Of Corpse There are Monsters

Groose and company tell campfire stories and find the road isn't going to be as boring as expected.

The day was wearing into a cheerful autumn late afternoon as Linkle, Groose, and Cawlin made their way back down the trail. Mija's response to Linkle asking what she'd be able to use her magic for was a frustrating and vague, "You'll see!" Groose was happy that come monster saliva, evil jerks, bankruptcy, and insane compatriots; at least his hair would stay intact. Upon interrogation of Linkle and Cawlin, Groose had swiftly came to the conclusion that Linkle was not to be trusted with directions.

The signs once again were clear: It was up to Groose to take charge.

Cawlin had no objections. The guy was eager to please people and acted the part of a natural born customer service agent. Strich was a longtime friend/subordinate and would follow Groose's lead. Linkle didn't mean to be rebellious but had a tendency to wander off. Many Gerudo were not used to taking orders from men, but it wasn't this. It was a natural desire to explore nook and cranny she could find. She would have probably checked cracked walls for hidden dungeons if she had bombs. Groose took the lead of the walking group. Linkle was in the middle of the group and Cawlin brought up the rear. If he was in the back, others would find any Like-Likes in the road before he would. It was much faster than waiting for him to keep poking the ground in the same manner as he'd done on the road to the Great Fairy spring. While all parties wanted to get this journey over with it was a nice sunny day, and so conversation happened as they went on the western road.

Small talk began as they left town with horses. This is almost inevitable with any classic adventuring party out to adventure and there were no Sheikah slates to text on for antisociality aids. Plus Groose had a few things to tell these two strangers which he was escorting. Chat went from Groose outlining rules to Cawlin asking about what the agreement would be in terms of travel expenses. That conversation with Cawlin gave Groose a migraine and occupied the majority of the afternoon. From there talk meandered into how long it would take for Strich to catch up. Groose had left a message for Strich but worried the Rito would stop to check on his bugs again.

Sunset was fast approaching when they heard a voice from the sky.

"HEY! You guys wait for me!"

Groose instantly recognized his friend's voice and waved. It appeared the message had been properly passed on. Groose said, "Hey, you caught up! You didn't stop to check on your bug sanctuary again, did you?"

"I really wanted to, but I was told you left without me. That girl I hired is weird but she understands bugs." Strich said.

"Bug sanctuary? I'm more of a cucco fan myself." Linkle said. "Anyway, we were making travel plans!"

Strich claimed dibs on any bugs they would find. He wanted to make sure that bugs were taken alive if possible. Everyone nodded politely for a bit as he expounded on the proper care of rhino beetles. While he waxed lyrical on the fragile beauty of darner wings, the attention of his traveling companions turned to other matters.

"Sorry we got out of town so late. Should we camp out in the wild or do you think we'll make the stables before midnight?" Cawlin asked while takin in the fading sunlight. There was a new stable not too far past the falls on this road. The group had been so late leaving town that instead of reaching it well before sundown, it would be dark by the time they would reach the destination.

"It's not much further to go before we get a good break spot. Strich, you take first watch tonight. You two other guys are in charge of dinner." Groose still did not believe the fortune teller and though they seemed harmless, the two strangers seemed to Groose to lack common sense. He did not know these people and there was a faint possibility they were out to rob people no matter how innocent they seemed. Strich's words finally moved away from the topic of Farore's chosen creatures.

"I heard someone in town talking about the monsters appearing. Word came in, Yiga caused it. Some rancher a couple weeks ago saw them in the ranch where the like-likes first appeared." Everyone tensed up unconsciously. "The Like-Likes dissolve into smoke when killed, just like monsters during the Century of the Calamity. If they're on the move, they could be anywhere. We'll want to really be quiet about what we're doing. Especially if you're actually the Hero, Linkle."

"Of course it would be the Yiga clan. They're evil jerks, the lot of them," Linkle said fiercely. "Why would they be stupid enough to work for a demon that wants to burn Hyrule to the ground anyway? I don't know a single person who hasn't had a friend or family member attacked by them."

Strich said, "Who knows why? We nearly got killed by them when we were new recruits..."

"That's- I'm sorry. That's awful." Cawlin said glumly. "What happened?"

"We were north of the Great Forest. A little over six years ago." Strich said "Groose almost died." Linkle and Cawlin were very much on the edge of their saddles with anticipation. They wanted to hear this story.

Groose compromised between storytime and practicality. "You wouldn't think it but the great Groose used to want to be a knight to sweep a future girlfriend off her feet. I realized knighthood was a bit more important after that attack... Here's a good spot to camp. Cawlin, you get the fire started."

"Okay, Mister Guard!" he replied with forced cheer. Everyone stared as Cawlin pulled a flint and firewood out of the little leather pouch on his belt.

Groose was first to talk. "What, how?! Is that an Adventurer's Pouch!? Where did you get one of those?!" Those pouches were in high demand no matter where you went. The best ones were enchanted with Korok magic and could even carry larger objects.

"It was a gift from Grandpa when he took me in. Long story," Cawlin said. "I don't have a cooking pot, sorry. I'm glad you two managed to survive that attack. It must have been scary."

"It actually helped Groose become a better person. He's even more awesome now." Strich said. Linkle and Cawlin tilted their heads at fifteen degree angles in unison. Strich scratched his beak. "Well, uh, Groose used to not be as nice to people."

"Yeah, I used to be kind of mean to other kids before that attack. It's kind of a long story."

Groose was not going to get out of story time that easily. Linkle and Cawlin both tilted their heads.

"I'm all ears," Linkle said

"Me too."

