Episode 2
'C'mon, go go go!'
Two figures leapt over a ledge just as an explosion set off. A short, pudgy girl and a tall, lanky boy, both college-aged, ran alongside each other, the short girl holding a briefcase. Determination was set on each of their faces, before morphing into panic as another explosion set off just to their left and blasted the young man out of the view. The young woman tripped, briefcase breaking her fall, before she sat up and turned around, hearing a sharp whistle.
"Aw, You gotta be f***ing kiddING MEEEEE-!" She exclaimed, screaming as the rockets hit, Flying away and smacking right into the wall on the far side of the field.
* Bang * "OOF."
Scout snorted out a laugh as the girl slide off the camera. "Did-didja see her face?!" he bent over, pounding the sofa arm as he tried to catch his breath.
"Poor bomb always gets ye when ye least expect it." Demo took a drink.
Pyro shook their head. "Muhphmmm-huhdda."
"Oh, yeah, that was freakin' nasty. I felt that in my soul." Scout jabbed a finger at his chest.
"Did someone say soul?" Medic asked as he walked by. His expression quickly turned sour. "Ach. Figure of speech. Never mind…" He looked at the television, a curious expression appear "Hmm. That looks painful. What is it?"
"ColorField Wars. It's like, for really hardcore people." Scout jabbed a finger out the window. "Soldier's trying to mimic the craziest stunts outside."
As soon as Scout said that, they could hear Soldier's war cry from the roof as he leapt off and crashed through the window, swinging on rope. Demo and Scout jumped back into the couch while Pyro applauded.
"See? They did the trick wrong! You are supposed to crash with style! Not face plant! For shame…" Soldier shook his head, climbing off the coffee table.
Engineer stuck his head into the room, frowning. "Solly! How many times did I tell you not to break the window?!"
"Let's see…" Soldier counted in his fingers. "One. Two. Four. Five…" While Soldier was busy counting, Engineer surveyed the damage.
"This is an easy fix… let me just grab the safe and-" Spy decloaked at that moment, spooking the Engineer. He handed the safe to the shorter man. "Don't bother checking. We are running low on funding."
"Spah, I did the calculations." Engie grunted as he opened the safe. "We're perfectly fine-" He paused, seeing only a couple of hundreds. "...Darn." he shut the door.
Engine turned around. "Fellas. Which one of you went in the safe?" he spoke calmly. That was the scariest Engie. None of the others met his eyes.
"My bat broke, ok?" Scout draped himself against the couch arm.
"I needed a drink. It had been 3 days, so dinnae give me that look." Demo explained, holding up a finger.
"Mmuhumphum."
"Blood cannot pay for itself, yknow-"
"Ok! Ok! This is fine." Engineer interrupted. "We just have to find some money. That should be easy enough. Any suggestions?"
Scout raised a hand. "I could get a job?"
Engie rubbed his head. "Son, everyone knows you can't stand still long enough to work in retail."
"You don't know that!" Scout jabbed a finger out. The rest of the team gave him a look of disbelief. Scout pouted in defeat, arms crossed and eyes narrowed. "I don't see any of you chuckleheads comin' up with answers."
Soldier slammed a hand on the coffee table. "You are wrong, son! I came up with one just now!" he jabbed a finger at the TV screen.
"Solly. Ye know you're like a brother to me. But that has to be the craziest thing you could've said." Demo sipped his drink. "I'm in."
"That's fine. I'm not going to degrade myself on television." Spy said, immediately walking away.
"We don't need ya anyways! Teams are only 6 members!" Scout shouted at Spy's retreating form. "But, like. You can't be drinking during the competition. Stupid warning card said so…"
Demo hung his head in disappointment. "Aye. Fair enough."
Pyro poked at his gas mask. "Mmmphmhuh."
"Shit, that's right. No one with breathing shit either." Scout rubbed his neck. "Crap, this harder than I thought..."
Soldier suddenly lifted Scout up, shaking him roughly. "That's quitter talk, maggot! Quitter talk is not allowed anywhere in this base!"
"Ok, Ok, geez I'll stop with the quitter talk if you stop shaking me!" Scout shouted, voice warping due to how hard Soldier was shaking him. Soldier practically dunked him on the couch.
"Augh!...Hey, Soldier's shaking made me remember there's nine of us. So even if Spy's being a prick, we still got six members. Me-" Scout points around. "Soldier, Medic, Engie, Heavy and Sniper."
