Dawn

Now Linebeck in the past couple days had an interesting time of it too. The sea captain was eager to leave but was worried about his timid crewman. He and first mate Senza elected to stick around in Port Akkala one more day after some debate. Linebeck made a big show of the complaining, of course. He'd sent Niko to ask around town the day after they parted. They regretted dawdling when the knights came knocking the second night. After asking what they knew about Cawlin, the knights brought the crew in for questioning and it was an unpleasant experience. Also, Linebeck was a little offended Cawlin hadn't told him Cawlin was a pseudonym. The third night they were released with an apology and some tea. If it hadn't been dark out, Linebeck would have loved to sail out right away. He was interested to know why people kept calling Cawlin 'Ravio' or he might have just left without the scones. Apologies over scones got interrupted by a red light outside.

Linebeck was rather done with Hyrule at this point. The spiders helped that feeling of not liking this country anymore.

They somehow survived the night and were packing up so they would be able to set sail the moment Niko got back. The sailors figured Cawlin was okay since the knights said something about him being a hero? They'd sounded uncertain about it...

"Captain Linebeeeeck! You gotta come see this!" Yelled a voice from a short guy on the dock. Heck, he was even shorter than Cawlin and Cawlin was only five-foot-something. Linebeck leaned over the bow. He had no interest in the scuttlebutt around this particular harbor.

"Niko! About time you got back. Let's go. This land is cursed."

"But captain, you'll want to get over here. The knights are showing everyone this new stuff and..."

"Did you not see the giant monster spiders?"

"Come see Cawlin! He's on this slate thingy!"

After more back and forth, curiosity got the better of Linebeck and the treasure hunter crew. They left Gonzo on board and squeezed into the guard station lobby next to some rather excited Zoras. A rectangular square was showing a moving image and some people were excitedly whispering about Purah getting it to work and stuff. What the heck was a broadcast?

There was a louder voice than all the rest of the crowd and realization dawned on the crew that the voices were that of the people on the screen. These were the people from Tarrey town. The tall orange-haired fellow seemed to have ended up as spokesman for the time being. The yellow Rito seemed a little worse for the wear and he was not the only one with noticeable bandages; the Gerudo girl sported a lot of wrapping on her legs. Along with the people he recognized, two other blonde teenage girls were standing next to each other and they were probably sisters from the look of it. The rest of the people in the broadcast seemed to be separate from the group. "...Yeah, that's how we killed the blight and we made it look good doing it..." Eventually, he seemed to finish talking and stepped back to rejoin the group Cawlin was in.

From what Linebeck knew of him, Cawlin wanted to be somewhere else. He was watching the crowd as if looking for an escape route or possibly cutthroats. The old king was sitting, unlike most of the people. It looked like he was the one speaking at the moment.

"... So yeah, to answer your question, I do have something to tell the Yiga Clan!" The two sisters looked like they were anticipating something embarrassing from the way they braced themselves. "IN YOUR FACE! I still live, you losers!" The head librarian standing next to Gustaf looked up at the sky with a massive sigh. "That's it for that." The questioner, some representative from the parliament no doubt, nodded and approached a now very nervous looking Cawlin.

"So, uh, Ravio. You want to tell us about your family?" Cawlin looked less nervous now that he knew the question wasn't something tricky.

"Oh, where do I begin? So, meeting my sister is pretty awesome! I wish I saw her fight Kishgal. That was pretty great. She's going to help me practice sword-fighting when her leg is better and she's utterly fearless. This is the coolest Grandma ever too. She's nice and she's got the best stories and doesn't want me dead." He waved at the tiny old woman cheerfully and she waved back. "Mrs. Blacksmith is really cool too and is probably not trying to kill me." Veran had set the bar shockingly low for motherhood. The Blacksmith had a resigned expression.

"I mean your other family." said the dignitary.

"Grandpa is amazing! I've never seen him angry. He slept all the time but he would always listen to me when I needed to talk and he knows everything. Everyone there was so nice even when pranking me and stuff." some of the audience looked a little concerned about the nostalgic tone and happy smile Cawlin had. "Heck, Grandpa didn't even get mad when I accidentally burned some of his branches." The audience visible ditched the look of alarm for a look of confusion. "He took like a hundred years to grow that one and all he did was offer to do the magic lesson again. Then there was the time..." The interviewer coughed while Ravio prattled. "...taking Grandma into the forest to meet him next week." the interviewer coughed more loudly.

"...Could you tell us about your other relatives, the Yiga?" The happy smile dropped from Cawlin's mouth into obscurity alongside the fates of several one-hit wonder bards.

