Willow and Sirius touched down on the southern edge of the Forbidden Forest, miles and miles from Hogwarts. They gave Buckbeak a treat and allowed him an hour's rest. Although they wanted to start a small fire, they couldn't, because the Ministry could find it and figure out where they were headed. Willow grew a small patch of flowers for them to sit on instead. Sirius laid down and quickly drifted off to sleep, clearly exhausted from the day's events. Willow untied her robes and draped them across his skinny frame. He appeared to dream peacefully after that.
For a June night, it was rather chilly. Willow wrung her hands, trying her best not to think about the possibility of pursuing dementors, but the idea continued to recur in her scrambled mind. If they came for her, she didn't know the Patronus spell, and they would be defenseless. She made a mental note to herself to ask Sirius about it when they finally escaped.
Willow's mind darted from event to event from the past 48 hours. She had reached the lowest of low points, then been saved by her friends. She'd tried to sacrifice her life to save three- and almost succeeded. Her friends were probably being questioned by the Ministry as she sat there. Willow clasped her hands together and rested her elbows on her knees, tears welling up in her eyes. She'd screwed up so bad. All she wanted to do was save Paige's grandfather. She'd done that- but in the process, her idiot, meddling self had ruined so many lives. Molly and her Death Eaters could easily have ended any of her friends' lives. What if that had happened? How could she ever forgive herself?
Images of the dark dungeon, her mum being tortured, and Lucius's sneer filled her mind. She caused her mum all that pain by jumping into a situation that she didn't belong in. Her mum's tarnished mental state was all her fault, Willow realized, and she had only worsened the situation by enraging Lucius. What had she done? Why was it that everything she touched crumbled to dust?
Willow suddenly sniffed hard, preventing the tears from falling. Enraged, she marched off into the trees, kicking a tree root here and there. She wanted to scream, but it would wake up Sirius. Everything would have been fine had she not messed it up! Her friends would be safe, Sirius wouldn't be on the run, her family wouldn't be worried sick, and her mum wouldn't be drowning in conflicted memories. She had tried so hard to fix things, but all she did was destroy them beyond repair!
Willow balled her fists up. She was so stupid! Why did she ever think going to rescue Grandpa Terrell was a sane idea? Willow's chest heaved. That was the problem though, wasn't it? She never did think before she did! All those dead family members, whether she meant to or not, family or ex-family, were lifeless because of her actions. She'd killed people! Whether they deserved it or not, she would never be able to shake those crimes from her soul.
Willow punched a nearby tree, then again, then again, and repeatedly beat the trunk until her muscles ceased to function. She stared at the indent it left on the tree, brushing aside the red stain on the bark. Her breath came in deep heaves. Her body trembled. Her limbs crackled. A hot energy sparked throughout her frame. She wanted to scream, punch a hole through the sky, drill the ground all the way to the center of the earth, and kick Lucius in the groin all at once. But she couldn't do any of those things, because no matter how powerful she was, she was helpless to her fate, her blood, and her reality.
She was useless.
Willow gave the tree one last kick, then marched back to where Buckbeak and Sirius were sleeping. She plopped heavily onto a fallen log. She folded her arms across her chest, drawing into herself. The thought occurred to her that she didn't even finish her Defense Against the Dark Arts exam, and that did her in. Willow punched the ground and barely suppressed an angry scream. She ran her hands down her face, wishing that one of her friends were here to slap her across the face. They would get her to snap out of her pity-party. But they were too nice, and they always tried to get her to release her emotions. There was no one out there except Paige, Lee, and the Weasley twins who would give her a proper release. Now they were probably paying the price for her stupidity.
Willow leaned back against the log when she remembered Miranda's bold declaration of his identity. She never got to ask him what was going on, never got to help him through one of the biggest problems in his life; in fact, she wasn't there for any of her friends this year. A fresh wave of anger coursed through Willow's system. She didn't deserve her friends! Why would they risk their lives for her when she obviously never made an effort for their friendship?
I DON'T DESERVE SHIT! Willow screamed at herself.
How dare you talk to yourself like that! Cebba retorted. You deserve-
To die! For EVERYTHING I've done! Have you not been paying attention to how shitty of a person I've been lately?
I have been paying attention, actually, and I saw something completely different. I saw a girl in the worst pain of her life, trying to deal with an incomprehensible destiny, a whole gaggle of chaotic friends, Sirius Black, and her whacked-up family, all at the same time. That's not including the emotional trauma that you never bother to process.
Cebba dragged herself out of Willow, dousing her with that icy cold sensation. All Willow did was glared at Cebba, but the older woman gazed at Willow with eyes she'd never seen before. They glimmered with tears, but not because she pitied the Gryffindor. Cebba kneeled down and clasped Willow's cheek with her ghostly hand. The Gryffindor didn't back away, because as much as she wanted to, Cebba's soft, cool touch and unnatural gentleness froze her in place.
"You need to face your life head-on, Willow. It's how you deal with everything except the one thing in your life that you need to bluntly fix. Please, Willow, if there's ever one thing I ask of you, do this! I can't stand to see you destroy yourself from the inside out anymore! None of this is your fault, so stop trying to blame yourself! You deserve a loving family! You deserve your loyal-as-hell friends! You deserve a perfect love life! You deserve everything!"
