"I want to show you something."

His sudden voice startled her, getting her out of balance and making her miss the basket. Instead of turning around, she took a few steps forward, caught the ball and clutched it between her elbow and hip.

The past weeks she had gotten back to her former hobbies; playing basketball and guitar. Maddox gave her everything she asked for, he genuinely didn't want her to get bored or being consumed by grief.

She however felt lonely. She wasn't exactly in the mood to play basketball with Maddox – in fact she had never seen him hold a ball, she didn't think he was talented in sports – but the loneliness made her sad as well. Kip was still locked up in one of the rooms, although it was on her orders now. Maddox had even offered to give him a little more freedom; it had been Dana who had shaken her head, claiming that she found it too hard to be with him in the same room after their sexual encounters – she had told Maddox that they both felt awkward around each other and that their intimacy had destroyed their friendship. Of course that wasn't the real reason, she was scared to death that Maddox would discover that there were feelings in play. By now they had loved each other a couple of times, so the uneasiness had slipped away. Sometimes they had no sex at all; they would just lie in each other's arms or talk quietly. Maddox would never know.

Shaking off the thoughts, she looked at Maddox. Like most times, his face was blank and without saying anything she walked with him. A nasty feeling settled in her stomach as he opened the door to the video room. He pointed to a chair and Dana sat down. She swallowed. It had been a while since she had been here; since she had told Maddox that she was happy that Juice moved on there hadn't been much satisfaction in forcing her to watch the videos.

This time the sound was on. She saw Juice entering his bedroom, stumbling, tripping over his feet and falling on the bed. Lotte followed him, tears gliding down her cheeks.

"I'm not in the mood for your bullshit right now," he snapped.

"You never are!" The girl yelled back. "And it's not bullshit! You have been drunk non stop the past days. And now you are cheating on me too and you don't even care?!"

"I was already cheating on someone," he grunted. "With you."

"That's not the same! Dana and you are separated for more than a year, while we had just agreed to start a real relationship." She sat down next to him. "Is that the reason you cheated on me? Because you feel guilty about us? Were you trying to prove yourself that you have no feelings for me?"

He jumped up. Goose bumps spread across her arms, something cold descended in her stomach. "Go away with that whore face of yours! I was just dying for a good fuck. Stop acting like a fucking shrink. I don't give a shit about you. That's the reason I banged someone else."

"I don't believe that..."

Suddenly he had grabbed a handful of her hair, yanking her head backwards. "What is there not to believe? You think I love you?" Snorting disdainfully, he tore at her hair. "You think I would do this if I'd loved you?" He pushed her backwards so she fell off the bed, her head hitting the wall.

He let out a hollow laugh.

Dana bent her head. A shiver crept down her spine. He sounded so... not like Juice. She barely recognized the man in the video. When she heard the girl scream, she was forced to look up. Bile crept up as she watched how Juice attacked the girl until she laid still on the ground. Then he went to bed, as if his violence was the most normal thing in the world.

Tears rolled down Dana's cheeks. "Why do you want me to watch this?" she whispered.

"I know you think that I'm a monster. But do you really think he is any better? Look what he did. This is the man you love. Someone who assaults his girl. I know that I'm not perfect, and that I make mistakes – a lot. But I would never have done this to you."

"No you murdered my child," she answered through gritted teeth. "It had been more humane to break my bones one by one." With a sigh she turned towards Maddox. "Why do you keep harassing me with these videos? How can I ever move past him if you keep confronting me with my feelings for Juice? I will never hate him, Maddox. You have to accept that, like I accept that I will never be with him again. Do you want to repair our relationship? Then stop terrorizing me with images of Juice. You have to give me the chance to move on – and the same goes for him. When I know that he's happy, it will be easier for me to let go of him, so I can concentrate on our own family."

Pensively, Maddox studied her face. She felt that he was rational now and that he was seriously considering her words. "Maybe you're right."

Dana nodded slowly. "Let me talk to him one more time, Maddox. So we can find closure. So I can tell him that he doesn't need to feel ashamed for his feelings for another woman, for the girl is right – those feelings are the reason that he drinks so much, because he believes he's betraying me."

