There was the memory of pain, searing and hot, tearing through him before the dark took over, whispering secrets ancient and near-forgotten. Now he felt a familiar aching pull settle into his chest, warmly flooding his limbs, down to the very tips of his fingers and toes. Then came the ringing in his ears, not unpleasant, almost like a melody he knew well, albeit louder and more insistent than he could recall. There was another sound, a repeated tone, rapidly increasing in both speed and volume. A word. "No." Solas felt the earth beneath his fingers become real, pressing against the skin with a feeling that was almost... charged. He pushed himself up and realized that it wasn't the ground that held this charge - it was everything. He felt it course over his flesh, around and through him, lifting him upward, imbuing his senses with something that had felt beyond reach only a few moments ago. The energy inside him boiled, threatening and strong as it rushed to answer the call, halted in its path by the word, again. "No." Solas shook the feeling from his head, vision clearing as he found himself standing in the eerie green glow, his skin still shimmery with the raw power that flowed through the very air. He turned his head to see Cole's face hanging before him. He canted his gaze, brain stumbling to catch up with what his eyes struggled to comprehend. Cole hung upside down, but he wasn't hanging. He was standing, just on another surface, one above him.
"I'm not supposed to be here." Cole's words were frantic. "I can't be in the Fade. Not physically. I can't."
"What does he mean?" Blackwall was examining his hands and arms, as if not believing they fully existed. "Have we died? Is that it?"
"No," Solas rolled his shoulders, relaxed his neck, taking a moment to settle his mind. "Not dead. But he is correct: we do appear to be in the Fade. Physically."
"I thought that wasn't supposed to be possible."
"Nothing is truly impossible when it comes to the Fade." Solas turned. "Did we all break through?"
Blackwall made a sort of noisy exhale. "How are you so calm?" Then he gestured, "She's over there, with the Seeker." Solas headed in the indicated direction and Blackwall called after him. "You can't just leave us like this!"
Cole, now standing near Solas, called out, "Just think that you want to be there, then move there."
Blackwall struggled before landing heavily near the pair. "I thought you weren't supposed to be here."
"No. But I still understand how it works."
"Lovely," Blackwall grimaced.
Evelyn was half on the ground, Cassandra crouched near her. "I don't understand," she looked up at Solas. "How did this happen?"
"I imagine it was the mark. Your panic response amplified by certain old magicks in that place to open a rift. We fell through that rift and found ourselves... here."
She lifted her hand, the mark pulsing a dull green. "I can do that?"
"It appears so," Solas helped her to her feet.
"Does Corypheus know that I can do that?"
"I believe that is why he seemed so desperate to claim the mark from you."
Her gaze darkened as she turned this information over in her mind. Behind her, Solas became aware of The Iron Bull's steady stare. "Sooo... what happens if he manages to get some sort of control of her? Corrupts her, the way he seems to just, y'know, do?"
"I would suggest we not let that happen."
"Right." That look again, the shifting behind the Qunari's flat expression that made Solas' blood chill.
"Everyone seems to be taking this remarkably well," Blackwall's voice was sarcastic, creeping with panic.
"We've been dealing with demons, blighted dragons, mind control, blood control, alternate timelines, ancient magisters, some real shit," The Iron Bull slung his axe over one shoulder. "I haven't seen any one of those things respond to freaking out. So I suggest we all keep it together."
"Well said," Evelyn dropped Solas' hand from her own, staring down at it as if she hadn't been aware she was still holding onto it. He was focused on some point past her head. She followed his gaze, eyes widening. "Is that the Black City?"
"It is. How unusual to find it so... so very close. This is not a part of the Fade I am familiar with, nor is it one I would have chosen to visit."
"That sounds ominous."
"We would do well to be careful. The demon the Wardens were attempting to summon might be nearby."
"How nearby, exactly?"
"Closer than I would prefer." Solas frowned, surveying the landscape. "Judging from our surroundings I would think this is the domain of a fear demon. A quite powerful one, at that."
"How can you tell that?" Varric's friend, the warrior named Hawke, finished buckling his pack and stood.
"Because he's afraid," Cole spoke softly.
"I would dare say we all are. But I hardly think it's the demon alone causing that." Hawke checked the hilt of his sword and adjusted the pack on his back. "So we know where we are, and possibly what we face, but do we know how the hell to get out of here?"
Evelyn worried her lower lip with her teeth. "We fell near the rift the Wardens opened. Could we find that, perhaps?"
"Yes," Solas nodded. "I believe that portal there might be the one we seek." In the distance, the misty purple and green clouds swirled. "Be on your guard, this place can cause confusion."
"That's the understatement of the year," Hawke strode ahead of the others.