"...I don't loike what I just walked into." Sniper held his hands up, backing out of the room and past Heavy.
"Don't you DARE abandon this team, Sniper!" Soldier stabbed a finger at Sniper, who froze in his tracks.
"Fellas, this isn't a smart plan. What if some of these teams are better trained?" Engie lifted a hand in explanation.
The entire team stared. Then they all bursted out laughing. Engie wiped a tear from his eye. "I thought I wouldn't be able to say that with a straight face."
"So. We go on game show. To win money. How much?" Heavy asked, arms folded.
Scout tapped his chin. "The host guy said first person to beat the show wins 10 million."
"Mhufuhhmmhmm?" Pyro tilted their head.
"Yeah, but there wasn't a lot of sign ups, so they amped up the prize."
Heavy looked satisfied with the answer at least. Sniper, on the other hand, was starting to leave again. Soldier saw this and lunged, holding the poor bushman above his head. "You are going to learn to be a team player, even if I have to shove it down your throat and into your soul!"
"Bloody hell-! Alright, just put me down, you-AUGH!" Soldier dropped Sniper onto Pyro's legs. "Keep him steady, Pyro. And don't let him escape! Hup Hup Hup!-" Soldier turned on his heel and marched out to the van.
"...Ok, so any of us know where it is?" Scout asked. Everyone turned and stared at him. "..What?"
(Title Card: The Most Dangerous Game(show)!)
"Ladies and Gentlemen, and all citizens across four counties! Coming to you live, it's the top rated show in all of New Mexico...Colorfield Wars! Here's your host, Sho P. Yins!"
Silence. And a cough, but mostly silence
"...Ah, crap, we started way too early. Shit…" the sound of footsteps echoed away.
Within the only bulding on site, a sharply dressed man with gelled brown hair and a cane looked over at two teams, sipping a glass of water. "Hmm. These teens are entertaining, but It need something more… explosive. Maybe if-"
*Thunk*
The host looked over to see a box tipped over and nine men walking by, the one in a gas mask setting the box back up.
The host blinked. "Huh. Perfect!"
The team wandered around the only bulding on sight. Scout, Demo and Pyro were shaking with excitement.
"Ok, you guys listenin'? This? This is like, the 3rd greatest day of my life." Scout exclaimed, waving his hands around. "Look at all this! Unbelievable!"
"Scout. This is a bunch of props." Spy snorted.
"Maybe if ya actually spent time with me, you'd understand that this shit is freaking awesome." Scout poked him. Spy slapped his hand away.
"I still don't see why we can't just hold the bloke at gunpoint. Be much easier that way…" Sniper mused from the back of the group.
"Simple. We don't have bail money either, herr Sniper." Medic patted him on the head. Sniper grumbled in response, reeling away into Soldier.
Soldier wasn't having any crap for disobedient teammates. He pulled Sniper down by the front of his shirt. "If you know what's good for you, you will give your all! No camping! Unless there's a campfire!"
Sniper decided it was best not to grace that with a response.
That was enough for Soldier, so he dropped Sniper, dusting his hands off in pride, then suddenly stood taut.
Sniper looked up to see the host, a sharply dressed man with way too much hair gel.
"Well, hello there." he extended a hand down to Sniper, helping him up. "Fans of the show? That's nice. No one's allowed in here unless you're involved." he took a breath to call for security, then Scout leapt forward, grabbing his arm.
"Nonono, no security! We want in on the show! I ain't taking no for an answer!"
Mr. Yins pushed Scout's arm off of him. He blinked. "Huh. Never had a fan directly say it to me. Usually I give them an application…" he looked at the mercenaries, a smirk growing. "But I like what I see. Which means…" he turned and pointed off screen. "Green Team! You are relieved from competition!"
"Aw, come on!" the chubby girl from before threw her hands up in disbelief.
Host Yins tutted. "Nope. Sorry. You're funny and adorable, but that's about it."
"I drove all the way down here from Virginia, too…" the girl walked off pouting with her equally sad teammates.
Spy, being Spy, was suspicious. Engineer beat him to the question, putting a hand on the Host's shoulder. "Don't ya think that's a little drastic? What's wrong with 3 teams?"
"Insufficient funding." Yins replied quickly.
That seemed to sate Engie as the team followed behind the host, only for him to pull Spy aside.
"Spah. Could you look into that?" Engie whispered.
