*** DISCLAIMER ***
I own NOTHING regarding the divergent series e.g. the books/the movies
The only things I own are my own characters that I've created.
"I'm so excited." Andie said then did a little hop as they walked through towards pit the next morning, Nix glanced at her then ahead as she swallowed, her stomach was in knots at the anticipation of seeing her parents, "I have to pee."
"Again?" Nix asked as she halted with Andie who nodded, "Want me to come?"
"No, that's okay, go see your family, I'll meet you after." Andie replied then smiled brightly before she ran off to go to the bathroom.
Nix watched her go for a beat with a smile then faced forward and the smile disappeared, she inhaled deeply and headed towards the entrance to the pit, straight away she could see groups of blue, orange and white outfits scattered around.
She halted and looked around, she couldn't see her parents anywhere and dread began to build within her, hadn't they come?
"Faction before blood." Eric's unmistakable voice said from behind Nix just as she was about to take a step forward.
She turned around and found him stood a few feet away from her, she hesitated briefly before she nodded.
"With your voice, initiate." he replied and his tone was curt.
She stared up at him for a long moment before opening her mouth to speak but no words came out.
"The words." he snapped and her mouth closed, "Say, the words."
He'd said the word 'say' with emphasis and a beat passed before she finally found her voice, "Faction before blood."
"Make sure you remember it." he told her firmly and started to walk away but she took a hold of his forearm as he was passing her and he halted, "What do you think you're doing stiff?"
He'd not looked at her as he spoke and he'd said the word 'stiff' like it was something extremely foul that he'd just tasted, she was slightly taken aback at it and quickly released his arm.
He then turned his head in her direction and scowled at her, she took a step back as she asked, "Have I, done something? T-to...upset you?"
"Upset me?" he asked her in a mocking way and she swallowed, he then looked her up and down in a malice way for a beat before continuing with, "I'd have to care about you for you to UPSET me, stiff...and I don't."
His words and the cruel way he said them seamed to hit her hard in the chest, so much so that she actually found herself placing a hand on it.
What had she done to have him speak to her like this?
She'd not seen him since last night when he'd left her in the infirmary, the last thing he'd said to her was that he wouldn't let Tom hurt her again...she believed that.
He wouldn't have said that if he didn't care, right?
She was well aware by now, this week especially, that his moods could change like the flick of a switch but this, for him to speak to her like that after helping her last night...it hurt.
He was like a completely different person from last night.
"I thought, with everything that's happened this week that...w-well you, you made me think that." She couldn't get the words of her reply out properly, they only came out jumbled and as a stutter and the way he was leering down at her made her eyes water, after a beat passed she inhaled deeply and finally finished with, "Obviously...I'm mistaken."
She had barely finished what she was saying before he was walking off.
o
Nix willed herself not to cry, not here, she couldn't.
With another deep inhale she looked at Eric's retreating form as he marched off and that's when her eyes found her parents across the pit, she wondered how she hadn't seen them sooner, they were the only people here from abnegation and surprisingly very detectable in their all grey outfits amongst the throngs of black of the dauntless and the other faction families that had come to visit.
The dirty looks they were receiving from almost everyone present hadn't gone unnoticed either, by her or them, despite this however when she locked eyes with them they both smiled at her, her mother's was tight but her father's reached his eyes.
Despite how her encounter with Eric had made her feel she couldn't help but smile back in return and immediately began to walk towards them.
"Dad." she said when she reached him and he held his arms out for her, she didn't hesitate to step into them.
She had no words to describe how good it felt to be back in his arms again after so long, with a deep inhale she then tightened her hold on him before she shoved her face further into his chest.
"Sweetheart." her father replied and hugged her back equally as fierce before he pulled back from her.
"Mother." she then said with a smile as her father moved for her mom to hug her and the woman was looking rather uncomfortable, Nix wasn't quite sure what the reason for it was...being in dauntless, having everyone's eyes on her maybe?
It was actually probably due more to the public exchange between her and her father than anything else.