Cole's words continued to gnaw at Solas. The others appeared to shake the comment off, just another throwaway odd thing from the odd boy with the tendency to say odd things. Fear took many shapes, and the Fade here would twist to show each some reflection of their own deep-seated horrors, yet he could not help but feel that some of this were particular to him. Something about the way the architecture formed, the repeating iconography of wolves, some trapped in the mouths of screaming blighted figures, seemed intentional. Doubly troubling was the presence of red lyrium. The infection Corypheus spread had reached even here, the land beyond. Was this place formed following the events at the Temple of Sacred Ashes?
The paranoia did not abate when their party rounded a corner to find a large, shattered eluvian standing sentinel in the middle of a small island, a skeletal figure surrounded by tomes and rough sketches collapsed before it. Evelyn carefully turned over the books, the pages crumbling into dust at her touch, before placing a hand against one of the warped remnants of the mirror's glass. "There is something about this that feels almost familiar," she said.
"That is not surprising. I believe the demon guarding this place might be the same you encountered in the Fade at the Temple of Sacred Ashes."
"I've faced it before," she said faintly.
"Likely."
"So it remembers me," her tone turned grim.
"I fear you are quite familiar, yes," Solas again pulled her to her feet. "If this demon feeds off the energy Corypheus has inspired, it will know much about you."
"Do you think it's looking for her?" Hawke looked around uneasily.
"If we have somehow managed to arrive without notice, that would be surprising indeed." Solas indicated the stair in the distance. "I would suggest we proceed quickly."
His mind remained focused on the task at hand, moving swiftly through the murk and over the stone steps, hoping beyond hope that they didn't find any physical manifestations of fear he might find difficult to explain. The Qunari was already staring pointedly at him far too often for his liking, and the last thing he needed was one of the others remarking that something seemed off, or Cole deciding to expound on any of the responses he failed to control. All they had to do was make it past-
Solas stopped in his tracks, hearing the sharp intake of breath from Cassandra behind him. Standing not three yards ahead was a woman dressed in chantry garb who bore a most striking resemblance to the deceased Divine. As she spoke, something about her shimmered with energy that again caused the corresponding power deep within him to respond. Solas staggered back slightly, feigning something in his boot as he crouched, trying desperately to keep his composure. He could hear the conversation as if it were in a distant room, clawing his fingernails into his palms to ground himself in the last shreds of reality this body still clung to.
"... is it possible?" Evelyn's voice returned to full volume in a rush. He found her standing above him.
"Sorry?"
She frowned. "Solas, are you all right?"
"It was just something in my boot," he breathed deeply. "Is what possible?"
"Can she really be Justinia?"
"You survived your first trip into the Fade. It is possible she did, as well. Or it is possible an empathetic spirit saw her plight and felt strongly enough to take on her form."
"Is there any way to know for sure?"
"We could ask her," Solas brushed his hands off. "She might be willing to tell us, if she knows."
"She also said I could face the fears the demon took from me, by using those orbs the spirits left behind. She said the demon took them from me... it feels almost like a kindness."
"I take fears from people, take their hurts, but I'm not a demon," Cole's form shivered, his voice again had that near-hysterical edge to it.
Solas touched the boy's arm lightly. "You are not like this being, Cole. I promise you that."
"No. He eats the fears. They make him stronger. I take the pain to ease their suffering, not to benefit my own wants." Cole appeared more solid. "Thank you for reminding me, Solas."
Evelyn shattered the orbs, releasing small ripples of energy that altered the space around them, culminating in a shared vision. A small circle of mages wearing Warden armor, holding the Divine in some sort of binding while Corypheus approached, the orb held high. Then a commotion at the door, Evelyn stumbling in, her face turning from confusion to rage. Justinia managing to land a single strike when the spell disrupted, the orb tumbling across the stone toward Evelyn, who caught it without a thought. The world flashed again and they all found themselves again standing in that same grotto.
"Those were Grey Wardens," Hawke spat.
Stroud, the Grey Warden companion who had stayed relatively quiet until this moment, raised his hands. "They were not of their own minds, we've seen how he compelled them."
"And we shouldn't be angry? That something can be so easily compelled by a self-proclaimed vengeful deity just because they drank some concoction to what? To help them fight darkspawn? Is that the tradeoff we're supposed to accept?"
"You're over-simplifying because you're angry, Garrett," Stroud replied. "Remember we're in this together."
"Now is neither the time nor the place," Evelyn looked weary, rubbing her marked hand with irritation. "Fade demon first, then we can decide who's to blame."
