Would You Let Me See Beneath Your Beautiful?

Everything goes just fine, at first.

No, great, even.

The touch of Jake's hands on her body, eagerly yet somehow so sweetly discovering her body for the first time sends shivers running down her spine as they stand in the dim light of his small apartment. When his mouth leaves hers after exchanging another searing kiss, it's only to set down on her neck. Amy closes her eyes to better appreciate the feeling of his lips pressing against her skin.

A small moan escapes her – for sure she doesn't regret breaking yet another rule with him.

The remnants of her 4-drink counterpart make her own touches bolder, and her kisses more passionate, yet Amy's sober enough to know what she's doing and, more importantly, to know she wants this. She made sure Jake knew that too when she suggestively asked him to take her to his place and he hesitated, reminding her of the rule she herself came up with earlier that day.

Let's not have sex right away.

It was a dumb idea she got, she realized soon enough as she ordered 4 kamikaze shots for herself back at the restaurant.

So everything goes just fine – great – heavenly well until Amy starts working off the buttons of Jake's blue shirt, soon making it join his jacket and her heels already discarded on the floor.

She takes a moment to take him in, her palms flat on his now bare chest. She can feel his heart beating loudly under her hands – it makes her smile smugly as she looks up at him.

She is the one who makes him feel like this, she can't help but think proudly.

(Truth to be told, in her own chest, her heart is beating just as fast with excitement and anticipation.)

But then as she lets her eyes fall back on his body, she's stopped still in her movements when she sees it. A red scar, partially hidden under his chest hair. It doesn't seem too old, nor does it seem to have healed so properly, leaving a very obvious mark where it stands. Amy's no doctor but she's seen enough wounds in her life as a detective and sister of seven reckless brothers to know that 1) this is definitely a knife wound, and 2) it clearly hasn't been taken care of professionally.

For a moment the excitement is gone, replaced with worry as she ever so gently traces the scar with the tip of her finger. Her eyes are stuck on Jake's chest, unable to look away from it. Even though she can't see his face, she can still feel his body tense under her touch – and not in a good, agreeable way. A heavy silence falls upon the room as he holds his breath and Amy tries to recall where he could have gotten this.

Even though it's been a while (not that she counts the times she did, nor did she paid it too much attention when she saw him), this is not the first time she's seeing him shirtless.

As partners in the field for years now, they've learned to know each other rather intimately whether they wanted it or not. Plus she still has this one pic he sent her while being drunk the previous year, of him eating Chinese chicken salad on the subway platform – only as a way to blackmail him if needed, of course.

The quality of the pic wasn't too good, and she hasn't seen it in a while, but Amy is sure if he'd gotten the scar back then she would have noticed.

So it must have happened after that. Still, she can't remember a time recently when he got injured on a case with her or the squad had to visit him at the hospital for a knife wound. And then again, there is no way this wound has been treated in a hospital anyway – or the doctor who took care of it was a complete amateur.

She can't recall him ever talking about getting hurt at all, which is weird in itself. Knowing Jake, he's more the kind of guy to brag about how he defeated death and show his 'dope' scars to everyone.

This is when it finally hits Amy. Jake was gone undercover for six months. With the mafia. The probability he injured himself there is very high, then. And it's a time he never talks about.

Well, it's not true – he did say a few things here and there after he came back, still likes to remind everyone from time to time about this awesome mission he got assigned to, but overall he never went into deep details. Nobody's sure what he actually did and saw there because he always remains vague every time someone asks him then quickly changes topics.

It definitely seems like no matter how he tries to make it look like something amazing and light, a dream job become true, it's all in fact just some dark times he'd rather not think about too much – or at all.

Amy's heart tightens in her chest as she keeps her eyes and finger on the scar and imagines Jake, injured and alone having to leave his health and life in the hands of some criminals.

She knows it's not her fault and there's nothing she could have done but somehow, she feels the guilt creeping up on her – the guilt of not having been there for him.

"How'd you get this?" she can't retain herself from asking, despite everything. She tries to remember their getaway weekend at Charles's ex-wife's beach house – probably the last time she saw him shirtless before tonight when everyone shared a moment in the hot tub together – and if he had it back then. All she can recall though is how 4-drink Amy, back when she was silently pining for him, couldn't stop thinking about what it would be like to run her hands through the bare skin of his body as she was staring at him hungrily. He was sitting right in front of her and she silently thanked Holt for asking to turn off the jets as it gave her a much better view of him this way.

(If she wasn't so worried about him right now, she would definitely relish in the fact that she does know what his body feels like under her touch, now.)

For sure she was too drunk to think clearly and notice anything else than how good-looking he was with a few droplets of water falling down his chest. It would be no surprise then that she missed the scar at the time.

When she looks up, she finds Jake staring at her with a mix of a little pain and something else, something softer and fonder that takes over the rest the moment their eyes meet. He gently removes her hand away from his chest and kisses it lightly. For a beat she feels better, chills running down her spine.

He brings his mouth to her ears and whispers softly. "Happened when I was undercover," he says what she already guessed, then presses a kiss there. "Just some sexy scar I got while being out there saving the world," he tries to joke but Amy knows better – this is his signature reaction for when a conversation turns too serious for his liking. It doesn't amuse her, then.

She doesn't have the time to say anything in return because his mouth finds hers right after, before heading south towards her neck and the spot he found earlier that she likes so much. It's clear he wants to distract her from her question and worries and just wishes to go back to their previous, more fun activities rather than dwell in his past.

To be fair he almost succeeds, as Amy closes her eyes and lets the warm feeling overwhelm her just for a second before she opens them again.

Jake can probably tell he won't get away with this so easily and she can't take the thoughts away from her mind because, after one last light kiss and a sigh, he draws away to meet her eyes with his.

"It's all fine. I swear." The softest of smiles comes lighting up his entire face as he talks to her and gently strokes her arms in reassurance.

Amy takes a second to stare at him. One part of her brain tells her she should ask for more and make sure he is fine indeed – it's too important a matter to let it be as it is. She doesn't want to force him to share things he doesn't feel like sharing with her, though. This is not her place to do so. Jake will tell her all about it when he wants to – if he wants to. Plus his hands on her make it hard for her to stay focus, with her whole body begging for him to touch her further.

The way he looks at her, so fondly, doesn't help either.

"Okay." She eventually relaxes under his touch as she shoots him a small smile.

This is no one-night stand – Amy wants this relationship to work, and it seems like Jake does too, so they will always have later to talk about this scar. For now, she simply pulls him in for a kiss. It's very sweet and tender at first, completely different from their previous exchanges but quickly heats up as Jake's hands fall from her arms to her waist and they start over where they stopped in the discovery of each other's body.

(In the end, this night becomes one of the best Amy's ever spent in her life. As she falls asleep with Jake's head resting on her chest and the covers of his bed wrapped around her, she definitely doesn't mind breaking this particular rule. This was no mistake at all, they both agree on that.)

(It takes a little longer for Jake to fully open up about what truly happened while he was undercover with the mafia but when he does, the both of them lying in the intimacy of her room with just the moon outside as their witness and bringing some light in, Amy's there listening to him every step of the way and making sure he knows he'll never have to go through such things alone.

He'll have her by his side.)