Amy Santiago isn't one to do things last minute.

On the other hand, she almost always finds a way to be ahead on every task she's given. She loves making plans, and binders, and her organization skills have earned her a lot of great reviews from her teachers back when she was still at school – and even after that, from her different bosses. It also allows her to be on time everywhere she goes, or to never miss a deadline.

Today though, for one of the rare times in her life, she's running late. And she can't even blame it on a problem at the bank – this is all her fault. She has to be at Gina's baby shower in less than two hours and hasn't bought a gift for her or the future baby yet. She's been postponing the moment until the last minute. And she doesn't even have a list to go by that could save her from having to think about what the future mother would want. Because unlike she would have done on any other occasion, she hasn't even started to think about it yet.

(For her defense though, she hasn't thought about much else than how to innocent her boyfriend and best friend and take them out of jail for the last few weeks.)

It's weird, to be honest, how Gina didn't make a list. Amy was actually expecting for her to send her some suggestions after she told the squad about the baby shower, followed with a witty comment about how she wasn't going to like her gift otherwise. But she didn't.

She didn't make a list, and she didn't make fun of her either.

In fact, she hasn't made fun of Amy in a while now. And even though she should be happy about it, she actually hates how Gina seems to have turned softer on her. She hates it, because she hates the reason why – hates that it's all because she has enough on her plate already to add to the fire, with her boyfriend being locked behind bars so far away from her.

She'd trade Gina's kindness for his freedom in a heartbeat.

Said boyfriend is also the reason why she waited for so long before heading to the store and buy something, actually. He's missed on so many things already, Amy couldn't bear the thought of him missing another one – she couldn't bear the thought of her going to another event without him. So she postponed the moment, over and over, holding onto the hope he'd be free before the baby shower happens. Holding onto the hope they could go gift shopping together.

The fact that she's currently all alone in a toys store is nothing but the painful reminder her hopes were in vain and Jake's still very much in prison.

She and the rest of the squad are still nowhere near finding anything to innocent him and Rosa.

Walking through the different units is hard, especially as she passes by several happy families with excited children and adoring parents. It reminds her of her own uncertain future. Reminds her how much she wants to have kids someday and how it might never happen now if Jake does have to remain behind bars for the next fifteen years. They haven't even had the time to talk about babies yet – and maybe they won't ever have the chance to.

(It's better for her mental health if she tries and doesn't think about it.)

Her breaking point comes when she reaches the stuffed animals' section of the store, though. Among the different bears and horses and hippos and literally any other animal a child could dream of, stands a shark that looks painfully familiar. It looks just like her boyfriend's own stuffed animal, which used to be put away in one of their drawers since he moved into her apartment and is now shamefully lying on their bed. Amy holds onto it every night as she falls asleep, catching her tears as she breathes into what remains of Jake's scent after one of the worst days.

It's nothing like his presence next to her on his side of the bed, nothing like his body to wrap her arms around and cuddle, but at least it's better than nothing. It's a little soothing.

It reminds her of him.

It reminds her of the first time she saw the toy and teased Jake about it – and how offended he looked when she dared to make fun of Jaw-n McClane, as he called it.

(She rolled her eyes at the name despite the small burst of laughter she let out. Of course he'd call it that.)

He'd be the one teasing her now, if he knew she can't sleep without it anymore.

A quiet sob escapes her throat at the thought. She can feel the panic attack creeping upon her, eyes stuck on the shark as she can't take them away from it. The tears quickly come, falling down her cheeks and soon become unstoppable.

God, she misses him so much.

She thought she'd reached rock bottom when he was away in Florida but this new terrible situation they're stuck in is starting to prove her wrong. Her heart has never hurt so bad.

"Are you alright, Ma'am?" A voice takes her out of her desperate trance. She startles as she turns towards where the sound came from and finds herself with one of the staff's members standing beside her. The younger girl is looking at her with sympathy and worry in her eyes. It's only then Amy realizes how loud her breathings have grown and how her hands are slightly shaking. She brings one to her face to wash off the salty pearls and nods at the girl reassuringly.

"Yes, I… I'm sorry. I'm okay." She sniffs, trying to regain some composure. She can feel the tip of her ears burning; she's ashamed of the 'scene' she just made in the middle of the store.

"You sure? You don't need anything?" The girl doesn't seem convinced by her words.

"No, thanks." Amy manages a half-smile. "I just… I need to go. I'm actually late for something. Thanks," she repeats. She doesn't wait for an answer to run towards the exit door.

She needs to get out of here. She needs some fresh air or she's gonna suffocate again.

Her eyes are puffy and red from having cried too much when she eventually makes it to Gina's baby shower thirty minutes after the agreed-upon hour, with no better gift than a poor envelope with some cash in it but nobody makes any comment about any of those. And this time, Amy is grateful for her friends' consideration.

(Next time she steps foot in a toys store again to buy Gina's baby a gift, little Iggy is born and well and Amy's not alone anymore – Jake is with her, trotting around the different units like an excited child. She watches him do with a huge grin on her face and her heart warm in her chest. Her future isn't uncertain anymore.

The ring that's standing out on her left finger and the promise of forever attached to it are a good testimony of what the next – many, hopefully – years of her life are about to look like.

Full of joy and unmitigated love.)