Spy lightly pushed him away, dusting off his suit. "Fine. I'll see what I can do with that information." he pulled out his disguise kit.
It was at that moment, one of the kids from before had rushed by, knocking Spy over and breaking the device.
Engie turned to scold the college kid, but found him hunched over, like he just lost his lunch, before vomiting into someone else's bag.
Spy stood up, tucking the disguise kit back into his jacket. "How unfortunate… but I'll keep my eyes open."
Engie nodded, before following the host along.
Yins bent down to retrieve a small stack of papers from a box, and turned back around to present the stack to the team.
"I don't have a proper office, so this will have to do. This is a form stating that if you were to… pass… on the show, you wouldn't hold us liable. We do have all the warnings up." He gestured around the set. Sure enough, there were multiple hazardous warnings plastered in corners.
Immediately, the team erupted in laughter. Heavy reached down and patted the host's shoulder. "Was good joke. We have seen many harsh days."
Yins blinked, then laughed quietly. "Ah. So confident, aren't we? Now-" He put a hand to his chin. "I've noticed that there are nine of you. We only do teams of six."
"We worked that out before coming here-" Engie started, until Scout cut in.
"It's gonna be me, him-" he pointed around at Medic, Sniper, Heavy and Soldier. "that guy, this guy, and those other two."
Yins tapped his pen and blinked. "I'll just… label you with numbers." He turned away. "Just go over ro that room, there's some refreshments. I'll call when it's time." he waved them off.
As the team walked away, Engie whispered to Scout, "Really, son?"
"What did you want me t' do? I'm bad with fake names! I woulda called you all Paul or Dwayne!"
Engie just patted the Scout on the back. "Next time, leave the naming to the professionals."
Scout stuck his tongue out, before joining him and the other for drinks.
The man handing out the drinks (which was just water) robotically jerked out his arms, an unnerving grin appearing. "Well, hello! Are you new to the show for today?" he asked, head tilting.
Most of the mercs were unnerved by the strange man's unnatural perkiness, but were polite enough to nod as they passed by.
"...I wonder if he's being paid to smile like that…" Sniper mumbled as he passed by. Suddenly, the man turned to him, pushing the tray towards him, smile growing.
"Here! You look really dry."
Scout bit his tongue trying not to laugh.
"Uhm... Thanks?" Sniper smiled awkwardly, slowly backing away with one of the cups. The man then turned, thrusting out the tray to the rest of the team. "Here! I don't want anyone to get dehydrated."
"Non, i just drank." Spy walked away, unfazed.
Pyro shook his head with a "Mmm-mmph." and walked off. They didn't like water that much, anyways.
"Waaay ahead of ye'." Demo took a long drink as he wobbled away.
The rest of the mercs gave the man a strange look, before Scout pushed him away with one hand and grabbed the tray with the other. "Fiiine!" The man barely even flinched. His smile relaxed and he spun on his heel, walking away.
"Geez...Some people!" Scout muttered loudly as the others took a glass from the tray. Engie slapped his shoulder. "Manners, son." He cleared his throat, and lifted the glass. "Here's to 10 million!"
Clink!
Scout downed the water at almost lightspeed, then gagged. "Eww, what in this?"
Medic took a long look at his glass after taking a sip. "My guess?... it's filtered- Scout, have you been drinking the water from Teufort?"
"...Noooooo?" Scout's eyes looked away. Medic shook his head in disbelief, cackling softly at the absurdity.
A bit later, Spy, Demo and Pyro looked over the fence at the ginormous obstacle course with a bunch of other people.
"This has got to be the stupidest thing Scout has thought of. With a team effort, no less!" Spy muttered, cigarette dangling from his fingertips.
Pyro put a finger to his mask, and leaned in close. "Shhhhhuh!". Spy groaned in irritation, rolling his eyes as he let the cig fall, snuffing it out with the heel of his shoe. "This better be worth it."
Demo waved off Spy's complaints, and leaned over. "Aye! Start the show already, whooooo!" Pyro immediately joined in with cheers as the rest of the crowd started shouting for the show to start, too. Spy face-palmed. Idiots, all of them.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, and all citizens across four counties! FINALLY! Coming to you live! it's the top rated show in all of New Mexico.. ColorField Wars! Here's your host, Sho P. Yins!... Hell yeah, finally got the time right-" the announcer's voice faded with the sound of footsteps
Yins strolled across the field, waving like he was royalty or something. The crowd roared with applause. Spy simply put in earplugs to focus more on this strange man. He didn't know what it was, but Yins seemed... off. And he was damn sure it wasn't the excessive hair gel.
