N: i had some easter candy this morning for breakfast, winning! and it got me all sugared up to write. So here! Another update! It's angsty...but that's what i do best! Enjoy and read on!

Maura

"It was a gruesome, no holds barred fight." Frost spoke softly as we stood in a separate waiting room reserved for police officers. He picked at the edge of a coffee cup, hands shaking as he did his best to hold it together. "Jane fought till the end. And finally won."

I'd arrived at the hospital and found him standing right outside the trauma bay. I then used my badge and status to get us upstairs to the waiting room while Jane went life saving surgery. I slipped on my queen of the dead mask, struggling to keep my own panic inside. No doctor was available to give us an update in over an hour and I was growing nervous. My mind running through a thousand different scenarios of what happened to Jane. "What happened?" I asked the question a hundred times since I arrived, but never got a full answer out of the distraught detective.

"Hoyt. Hoyt came back. He was on a spree and baiting Jane to chase him. And she did." He sighed, shaking his head. "I tried. We tried. Korsak and I knew she'd get lost in his hellfire and wouldn't stop until one of them was dead." He glanced at me, his eyes glassy with unshed tears. "He led her to the wealthy side of the city, leaving bodies as a trail knowing she'd follow. She didn't wait for back up and took him on. The bedroom where they fought looked like Tyson and Holyfield had gone fifteen rounds." He gripped the cup, squeezing it until the Styrofoam creaked and split. "I hit the front door and heard the gunshots. Ran upstairs and found Hoyt bleeding out from three perfect shots to the heart. Jane was slumped against the wall." He paused, clearing his throat.

I stepped closer, laying a hand on his wrist. "Barry. She's safe now." I worked the lie into a partial truth. Jane was safe in the hospital, but until I knew the extent of her injuries, I wouldn't know if she was okay and my heart would be safe from breaking. I had a vague idea of who this Hoyt was, but wasn't clear who he truly was to Jane and her partners. I had wanted Jane to tell me that part of her story, not search it out on my own. But now I knew I'd be searching the second Jane was out of surgery and stable.

He nodded. "He stabbed her multiple times. In the chest, stomach, thigh. He knew where to make it hurt. The worst was when I saw the scalpel in her right hand. He drove it in the same place he did years ago." He let out a shuddering breath, looking down the hall. "He couldn't ever let her go. He was obsessed and in turn made her obsessed." He ran a hand over his face. "Fuck."

I wanted to understand what Frost meant when he described the scalpel in Jane's hand. But now wasn't the time to push. I smiled, guiding Frost to take a seat. "I'll get you more coffee and something to eat. You look very pale." He nodded and sat in a hard plastic chair, then looked at me. "Chief Medical Examiner? Why didn't you say anything?"

I tipped my head down. "I wanted to surprise Jane." I paused, my voice cracking as I spoke her name. I took a step back before my façade broke and I fell into a pile of tears. "I'll be right back."

I walked down the hall with urgency towards the small lounge when the elevator to my left opened and a tired surgeon walked out. It was Jane's surgeon, Dr. Carbon. Frost and I had met him briefly when we were escorted up to the waiting room. That was well over four hours ago. He smiled and walked over to me. "Dr. Isles."

"Is Jane alright?" I blurted out the words with anxious fear.

Dr. Carbon sighed. "She's stable. I apologize if I skip the heavy medical terms, this was a lengthy surgery, a difficult one. We repaired the damage to her aorta in her chest, the femoral in her left thigh and tied up a few nicks in her stomach lining. The damage won't be fully clear until the swelling goes down. We stitched up her hand for now. I'll have a plastic surgeon and ortho come in and take a look in a day or two to see what's next. She suffered blunt force trauma to her the right side of her cranium, along with the type of trauma I've only seen on boxers. Her body looks like she took a few turns in an industrial dryer." He met my eyes. "It's a waiting game at this point. Her body has been through a lot and there's only so many surgeries she can endure before it fails completely. We almost lost her twice on the table, but that woman is strong. It's like she's not ready to give up when her body gave up at the scene."