Willow closed her eyes. "How do I know you're not just saying that?"
"Because I wouldn't use up your energy just to say something meaningless. I know how exhausted you already are."
"I'm...fine."
"No, you're not, and stop saying that to get me to go away. I live inside your head anyway. Not only do I see what you go through on a daily basis, but I can feel it, and it's agonizing to watch you slip away. You've ignored yourself for too long, Willow. Self-care is difficult for Gryffindors- I'm aware- but you have to try. Try to let yourself feel. Try to let others in. If not for yourself, for the sake of everyone's heart that breaks watching you crumble."
Willow opened her eyes, expression devoid of emotion. Cebba was kneeling in front of her. Willow wanted so badly to do as she said, to allow herself to feel, to go through every little thing that's hurt her, to unpack all the words she left unsaid. But she couldn't, because she knew all to well that moment she opened up, there would be no going back, and she would never recover. Willow swallowed hard, trying to keep her face from giving her away.
"I'll try, Cebba, I'll try."
"Promise?"
"...Promise."
Cebba watched Willow for a moment longer, then sighed. "I'll stop draining your energy now. Just...just try for me, for everyone, okay? You promised."
She returned to Willow's mind, and silence swarmed over the campsite once more. The sound was deafening so soon after Cebba's caring voice. Willow squeezed her eyes shut again, refusing to let sadness overwhelm her. She didn't have time to process her grief. There would be a time, someday, when all of this was over, but for now she had to use it as fuel. If she left words unsaid, there was a reason to keep living. She had to give herself a reason to survive. Without it, her only motivation was a prophecy that attempted to murder her friends.
The prophecy! Willow sat bolt upright. She'd almost forgotten about it! What if it had decided to come true while they were at the Ministry? Had she run out of time? Were her friends being sentenced to death as she sat there? Willow whacked her head with the heel of her palm. How could she be so stupid! Her friends were in mortal danger, and she'd let them defend her, against an army of Death Eaters! They were damn lucky a single one of them made it out alive, much less all of them! What kind of friend was she?
A shitty one, that's for sure, Willow grumbled to herself.
Phantoms of her imagination filled her mind's eye: Neville, struck dead on the crumbling Ministry floor; Lisa, a trickle of blood escaping her mouth; Oliver, his broken body twisted under massive concrete wreckage. Willow tried to shut them out, but they kept renewing themselves, transforming into increasingly horrifying scenes. Then more of her friends were there, captured, beaten, bloodied, held at wandpoint, tortured. Willow plugged her ears, trying to drown out their screams.
Stop it! That's not real! STOP IT!
But the images were so vivid, so life-like, that Willow hardly believed her own pleas. Her family now entered the mix. Abuela and Abuelo, trampled underfoot; her uncles, running for their life; her father, pinned against a wall by a hideous Death Eater; then, worst of all, Grace. She was screeching at the top of her lungs, taking wandfire from all sides, begging for the person to stop. They made her repeat horrible sentences, beat her until blood seeped from her cheekbone. Grace had no choice but to give in.
The worst part was, that last one was real.
Willow suddenly gasped, her eyes fluttering open. She glanced around, taking in Buckbeak's and Sirius's sleeping forms. Cold sweat dripped from her hairline. Her shirt was soaked with it. She came to the realization that she'd nodded off. Of course. Now she wouldn't even be able to sleep peacefully.
Willow took a moment to catch her breath, then checked her watch. They'd been in the same place for an hour. It was time to get moving. Fixing her hair, and desperately trying to get the colour back in her face, she approached Sirius and shook him awake. He was too groggy to notice anything. Buckbeak was aroused shortly, then they were off again, soaring just beneath the clouds.
Sirius didn't say a word for the longest time. Willow was glad for it, considering her voice would tremble so soon after the nightmares. Eventually, he shook off sleepiness, and he sighed.
"Isn't it beautiful? The night sky?"
"Yeah, it is."
"I was named after a constellation, you know. My mum was big into that sort of thing. Her personality wasn't nearly as bright as the stars, though."
"I was named after a tree, so that's a better story than mine."
Sirius let out a chuckle. "No, anything's better than my story. I hope no one experiences that kind of childhood."
"Me too." Willow's eyes were dazzled by a gap in the clouds, revealing hundreds of sparkling stars. "I always liked stargazing. I used to do it all the time when I was little, back when things were...well, not like they are now. Sometimes I sneak out into the Forbidden Forest just to lose myself in their glow."
"I used to do that, too, with Regulus." Willow flinched, but Sirius didn't notice. "It was best part of my childhood. We were close back then. He would always tease me about being named after a dog. How ironic that my animagus turned out to be one."
"Huh. What do you think my animagus would be?"
"Can't you turn into anything you want?"
"Yeah, but what do you think represents me on the deepest level? It's cool and all to transform- not to mention, flying is awesome- but it's impersonal. I can change based on the situation. I want to know what truly represents me, want to know the animal that's hiding within me. It would probably tell me more about myself than I know."
"You are terrible at judging your emotions, I'll give you that. But becoming an animagus is dangerous."
"Says the one that did it illegally at fifteen."