"Gooooood evening, ladies, gents and randos of all ages!" Yins motioned behind him. "Behind me, we've go some veeery impatient players. On the left, our reigning champions, Yellow Team!"
A bunch of college kids were swinging around weapons as they ran to the start with a battle cry. They were all covered in war paint, and had murder etched across their faces.
"...Well! Ahem-And on the left! Our newcomers, Red Team!"
"Hah, where have I heard that before-ow!" Scout rubbed his head where Engie had bopped him. They filed by without any other issue, casting amused glances at the Yellow Team.
"Poor kids. They're barely older than little Scout." Heavy chuckled at the starting line.
"They will be honorably dismissed... By my foot!" Soldier laughed, which prompted the others to laugh.
Yins blinked, before lifting a pistol towards the sky. "When I give the signal. it's gonna be a bloodbath! Let's give it are all out there for all our competitors, and remember to always troll the area!" Nobody noticed some of the competitors go ridged at the reminder, almost as if remembering something, but quickly relaxed.
"Ready?... And... Go!" He fired, and the teams scrambled away. Yellow Team scrambled into the wooden structures while the mercs hid behind a bunch of rocks.
"Ok, fellas... what do we have for a game plan?"
"They're kids, ain't they? We go in with these... things... and destroy them!" Scout twirled the paintball gun, nearly shooting himself in the eye. Red paint splattered on the rock behind a dazed Sniper.
"Yo, Snipes, you good?"
Soldier shook Sniper by the collar. "Are you sleeping with your eyes open?! Impressive, but we don't need that now!"
Sniper's head lolled, before his eyes widened and he shook his head. "Bloody... What're we doin' again?"
"Uhh, trying ta win 10 million? Hello?"
Sniper took off his aviators to rub his eyes. "Oh, right... That." His eyes swirled around. "I'll go with any plan. Even if it ain't m'own."
"I have plan." Heavy rumbled. "Is simple. We do old tactics, but without bullets."
Everyone groaned. Paint just couldn't be as satisfying as bullets.
Scout went charging in, screaming at the top of his lungs as he fired bullets. The Yellows weaved through the paint and fired back with both their own paints and their own screaming.
"Heheheh..." Sniper snickered from his perch behind a rock.
"Sniper! He's coming around the corner, move move move!" Soldier shouted just of screen.
To the other mercs surprise, Sniper just shrugged. "Yeah, sure" He lifted the paintball gun, and fired, catching the poor Scout in the eye.
"OW-What the fuc-AAAAAAHHH!" Scout was pelted with yellow paint as he leapt over the rocks and away from the paint fire. The other mercs watched Scout wriggle on the ground like a dying worm, trying to rub the paint out of his eye. Without a word, Medic dropped a cloth on Scout's head.
While Scout was wiping his eyes (and getting more paint all over his face), Sniper slid down from his perch, only for Soldier to start shaking him."Mutiny! Blasphemy! Saboteur! Why would you shoot one of your own?!"
No one was expecting Sniper to start laughing. "W-what?! Heheheh... He was in my line of sight!" He tittered, squirming out of Soldier's grip and held his sides as he cackled in joy.
Scout rolled over and tried punching him in the stomach. "You freakin'-aaaah!"Only for Sniper grab him and shake him.
"You-you should! Have seen the look on your face! Ahahaha!" Sniper ruffled Scout's head, despite the protests.
"What's gotten into him? I've never seen zhe Sniper so... lively." Medic whispered to Engie. "It's unnerving..."
"Really? That's unnerving, doc?" Engie shook his head, eyes widening. Where did that come from?
Heavy pulled the laughing Sniper away from Scout, who was fixing his hat.
"You! Stop laughing at little Scout. Little Scout already knows he is little man." Heavy scolded loudly. Weird. Heavy was only loud when he had Sasha...
"Oh, i'll stop, mate. I'll stop the moment he stops looking so punchable." For emphasis, Sniper punched Scout just before Scout could try and punch him again. "See? Too punchable!"
Soldier grabbed him again, this time looking very serious instead of his usual confusion. "If I have to crack your skull open and make you cooperate myself, I will!"
