Things Are Not According to Ganon

Learn This One Weird Trick That's Disrupting the Monster Ambush Industry

or

The Fashion Industry Hates This Daring New Trend.

Strich flew on ahead when the rest of the group left the stable. Linkle had taken the news of hero sightings surprisingly well, this had been an especially nice surprise for Groose. He'd expected some depression, anger, or Linkle hinting down the guy for a challenge. Her logic said that guy had to be an impostor and she planned to test out that sword on the faker. Stopping him was top priority when she had evidence. Linkle didn't like to think what a scoundrel like that might be up to.

Ravio shrugged and said his goal was to get to the forest as soon as possible. Groose took lead again as was his duty/responsibility/only way to avoid certain disaster.

Ravio was looking like a paranoid rabbit again. He kept jumping at every little thing and Groose was certain that had the horse not been so calm, it would have already bolted off. This was the only thing of note for the next few hours. Our protagonist started listing the things which startled Ravio in his head. It included various wildlife and oddly shaped shadows. Even the possibility of running into a Like-Like may not have kept Ravio from riding as fast as he could, were it not for the safety of a group.

Idle chatter occupied Linkle and Groose on the ride. Groose hoped the talking would distract Ravio but he kept muttering portentous stuff under his breath. Between him and Linkle, Groose was looking forward to just getting this done and getting back to Tarrey. Ana awaited, or at least Groose hoped so. He wanted to get back before she left town with her family.

"Yeah, you're lucky to be a right-handed person. Have you ever tried using anything meant for an opposite hand? It's infuriating," Linkle told Groose with some irritation. Groose simply did not understand how much lefties suffered. "A lot of the higher quality weapons are made for a specific hand. Hey, Ravio, aren't you a lefty, too?"

"Huh? Oh yeah. Funny coincidence, that. What is that up there?" Ravio pointed at a dark shape ahead which proved to be a goat on closer inspection. It bounded away into the trees without any attempt to murder Ravio. Groose was as irritated with Ravio as Linkle was irritated with the incomprehension of southpaws' plight.

Groose rolled his eyes and threw in his uneducated opinion. "Does it really matter that much? Just use spears and other two-handed stuff."

"Oh yeah? I'll have you try my crossbow." Linkle snarled. "You also should try using wrong-handed scissors. It's a perpetual curse." Ravio was ignored at first. "It is sickening."

"Uh, guys? LIKE-LIKE ON THE ROAD!"

That worked to grab attention. Groose heard Ravio pulling something out behind him, presumably a magic rod. All three stopped to look at the beautiful green rupee sitting innocuously in the center of the road. It sparkled like the water on the left side of the path in an invitation to pick it up and spend it. Groose watched as Linkle loaded a bolt and shot the thing. The Like-Like exploded from the ground and started creeping up before a couple more bolts killed it. This victory was short-lived. Groose heard a twang and a shock arrow hit the flank of Linkle's horse. Guard training kicked in and Groose scrambled to get off his horse. Linkle's horse bolted and Groose's horse did the same. He heard Ravio yelling something too and a loud thump. Ravio had been thrown and was readying a blast of ice to help.

Linkle was up and aiming at the treeline as Groose spun to the ambushers. "Groose, cover me!"

"Just get that archer!"

There was a lot of yelling. Groose got smacked in the face with a Lizalfos tongue as he was spinning the claymore around. He settled for swinging wildly in the general direction of the monsters while he recovered his bearings. Linkle shrieked in anger as a lizard tongue grabbed her crossbow. He couldn't make it out but Ravio seemed to be yelling something like

"lizalfosoverherelookoutrunforit"

After the archer and two spear-using reptiles in the front were dead, Linkle and Groose turned around to find a wide frozen area. Ravio was chasing a second Like-Like with his ice rod and a blond stranger was finishing off a monster. A very distinctive sword was buried in the back of the Lizalfos and Groose could not help but ask,

"Is that the Master Sword?!"

The stranger stepped back as the monster died and nodded. "...Yes. Are you okay?"