Nix decided after a long and silent moment to make the first move, she stepped forward and reached out but her mother's hands clamped down on her upper arms firmly and halted her.
They stayed stood like that for a beat until her mother gave her arms a light squeeze and nodded.
Nix swallowed and nodded back after glancing at her dad to find he had a remorseful look on his face, she'd been expecting the woman to react as such but she couldn't deny that she was still a little hurt by it.
"Phoenix." her mom eventually said once she'd released her and stepped back, "It's nice to see you."
"And you. It's great to see you both...I've missed you." she said with a smile.
"We've missed you too, so very much...how are you doing?" her dad replied.
"Good. I have training every day so I'm usually worn out most of the time but I like it, I can feel myself getting stronger because of it." she replied and her father nodded with a smile.
"That's great, you look well." he said and she noticed her mother's eyes roaming all over her as he spoke.
"Not very dear." she said and reached for Nix's face, she gripped her chin and moved her head to the side, "Is that a bruise?"
"No." Nix said and shook her head as she touched where her mom was looking, she almost winced but managed to not.
It WAS definitely a bruise, along her jaw, left over from her fight with either Sam or Tracey, she wasn't sure who exactly.
When Andie had come to see her that morning Nix had begged her to cover her face with make-up before the visit as there was no way she could meet her parents with her face in the state it was, it had been black and blue the first couple of days after she'd fought Sam and had since healed some but not enough that she'd be able to hide it from her mom and dad.
Tracey had managed to hit her a few times yesterday but not hard enough to mark her, when Tom attacked last night however, she'd received some large red marks that had begun to bruise.
Andie had done a good job hiding the injuries but apparently missed a spot.
"It is a bruise." her mom said.
Nix moved her head out of her mother's hold then said with a shrug, "It's nothing."
"It doesn't look like nothing." she replied after a beat, almost hesitantly.
"It's just from training." Nix said.
"What kind of training?" her mother asked.
"Fighting." her father replied before she could and he had a grin on his face.
Her mother looked at him disapprovingly which caused the grin to disappear, he then shrugged at Nix and she smiled at him.
"Did someone...make you see a doctor about it?" her mom asked awkwardly.
Nix opened her mouth to speak but the words died away as she processed the question, that was not what she expected to hear from her abnegation mother, if anything she would expect the woman to have said 'I hope you didn't make a fuss about it'.
Nix eventually shook her head at the question and as she did her mother moved around her for a better look at the mark on her skin.
"It's only a bruise mom." she said as she moved back from her mother who was reaching for her face again.
A squeal of delight suddenly echoed around the pit, Nix turned her head to see what it was and she smiled when she found the source of the noise, Andie had just been reunited with her parents and her younger sister and she was embracing each of them excitedly.
"What on EARTH have you done?!" her mother asked in an outraged whisper after gasping loudly.
Nix turned back to look at her and saw that her eyes were on her hair that was tied in a ponytail, her smile faded immediately as a sudden feeling of insecurity overwhelmed her, "Uh I...I had my hair shaved."
"Yes Phoenix I can see that, I'm not blind." her mother practically snapped at her but she composed herself quickly and lowered her voice, "What would possess you to do such a thing?"
"W-well I...I just wanted, a change." she eventually replied.
"A change?" her mother asked and she looked from her to at her father who was quietly listening, "What would you possibly want to change about your hair?"
"I'm a dauntless initiate now, I'm no longer abnegation." she replied hesitantly then paused, her mother looked at her with a 'go on' expression, "Well...everyone in abnegation has the same hairstyle."
"Right." her mother said, in a way that again left her room to continue.
She stared at her mother for a long moment then said, "I wanted a change."
"I don't understand why you would want to change so drastically." her mom replied.
"It's not drastic mom, I had it shaved a little bit underneath, it's no big deal...a-and to be honest, the hairstyle worn by abnegation was very drab." Nix answered, saying the last part without really thinking and with wide eyes she looked at her mother who suddenly looked offended, even more so when her mouth opened again and added, "Is."