"Noted. Now put me down, sarge." Sniper's face twisted into the biggest shit eating grin as he said that, a far cry from the stoic Sniper they knew.
Soldier dropped him, grumbling as he scooped up the discarded gun and leapt over the rock akin to how he rocked-jumped.
"Freakin'... what the hell, Sniper?!" Scout whined. "If I have a freakin' shiner, i'll kill you!"
"Oh, stop whining! You're fine!" Sniper waved him off as he left, shoulder checking Medic as he passed by. "Wuss..."
"Rude today, isn't he?" Medic hissed at Sniper's retreating form.
"Ah, forget him, he's just being a dick..." Scout huffed in annoyance before realizing no on was listening to him. "Whatever! I'm gonna go back in. AT LEAST ONE OF US IS FREAKIN' COOPERATING!" He shouted in Sniper direction
Spy wasn't stupid (infact, he was one of three mercs that had any common sense). He knew there was something wrong. First off, there was only Scout and Soldier running around. Second off, there wasn't any cooperation. No strategy, no planning, just a bunch of unchecked lunatics running around.
Spy decided his fellow teammates were idiots, and focused on the Yellows instead. From what he could tell, the Yellows were bloodthirsty animals. So... not unlike his own team.
But unlike his team, which was basically unchecked plutonium, the Yellows were like attack dogs: as soon as an enemy entered their line of sight, they lunge. Other than that, they, too, did not have a strategy. It was mindless carnage.
And that was very suspicious. But leaving to investigate now wasnt on the table. Not with the host inside the building. Unless?
He took a look around. The fans were still cheering, Pyro and Demo were either cheering or drunk, and there was a clear shot towards the building.
Too convenient. As much as he disliked this, he'd have to wait. He turned back towards the course, waiting for just the right moment...
"Ohmygodohmygodohmygod!" Scout ran. He didn't know where, but as long as it got him away from the landmines, he ain't asking questions.
"What kind of game show uses landmines, anyway-AAAAHHH!" Scout stepped away too late, and was blown into the air, flailing and screaming a totally manly scream.
Engie poked his head out from behind a rock to see an un-armed Yellow jeering at the airborne Scout, gun discarded, and took aim. "Shoulda kept your hands on the gun, boy!"
Suddenly, the Yellow was painted bright red from the side, as a laughing Heavy appeared, arms winding like pinwheels as Medic kept handing him paint bombs.
"Do you like zhe taste of paint?! Ahahahaha!" Medic clutched his stomach as he laughed so hard, he cried.
"What-" A glob of paint smacked Engie in the face. He was so distracted, he got shot by a lucky Yellow. Or so he thought, since the paint was Red.
Sniper giggled like a maniac, even as Soldier marched over to start shaking him again. "What did I tell you about teamwork?!"
"Calm down, mate! It's not like anyone's actually dying! How about to get that stick out of your ass and relax!"
"War! Is! Relaxing! Maggot!" Soldier shook Sniper with each word.
"Would you two act like adults before we-" another glob of paint (this one yellow) hit Engie hard enough to take him to the ground. "Dag-nab-AAAAHHH!"
An onslaught of Yellows descended from the sky (in truth it was probably from behind a boulder), coating the mercs in bright yellow paint.
A buzzer went off, and all players dropped their weapons in alarm.
"Point: Yellows!" The announcer's cheer echoed across the field. The fans went into a delighted frenzy.
Host Yins carefully made his way onto the field, face scrunched in concentration as to not accidentally step in any paint.
"Ahem... Well.. I'll say that was chaotic. Were gonna take a quick commercial break to hose down our competitors, so don't go anywhere!" He surveyed the surroundings and shuddered. "Can somebody get a wet paint sign out here? And a mop? Can't have any stains in the rocks... No, really!"
"What the Fuck was that?!" Scout whined, soaked in hose water that may or may not have lead in it.
"Quit whining, Scout, you sound like a child." Medic gritted his teeth in annoyance.
"It was not Scout's fault!" Soldier whirled around and jabbed a finger against Sniper's nose. "It was this one's fault!"
Sniper sputtered out a laugh. "Oh, please! I'm the one carrying the team, Solly." He poked Soldier in the chest. "You just need to keep up the pace, old man." He grinned nastily.
"You need to learn your place, because i am the leader! And you were the one Saboteuring the match!"
"Will you two stop yelling at each other! God damn, why are you two so annoying?!" Engie butted in, shoving both.