I bit the inside of my cheek. "Jane is strong. One of the strongest people I've ever met." Dr. Carbon's exhausted tone wasn't doing a fair job of covering up that he didn't have the best expectations of a full recovery for Jane. "When can I… her family see her?"

"They're bringing her down to the ICU the moment a bed is available." He gave me a tight smile. "As soon as she's settled, we can allow one at a time."

"Of course." I smiled. "I believe her family is downstairs. Her partner is right by the nurse's station, he can show you where the family is."

Dr. Carbon gave me a strange look. "You're not family, Dr. Isles? You seemed very close to Detective Rizzoli when I met you."

"I'm just a coworker." I stepped around Dr. Carbon and waved at Frost. Frost jumped out of his chair and rushed towards the doctor. Dr. Carbon was quickly bombarded by questions, giving me the chance to escape into the shadows. I slipped into linen closet and broke down. I covered my mouth as I sobbed, tears streaming down my face as the queen of the dead mask tumbled to the floor. Dr. Carbon's words swam in my mind. I picked apart what he told me. It wasn't good. Jane had endured hell and barely made it out.

I'd just found Jane and now I was on the verge of losing her.

Late that night I slipped into the hospital. It was way past visiting hours and Jane's family would've already left. Frost wanted to introduce me to the Rizzoli's but I politely declined. I wasn't ready. Instead I stood off to the side of the private room I arranged for Jane, watching from afar as Jane's mother and brothers sat with her. Although they were distraught, I could feel the love and warmth Jane radiated, in them. They were loud, but loved equally as loud. Just like Jane.

I sucked in a deep breath, preparing to see Jane for the first time. It was late at night and the floor was silent. Only a few nurses moving between rooms checking on patients, I wouldn't be bothered. It was the same nurses who winked and told me since I was technically a doctor, visiting hours didn't apply to me.

I stepped into the room and my heart stopped at the sight of Jane in the bed. She was hooked into a few machines and IV lines trailed along her arms and neck. Most of her body was wrapped in gauze. Her face was black and blue, swollen from the fight. I stumbled a few steps, falling into the chair her mother had pulled to the edge of the bed. "Oh god, Jane." Tears ran down my cheeks as I looked over the ferocious fiery woman who burned into my life like wildfire. Her fire was gone, replaced by a tired, broken body lying in a cold room. I picked up her left hand, wincing at how cold it was, and wrapped it in both of mine. I'd seen thousands of dead bodies in throughout my education and career, always able to look past the person and at the science. Death and violence didn't bother me, but seeing the woman I loved in this state, I want to crumble and cry until I ran out of air. Jane wasn't science, or a body with clues I needed to extract. She was my heart, the warmth I'd been searching my entire life.

I kissed her knuckles. "Keep fighting, Jane. Please. You have so much here for you. Your family, your partners, they all love you so much." I reached up, brushing some of her wild curls away from her face, my heart in my throat as the words spilled free. "I love you so much." I cried harder as the weight around my heart was lifted and replaced by a new one. "I wanted to tell you the other night when I lectured you about raccoons. I wanted to interrupt you and tell you when explained the first rule to loving Jane Rizzoli was always making sure you were well fed." My voice broke as another sob spilled forth. "Keep fighting." The words came out in a hard whisper. I cried in silence as I held her hand, wishing I had the ability to turn back time.

I fell asleep with her hand in mine.

"Mine. Mine. Mine!"

Hoyt's sing songy voice drew me deeper into the darkness. I spun a circle, my hands covered in blood, screaming for him to face me. He called my name and I ran in the direction it came from. Slipping and falling on my hands. I screamed when I turned them over. Scalpels stuck out of them, more blood pooling in my palms. I fell back to sit on my heels, crying and screaming for him to face me.

The cold metal of the scalpel pricked the skin around my neck. His hot breath against my ear as he spoke. "Jane. Mine." The blade dug into my skin and the hot blood poured down my neck.

I opened my eyes and went to scream but couldn't. Something was lodged in my throat. I panicked, grabbing for it but found my hands were numb. One was covered in gauze and hurt like a bitch, the other was trapped under someone. I freaked out when I saw their hand in mine, I went to sit up. A pulling sensation in my neck, as if something was ripping my skin apart, followed by loud beeping alarms, had me screaming soundless screams.