"You didn't seam to mind it before you left." her mother replied after a long moment of silence and she used extra emphasis on the word 'left', Nix looked at her feet briefly, the tone of that word was accusing.
"It wasn't my place to mind it before." she replied eventually and her mother stared at her as if she was a stranger, "It wasn't...abnegation."
Nix cleared her throat once she stopped speaking and fidgeted where she stood.
"Who is this person before me dear?" her mother asked her father.
"Our child, honey." her father replied eventually and held her mother's hand in a supporting way for a brief moment, "Despite the faction system rules...she is STILL, our child."
Her mother stared at him for a long moment before she turned to look at Nix, she looked torn...as if she was disappointed yet at the same time at ease, "Are you well Phoenix...truly?"
Nix stared at her mother who's voice and frosty demeanour had broken as she spoke, she felt tears stinging her eyes as she quickly nodded her head and her mother engulfed her in her arms.
It was completely out of character for her, she had never so openly and affectionately embraced her this way before.
Nix wrapped her arms around her mother and held on as tightly as she could, for the first time in weeks she felt truly safe and untroubled, to be held by her mother was all it took for her to feel that.
They'd never had a proper goodbye and now they were making up for it, when she felt her mom's hand cup the back of her head a brief moment later the tears she was trying real hard to hold back escaped and rolled down her cheeks.
She held on tighter and looked at her father who was smiling at her from where he stood, she returned the smile and then her eyes caught sight of someone across the pit watching her.
He was stood with some other dauntless members to observe the family visits but his eyes were set firmly on her and no one else, he had a scowl on his face and even as content as she felt, that look managed to unsettle her and her father noticed, his brows pulled together and he turned around to look in the direction she was.
Eric held her fathers gaze briefly before he turned his head to look somewhere else, her father turned to look at her questioningly as her mother separated from her.
"Forgive me...I wasn't aware of how troubled your leaving caused me to feel." her mother said as she gracefully wiped a tear from her eye and inhaled a deep breath.
"I miss you too mother." she said with a sad smile and her mom suddenly reached for her hand, she gladly took it.
"Is that man one of your instructors?" her father asked after a beat.
"Which man?" she asked and she hoped she sounded nonchalant.
Her father raised a brow at her which told her he wasn't fooled and she swallowed, nevertheless he clarified his question for her mothers sake, he turned and looked in Eric's direction before looking back at her, "That man straight ahead...the one that is watching over this meeting."
She glanced briefly at Eric who was once again looking at her, "He's one of the leaders but yes...he's an instructor also."
"What is it that he teaches?" her father asked her in an almost apprehensive way, "Fighting?"
"Yes...sometimes, but Four is our main instructor for fighting." she replied.
"Four?" her mother asked and she nodded, "Dauntless have such...bizarre names."
"I guess so." Nix replied and she glanced in Eric's direction once more, her breathing then stopped, he was walking towards her and her parents.
She looked at them again and forced herself to smile when they made eye contact with her, she then swallowed and glanced Eric's way to find he was almost upon them, her father noticed her sudden discomfort and so did her mother, she could see they were getting ready to question her but a voice interrupted them.
"Morning all." Eric said to them when he appeared at Nix's side and she used her other hand to cover her mother's that she was holding and the woman looked at her in a concerned way but Nix smiled as brightly as she could in hopes it would reassure her.
The sudden appearance of Eric had her father raising his eyebrows in mild surprise but it didn't linger more than a brief moment and to Nix's surprise he then held his hand out to the dauntless leader.
Nix glanced at her mother and saw that she had an astonished look on her face before she looked back at the two men infront of her just as Eric grasped her fathers hand for a brief firm shake.
It shocked her that her father had initiated a handshake instead of bowing his head like she'd expected him to but what shocked her the most was that Eric had returned his greeting rather than refuse it.