"...You stop yelling..." Soldier muttered, pouting like a child.
"Why am I the problem?! Heavy's the one who gave away our position!" Sniper shoved back.
"You are one who shot teammate!" Heavy stepped forward.
"Our plan was perfect until herr Sniper lost his mind!" Medic snarled behind him.
"Hey, how about you about all shut up?! I was the one gettin' shot at the whole freakin' time!" Scout whined louder.
"Nobody gives a crap, Scout!" Sniper snapped. He folded his arms. "You all play like chickens with their heads cut off!"
"And you're any better, stretch?!"
"Bloody- I'm better than all of you!" THAT sent everyone into a frenzy.
"Tiny Sniper is no match for fire power that is Doctor and I!"
"Yall would be lost without me!"
"Hah! I could lead this team in my sleep!" "Ach, you already do, you simpleton!"
"Is anyone even paying attention to me?!" "NO!"
As the mercs continued arguing, Spy came by with Demo and Pyro in tow. He opened his mouth to say something, only to pause at the sight before him, the others going from simply arguing to shoving each other and fighting like... well, children.
"Aye! What's with all the fighting, lads? I thought you all just went easy on those yellows?" Demo swayed.
"We WOULD'VE if Sniper wasn't a Saboteuring camper!" Soldier jabbed a finger at Sniper.
"Oh, calm down. Don't blame me for you shortcomings!"
Pyro tilted his head. "Hmmmphmmmm..."
Scout scoffed. "Uh, yes it is, Pyro. These bastads have their head up their asses while I'm doin' all the hard work!"
"Running is hard work?!" Medic sputtered out a laugh.
Spy rolled his cigarette between his fingers. Odd. It wasn't unusual that the other mercs could be moronic and, at times, dangerously stupid. But this? They were all acting like children, even the somewhat sensible Engineer and Sniper.
Or at the least, they were just being very immature.
Fine. He'd play mediator. "What. Is the problem." Spy strained out the question, gritting his teeth at the end.
Immediately, all of the mercs pointed at each other. Sniper voiced his complaint instead. "I don't know why your all blaming each other. It's all of your faults, not mine."
The other five then pointed their other hand at Sniper.
Spy turned on his heel to said sniper. "And your problem is?" He gestured, trying jot to roll his eyes.
"Problem? I'm not the problem. They're the problem. It's not my fault they're aren't good enough." Sniper shrugged.
Soldier shoved Spy aside before the frenchman could even say anything. "Aren't good enough?! I could mop the floor with your face AND their faces!"
This did not settle well with the rest, and all six broke out into an unintelligible argument. Spy took a step back, a miffed expression appearing.
"...What jus' happened?" Demo slurred.
"...I don't know." Spy narrowed his eyes. "But I don't have a good feeling..."
Pyro shook his shoulder, pointing behind. "Hmm! Hmmmmmphhh!"
Spy turned around to see Yins approaching, a strange expression etched on. It looked like concern, but looked too artificial, almost as if practiced.
"Hey, hey. I can hear you all from the other side of the field, yknow? If there's any concerns, I don't mind if your not up to the challenge."
The other six mercs almost immediately stopped arguing, turning around with desperate faces.
"Nononono-wait, crap! I can totally handle it!" Scout waved his hands around.
"Are you mocking me?! I can do it! It's just that THIS ONE-" Soldier jabbed a finger at Sniper. "Is a Saboteur!"
"That-That's not even the correct word, schweinhund." Medic slapped his forehead.
Spy narrowed his eyes. Of course. It had something to do with the host.
"Well... I do like your dynamic." He patted Sniper on the shoulder and ruffled Scout's hat despite his protests. "There's some refreshments. Were taking a 30 minute break, it won't hurt."
Spy took this opportunity to slip away, pulling along a confused Pyro and Demo. Time for some 'investigation'.
Spy weaved around some rocks (why are there so many rocks?), and looked around, before pulling Pyro and Demo into a huddle.
"I need a distraction. I don't trust this... Yins. It appears he has some sort of hold on our fellow mercenaries."
"Hfffummmphuhhum?"
"Not that kind of hold." Spy rubbed his nose. "I know this sounds abnormal for me, but I need you to be as loud and destructive as possible."
"And what're you plannin' to do, uh?" Demo swayed. "No, wait I get it. Some spyin'. Fair enough, aye. I dinnae like what he's done to Solly and the others... uh...what did he do?"
