel told me about a goth chick looking around for me," he paused before continuing, "at first I thought it was Alyssa, but then I remembered a different goth I'd met before." I could already feel his sly smirk on my back.
"So what?"
"So…? Was she talking about Alyssa, or you?" he continued, "You see, I had to think about it for a while, I thought asking her for your name might solve this mystery, but she said the goth told her I didn't know her name."
"Are you implying all goths know each other?" I finally turn to face him, to my surprise, he looks irritated instead of mischievous, "that's like me saying that all rich kids know each other, oh wait!" I turn back around, getting too annoyed to continue. We stay silent again, his eyes staring holes into my back. I sigh loudly, "A'right!- my name's Matilda, but people call me Maddie, there, satisfied?"
"What about your last name?"
"What for?" I spin in his chair to face him properly. He's got his smirk on again.
"So I can make a contract, make sure you don't forget you owe me every time I lend you some 'grass'." I roll my eyes and turn back, waving my hand to him.
"Do whatever you want, you're the one with the money."
After an hour or so, he sighs heavily and turns on the monitor. He has earphones on, the music off. I hadn't even noticed he wasn't listening. I could've used that opportunity to vent. I sigh under my breath, typing faster. After I'm done, I decided to take a pee break. Deciding to take the opportunity to get a snack, too. Before I even have the doorknob, Nathan sits up.
"Where you going?" he asks, angrily- I think?
"I'm just gonna go to the bathroom and get a snack," I hold my anger down easily this time.
"I'll go buy the snack, but try not to get caught in the hallways," he lies back down, getting something from underneath his bed. I roll my eyes again and head out. Before heading into the bathroom, I stop by my room and make a quick blunt. Smoking half of it in the bathroom. I put the rest in a plastic zip-lock and head back to Nathan's room. When I get back, he has an art movie on the screen. It's in a different language, but it still seems so creepy. Nonetheless, he watches intently.
"What movie is this?" I ask, breaking his concentration. He glances towards me, then back at the wall.
"'The Seventh Seal'," he says nonchalantly. I don't pay attention to the film all that much, but take a few glances while I work. By the end of the movie, and my work, he's dead asleep on his bed. Feeling much like a mother, I wrap his covers over him. He rolls around to face me. I think he's awake, I decide to explain myself.
"You'll get cold if you sleep like that," I try wrapping him again, he holds onto my hand, making it difficult. I sigh. Well, there was no way I was gonna be able to leave this late at night. I rest my head next to him. As my eyes start to get heavy, I take in his looks one last time. His long lashes rest softly on his cheeks. His mouth is slightly parted, letting me have a glimpse at his gap. His hair is messy and oily. His eyebrows are a mess. However that may be, the same thought goes through my head. He is pretty and I'm envious. My body finally gives in and I rest my eyes.
The sun isn't up when I'm awoken by a sound. My eyes snap open to find myself in Nathan's bed. Recalling back to the sound, I assume it was the door. Nobody's inside and I can hear a ruckus outside. My first instinct is to leave immediately, but knowing the sound outside can't mean anything good for me, I lay back down. The pillowcase smells pretty old and of dirty hair. I roll it over, not making much of a difference, but still much more comfortable.
After a few failed attempts at sleeping again, I decided to take a hit from the blunt still in the pocket of the hoodie. I manage to open the window, letting the cold breeze mix in and try to think back to the night before. I remembered I was laying next to the bed, but I was sure I never got in. Either I did it unconsciously, or the cold druggie prince pulled me up. After finishing up, I throw the last bit out the window and place everything back in its place. After another while of no Nathan, I look over my work, making sure I didn't mess something up, then begin to pace. Now and again, I put my ear to the door, listening in for any footsteps. Despite it being this early in the morning, the boys seem to be up and about already. I grunt, finally deciding to just book it out of there. I gather my things and pull off the hoodie. Before it's even over my head, Nathan walks in. He stares for a moment, looking confused.
"I gotta go," I say as if I was just caught in a crime scene. He shrugs his shoulders and sits on his bed. He's wearing the same clothes from yesterday, but his hair is wet and his skin is clearer. I hand him his hoodie back but he doesn't take it.
"Keep it, I don't need it anymore." He isn't looking my way, instead, he's searching his closet for a change of clothes. That's my cue to leave.
"Remember! See you tonight!" He says on my way out, before I close the door all the way, I respond.
"Fine, whatever!" To my horror, across the hallway is a boy, around Nathan's age, staring at me as if he's never seen a girl before. Hell, he's probably never seen a girl exiting a boy's dorm before. I'm frozen in place as if mirroring him, we both don't know what to do or say.
"Why the fuck are you still out there?" Nathan asks, opening the door slightly. Once he catches a glimpse of the boy across his room, he smirks.
"What's up beta-nerd? Never seen a hot chick this up close before?" He cackles as he pulls his head back in and shuts the door. I signal a good-bye to the kid and head off, keeping my head low.
Luckily, the girls on the floor are all still asleep, or at the very least, still in their room. I decide to wash my face first before heading back to my room. I spend a good hour laying down on my bed. If only the day wouldn't start. If only it was a weekend or a holiday. I could avoid everyone. There was no doubt that "beta-nerd" was gonna babble about my visit to Nathan's room. What if he recognizes me?! Of course, I don't care if they talk about me, it's not something I'm not used to. It's about who I was met with. I'm a Senior citizen for pete's sake! I'll look like a desperate whore!I shook my head violently, trying to throw out all those thoughts. Sometime later, I woke up to the alarm on my phone; the sun was already casting over my window. Some of the girls were already blasting their music in the hallways. I lazily stood up and changed, again. Once I gathered all of my things, I left for the parking lot.
Jo wasn't too happy to see me, nonetheless, he still accepted the ride to school.
"You're creating more greenhouse gases by coming for me," he muttered, I rolled my eyes, pulling up in front of his school.
"I had to come up with a way to make it up to you," I answered, a little more sincere.
"Then come hang with me tonight," he asked cheerily. I hesitated, pursing my lips.
"I can't I…" I rethought my answer, "I have to do some stuff for the go-between,"
"That's how he's making you repay? Favors!" he busted out laughing, exiting the car. He turned with a more amused smile.
"Whatever, you'll thank me when I can get more weed and pay zilch," I said humorously. To be honest, I didn't know how long I would be in his good graces. Better to milk it while I still could. He laughed and waved at me, I guess in a forgiving matter.
I stare down the entrance of the school. Other students are walking around me as if I didn't exist. I inhale deeply before finally taking a step forward.
I pray to every god I can think of: Please, don't let me run into that "beta-nerd"!