"Hello." her mother said with a reserved smile once her dad had clasped both of his hands infront of him and then she gave him a nod.
"Ma'am." Eric replied with a slight dip of his head and Nix wasn't sure if it was genuine or if he was mocking her.
"The visit isn't over already is it?" she blurted out with a slight panic in her voice which was something she couldn't help as she was aware that barely even five minutes had passed by yet.
Surely they were allowed more time with their families than that?
Upon hearing her voice Eric turned his attention to her.
"I'm just making my rounds. Observing." he replied and relief flooded through her, she gave him a quick nod then looked at her feet.
"Phoenix was just informing us that you're both a leader and one of her instructors." her father said and she looked back up.
"That's right." Eric replied.
"How's she doing?" her dad asked after a beat.
"She's adequate." Eric answered immediately.
"Adequate." her father repeated and Nix felt her cheeks begin to burn in shame.
"Correct." Eric replied.
"I see." her father said and a beat passed before he asked, "But YOU, are her instructor?"
Nix looked up at him with wide eyes before turning her gaze on Eric who seamed to just be staring right through her father until a smirk slowly appeared on his face.
"Yeah. I'm one of them." he replied after what felt like a lifetime had gone by.
Her father nodded in response and said, "The progress results of these kids...surely they must indicate something about the teaching?"
Nix was sure her gasp would have been heard throughout the entire pit if Eric's reply hadn't been as instantaneous as it was, "The result reflects upon the performance, regardless of the teaching."
"And generally a performance is influenced by the education received, in Phoenix's case, YOUR education." her father said and Nix's eyes grew even wider with each word that was said, she then looked at her mother who had a look of dismay on her face as she listened to what her husband was saying, it wasn't like him to talk back yet he was doing it anyway.
The smirk Eric wore gradually turned into an amused smile and he glanced down at her then back to her father before saying, "Go on."
Nix swallowed apprehensively before looking at her father who hadn't faltered at Eric's daring tone, instead he smiled back at him and indeed continued with, "Maybe you're spreading yourself too thin...being both a leader and an instructor, well, that's bound to take it's toll...on anyone."
"Well isn't that considerate of you, Sir." Eric replied mockingly with a smile to match, her father whether he realised or not just shrugged a shoulder in return, "I'm not her only instructor."
"She did say." her dad said with a nod, either he was unaware or he'd chosen to ignore the way Eric had almost spat out the last part but she assumed it was the latter as she'd learned in recent years how perceptive he could be.
"Has she told you that he lacks skill and the ability to be forthright?" Eric asked and before her father could answer he added, "That he coddles them?"
"He doesn't coddle us." Nix said aloud, she then almost shrunk into herself for the mistake and didn't dare look at him, she instead kept her eyes on her father who was still staring at Eric and his expression was impassive but she knew that the dauntless leader stood beside her wouldn't be.
After a few long seconds passed by she risked a glance up at him and found him staring down at her, he wasn't showing it but she knew deep down that he wouldn't be happy with what she'd said.
"Oh you think so?" he asked and she was about to reply but he looked at her father again and said, "There would be a very drastic change in the initiates performance results if I was the one training them all day every day, believe me."
"Really." her dad said, it wasn't a question.
"That's right." Eric replied instantly.
"So you're saying, if you were the one in charge of the training then we could expect our daughter to be doing...exceptionally well, rather than adequately. Yes?" her father said and Eric glanced down at her.
"That would depend on the initiate, if they're prepared to really work for it. Would you be prepared sti-" he cut himself off before he said the word 'stiff', her mouth popped open at that and she saw that he seamed surprised at himself before he cleared his throat and said, "Would you be prepared...Nix?"
She stared up at him for a long moment and he back at her, it was her mother's suddenly quiet with a hint of hurt in her voice repeating the name that grabbed her attention.
"You're calling yourself Nix?" her dad asked with a grin, despite the very obvious tense atmosphere and she stared at him briefly before giving her mother's hand a gentle pat.