"Okay, it's not that bad, but to have a mandrake leaf stuck to the roof of your mouth for a whole month makes everything taste horrible. Sometimes I can still taste it in the back of my throat. Disgusting. Oh, and don't forget that part about brewing the potion, then drinking it during a lightning storm."
"Is this your way of telling me how to do it?"
"I have no idea what you're talking about." His smirk said otherwise.
Willow chortled. "Okay, I'll try it sometime. I'm excited to see."
Dawn fully emerged, and the runaways were again forced to hunker down and wait out the blinding sunlight. Willow found a stream and may or may not have started a splashing war with Sirius. Buckbeak joined in, and soon they could almost call themselves clean. It took no time at all for them to dry off in the summer heat, but Willow still felt soaked hours later, the humidity pressing in. The temperature unfortunately continued to rise throughout the day. Willow never sweated more in her life, and had never missed showers like she had in those crucial hours.
Thankfully, twilight peeked out from behind the afternoon sunshine, and they took to the purpling sky once more. Sirius nodded off in no time. Willow wanted to sleep in the worst way, but she was afraid of what visions would haunt her in her dreams. She'd gone a few days without sleep before; it could be feasible to try again. Buckbeak was the only one who actually needed to rest; he was doing the hard work for them.
By the time dawn greeted her bloodshot eyes, Willow was coaxing Buckbeak lower and lower to the ground. They'd arrived so far south from England that they couldn't possibly be found. The climate here was tropical, and although Willow had no idea what country they were in, she could taste the salt in the air. The Mediterranean Sea was close. They were almost free!
Willow almost fell off Buckbeak when he jerked to the left. She grasped for a better grip on Sirius, tightening her thighs around the hippogriff's back. The creature had found something worth checking out, apparently. They veered this way and that, Buckbeak seemingly undecided on where to land, when suddenly he made a beeline towards the ground. Sirius woke up in the nick of time, and together he and Willow jumped off the crazy creature's back. They tumbled in sand and soft foliage for several feet before rolling to a stop.
Willow blew her hair out of her face. "Buckbeak! What are you- seriously?"
Buckbeak cocked his head, as if wondering why Willow was upset. He held a small mammal in his beak, which was still scrambling to get away. Before Willow could stop him, Buckbeak crunched down with a sickening crack!, then proceeded to eat the rodent. She exchanged an exasperated glance with Sirius.
"That's an image I'm never going to get out of my head," he grumbled, grimacing when Buckbeak slurped the animal down. "Just be glad that's not our necks he's snapping."
"Deprive him of too much food, and we might be next."
Sirius shoved her over. "Yeah, because Queen of the Animal Kingdom here would totally let that happen."
"I mean, if I'm not in a helpful mood…" She rolled out of the way to avoid a blow from Sirius. "I'm kidding, only kidding!" Brushing herself off, she slowly rose to her feet. Her expression fell when she glanced at her surroundings. "Uh…Sirius? Where are we, exactly?" She spun in a circle when he didn't respond, trying to find him. "Sirius?"
"You're going to want to see this…"
Willow turned around to find Sirius standing between to ivy-laced trees. She brushed aside the vines, following Sirius's gaze, then clapped a hand to her mouth.
"Oh my God…"
Splaying out before them was a landscape that belonged in a travel book. An enormous, crystal-clear lake filled a vast area, surrounded by pure white sand. Palm trees dotted the beach, creating shady spots ever hundred meters or so. The tropical forest blossomed around the perimeter of the beach, laden with pinks, purples, greens, reds, and oranges. Birds of paradise sang and twittered, fluttering from tree to tree. Not a soul was in sight. Willow could hardly believe their luck. She ran up to Buckbeak and tackled him in a hug.
"You are the bestest, smartest, greatest hippogriff in the world!"
Buckbeak only nodded his head, more preoccupied with scanning for a tasty treat to follow up his bloody meal. Willow only laughed and threw herself at Sirius, too. Then, she flung her shoes off, ripped off her shirt, and dove into the lake. She surfaced to find Sirius shaking his head at her.
"What? It's freshwater! We're less likely to get killed by something in here!"
"You better knock on wood."
Willow rolled her eyes. "Just get your sorry arse in here and enjoy yourself for once."
Sirius finally relented and jumped into the lake, swimming to where Willow was admiring a school of brightly-coloured fish. They simply enjoyed the beauty around them for several hours, laying on the beach, exploring the underwater beauty, playing war on a pair of floating logs, and eventually racing each other around the perimeter of the lake. Sirius gave up after two minutes.
When afternoon melted into evening, they returned to the shore and dried off. The sun finally quit beating down on them, instead gently caressing their faces with comforting warmth. Willow stood facing in the light. Her hair burned auburn in the bright environment. She stared towards the edge of the lake, running sand between her toes. A pensive look entered her expression.
"Sirius? I never asked you what happened at Hogwarts. Harry said something went down with Lupin?"
Sirius sauntered up beside her. "Yeah. He...uh...went werewolf on us."
