My legs are squared and my shoulder is firm and resolute as I stare into Loki's eyes, trying to find the words that will explain why I want to speak with her.
Her eyes narrow on my dress that looks kind of silly on me, I know; it's innocent and lighthearted, isn't good for fighting in the least, and almost makes me seem quietly weak. I hate it, but it's all that I know to wear even though it's brand new; the girl at the shop complimented me, but now I can't believe it anymore as I look into my goddess's eyes.
"Aiz, what is it that you want to say?" Her eyes are trained on me, the way that they always are, as if only now she can afford to let her attention pivot to only one person in the world.
"I," My breath catches in my throat for half a second, I ignore it, and press on, "am going on a date today." I think it's a date as it cannot be anything else, but I don't know of who goes on a four person date like this, and that alone makes me wonder if it's the right word at all.
"No, you're not." Loki suddenly looks much older than I've ever seen her like finally her familia or her sword princess have just worn her out for good.
"I must." My breath hitches, but I've never been a quitter even under the steely eyes of my goddess, "I promised him."
"Who is he?" Loki stands tall, unafraid of anything I have to say; she was never made to be a quitter either.
"Bell Cranel." I keep my head up, my eyes are hard and unrelenting.
"The level one adventurer? The frightened bunny rabbit that is clearly in love with his goddess?" The words are spoken harshly, and I feel the reminder that Bell can't be with me for we are from two different familias.
"Yes." I can't deny the last statement, the fact that he admitted that he was also seeing his goddess suddenly stings even though I never knew it could before; why now when I'm standing in front of my goddess trying to leave to see him?
"Aiz, you know what you can't have." Loki's eyes find my own again, and I wonder why she's so stubborn now and yet so worn though she's made known enough to me how she sees me, how much she cares about me.
"Loki." My voice is flat; I know what I wan't even though the words often fail me, and I can't quite find the words to explain them.
Something in her seems to snap finally at just the sound of her name; I don't know why she's suddenly reaching out for me or why she wraps me in her arms.
Loki tightens her hold on me before she lets go and watches me, just watches me, before finally she finds the words to explain this bizarre initiation of physical contact.
"Take me with you." It's a gentle, quiet command, and if I were someone else perhaps I'd know where it came from, but for now, I have no idea why she longs for this; isn't it supposed to hurt or something of the sort and not fester this strange branch of confidence that I can see in the way she stands though her eyes look different. I don't get why her eyes look old and wise, but her posture implies utmost confidence.
"Why?" It's flat, but it's all that I know to say.
"I don't think that I can give you up just yet." Her eyes look past me which irks me in some way, and suddenly she's staring straight at me, "I want to know this boy better that makes you feel so strongly for him."
The words don't feel right to me, but my throat has dried up, and I can't quite find the words to counter her anyway.
"Okay." I'm not sure if it's the right answer or how Bell will feel to see another goddess there, but I don't know what else to do when my goddess suddenly stares at me as if she's much older than she normally acts and as if she's losing everything in some barren place.
I watch the way that she slowly smiles and the way that her eyes find me and watch me with the most serene look on her face, and I still can't quite believe that my goddess went from upset to strangely happy.
What's going on inside Loki's head, because I can't quite grasp this sudden change of pace?