"I am." she replied with a nod to her dad then turned to look at Eric, "Yes...I am prepared."
"We'll see." he said immediately then walked off, giving a curt goodbye to her parents as he did.
O
"We love you." her mom said as she hugged her tightly, Nix squeezed her eyes closed and returned the hug.
Thirty minutes.
Thirty minutes was all the initiates were allowed to have with their families before they were to leave.
Her mother pressed her lips to her temple and gave her a long kiss before they separated and her father's embrace instantly replaced her, he pulled Nix into him and she wrapped her arms around his body, she held on tightly as her tears rolled down her cheeks.
"We do, ever so much." he whispered in her ear.
"I love you both too." she replied with a broken voice, "I wish we had more time."
"We do too." her dad said softly before he leaned back slightly, she looked up just as he went to peck her on forehead and she cast her eyes down, inhaling a deep breath she glanced away from him and saw that other parents were already heading towards the stairs that led to the exit, a sob caught in her throat at the thought of her parents leaving once her father released her and she placed her face against his chest.
He held her for a moment longer before giving her one final squeeze and then his hold on her loosened and as much as she wanted to stop him, she didn't.
She leaned back slowly and they separated, she looked from him to her mother who was trying to hold back her own tears.
"Until the next time." she said quietly and her father smiled with a nod.
"Whenever that may be." her mother replied and took one of her hands to give it a squeeze, Nix nodded in response then unwillingly took a step back so their hands disjoined, she then inhaled as she took another step back from them and held her hand up in a wave.
Her father wrapped an arm around her mother...a comfort, he then whispered something in her ear and she nodded before tightly closing her eyes which caused a tear to run down her cheek, her lip then began to tremble a little before she bit down on it.
Her father removed his arm from her mother and then they both stepped back slowly, she watched them turn around after giving her one last smile and then they began to leave.
Sadness overwhelmed her as she watched them walk away from her, the other initiates around her were either stood watching their own parents leave or they were already leaving the pit themselves, some looked sad and others looked indifferent.
She herself stood there until she could no longer see her parents and when they were gone a sob bubbled in her throat, she had to cover her mouth to stop herself from wailing.
She stood for a moment, hoping as she did that no one could see her silently breaking down, when her body began to wrack she turned her back to those that were nearby.
She was then suddenly engulfed in someone's arms, which caused her to gasp in surprise.
"You looked like you could do with a hug." she heard Andie's voice.
Nix huffed out a laugh before she nodded and hugged her back, "Thank you."
"Time to go." a voice said from behind her, she didn't need to look to know who it belonged to, she began frantically wiping her eyes when Andie released her then cleared her throat and sniffed.
"Yes." she managed to reply to them both.
"Yeah." Andie agreed then looked behind Nix who had kept her back to him as she'd spoken and still did, she indicated with her head to Andie to follow her before she began to walk away.
Andie appeared beside her immediately and after a beat they heard his footsteps behind them, Nix closed her eyes briefly before inhaling a deep breath and when she opened her eyes he appeared at her other side.
She saw Andie out of the corner of her eye look at him before facing forward again, a moment of the three of them just walking side by side then passed before he held his arm out in front of Nix and stopped walking, she had no choice but to stop with him.
Andie stopped too and looked at them both, Nix looked from her to him and he was staring ahead, his expression impassive.
"Get to training." he eventually said and looked at Andie.
"Uh...but, what about-" Andie began to reply but he cut her off.
"The stiff is going to the infirmary." he said.
"No I'm not." Nix said and he turned his head to scowl at her.
"Get going." he then said to Andie, "She'll be joining you soon enough."
"Susie told me this morning I could go to training." Nix said and looked at Andie, "Let's go."
"Stiff." he said firmly as he kept his arm infront of her, she looked at him and found him glaring at her, "You'll go to training when I tell you to go."
Nix let out an exasperated sigh and looked at Andie who was staring at her with wide eyes.
"Don't make me tell you again." Eric said to Andie as he turned his glare on her and she looked from him to Nix.