"WHAT! Hey, we wanted to talk to you! Thanks for helping with the lizards, pal." Groose said as he stared.

Linkle picked up her snapped crossbow as she asked, "Hey, can I see that please? My name's Linkle by the way."

The stranger smiled and held out the sword. Linkle hurried over to inspect the hilt in shock and hesitated a moment before grabbing it. Despite the stranger not having a grip on it, she could not pick up the sword. He raised an eyebrow.

"...Do you always try to steal people's weapons after they rescue you?"

Linkle said, "S-Sorry! I just-just wanted to see if it was really, you know, um..."

"Oh, it's okay, let me guess, you thought it was fake. I get that a lot. Shouldn't you be getting your horses?"

Groose didn't like the way the guy spoke. Sometimes in life people, for no discernible reason, annoy other people. This was the case for Groose here. This helpful annoyed him a lot and he shoved that feeling aside for the moment.

"Sorry, long story. I'm Groose, from Tarrey? That other guy's Cawlin." Cawlin wasn't within sight. "Uh, CAWLIN?"

Over behind the stranger, a saliva-covered hand waved. "I'm okay! Killed the Like-Like that got me." Ravio seemed to be hurriedly scooping stuff up. The spread of ice on the ground was large enough that Groose wondered if he used a blizzard rod. Linkle's shoulders were slumped as she held up the pieces of the broken crossbow. The stranger sheathed the sword and folded his arms.

"I'm Link, nice to meet you all. Need help getting your horses?"

Groose reluctantly accepted help from the smug smile. It didn't take long for the horses to be retrieved. Not-Cawlin handed over a couple of elixirs when he saw the bruises and cuts on his acquaintances. Linkle's horse was force-fed an elixir with some difficulty. It appeared the stranger's horse sustained no injury and a very awkward silence descended on the group.

Ravio seemed reluctant to speak. He also seemed to be avoiding looking at the stranger after a quick, "Did you get hurt? No? Thanks." He seemed less tense after Link declined to stick around. When Groose finished cleaning up, he decided they should make camp for the night.

Ravio wanted to leave but most of the elixir he'd tried to force into the horse ended up on the ground. This was the longest stretch of time Groose had gone in Linkle's presence without words being spoken by her. Both boys exchanged a look. Linkle was definitely thinking about more than the broken crossbow at the moment.

Groose took it upon himself as leader to speak first. "Hey, uh, Linkle? May I take a look at it? I might be able to fix it."

"Sure. you can call me Aryll, by the way." Said the hero formerly known as Linkle. Groose picked up the pieces and tinkered.

Ravio seemed to be looking at everything but the people in camp. A calculating and worried look was on his face as he asked Groose, "Did that guy seem familiar to you?"

"He's the Legendary Hero. Looks like the pictures. Blue eyes, sword, and stuff. Does heroic stuff."

"No, I mean... um..." Aryll looked at him funny as Ravio dropped his volume conspiratorially. He sounded puzzled. Groose started to tie the string a little and bend a trigger back in place. He did not know what Ravio was getting at. "He seemed familiar, like someone... Sweet Nayru! We need to run to the forest now."

Looking at an unhooded Ravio in the firelight made things click for Groose. There was an unmistakable resemblance in the build and facial features.

"Hey, he kind of looked-"

"I think that was my cousin Kishgal."

"Link" rode on. He chuckled at a job well done and a scam well operated. The travelers had been a bit tougher than expected or he'd have been able to show off more. Oh well. Something was nagging at the back of his mind. He slowed down and a puff of smoke appeared at his horse's side.

"Shu. Good job with the herding. The timing was perfect."

"Thanks. That girl looked so disappointed when you were talking to her. It was hilarious!"

"Yeah. Oh man. Pity none of them died but it was worth that. Hey, did that guy seem familiar to you?" It clicked when he remembered Cawlin's distinctive screaming. Kishgal and Shu both realized it at the same time.

"...WAIT."

Kishgal knew Ravio's facial features rather well. "He looked like me!"