It continued on like this. The spirit representation of Justinia remaining cryptic and evasive as their party picked through the various enemies the fear demon conjured, Hawke and Stroud bickering at the rear. On more than one occasion they encountered a remnant of some unlucky spirit still wrapped in the fear and suffering experienced by a mortal. Some spirits would cling to a horror experienced by the living mortals, driven by a compassion they could not escape. He was surprised to find his heart wrenched every time Evelyn stopped to try to release the soul from its torment, digging through decrepit crypt jars and boggy soil to unearth trinkets, trying to right the wrongs these lost souls mourned. It was on one of these expeditions that he heard her call out for him, her voice high and fearful.
"Solas, what is this?"
She stood at the edge of a graveyard, small and unkempt, its stones weathered and near-buried in tall grass and weeds. Each was emblazoned with a name that he realized was familiar. Each had a line beneath the name that caused a pit to form deep within him.
Sera
The nothing
Varric
Becoming his parents
She reached for his fingers and squeezed, hard, tears slipping down her cheek. "What is this?"
Then he saw it, his own name carved in stone.
"It is the demon. Trying to frighten us." He struggled to keep his voice level. "We should not linger here."
She nodded, wiping at her face. "Don't tell the others. Keep them away from here."
"Of course."
They found the others standing on the stair above. "There's a barrier ahead," Blackwall said in a low tone. "And that thing that says its the Divine is standing near it."
"It is Justinia," Cassandra's mouth hung open. "Can you not see? She is here to protect us."
"It's a demon, Seeker Cassandra. How can you not see what it's trying to do?" Hawke seemed incredulous.
"Whatever it is," Solas replied evenly. "It seems to identify very strongly with the Divine, and it seems intent on helping us. I would suggest we allow it to, until it proves otherwise."
"Yes," Evelyn's tone was short. "If it wanted to kill us it likely would have done so by now. Nothing else seems to have hesitated. Let's get this over with and out of this cursed place."
The spirit with Justinia's form did not turn on them, instead continuing to lead, protect, and break through barriers when necessary, revealing more of the past as it did so. The Divine was the woman sighted behind Evelyn when she burst through the rift and returned from the Fade, giving her own life to save their now-Inquisitor. It seemed more likely than ever that this spirit had been so moved by the sacrifice that she chose the form, the personality, the very essence of the woman as her own. The noblest gift such a spirit could bestow: perfect imitation to carry on the memory of something the spirit so admired. A form of immortality. Beautiful to witness, if tragic.
Despite the spirit's protection, the fear demon continued to attempt its worst, culminating in cruelties spoken to each in turn in the wretched voice of Corypheus himself. It taunted Blackwall with hidden secrets from his checkered past, Cole with threats of abomination, Hawke with past pains clearly left better buried. Solas closed off his mind, creating a wall of static noise that would protect him from the prying, searching tendrils.
"Do you believe this will end well, Inquisitor? How can you when you fail to recognize what warms your bed at night?"
Solas stopped short, feeling his heart squeeze. It was all the demon needed to break through.
"Dirth ma, harellan. Ma banal enasalin. Mar solas ena mar din."
His jaw clenched, the words came before he could stop himself. "Banal nadas."
Later, they would nurse their wounds and their losses at the far camp, trying to forget the final horror of the demon they faced. The Grey Wardens were to assist the Inquisition, much to Solas' irritation. They'd lost one of the Wardens in the Fade, the man called Stroud that Hawke had introduced to the Inquisition. The Warden's death impacted her greatly, and he felt the decision to protect the Order was one driven by grief as well as Evelyn's misguided Ferelden loyalty to the organization. He hoped this decision would not spell doom for them all.
"What did he say to you?" Evelyn pulled her boot off beside him.
"Stroud?"
"The demon. It was in elvhen. He spoke too fast for me to gather anything other than 'victory.'"
"Ah," Solas assisted her with her other boot, watching her wince as she rotated her shoulder slowly. "He was letting me know all of my efforts would be for naught. Essentially, I am and will always be a failure. Fairly common fears, I frankly expected better."
"And you replied?"
"I told him nothing is inevitable."
She laughed slightly. "I don't think you're a failure, for what it's worth."
"Thank you."
"And, Solas?" She caught his arm, words coming fast and with great fervency. "I won't let you die alone."
The campfire that night held the usual chatter. There was more than one drunken toast to fallen companions. Rumors of Grey Warden possession passed from one man to the other. The conversation turned, however, when those who witnessed the events outside the command tents joined the circle. The Inquisitor and the elf were at it again, more brazen and bold than ever. There was a re-enactment of the way she'd grabbed his arm, an exaggerated recreation of the kiss, giggling over the mimicry of the elf's expression as he was pushed backward toward her tent.
"I guess she's not mad anymore," was met with uproarious laughter, the fears and death forgotten for the night.