"It's fine." Nix said with a sigh, "I'll meet you there."
Andie hesitated before she nodded then turned and walked away, both Nix and Eric watched her until she was out of sight.
Another beat passed and he moved his arm from infront of her to let it hang by his side, he then demanded, "What did I say?"
"I've to go to the infirmary, yeah, I heard you." she muttered after sighing then began to walk away but his hand grabbed her upper arm and halted her from the next step she was about to take, she looked up and found him glaring down at her.
"I asked you a question." he said firmly, she then shifted slightly to step out of his hold but he must have taken that as her trying to walk away from him again and before she could move he yanked her back into him so she was against his chest and said in a low threatening voice with his nose ACTUALLY touching hers, "You don't want to piss me off anymore stiff...your daddy's already done a good job of it."
At the mention of her father she pushed against his chest and snapped, "I heard what you said and I answered you!"
His feet were still planted firmly to the floor but his torso did move ever so slightly and at either her tone or the fact that she'd pushed him his nostrils flared, he was then shoving her roughly to the side.
She made a feeble attempt at protest but he was that much taller and stronger than her that it was pointless.
He pushed her into a small alcove around a corner of one of the tunnels then shoved her against the wall, she gasped at the impact but shut her mouth tightly when he pressed himself against her.
"You should really watch your tone stiff." he told her in a menacing voice, "Let's try it again. I asked...what was it, that I said to you?"
"You know what you said." she replied with slight venom in her voice.
"What did I say to you?" he demanded, ignoring what she'd said.
She stared at him for a moment before she smiled sweetly and repeated, "What did I say to you?"
"You think that's funny?" he asked with a grin that unnerved her.
"I'm not laughing." she replied after swallowing.
"Neither am I." he said then glared.
She stared up at him for a long moment then looked away, her eyes found the corner he had pushed her around and she thought about making a run for it...hit him in the stomach, knee him in the groin, headbutt him even.
She doubted any of those things would hold him back long enough for her to escape, all they'd do is make him angrier than he already was with her.
"Whatever you're planning, don't bother." he said and her eyes shot to his, "I'd catch you."
His words were both a threat and a promise and a shiver ran through her at that realisation, she glanced down briefly before looking up at him once more, "So presumptuous."
"Presumptuous." he repeated with emphasis.
She swallowed nervously and a voice in the back of her head told her to shut up and not to goad him but she found herself doing it anyway, "You didn't catch me last time."
There was a long pause before he reacted in any way to her words and what she wasn't expecting, was a smirk.
It appeared on his lips slowly as his eyes roamed all over her face, he then spoke in a low voice, "I still found you."
Her eyes widened at his words and then the memory of what happened after he found her played in her mind, not for long though, it was replaced by a new one...the hurtful words he said to her before she saw her family, replaying that in her head paired with the fact that her parents had just left caused her eyes to tear up.
She looked away from him, she didn't want him to see her cry.
His grin was replaced by a frown and he tried to look at her but she moved her head away, he then grabbed her chin and moved her head back and held it there so she had no choice but to face him.
"What?" he demanded and she bit her lip to try and stop the tears from escaping fully.
"Can I go? Please." she said and he continued to frown at her for a long moment.
"Not until you tell me-" he eventually replied but she cut him off from finishing.
"Faction before blood that's what you said to me, I should have said it when you first asked but I never so I'm sorry...now there, I've said it, can I please go?" her voice gradually broke as she spoke and she looked down, he was still holding her chin in his huge hand but his touch was gentle.
"That's not what I meant." he replied, his voice low.
After what felt like a lifetime had passed he let go of her chin and stepped back from her, she looked up at him to find he was no longer frowning but staring intently at her, he flicked his head in indication for her to go and she didn't hesitate.
Once she was out of the alcove she broke into a sprint and disappeared from him as quickly as her legs would carry her.
She was supposed to go to training after the visit but she needed a moment to herself so she headed for the dormitory instead.