Spy flicked his cigarette away. "For now, I don't know. That will change very quickly... stick to the plan, or we all might end up like that."
"Mmhmm." Pyro gave him the 'ok' sign.
"Wait, what?... Aye, forget it. Let's go blow up somov these rocks, Pyro!" Demo slurred as a dangerous grin crossed his face.
Pyro lifted his arms and cheered, and you could see a brief look of fear cross Demo's face before following the cut-loose Pyro.
Spy pinched his nose, shaking it in annoyance. Mon dieu, these buffoons would get him killed. But alas, he was the one who gave them the instructions. He slunk off, heart pouding as he jogged back over to the building. On closer inspection, it was multiple buildings attached to each other. Because of course they are.
Then again, are these things ever easy? Spy hid behind some more weirdly placed rocks (that weren't even the same color as the dirt) and waited for his chance
"WHOOOOO!" Ah, there it is. Some sand blew up in his face as the force of the explosion shook the field.
"HMMMHUHHH, YEEEEEH!"
"You show those rocks whos boss, Pyro!"
"HOLY SHIT, WHO'S BLOWING UP THE ROCKS?! MY BEAUTIFUL ROCKS!" The announcer bounded out of the building with about 5 buckets of water.
Spy quietly slipped inside, pushing a chair against the door. Hopefully, they were stupid enough to fall for such a simple thing. Hmm, now where to start-
Oh.
Spy facepalmed for the tenth time today. The entire room was bathed in bright blue light from a screen. Was it intentionally obvious, or was he losing IQ points?
This had to be a trick. No one was stupid or prideful enough to display something so-
Obvious...
"Clever bastard..." Spy shielded his eyes from the light and scanned the corners of the room. Sure enough, there was something covered in a curtain, just brkow the light. Spy made his way over, and cautiously lifted the curtain.
A door flew open right where the curtain was, and Spy leapt backwards in shock.
"Oh. Hello there." Yins blinked. "I should have known you'd be here. Your loudmouthed friend is... well, that's just stating the obvious, no?" He smiled, his tone dripped in false security.
"You. You did something to them, didn't you?"
"Wow, you're smart. Should have given you some water, too. Alas, I did end up with a very nice consolation prize." Yins strolled passed Spy, knocking against the wall. The wall fell over like a piece of cardboard, and behind it were monitors glowing bright blue.
"The water?..." Oh. How did he not see it? He had considered it already, but it just seemed too science-fiction to even consider it. But how do you prove something as convoluted as mind control?
"It wasn't just water. It was my in cocktail of... 'relaxants'." Yins air-quoted. "Subtle, but very effective, I mean, you don't get this good at hosting if you don't have sheep following your whims, ah?" He bumped the screen with his elbow. "Even now, it's affecting the strongest individuals. Why do you think you were overlooking alllll this?" He twirled around, wiggling his fingers in Spy's face. "Subliminal messaging~! Woooooooo-"
Spy shoved him away. Such a sad, strange man. But at least he was talking.
Unless-
The wall behind him fell open, and he felt hundreds of eyes burning into his back.
"Enjoy the sheep!" Yins gave a sly wave goodbye, before turning and running like hell out of there.
"Oh no-" Spy turned around just as the Yellows advanced, eyes wide and bloodthirsty. Suddenly, a rock smacked the Yellows away, and Pyro appeared, dusting their hands.
"Yhhhuukhh?"
"...Yes." Spy mumbled. "Thank you, Pyro,"
Demo jumped over the rock, panic showing. "Incoming, boyos!" The field rumbled, and all three mercs were made very aware of the rapidly approaching crowd.
Pyro pointed at the advancing crowd. "Shhhwhhkllum?"
"Non. We can't afford it. This is drawing out far too long for my liking." Spy snorted.
Demo scooted over, grabbing both by the collar and charged through the deranged, mind-controlled crowd.
"Getemgetemgetem!" "This is for ruining my favorite show!" "Hey, who the hell are you, anyways?!" "I drove from Virginia for this, you m***********s!" "Stupidstupidstupid-!" "Why do we all have such awful aim?! Just hit them for gods sake!" "Hey, Fuck you man!" "You wanna go, bitch?!" "Fight, fight, fight, fight!"
The three tuck-and-rolled out of the crowd of crazed civilians as they dissolved into fight each other instead.