"Welllll... I ran for a lot of reasons. Also, my mother literally tried to bite off my head a few hours ago. Literally. Are we done?" Linebeck and crew continued to stare at the screen as other people took turns describing last nights events and reading reports from other areas. They wanted to see more but a red ponytail made itself visible in the crowd and became a shark fin parting the waters. Linebeck made haste and he made a lot of it.

Jolene had arrived.

The properly planned ceremony a few days later went much more smoothly. Hazel had very reluctantly parted with the Sheikah Slate that day when King Gustaf found out Ravio hadn't touched it since the access was granted. Gustaf liked Ravio and they gleefully swapped banana recipes. (Gustaf developed a love for the fruit over the years of claiming it in victory.) Hazel and Ana were involved once more in the glassworks and with babysitting but did take time to visit and chat with their new friends. Daltus took a long look at Ravio and decided he was sufficient. He then sought ways to butter up Ravio in the hopes of getting to play with the slate. Jezeldabel followed suit and Ravio began to dread seeing them.

Ravio was working on the trial but reported a while later to Aryll "Link said I'm good enough for government work!" with a happy little dance.

Aryll and Ravio returned to Castletown from their shopping trips with sand clinging to their boots or other oddities. Merchants of Castletown were uncertain if losing the Grandma as a customer was a bad or good thing; that woman could haggle. It was considered a rite of passage among local merchants to sell things to Grandma. The two siblings seemed eager to get her the freshest ingredients from the best places. Only the best was good enough for Grandma and shopping trips to Lurelin were no problem with the transport rune. They wrapped up at the shrine after the teleport and put on fluffy knitted scarves before sprinting to their Grandma's kitchen.

The scarves were hand-knitted by Hazel for each of the Champions and it was impressive she'd done such an amazing job in such a short time. Ravio and Linkle's had stripes to match each other. Groose and Strich got ones in colors to match knight uniforms. They were warm and fluffy and perfect for keeping out the autumn chill. The Divine Beast Pilots were given more traditional embroidered cloths in the ceremony. Some stupendous artwork was made in honor of the Blightslayers and put up in towns with partying.

Strich's opinion of spiders never really got back up past a 3 out of 10. Much of Hyrule had developed arachnophobia but the wave of spiders did have a positive benefit. Unbeknownst to the Gerudo, another nomadic tribe was considering moving into the desert and maybe trying their hand at conquest. They scoffed at the rumors of Divine Beasts. The night they trekked across the borders, they took one look at the spiders and noped right back home to try conquering Labrynna instead. This benefit was massively outweighed by the PTSD episodes triggered by Guardians that looked like spiders from a distance.

Veran, as a consequence of her sheer evilness, took over the position of Demise's Hatred. Ganondorf was reborn after a while in another country as the fourth of five children. He was an odd kid with an irrational aversion to the color green.

As for the Guardians, they were fixed right back up. Rosso and other mechanics had hearts filled with joy and delight as they watched Lizalfos fried with a dramatic piano solo.

Medilia resigned herself to Ravio liking her on the basis that she wasn't trying to kill him or practicing dark curses. He seemed to just be a fan of anyone who showed him kindness.

Linkle had her crossbow signed by Prince Sidon and was invited to dinner sometime at Zora's domain. Oh, and so were Grandma and Ravio. With her membership reinstated the headcount of the club was back to 2,466 members. The Prince Sidon Fan Club rejoiced at the victory over the Thunderblight. When Ravio realized Prince Sidon had zero desire to kill him he was rather happy. The fan club headcount became 2,467.

The Yiga Clan was left without a clear leader and the council was puzzling over various odd loopholes introduced by Veran's haphazard changes to clan law. She didn't like writing down a lot of her research and magic formulas. What was written down was grueling to read. Terrible handwriting was, apparently, hereditary.

Strich and Groose were returned to Tarrey soon after the ceremonies and it was kind of quiet without them around. Groose's rupees were down to a value barely in the double digits. Strich paid the bugsitter girl and still hadn't decided to keep the redecoration she'd executed in his absence. In the interest of not disappointing a little kid, he left most of it up but drew the line at glitter. The pair were greeted quite warmly by their fellow knights and the captain quietly gave them a pay raise.

Note: I kept one detail from the April Fools post. Agitha probably had great fun. Also I totally forgot to include Wheelieblight Ganon: Scourge of Master Cycle Zero. I'll add him next to Sheerow on the list of forgotten characters which should have happened. This chapter title may be changed after I think of a pun. Dawn of the Nerd Day didn't fit... updated 9/6/19