"Oh no..." Willow glanced at her friend, noticing the dullness creeping over his irises. "I didn't mean to make you sad, you don't have to talk about it if you don't want- "
"No, it's fine, you should know what happened." Sirius cleared his throat. "I did something incredibly stupid, that being going after Peter on the Hogwarts grounds. Don't look at me like that! I was in my animagus form! Anyway, my thinking was that Peter would still be in rat form, so I could easily catch him. But when I found him, he was with Ron, Harry, and Hermione, so things got complicated fast. Ron refused to let go of his rat, and I got a little desperate, so I dragged the poor boy all the way to the Shrieking Shack via the Whomping Willow tunnel.
"When I got there, Harry and Hermione were terrified for Ron- rightly so- and I shocked them by appearing as myself, fully human. I forgot that Harry thought I murdered his parents, so he attacked me, but Lupin showed up and intervened. Snivellus- sorry, Snape- showed up to further complicate things. It was a mess. Thankfully, Harry stunned Snape to knock him out, and we got a chance to tell him the full story."
"Which is...?" Willow prompted.
"Oh, right, I didn't tell you! Peter was supposed to be Lily and James Potter's secret keeper when they went into hiding. He sold them out to Voldemort out of fear and cowardice, however, and it got them killed. By the time I knew, it was too late, so I rushed to find Peter and confront him. He blew up a whole street. Yeah, I didn't do that. Peter cut off his own finger and transformed into an animagus just to fake his death. I was there at the scene of the crime, so I was falsely convicted.
"Harry took it in stride, thank Merlin, and Lupin and I were able to force Peter into his human form to prove the story. We planned to turn him into Dumbledore to prove his innocence, but when we got onto the grounds, the moon was out, and Lupin didn't get a chance to take his Wolfsbane Potion. I had to transform into my animagus to protect everyone. Unfortunately, Lupin overpowered me, and when Harry came to my aid, we ended up in a clearing full of dementors. We passed out rather quick."
"Next thing I knew, I woke up behind bars, and the Minister of Magic was telling me that the dementors were on their way to suck out my soul. But Harry and Hermione came to my rescue with Buckbeak, somehow, and that's how you found me in the sky."
Willow clapped a hand to her mouth. "Oh no- so Peter got away?"
Sirius nodded sadly. "Yes, and that was my only shot at proving my innocence. I'm going to remain a wanted criminal until I get another chance to catch that slippery sucker."
Willow took his hand in her own. "Hey, we'll figure out a way. My family would gladly build a case for you, and I'm sure every one of my friends would vouch for your innocence. Besides, I don't think a guy that nearly cries when he sees puppies is capable of killing Muggles in cold blood."
Sirius punched her in the arm. "I don't cry."
"But you come close."
"You're not wrong."
Sirius seemed to shake off his sadness. He took a few paces around the beach, examining the area. Willow allowed him to close off the subject. If that was how he wanted to deal with the situation, then she would let him. He needed time to be sad about it. He'd lost his only chance at freedom in twelve years, after all.
"Uh..." Sirius glanced at Willow. "Do you mind, you know, building us a shelter?"
"Oh! Yeah! Give me a minute- or five."
Jumping to her feet, Willow sized up the surrounding area. She found a rather large spot on the beach. Then, using a few trees as her markers, she walked in as straight a line as possible, pulsing her powers through her feet. Saplings sprouted wherever she stepped, then grew at a fantastic rate. Willow made a sharp right, going so many meters, turned right again, and finally turned right again, completing the square. The trees grew until their trunks turned brown, forming striped bark that pressed tightly against one another. Willow didn't stop the trees from growing until they had cemented into a single wall of palm trees. She raised her hands to command two walls to lean towards one another, and the trees instantly swept towards the middle of the structure. Their palm leaves interlocked with one another, and finally Willow stood back, brushing off her hands.
"Ta-da! One beach house, as you asked for!"
Sirius's jaw had dropped. He took a couple paces towards the dwelling, raising his eyebrows at Willow. He opened his mouth to say something, then abruptly stopped, a gleam flashing over his eyes. He smirked, shifting his gaze towards the house.
"It's okay."
Willow scoffed. "I'd like so see you do better. I even planned a rainwater system."
Sirius tried to keep his expression neutral, but the corners of his mouth trembled, and he finally gave way to a smile. "Gah! Fine! That was extremely impressive. How did you plan the rainwater system? How did you manage to line up the palm trees? How did you pull something off that involved planning?"
Willow gently punched him in the arm. "I didn't plan, that's how. Come on in."
Sirius followed her through the gap between palm trees. The soothing shade cooled their sun-maimed bodies instantaneously. Willow pulled a few palm leaves off the trees outside and made them into a makeshift bed. The wind rustled of them overhead, causing light to flicker on the sandy floor. In fact, the palm leaves let in the perfect amount of light, and directly below them, Willow was busy rolling a fallen log over. She pulled out her wand and was about to cast a spell when Sirius suddenly cried out.
"WAIT! Don't do that!"
"Why?"
Sirius's face went white, and he clutched his chest. He snatched Willow's wand away. "Have you not heard of the Trace? The Ministry of Magic can tell exactly what spell each and every underage witch and wizard casts until they're seventeen. If you use magic, they'll know where we are, and we're done for."
Willow gripped her stomach, suddenly queasy. "Oh."
"Here, just tell me what spell to use, and I'll do it. They can't track me."