"He is betraying you."

"No Maddox," she sighed. "I'm no longer his. I'm yours, remember? You know that, I know that, and he does too. He has to move on, he has to build something with that girl for I can see that she truly cares about him, despite the orders you give her. I just want him to get on with his life, that he will make peace with the fact that I will never come back to him. Just allow me one more phone call and leave him alone."

Her words must have touched him, for half an hour later she sat on the beach, in her own, with the phone and the number Maddox had given her. She had sworn that she would tell him nothing about the cameras and Lotte's role, and Dana didn't plan to betray his trust, knowing the consequences would be unforeseeable.

Nervously she pressed the numbers that were on the note. She didn't exactly know what she wanted to say to him, somehow she just hoped to give him some peace. With trembling fingers she pressed the green icon and waited.

"Yeah?" she heard after a few seconds.

The moment she heard his voice, tears filled her eyes. Taking a deep breath, she tried to man up. This was her only chance.

"Hello?"

She swallowed, although her throat felt dry. "Hey baby. It's me."

He gasped for breath, she imagined how he clutched the phone against his ear. "Dane?"

"Yes, it's me baby." She took a deep breath. "Maddox said I behaved well the past weeks and he gave me permission to call you. He even trusts me enough to leave me alone with the phone."

"You mean... that nobody is listening in?" His voice sounded quiet, fragile and she squeezed her eyes.

"I'm alone. I'm sitting on the beach. Where uh, where are you?" By asking simple questions, she hoped to get a conversation going, without their emotions getting the best of them, resulting in sobs alone.

"I uh... I live outside Charming for a while. For two weeks now."

Dana frowned, realizing that Maddox had shown her old videos since she didn't believe that Juice was lying now. "Oh... why's that?"

"Uhm..." He heaved a sigh. "I couldn't keep away from the alcohol, most days I was just drunk. So Kozik sent me to this place – I'm in rehab now. Got lots of appointments with therapists and shit. I'm not... at my worst now."

A tear glided down her cheek, which she wiped away with her thumb. "I'm proud of you," she said. "That you took that step. That had to be hard. You uh – you got support? Apart from Koz?"

Nervously, she held her breath. Would he be honest?

"There uh... there's a girl I met in the clubhouse and we became friends a few months ago." His voice sounded shaky, and then he started to cry. "I slept with her. I'm so sorry Dane. I tried to be faithful but..."

"I don't mind," she answered in a tiny voice. Talking was a lot harder now she had heard him cry. "I don't know if I will ever leave this place, Juice, but I don't want you to wait for me. If you have feelings for another girl I understand, I even support it. Please don't feel guilty about it. We had a great time together, you and I. I know what we have was something special. But we're not together anymore. You have to move on, you have to try to become happy. That's – that's all I want." A tear itched her cheek and she wrapped her arms around herself. "There's a guard here who's here against his will," she lied. "We became friends too and I know that I have feelings for him. It's nothing compared to what I feel for you, but especially in this horrible time we have to grab the tiniest bit of happiness baby. I really don't blame you for building a life with another girl. Just consider it as a way to stand up to Maddox. He wants you to wither away, to no longer being able to lead a normal life. Prove him the opposite."

He was silent for a while. His heavy breathing told her that he was close to tears again. "I love you."

She smiled. "I love you too, Juan. I miss you. But I'm so happy with the memories I have."

He sighed softly. "I hate myself. I've done horrible things."

"Don't think about them, baby. What's done is done. You can't change the past. Try to find some good energy. What's the best memory you have about us?"

He sobbed quietly. "There are so many. The first time when you were at my house, when you fell asleep while leaning against me, when we were sitting in front of the PlayStation... When I shot myself, you remember that?"

"Impossible to forget." She chuckled quietly. "Maybe we never would have been a couple if you hadn't blown up half of your ass. It was pity persuading me to go on that date with you."

She heard him laugh softly, which ended in a sob. "Our date at the drive in cinema. Where you refused to kiss me before you had finished your pizza."