Veran's leadership of the Yiga clan had come with many changes. She eliminated people who dared question her on anything which was par for the course in Yiga leadership. It was practically a tradition anyway. Over the decades clan law was quietly edited to put less emphasis on loyalty to Ganon and more on loyalty to the leader. What was unusual was the sheer extent with which she fueled the funeral industry. After many people were either dead or thoroughly terrified, she made a few unopposed changes to the clan laws. Ganon was all but forgotten by Veran except as a potential well of power.

Other things outside of Mistress Veran's control happened too. The uniforms were all dyed to be purple and black instead of black and red. There was much grumbling, yet, for reasons unknown, Like-Likes ate red and blue fabric. Kishgal had to dye his shirt from blue to green. Like-Likes may have been creatures of Ganon, but they were not discriminatory in who they'd annoy.

Sasuke was one of the older members of the clan that managed to not be struck down by a fireball on a whim of Veran's. He knew where the changes were all going and decided to just wait it out. Ganon was much more powerful than this upstart and Sasuke had a sense of self-preservation which led him to stay in the middle ranks. Sure he was eligible to challenge the leaders for the past few years but there was a lot of risks in that position. Veran was a whole new level of dangerous even before she'd mastered shadow magic. She now had a few more shadow constructs to do her bidding, courtesy of the various spells she used. She also changed the leader uniform too for the sake of fashion. It was much more avant-garde evil-sorceressy robes and abandoned the mask. She felt that people should get to admire her face before they died screaming.

Veran was particularly irritable today; some of the henchpeople stationed on hero ambush duty were saying they'd seen a ghost in the mists. They had been unlucky or cursed with everything. Vines kept tripping them where no vegetation had been before. Bananas turned into mush the moment a back was turned. One guy went to draw his windcleaver and found it glued into the sheath, as were all the other sheathed weapons in the area. Whenever they went to ambush travelers for supplies, the travelers would suddenly change course to an unguarded route. The usually level-headed Tekkan swore he saw a lost Yiga being devoured by the swirling fog.

The Lost Woods hated them and the feeling was mutual.

Veran called a meeting with the leaders to demand answers. All the council who weren't on duty wished they were anywhere else. Veran's own wardrobe modifications did not help. There was no denying it. That hat looked ridiculous. Yiga blademaster Sasuke could no longer ignore Veran's headwear. He was certain it was a test of loyalty. Nothing less than iron self-control or steel devotion would keep people from snickering at the odd crab-claw-appendage which perched on her hair. He idly wondered how much magic Veran spent on keeping that hat upright. Sasuke silently thanked Ganon for the mask he wore.

They all were lined up as Veran quietly paced. The hat bobbed. The scrutiny from her dark red eyes was almost physically painful to endure. A muffled 'snrk' echoed from the middle of a row.

"What was that sound? Was that you, Lisa?" Veran fixed her calculating mirthless smile on the offending party. Sasuke missed the leaders that would just say 'hey, you' to speak to people. Veran remembered each and every single person. No flunky was forgotten or insignificant enough to escape her notice and this was very scary indeed.

"I'm sorry, Mistress, it was a dry throat. I'm sorry! Won't happen again." The woman quivered under the force of the attention and kept trembling even after Veran stalked off. The hat was looming like a vulture's beak.

"Now Captain, my understanding from these reports is that our well-trained forces of darkness are scared of a few ghostly pranks?"

"We are puzzled Mistress. Some of the greenhorns are spooked but we are taking care of it."

"You better. What of my nephew?"

"None seem to suspect anything. The decoy is working as intended and he has had no trouble concealing the Magnesis Bracers under his gauntlets." Kishgal was much better than Kohga at using the Magnesis Bracers. Part of this was the emphasis Kishgal put on the mission over showmanship.

"Since the fog is sooo awful, I'll come take care of the horrible, scary, creepy forest for you. It should burn quite well with a little encouragement." Veran oozed sarcasm as she left the room. No one spoke for some time. Trying to destroy the Lost Woods was plucking feathers from a Goron and they all knew it.

Notes: What do I even name these guys? Thank goodness for name generators. Updated with help from Local Minstrel 8/4/19