Willow instructed Sirius, albeit a little distractedly, to clean off the log and to gauge a deep divet in it. They cleaned it off one more time, and their water basin was formed. Willow sat back, the overwhelming feeling of guilt eating away at her insides. She'd almost gotten them captured. Again. And it was entirely her fault.
Am I ever going to stop putting others in danger?
Willow distracted herself by going outside and scavenging for firewood. She found some more fallen logs, but they were far too heavy to carry. She ended up shape-shifting into a graphorn to shoulder the load. Sirius stepped outside and squeaked in fear at first, then realized it was Willow and rolled his eyes. He took out Willow's wand and hacked the pieces into smaller logs. She gathered more fallen palm trees for the next half hour, then transformed into a small griffin, ripping the palm leaves off with her sharp beak. They had a considerable pile after all the trees had been processed.
Sirius cast a spell, and a roaring fire was started just as the sun was dipping below the horizon. Willow transformed back into herself and dragged over a few palm leaves for them to sit on. She went to sit down and ended up falling hard on her butt.
"Ow...guess all that power is draining me fast," she groaned.
"If only we had some food, I'd help with that," Sirius said wistfully.
"It's okay, I can go without it for a little while."
Sirius held her gaze for a long moment. Willow could see a rollercoaster of emotions flicking through them, like a fast-forwarded movie. Then, without warning, his eyes filled with tears.
"I'm so sorry I got you into this mess," he said, hardly able to meet her gaze. "It's all my fault. I shouldn't have gone after Peter- I should have told the aurors what happened- I should have never gone after Peter when I knew there were aurors and dementors all over Hogwarts- "
"Hey! That's enough of the pity party!" Sirius stared at her, mouth dropping open. "I know! It sucks! Life sucks pretty bad for both of us right now! But we can't let them get into our heads." Willow spread her hands, gesturing to the gorgeous setting around them. "You see this? We're probably as close as we can get to the equator. Dementors won't come near this place. What's more, aurors are not going to waste their time outside of England. And you know what? It's not your fault that this dumbarse Peter screwed up everything! Stop blaming yourself when you know full well whose fault this is!"
Sirius swallowed hard, not meeting Willow's eyes. "But...now all your friends are taking the hit for me, too."
Willow shook her head. "That's the risk that we chose to take. Sirius, stop blaming yourself. It's not going to change what happened. The past is in the freaking past, so we've got to get over it."
Sirius glanced up at her. "You of all people know how hard that is."
Willow bit her lip. For a moment, she was afraid that she might break down in cry. Then, surprising herself, she rose to her feet and marched over to Sirius, wrapping him in a fierce hug. He melted into her embrace, sobbing unapologetically. Willow found herself on the verge of tears one moment, then as far away from having emotions as possible the next. She had to stay strong. Sirius needed her, her friends needed her, her family needed her- everyone needed her to be strong.
"I'm sorry," Sirius whimpered, detaching himself from Willow. "It's just- first Regulus, then Azkaban, then Peter, then Lupin, and now all this- it's not okay. It really isn't. I got to see my godson for mere minutes before he was ripped away again. Peter was my best friend, and now he's betrayed us, all of us..." He wiped his face. "It doesn't matter anymore. You're right. The past is the freaking past. Peter's nothing but a bitch now. I just have to deal with his consequences now."
"That's the spirit. Nothing like looking forward to a good arse-kicking to get your fire back."
Sirius shot a look at her. "You realize that you can't be a hypocrite now, right? I know that you think leaving your friends at the Ministry is all your fault, but it's not. Like you said earlier- it all boils down to Peter's betrayal. None of this is your fault."
Willow nodded, though when she spoke, her voice was hoarse. "I know." She cleared her throat, rising to her feet. "I think I'm going to find us some food- "
Without warning, a horrible illusion of the world tipping wayward sent her to her knees. Vertigo slowly sent her toppling sideways, all sense of balance evaporating in an instant. Her stomach was terribly queasy. Weak electrical signals hummed throughout her body, as if calling for her to rest. She certainly was tired. Willow blinked her eyes hard, trying to refocus them, but everything remained blurry.
"Willow! What happened?"
Sirius's voice sounded far away, as if he were shouting down a long tunnel. She collapsed fully to the ground. The soft sand swelled around her increasingly numb body. She flipped over onto her back. Vaguely registering the that the stars were shining above, the world grew dark, and the night swallowed her whole.
What is your name?
Grace Fawley.
Willow tried to cry out, but made no sound. She was behind the glass again, watching helplessly, as Lucius beat the life out of Grace Guerrero, replacing her with Grace Fawley instead.
What- do- we- think- of- the- Guerreros!
We- we hate them!
LOUDER!
I HATE THE GUERREROS!
The scene suddenly shimmered, then disappeared altogether, being replaced with another memory. This time, Willow was sitting on the dungeon steps of the Fawley mansion. She was facing Grace- no, this time, it was her mum.
I don't remember seeing you off to Hogwarts...did you get into Slytherin?"
Oh, no, I got into Gryffindor.
Really? I'm so proud of you! Carlos and I- we always knew you were a Gryffindor.