The lights in the room exploded on and shut my eyes as hands grabbed my shoulders. Pushing me back into the bed. I tried to fight them. Hoyt wasn't going to win this time. I reached out with my left hand, wrapping fingers around their sleeve and pulled as hard as I could.

"Jane, stop. You're going to hurt yourself." The sleeve spoke and leaned closer to me. It was Hoyt's face but not his voice. I tugged hard on the sleeve, if anything I'd head butt him. "Jane, please. Please. Relax." His voice was warm, feminine and familiar. Even as he spoke my name over and over, I began to feel safe. I shook my head as another voice came from the other side.

"I'm giving her a sedative, Dr. Isles. She'll be out in a minute and we can get the doctor."

I blinked. Hoyt's face shifted away and Maura's appeared. My racing heart stopped, and I shook my head. No. No. He was going to get her. I pulled her closer as the drugs began to slide into my blood. She came willingly closer. I could smell her perfume and tears spilled forth as I groaned, trying to tell her to run.

But then the darkness sucked me back in.

Maura

The moment the sedative took effect, I untangled her fingers from my sleeve and stumbled away from the bed. Desperate to catch my breath and settle my heart. The nightmare had ripped Jane out of her coma and brought her to life in the middle of hell's flames. She was trapped in the nightmare. I saw it in the blank look in her eyes.

The nurse laid a hand on my shoulder. "I'm going to go get the doctor. Are you okay, Dr. Isles?" Her voice shook, equally as startled as I was.

I nodded. "Yes. Yes. I'll stay here with her. Please hurry."

The nurse ran out of the room, leaving me with the now peaceful Jane. I moved to the small table next to her bed and took a large drink of water. I'd fallen asleep at Jane's bed and was awoken by the sounds of her machines going off, along with the death grip she had on my hand. My excitement to see she was finally awake after a month, was quickly replaced by fear when I saw her struggling and pulling at her IV ports. No one warned us of this. No one warned Jane could wake up this violently.

"Dr. Isles?" Dr. Carbon's voice entered the room. I turned to him, wiping away tears. "Jane woke up." My voice shook, I cleared my voice to regain composure. "I've never heard of a patient waking up this violently."

"It happens. It's rare, but happens." He rushed to her chart. "We've kept Jane on lower doses of sedatives to get her body back to a normal resting rate. Pull her out of the deep sleep of her coma to see where her brain and lung functions were at." He flipped a few pages. "But this is unusual. I'll want to do a CT scan and an MRI to check her brain activity. Last week it was still low, but normal for the coma." He turned to me.

"She tried to pull out her breathing tube and the IV ports. Can we see if she's breathing on her own? She was groaning like she was fighting it." I looked hopeful that there could be a light in this dark day. "And it looked like she recognized me. Maybe we can lower her sedatives a few more milligrams and see if she wakes up easier on her own?"

Dr. Carbon nodded. "I was thinking the same thing. I'll meet with Jane's mother in a few hours when the sun has come up. I'll go over it with her and see if she agrees." He smiled at me. "It was a good thing you were here. Jenny said Jane calmed down the second she saw you. I think all that talking you do to her is getting in somewhere." He let out a slow breath. "This has been a long journey. Sadly I'll take the nightmare if it means Jane is going to wake up soon."

I cringed at his wording, but agreed. I was more than ready for Jane to wake up. Dr. Carbon patted my shoulder, instructing me to get my own rest and left the room. I glanced at the clock. I had three hours before I had to get ready for work. I moved to the bed, pulling Jane's blankets up and tucking her in. I leaned over kissing her forehead. "I love you. I'll be back later. Please forgive me for what I'm about to do, but I need to know the monster you're fighting so I can help you."

I took one look at her, making sure she was back in a peaceful sleep before I left.

I went home, showered and laid out my outfit for the day before I sat in my office and logged into the Boston Police Department. I only hesitated for a second before typing in Jane Rizzoli and Charles Hoyt. My screen was filled with case files and witness reports from Korsak. I took a moment to steel myself before diving in.

I just hoped Jane could forgive me in time for betraying her privacy.