"And where you refused to tell me your real name before you had kissed me." Her thumb stroked the ring finger where she had worn her engagement ring. "The best memory I have... well you proposing to me in a diaper, of course. Or that time that we had sex on the beach and lost our clothes. When you had to rob an old lady to make me wear that ugly flower dress."

Her heart ached when he chuckled. "I will never forget the look on her face when she found me naked at her front door." He let out a shaky sigh. "I love you so much. All those things... I'm sure they wouldn't have happened with someone else."

"You're right," she admitted with a watery smile. "Only the two of us are that clumsy."

"Yeah... We were perfect together."

She pressed her lips together when he said that in the past tense. It hurt, but at the same time there was resignation in it. It was okay.

"How are things over there?" he asked after a while.

"Maddox... is changing. He lost it when Kip and I tried to escape and he did the most horrible thing he could have done, but I believe he truly regrets it. He's trying really hard to make me feel comfortable."

Those were half-truths, but she didn't care. As long as he believed it.

"He sent me her body," Juice muttered. "She was so small... She has a beautiful little white grave and a memory stone. I... I often visit her."

Dana clenched her hands to fist. A scorching pain flamed through her body and in vain she tried to swallow the tears. She had known that Maddox would send him Tabitha's body, but hearing him talk about it broke her heart.

"I'm relieved to hear that she has a resting place," she said softly. "And that you can visit her." She rubbed her eyes.

"You uh... you think he'll allow you to call me more often?" he asked, almost inaudible. "It feels so good to finally hear your voice again."

She swallowed. Talking to him was both a torment and a blessing. "I'm afraid that more calls will change his mood. We have to move on, Juice. The both of us. The past year was horrible, for you and me both. But you have to be strong now, you have to deal with your loss. Your own happiness is your strongest weapon."

"You are so strong," he said between two sobs. "I don't know how you do it."

"I refuse to give him more power over me. Physically he can do whatever he wants with me, but you are the one my heart is beating for and he will never break my willpower. Every time I can bring myself to smile, it feels like a little victory. You have to learn to look at life in that way too baby. Don't feel guilty because you're still able to smile; consider it as a victory. And if you dare to move on with your life, if you dare to love someone again, to build a future... then that's the biggest victory."

She heard him swallow. Her eyes were burning – she felt that it was better to end the conversation before her emotions became too strong, making her words lose their strength.

"We've never been able to say a proper goodbye. So this is our goodbye, my dearest Juice. I might be able to escape one day, but don't wait for me. Collect victories, get your life together. Find your happiness and know that you will always be in my heart, wherever I am, with whoever I am."

"You'll always be in my heart and mind too," he whispered. "Thank you for being such a beautiful person. You have no idea how much this strengthens me. I will try to become a better man. I will try to be happy again."

"I'm relieved to hear that baby. You deserve to be happy. Our time together was wonderful and I cherish the memories, but our story has come to an end now. Maybe it was a short story, but it was a beautiful one that I will always wear close to my heart." She heard him cry and bent her head.

"I wish I could give you beautiful words like these too. But – but all I can tell you is that I miss you terribly and that I love you more than you can ever understand."

"It's okay baby. Your love is all that matters to me. You're such a wonderful person, please make another girl happy with your love. It's a waste to bury it deep inside you."

A heavy silence fell, one that made her heart beat painfully.

"Thank you," he whispered in the end. "For this call. Not a single therapy can compete with everything you just said to me."

She smiled sadly. "And that's like a bandage around my own heart too. Be well, darling. I love you. My heart is forever yours."

His breathing changed; coming out in panicking little jolts now. She felt that he was close to begging her not to hang up, but all he muttered was: "I love you too. I always will."

Then she ended the call. Tears rolled down her cheeks as she stood up and returned to Maddox. She felt no shame for the pain she was feeling.

"Thank you," she said quietly as she gave him the phone. "We both needed this to make peace with the situation."

His dark eyes rested on hers for a moment, then he nodded in silence and kissed her forehead.