All of a sudden, the scene reverted back to the former memory, then jumped ahead to the dungeon steps again, then flipped back, and Willow found herself turning round and round in circles, not knowing which memory was happening at which time, lost in a cycle of relief and pain that seemed to have no end. She screamed, but all that came of it was silence. Willow pounded against the walls of her invisible cage. She wanted out. She wanted to wake up. She wanted to be free of her pain. Was that too much to ask?
Grace, don't do it!
Av-avada...K-Kedavra...
GRACE, NO!
Willow sat bolt upright. A trickle of cold sweat dripped down her forehead, then plopped onto the sand. She wiped the moisture off her face with the back of her hand. Willow forced her eyes and ears to focus on the present moment. Every time she blinked, images of the dream threatened to swallow her whole. She took deep breaths to calm her racing heart. She was fine. That was all in the past. She couldn't do anything about it now, even though she wanted nothing more than to race back to the Fawley mansion and wrap her mum in a tight hug…
God, I'm never going to sleep again, Willow grumbled to herself.
She rose to her feet and stretched her aching back, hearing a few pops in her spine as she did so. Sirius was still fast asleep. Not wanting to wake him, Willow tiptoed out of the palm tree hut, the morning sunrise greeting her with stunning warm colours. Nearby, Buckbeak uncurled himself from a sleeping position and called softly to her. She bowed and approached him, then spent the next several minutes stroking his feathers.
"What do you think, Beaky? Is this going to be okay for a little while?"
The hippogriff stared at her blankly, only tossing his head as a response. Willow sighed, leaning against Buckbeak's flank. She gazed at the beautiful lake in front of them.
"I really wish I could enjoy this," she murmured.
"You could, if you would stop bottling everything up and giving yourself nightmares."
Willow shot to her feet. "Sirius! I- uh- sorry, just feeling sorry for myself again. I didn't mean to wake you."
"No, I was awake two hours ago when you were fidgeting in your sleep." He leaned against the palm tree hut, eyes softening as he looked at Willow. "You had a vivid nightmare. How long has that been going on?"
Willow wouldn't meet his eyes. "I…I can't remember."
"It was you Mum again." She nodded. "I get it. From what you told me, it was absolute hell, what they put you through. Merlin...you'd think that the Ministry of Magic would at least have some decency with children..."
"I'm not exactly a child- "
"But that doesn't make it any more right!" Sirius kicked some sand in frustration. "First they send me to Azkaban without so much as a hair of incriminating, hard evidence, and now this; they've got to get their act together at some point!"
"Sirius, you don't think they'll...you know...do the same thing to my friends?"
He lifted his head, staring at Willow in surprise. Then, seeming to snap out of his venting, he walked towards Willow and wrapped her in a gentle hug. For once, she didn't freeze up and bristle at the close touch. Willow sank into Sirius's arms, wanting to lose herself in his comforting embrace, just this once. She wanted to stop being strong. She wanted to let all the emotions out. She was so sick and tired of fighting the nightmares, the visions, the condemning destinies; she wanted it to all disappear into thin air, like it had never existed.
"They're going to be okay, Willow, I promise," Sirius whispered. "You hear me? Nothing bad is going to happen to them. We'll make sure of that, if it's the last thing we do."
"I know," she said, swallowing the lump in her throat. "I know."
Sirius guided her to their makeshift log-seat and sat her down, still clasping tightly onto the now trembling Gryffindor. Willow had never felt so weak in her entire life. She hated being helpless, but she'd been fighting her entire life, ever since she could fend for herself. At some point, she had to break, and unfortunately, she was brushing up against the edge.
"Look, I know it sucks. Family's hard. Mine was no better or worse than the Fawleys. But you can't give up now." Sirius brushed Willow's hair out of her face. "You're so much stronger than I ever was- than I am now. I'm a terrible example of how to deal with emotional trauma. So I'm giving you advice, from one hypocrite to another: stop keeping it all inside. I've seen what it's done to you over the few months I've known you. It's killing you, Willow. You make yourself feel like you're the one that's failing over and over. That couldn't be any farther from the truth.
"Whatever happened, happened. It's okay to be human for a couple minutes here and there- no one even has to know- and then you can move on. I just can't stand by and watch you deteriorate any further. It's killing me. You're such a bright, incredible witch; someday, you will get past all this, and when that happens, you'll do amazing things, I know it. For now, just promise me that you'll talk when something's bothering you. Please?"
Willow looked at Sirius through glassy eyes. Something inside her shifted as she stared at his pleading expression. There was so much buried in that sad sparkle in his eyes: family trauma, broken spirits, abandoned dreams, and lost friends. He had lost enough that he could relate to Willow on a deeply personal level. It was like he had lived an alternate version of her life, aside from the extra powers. She bit her lip, coming to the realization that she knew exactly what Sirius was trying to do.
"Willow, promise me. Please."
"I- I promise," she croaked.
Sirius's eyes lingered on her for a moment, then he looked away, staring at the lake for several minutes. They sat there, saying nothing, yet simultaneously knowing a thousands words were being whispered in the silence. To her surprise, Willow found herself speaking first.