"...I'm going to kill that damnd host... merde... my suit..." Spy dusted himself off. Pyro started shaking him. Hard. "What now?"
"Take it easy lads, this isn't you!" Demo cautiously approached the six othe mercenaries. But there was something different. It was probably either the frothing or the swirling eyes, to be honest.
"Ah, they can't hear you. They're like... attack dogs." Yins appeared from behind the mind-controlled mercs. "Haha. It's almost funny in a way." The host patted Sniper and Soldier on the head. "It just starts with two, and the rest just follow suit. Well, unless we're counting the help from some drugs, then that's just pretty much it." He shrugged. Then Yins's expression turned malicious. "Sic 'em."
With what sounded like a mix of barking and a battle cry, all 6 charged forward. Spy took one look towards a discarded camera, and sort of grinned as he picked it up
"Huh. You have no idea how long I've been wanting to do this." He stood still, even as Medic swiped at him like a feral cat, before kicking him right in the crotch, nd slamming him int the back with it.
"That. Was for last week's incident." Spy looked over the Medic as he groaned in pain.
"Ow! Solly, heel! Gaaaauugh! Stop biting my leg you bleedin'- AAAAHHH!" Demo shook his leg, trying to get Soldier from chewing his leg off like a rabid dog.
Pyro checked his nails(through their glove?), holding Scout away with one hand. A shadow casted over Pyro, who gulped as Heavy punched him (and Scout) into the air.
Spy weaved and dodged various stray punches and kicks, and tripped Engie (which was admittedly very cathartic) over. He straightened his collar, only to grabbed by the neck by a cackling Sniper.
"Oh, I've been waiting for this!" Sniper grinned, shaking Spy around.
"Ugh. You were even tolerable before this..." Spy muttered, before kicking him in the stomach.
He backed away, right into Demo and Pyro.
"Boyos, this may be it. I can't fight them off, it's as if they're fearless!" Demo nudged both of them behind him.
"Non. They're drugged, aren't they? It's a... simple method, but we have to drench them."
"Wot?/Huudda?"
Spy pinched his nose. "Dump. Water. on them."
"Ohhhh..." Demo and Pyro nodded slowly. A light bulb went off in Demo's head. "I saw sprinklers everywhere! IL door it, but I dinnae if it'll work." Demo grabbed Pyro and Spy again and darted off. "Follow me, ye bastards!" He shouted back at the irate mercenaries.
And they did follow, like wasps to... well, anything.
Demo practically threw Spy and Pyro at the sprinkler system (how convenient), before getting swarmed.
Spy reached over to turn it on, only For Pyro to start hacking at it with an axe. Before Spy could berate the giggling Pyro, water erupted from the sprinklers like pressurized gas.
The entire field was soaked, including all the people feuding and the mercs, who were comically frozen mid-fight.
Sniper shook his head, pushing up his glasses and rubbing his eyes. "Bloody- what the hell?!"
"Auugh! Shit, my head hurts!" Scout gripped his hat and head.
"This is... big joke? I am not amused."
"Whoever did this, I'm getting his head. Un you can't stop me!"
"Can I have it when you are done?!" "No!"
Engie looked bewildered. Then his expression turned serious. "You!" He pointed off in the distance to Yins, who was sitting on a rock. "Let's get 'em, boys!"
Spy was barely aware of eight people blowing by him, and turned around to watch, only to realize that Yins wasn't panicking.
"Stop, you idiots, it's a trap!"
"Aaaaaaand, that's my cue!" Yins hopped up, patting a blue curtains covered object. "Well, this was a bust. But the show will go on! Juuuuust not with these psychos." He waved, and pulled off the curtain. "Ta-ta for now!" He shouted as a bright light enveloped the area.
Spy looked around. Here he was, sitting in a field. He was aware something had happened, but couldn't remember what.
He just knew it had to have been something stupid. And wet, judging from his soaked suit.
"Spy, look what we got! Some idiot left 10 million in some shack! Whateva', it's ours, now!" Scout bragged as he walked by.
"It was probably you, Scout." Spy snarked, but followed him aware the rest of the team stared dreaming about what they were going to waste the money on.
Him? He was going to buy new suits.
But no hair gel. Why?... He honestly didn't know. Hmm. Strange.
Hell figure it out one day. It's already itching at the back of his head, so it must be important.
...Probably.
Episode 2. DONE. I'm sooooooo sorry for making you all wait so long! Happy Halloween!