Lotte wasn't fast asleep.

Since the moment Jax had called, she felt restless. She hadn't dared to ask too much questions, afraid that Juice saw through her. Now she however was kept in the dark about the things the men had discovered. She had considered to call Maddox to tell him they were on something, but she hadn't dared to; too afraid that Juice would catch her again.

As she heard a disturbance in the living room, she left the bed. Was there a burglar? Had Maddox already discovered that Juice was on something, taking matters to his own hands? Or was this another of Juice's rages? The last one however was months ago, and she hadn't seen him drink alcohol today.

She just entered the hallway when she bumped into him. His eyes were smoldering, the lines of his face so tensed it looked creepy. He grabbed her throat and slammed her head against the wall. Pain flamed through her shoulders and head as she hit the stone. Tears slipped down her cheeks. This time it was no drunken rage; this time he knew really well what he was doing.

He knew.

He knew that she had been spying for Maddox.

"You filthy backstabbing whore!" His fists rained down on her arms, which she had crossed in front of her face to protect herself. She sank on the ground, flinched and cried. He didn't care about her tears. He grabbed her hair and yanked back her head. "I'm pouring my heart out to you for months and you told all my shit to that fucker? You enjoyed seeing my pain, hmm?"

"I had no choice!" she sobbed. "I had no choice! He has my sister!"

"Bullshit. We could have found a way to get Dana and your sister back. Fuck it, if you had told us months ago that Maddox was trading girls we might have found her by now!" His fingers intertwined with her hair again and he slammed her head against the wall.

"I'm sorry," she cried. "I didn't dare to take the risk! Every time he heard nothing from me, he showed me videos where multiple men were raping my little sister! She's only fifteen!"

For a moment Juice's grasp weakened. For a moment she thought to see compassion in his eyes. Lotte didn't try to crawl away from him, nor did she try to escape. Instead, she started talking.

"I love you, Juice. That was never an act."

"Right," he huffed. His fingers clenched into a fist again, but he didn't hit her. Instead, he sat down on the ground, leaning against the opposite wall. The look in his eyes was ice cold. The love he had shown her earlier today completely vanished. "Tell me everything."

Lotte took a few deep breaths and nodded. "My sister had a boyfriend, they were dating for a few weeks. She was thirteen back then, and he was seven years older. My parents didn't approve. It caused a lot of stress at home and in the end she ran away with him. She never came back. Months later I entered my apartment and a complete stranger was sitting there on the couch, waiting for me. He told me to follow his instructions if I ever wanted to see my sister again. If not, he would keep renting her out, eventually selling her to a rich guy somewhere far away. I had no choice. I really had no choice." She wiped her eyes. "I had to become your... new whore, he said. He never told me why, I only found that out when you told me about Dana. Now and then he called me to hear how you were doing. I never understood what he was looking for, what he really thought to gain from this." She doubted as she thought about the cameras, but she didn't dare to admit how much she had violated his privacy. He might conclude that Maddox had used the images of them having sex to torment Dana and she was afraid that he would lose his mind again.

"In fact, I didn't do that much," she whispered. "I fell in love with you, I really did Juice. I was always afraid to receive the instruction to kill you in your sleep. I know I could never do that."

He snorted disdainfully. "If you did all this for your sister, you would have killed me too." He was silent for a while, then he frowned. "Your boyfriend who died in a car crash. Does he even exist?"

She bent her head. Her lips were trembling. "No. But I – I knew how you felt nevertheless. I was going through exactly the same shit as you, Juice! Only did I receive instructions to get my sister back. Wouldn't you have done the same if you had been in my shoes?"

"I would have fought that beast together. Like I thought we were. But you betrayed me. Damn it Lotte, for fuck's sake, why didn't you tell me? How can I ever trust a single word from you again? You might be lying now too!" The muscles in his arms tensed, he squeezed his eyes. "It wasn't jealousy that made you delete Dana's voicemail message, huh? Did you – did you call him when you found out they were trying to escape?!"

Lotte stared at the ground. There was no point in denying it; the guilt was already surrounding her like a halo. "Yes, I called him."

A few dead silent seconds passed by. Then Juice jumped up, grabbed a hand full of her hair and pulled her on her feet. He grabbed her chin. "You are the reason she couldn't escape! You are the reason my daughter is dead!" His breathing fell heavier, tears were shining in his eyes. He blinked them away, the sadness was quickly replaced by anger.

He's going to kill me.

She had no idea how she could defend her action – she didn't even know what had happened that night. Maybe they had been caught before she had called Maddox – and maybe they had indeed escaped if she hadn't informed him.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I wanted to tell you the truth so many times, but I was too scared. Maddox would know. He always knows." She sobbed quietly. "I love you Juice. I really do."

"Stop lying to me!" he snapped. "You came to me like a fucking whore, you played me, you used me..." His hand moved to her throat and clenched around it. Anxiously, she looked into his eyes. There was nothing but a pitch black hatred.

He's going to kill me. He's really going to kill me.

And her sister would have no future, she would be condemned to the worst imaginable hell for the rest of her life.

"I'm pregnant," she blurted out.

It was a low blow – it was a lie, but it was the only thing she could think of to save herself.

"Yeah?" he huffed. "Well, a child from a whore like you and a sick, twisted asshole like me will never be happy to be alive." For a moment he held her glance, then he moved his face closer. "And it's another fucking lie, huh? Even now you're still lying to me, you crazy lying bitch." His fingers squeezed, she could no longer breathe. "And using a baby as an excuse to live while my own child was brutally murdered... that's fucking sick." He spitted into her face. "You are fucking sick."

Lotte went into respiration distress. She tried to gasp for air, was pulling on his hands around her neck. Her eyes were protruding, her lips forming words he couldn't hear. I can't breathe. I can't breathe.

She started to sweat. All she could see, where his hateful eyes; the determination in them, the determination to squeeze the life out of her. Her throat was burning, like he was jamming daggers in it. She tried to punch him, kick him. Black spots danced before her eyes. Her arms started to feel heavy, her legs collapsed. She fell. A knee in her stomach pinned her to the ground, with his hands he was still strangling her. Reflexively she tried to kick him away from her, but she didn't even know if her legs were moving at all. Her chest cramped, she felt shaky and lightheaded.

All lights went out. Everything became dark.

The last thing she heard, was a heartbreaking sobbing. Whether it was Juice who realized what he had done, Mikey who had been attracted by the noise or that she was catching a glimpse of the misery that was awaiting her litter sister; she would never know.