"I dreamed about my mum again. It- it wasn't exactly what you would think." Sirius instantly turned to her with an interested expression. "I was watching her being tortured by Lucius, then it flipped back to the moment in the Fawley mansion where she snapped out of it. There were several increments where it flashed back and forth between these, and all of a sudden, I was way back in the past, back to the time when- when she- "
Willow lost all ability to speak. She opened her mouth, then closed it, her words threatening to escape and stay inside all at the same time. Willow closed her eyes, feeling the moisture forming on her eyelashes. She wanted to tell Sirius so badly...but could she handle telling the truth?
"Can I- can I tell you something? Something I've never told anyone?"
"Of course, anything."
Willow swallowed hard. "I- I used to have- "
"Scree!"
Willow and Sirius shot to their feet at the same time Buckbeak perked up from his nap. They frantically glanced towards the skies, shielding their eyes from the light. Willow recognized that sound anywhere- it was one of her beloved magical creatures! Within seconds, a winged animal appeared against the clouds, the beautiful chocolate brown feathers standing out against the fluffy white. Willow let out a piercing whistle, which got the creature's attention. It instantly spiraled down towards them until it nearly crash-landed fifteen meters away. Griffin managed to rise to his feet, however, unharmed, and raced towards Willow.
"Griffin!" she cried, tackling him in a hug. The griffin affectionately nuzzled her cheek, chirping contentedly. Willow kneeled beside her precious creature and gripped his feathers. "Oh my goodness- how on Earth did you find me?"
Griffin flapped his wings, then tossed his head, as if gesturing over his shoulder. Willow peered beyond him to see Phoebe and Fidget gradually coming to their senses. She gasped and immediately tore across the beach, scooping up each one into an arm.
"Phoebe! Fidget! How- I don't even want to know how you stayed on Griffin's back. But you found me!"
Phoebe chattered moodily, as if to say she didn't want to talk about the journey. Fidget scrambled up Willow's arm and dove into her shirt pocket, immediately shifting into the best sleeping position. They both looked exhausted. Glancing over her shoulder, she noticed that even Griffin, who was always a bundle of energy, was showing signs of fatigue. Willow helped Phoebe climb onto her back and headed back towards the palm tree hut, where Buckbeak was eyeing the newcomers with disdain.
"Buckbeak, you be nice to them, or I'm going to start skinning and cooking your food," she warned.
Shaking his feathers, Buckbeak let out an agitated series of clicks and groans, then turned his back to her and curled up to fall asleep. Willow rolled her eyes. Of course Buckbeak was the moodiest one. He was a hippogriff. Placing a hand on Griffin, she guided her creatures to the opposite wall of the palm tree hut, making a large bed of palm leaves. Phoebe and Griffin instantly laid down beside one another and fell asleep. Sirius joined her when Griffin's snores could be audibly heard.
"Wow. You've got some loyal creatures, Willow."
She grinned. "Yeah, they're pretty cool. I'm lucky to have them. I guess they just love me, for some reason."
"They can tell who the best people are, that's all." Sirius's expression faded as he gazed at Willow. "If you want to tell me what you were going to earlier, I'm still here to listen. If not, that's okay. I'm not going to force you to spill out all your secrets."
Willow let out a half-hearted laugh, but inside, her stomach muscles were tearing at her internal organs. "Good. I think I still need to build up a little courage first."
"And that's perfectly fine."
Without warning, a tawny owl swooped in overhead, dropping a bundle at Willow's feet. She glanced up just in time to see Iris landing on the roof of the palm tree hut. Her face lit up as her owl hooted in recognition.
"Iris! I was wondering when you'd find us, brilliant girl!" The owl cocked her head. "No, sorry, I don't have treats, you'll have to beg Dad for some more when you go home. So what did you bring us?"
Sirius bent down to pick up the letters. "You've got two, one from Carlos, and one from your girlfriend."
"Paige is not- ugh, nevermind, just hand them over."
Heart hammering against her ribs, Willow ripped the envelopes open, quickly scanning their contents.
Mi hija,
I hope this letter finds you safe and sound. We met Oliver at King's Cross Station, and he explained what happened. Your creatures are safe at home, although Griffin and Phoebe took off with Fidget. I'm assuming they found you by now.
Molly and her Death Eater army have disappeared without a trace, and Grace is at the Fawley mansion. I've heard from some sources that the Ministry is attempting to launch a full-scale investigation into the Fawley Mansion "Massacre," as they're calling it. It's only a matter of time before they come for Oliver and your friends, but we're already putting together a defense team, and Professor McGonagall owled us to offer her services. She'll be here tomorrow.
We miss you so much and hardly sleep with worry. Please send us word of how you're doing.
Te quiero,
Carlos
Willow covered her hand with her mouth, falling to her knees in the sand. She took a few gasping breaths to calm her shaky lungs. Her father was okay. Her friends were in safe hands. If the Guerreros were going to defend them- never mind Abuela and McGonagall- they would be cleared of charges in no time. Willow exhaled and unfolded Paige's letter.
Willow,
We're coming to find you. Deandra and my grandfather need to go into hiding, and I'm not leaving them again. They're incredible trackers, so we'll be there shortly after this letter reaches you. We all need to lay low together and figure out what to do next.
Hey- we're both fugitives now. Never saw that coming. Better enjoy the thrill while it lasts.