"Well," Groose decided to welcome a chance for people to appreciate good storytelling and maybe enlighten some people. "It was a fairly normal looking evening. We learned some sword stuff from Captain Ashei that night and we were trying to sleep when I heard a scream. I was all ready to go show them who's boss but instead of playing it safe and running like the trainer said to, I ran right at a big Yiga. He just did this weird thing with the ground and made it explode! I was sent flying into a tent and got stuck in the ropes! I really thought I was going to die when this footsoldier comes at me." There were gasps.

"I just froze. I-I couldn't do anything and it was the worst feeling. The Yiga though, it was hard to tell since things were kind of dark but I think he was a kid my age."

"Was it a new initiate?" Linkle asked. It was said that before teaching children Shadow Arts, Yiga initiated children with a blood sacrifice to Ganon. "Did he try to slit your throat?"

"No. He pretended to slit my throat. Told me to play dead for a bit." Linkle's jaw dropped. Cawlin had frozen in what was probably rapt attention.

Groose kept going. "I think he was shaking as much as I was. The guy sounded scared too, maybe as scared as me! I didn't understand at first. It broke my brain." All Yiga were evil and would follow Ganon mindlessly, so he thought. It really just did not match what Groose knew of the world at the time.

Strich impaled a mushroom on a stick as he said, "We thought he was dead for sure. Lindson kept poking him with stuff to see if he was a Poe." It was a time-honored method of testing to see if someone was a ghost. As Shakespeare had Marcellus use the poke-guy-to-see-if-solid method, so too had Hyruleans established the effectiveness of such methods.

"That Yiga kid saved me. If he hadn't pretended to kill me, one of the others would have stabbed me. After I had time to process it, I started thinking more about other people. How maybe some people aren't as bad as they look."

A thoughtful air lingered throughout dinner.

The only reason they didn't just eat in silence the whole time was Linkle would not be kept down for long. "I bet that guy changed his evil ways and found a way out."

"I wouldn't count on it. Yiga probably hate traitors as much as they hate the Royal Family."

"There wouldn't be many places to run, especially for a scared little kid, but he probably found a way." Cawlin said as he roasted Silent Shrooms on the fire. Nobody except Linkle slept well that night and Groose had zero trouble staying awake during his watch. Dawn could not come soon enough. He found his pompadour needed no maintenance even after sleeping on the ground. Groose watched the sun rise and prayed to the Goddesses to keep his home safe until he could get back. Breakfast was apples taken off a nearby tree.

Linkle happily oiled her crossbow and sharpened her scimitar as part of her morning routine. She'd been allowed to wake up on her own on account of the unsheathed weaponry she clutched in her sleep. No one wanted to startle the girl which used a scimitar and loaded crossbow in the same manner younger children used stuffed toys. She'd been awakened peacefully by the smell of roast apple.

Strich and Groose took turns waking the other up to watch. Preening his mussed up feathers came second to the really important business of the morning. Strich hunted bugs. He was soon joined by Cawlin. Cawlin had adopted a similar disregard to morning hair care and the black tangle might possibly have been truly intolerable for Groose had it not been mostly concealed under the purple hood.

Groose watched as Cawlin went with Strich. He didn't think the guy cared about bugs.

Cawlin didn't care about bugs except for selling and elixir-making. There was another purpose to the morning walk. While Strich peered under random rocks, Cawlin looked in some seemingly random places. Much time was also spent on poking the ground when advancing. He paid special attention to out of place plants. He turned over every single rock in a circle of rocks and ignored a good sized cluster which had been nearer. Strich admired the effort thrown in the search but felt one should be more thorough when he was looking for bugs.

Groose made a mark on the map and reviewed plans even though the plans were simplicity itself. It was simple: rent horses from the stable, ride stable to stable until they reached the woods, see if Cawlin was being honest about the woods and Linkle was not delusional. It should only be three days. It would be only three days if Strich and the other guy were not taking so darn long to return. Groose sighed. Leadership was a lot of work, even for a natural like himself.

Both Linkle and Groose immediately reached for weaponry when they heard Cawlin's yelp.

When Groose arrived, sword and pompadour set for heroics, the fighting was already underway. Cawlin was trying to run with his hand in the pouch. Strich had dropped his spear in favor of firing arrows down from the treetops on the four Bokoblin. Linkle was thrilled to get to do something heroic, even if it was something so simple as fighting Bokoblins. With the line of sight and how close enemy movements were following the fleeing guy, it was likely that friendly fire would be an issue. Linkle opted for using her blade to run in and assist Cawlin.

As Groose's two-handed weapon swing went, it was a good one. Normally the time it took to swing around such a weapon made it impractical against faster enemies. Strich and Linkle were more than capable of keeping enemies stunned until the claymore removed monsters from this mortal coil.

Monsters had all but vanished from Hyrule when the Blood Moon was no no longer reviving them, but they hadn't entirely left. Instead of dissolving into dark magic smoke, the dead bodies were bound by the laws of physics due to not being magically reconstructed. The dead body of the bokoblin got stuck on Groose's claymore and he cursed his luck. Cawlin seemed to have pulled some blue stick out of his pouch and was waving it haphazardly in the direction of the pursuing creatures remaining. This action may have had more effect in repelling them if he wasn't so still so clearly terrified of the creatures. Groose got his claymore free just as Linkle and Strich finished off the remainder.

"Strich?"

"Yeah Groose?"

"Go fly off and tell people. I don't think anyone knows there's monsters on this road yet. Meet us at the crossroad stables." Groose cleaned his weapon the best he could while Cawlin stuttered out gratitude to all and sundry. Linkle came to retrieve bolts from her victims, grimaced at the stench, and decided she didn't need the bolts which had hit their mark in the Bokoblins.

"Ya know, Grandma didn't say anything about how smelly slaying evil monsters is."

Note: Updated with some added details and corrections as of 6/19/19