Anakin's POV
"Hello Anakin. Come on in," said Depa.
I walked into the familiar room, noticed that Obi-Wan followed me in. "Does he need to be in here?" I asked.
"I think he can help give me a good idea about how you are doing, and what you need," said Depa.
"See Anakin. I can help," said Obi-Wan proudly.
I rolled my eyes. I settled down on the rounded chair and they both sat on other chairs.
"Okay," said Depa. She got out a data pad, and pulled up a file that had my picture and a bunch of notes on it. "So the honeymoon started two weeks ago, and you had the incident two days into it. And Ashoka and Rex came over and stayed and there were no other incidents right."
"Yes," I said.
"And then you got back last week. You reported to the council, then meditated with Yoda, and then met with me, and we all agreed you were not a danger to yourself or anybody else. So you went home to Padme alone."
"Well, I invited myself over and kind of supervised," said Obi-Wan.
"Which was really unnecessary," I said.
Depa smiled. "What are overbearing big brothers for? So, how are you feeling, Anakin?"
"I'm fine," I said shrugging. They both looked at me like they needed some convincing. "Look, I just had a nightmare and slept walked, that's it, and now everyone is treating me like I am suddenly a really fragile person. Yeah, I know I freaked Padme out, but I did not activate my lightsaber, and if I had it would have hurt me that is all. I think all of this extra security is overkill. We need to be looking for Sidious. As long as Padme is safe, then we are good."
Obi-Wan sighed. "You see what Rex and Ashoka were dealing with while they were supervising the honeymoon. As soon as they got close, Anakin would rail and swear that he was fine and that they needed to back off. I think he only let them come at all because Padme insisted."
"I was going to ask, what does Padme say about all of this? Does she think you're fine, Anakin?" asked Depa.
I rubbed the back of my neck. "Well, when I had my nightmare and was going to, you know, she was really freaked out. She told me at dinner last night that she ran into Bail Organa and apparently just started crying because she was worried about me. She has never done that before, just cried. So I guess I'm stressing her out," he sighed. "No, she probably thinks that I am not fine."
"Well, it's a relief to hear you say that," said Obi-Wan.
"Why?" I said angrily. "Why is it good that I am scarring my wife and I am ruining my own happiness all over again?"
Obi-Wan put his hands out in a gesture of peace. "I meant I'm glad you can admit you need help, padawan. I was not sure you would do it. That is the first step, right?"
"Yes, Anakin." Depa said. "Admitting that you need help is a good sign. I'm sure Obi-Wan has memories of when you were in a situation like this and you did not want help or guidance, or you only wanted Palpatine's opinion."
I nodded. I remembered being lost and confused when I thought Padme was going to die, and I turned to Palpatine for power. I was glad that creep was far away from me and my angel. "Okay," I said, "I see your point. Fine I need help. There I can admit it."
"And, there is no evidence that you are going to ruin your happiness all over again Anakin," Depa said. "You are here, seeking wise counsel."
"I did all that before," I mumbled.
"But not from those who had your best interest at heart. Palpatine was using your diagnosis and advising you in order to create a Sith. We are not doing that. You know that, right?"
I said nothing.
"Don't you trust us Anakin?" said Obi-Wan.
"Yeah. I mean I think I do. I trust you only want what is best for me, but…"
"But what?" asked Depa.
"Well, I lost Padme. Yes it was because of my own stupidity, but I lost her. I don't know if I can live like that again," I said.
"Do you blame the Jedi for Padme's death?" asked Obi-Wan.
"I did. For a long time. It was easier than blaming myself. I could live with myself if it was someone else's fault. But, I know deep down it was mine. I pushed her away. I was the one who became a monster on Mustafar that hurt her. I need to stop that from happening at all costs. That is the main reason I am here, so I don't ever hurt her again."
"What made you hurt her to begin with?" Depa asked.
"He dissociated. He was really unwell, not making sense. We should have taken him to a hospital, but I did not understand what was happening. That and I doubt he would have come along willingly," said Obi-Wan studying me.
"No," I said. "I don't think I would have."
"We can't erase the past, but you know what is happening now so we can change the future," she said.
"Yeah," I said. "If Padme is in danger you have my permission to stun me and drag me anywhere. You know, worst case scenario."
"Lovely," said Obi-Wan.
"If we find Palpatine, this wont be a problem," I said.
"I thought we agreed you were not going to look for Palpatine?" asked Obi-Wan.
"I may not have a choice," I said.