Ahsoka POV
10/4/6
It was the last month of the year, and the streets were already buzzing with talk of the New Year Fete Week that will happen on the first of the year and last for five days. Two years ago, Rex and I were dating, and we went out and saw fireworks and parades, and had fancy dinners. I remembered having a wonderful time, and Anakin joined us for New Year's night because it was before he and Padme had gotten back together.
I remembered New Year's Night. Anakin was depressed about Padme, and we begged him to come out with us. He reluctantly agreed, then he came up with a cure for his depression, a lot of alcohol. By the end of the night, we all were feeling good as we went from club to club getting New Years specials. Obi-Wan had opted for a quiet evening with Satine, so the rule was, there were no rules, and we all had a ball. Anakin actually smiled, and me and Rex danced on the dance floor until I could not take it anymore.
Anakin had kids now, so he could not go out drinking, but he wanted everyone to come over for a party that night. Shmi, Padme, and Jobal were doing the baking, and we were all going to eat and swap stories. Some of Padme's colleagues were invited, and some of the council were invited so it was supposed to be quite a night.
I did not want to do any of it. I was perfectly happy staying in bed and drinking some soup. Rex had accused me of not doing anything for the past three and a half weeks. So I got in the speeder and went to get some Corellian wine from the store. When I came home, I poured myself a glass and asked Rex, if he wanted any. His eyes widened, and he said no and walked away.
We sold most of the things we bought for the nursery, like the crib, changing table, the pink dresser, the mobile, and other toys. Rex did most of it while I was back at the Jedi Temple. I came home to her room empty, but the rocking chair, an area rug, and a HoloNet stand. I went in and locked the door, then I slid down the wall and just started to cry. Rex banged on the door after three hours, saying this was not healthy, and I needed to come to dinner.
"I thought if you saw me do it, it would make you worse. If we left it like that, it would make you worse. I did not know what to do," he said at dinner.
"You did the right thing," I said, pushing my food around on the plate, I did not know what I was eating. I shoveled some in my mouth, and found that it tasted bland. It was not really bland, Rex was a good cook, I am just tired.
My commlink chirped at 0600 in the morning and I rolled over in bed to answer it. "Hello," I said.
"Ahsoka, it's Padme. I have a break and I wondering if you wanted to go get some lunch?" she asked.
"Lunch? Sure, what time?"
"Um, now it's 12:30."
"What?" I looked at the chronometer, and sure enough it was 12:30. Rex must be with Anakin. "Okay, where do I meet you?"
"There is a cafe in the Senate building."
"I'm on my way." I threw on leggings and a tank top, and headed out to the speeder, hoping Padme was not expecting anything fancy. It was a quick drive from our place to the Senate Building, only twenty minutes. When I got there, I found the cafe, and saw Padme in a beautiful purple dress with her hair done up. "I'm underdressed."
"Nonsense," she said and stood up to hug me.
We sat down and the waitress droid came to take our order.
"They have good sandwiches here," said Padme.
"Okay, I will have a water and Manaan Sliders," I said.
"And I will have some water and a Corrausant Slider," said Padme.
The droid nodded and ran off into the kitchen to place our order. We sat in silence for a few minutes , just looking at the bustling scene around Coruscant.
"So why did you want to have lunch?" I asked.
"Well, honestly. I am worried and I wondered if we could talk, or I could talk and you could listen."
I growled. "Anakin put you up to this?"
"Ani told me what happened, but no, he has no clue that I am doing this." She took a deep breath. "Honey, I named my kids with my dying breath. I did not get to hold them, see them grow, hear them talk. Someone else raised my babies, and I can not do anything about it. Now I have Jinn and Ashla, and I love them dearly. But I will never get Luke and Leia back and that kills me. It kills Anakin. I am not saying this to make you feel better, or tell you it's not that horrible, because it is. But Rex and Anakin talk, and honey, please do not feel as if you're alone."
"What I am going to say is going to come across as a bitch but that's not what I man. You and Anakin went through hell. I can't imagine going a week without seeing Rex, and y'all went thirty plus years. Really, to survive that is amazing. But, you are going to hug Luke and Leia when they die. You can swap stories, make cookies, go on adventures. Sure they will be regenerated in their thirties, but that is a guarantee. But me, I will never see my baby, ever." I started to sob by the end of it.
Padme put her arm around me, "That is not being a bitch, that is opening up, which is what we need you to do. If Anakin cries, screams, throws things, I know we are fine. Its when he bottles everything, we get in trouble. You have an army behind you, Ahsoka. You're not alone." She kissed me on the head, and held me tight as I cried.