The Ministry took everyone into custody last night who was involved in the "massacre". I barely escaped in time, thanks to a warning from Miranda. Remind me to thank him for literally being the best human ever.
We have a lot to catch you up on. Deandra and Grandpa have promised a big reveal of our family, too, so get ready for a show.
I can't wait to see you. You better not be hurt.
Paige
Sirius peeked over Willow's shoulder, then let out a cry. "Merlin's beard, your girlfriend and her family are coming? It must be meet-the-family time in your relationship."
"Sirius, not now! We have to help them find us!"
Willow shielded her eyes, peering around the beach for some sort of significant structure. Nothing struck her as special. Her thoughts darted to the crystal lake, but it couldn't have been the only body of water around these parts. They needed to make something clearly man-made, even if it was only temporary, to stand out from the massive paradise jungle.
Glancing at the palm leaves, Willow suddenly had an idea. She grabbed a handful of medium-sized logs and tossed them onto the sand. Marching off towards the nearby trees, she tested a few vines, finally yanking them down and gathering them towards her work area. Willow rearranged the logs into a platform, then tied them together. She secured a trio of logs into an upright position on the left of the platform. Finally, after grabbing three palm leaves, she created a makeshift sail and tied it to the "mast" until the vines were taut. Willow heaved her project into the water and swam it to the middle of the lake.
"What in God's name is that?" Sirius asked when she returned to the shore.
"A boat, can't you tell?" When Sirius opened his mouth to make a smart remark, she quickly added, "It's not supposed to be the best boat in the world, okay? It's just a sign so that Paige knows where we are."
"Smart. I used my brain too, actually, and I started a letter to reply to your parents, but I figured you should add onto it before I send Iris back."
"Definitely."
Sirius handed her the wrinkled piece of paper and worn pencil- two items he and Willow always kept on hand. She reviewed what Sirius had already written about their predicament (which was absolutely raving about the crystal-clear water). Then, adding a sentence or two of her own to reassure Carlos that she was perfectly fine, she folded up the letter and attached it to Iris's foot. Willow watched her tawny owl take off and disappear into the fluffy white clouds.
"Good luck," she whispered.
After staring at the sky for half an hour, losing themselves in though, Sirius came to his senses and asked Willow how she was feeling, especially after passing out last night. She explained to him that she'd overexerted her powers once again, that was all. Sirius could tell that she was leaving something out, however, and pressed ever so slightly. Willow relented and finally admitted that she was still quite beat up from the battle at the Ministry. Sirius convinced her to sit down and show him her wounds, so she begrudgingly lifted her shirt to reveal her healing stab wound.
To her surprise, he didn't freak out. Willow glanced down and was genuinely shocked to see how much progress it had made. Madam Pomfrey had patched her up perfectly, as usual. There was barely a pink tint to the skin now. It would be a white line within no time, simply a memory of a harrowing moment. Memories of her mum's reaction sent pangs of sorrow through her system. She immediately shut the images out, focusing on Pomfrey's miracle workings in removing her raging infection.
Without warning, a shadow passed over the lake. Sirius and Willow looked up to see three shadows zooming overhead. Willow's heart sparked with joy when she recognized Paige, Deandra, and Grandpa Terrell on broomsticks. She waved her arms, laughing when Paige made a goofy face at her. The Terrells landed near the palm tree hut, and the moment they touched down, Willow tackled Paige to the sand, hugging her with all the force her muscles possessed.
"Wow, okay, I missed you too," Paige chuckled.
"Oh my God! You're here! I thought for sure- Merlin, I can't explain how happy I am to see you."
Paige smirked. "There's a way. It doesn't involve words."
"You sure you could handle that?"
"Er, guys? Do you need a room?" Sirius interrupted.
Willow instantly reddened. She hid it the best she could, however, and blew raspberries at Sirius. Peeling herself off of Paige, the girls rose to their feet, taking turns greeting the adults. Deandra and Grandpa Terrell shook hands with Sirius. Then, the merry moment was over.
"We should sit down. There's a lot we need to catch you guys up on," Deandra said.
The five placed themselves in a circle on the sand. Paige inched closer to Willow, but for once, it didn't make the younger girl blush. She was so focused on hearing news about her friends and family that nothing else mattered. She needed to know, before it could eat away at her any longer.
"Things escalated quickly after you passed out," Deandra began. "The Ministry was already beginning to arrive five minutes after we floo-traveled. Madam Pomfrey tended to our injuries, then sent for Professor McGonagall. They hid us in Dumbledore's Study while the aurors came looking for the 'attackers' and Sirius.
"Dumbledore was kind to us. He gave us food and butterbeer, then sat us down after the Minister left and explained the situation. He told us that you and Sirius had escaped, and that the Fawleys were pressing charges to the full extent of the law. They were bound determined to find us, apprehend us, and give us a death sentence. We needed to get as far away from there as possible, and fast.
"Professor McGonagall called upon the Weasley twins and had them show us the way to a secret underground tunnel to Hogsmeade. We made it to the entrance, and they got us sealed in right before the Ministry officials came tramping down the corridors. They refused to give into their questioning, and they were taken into custody for it. They saved us; I don't know how we can repay them."
Willow sucked in a breath. "And the others? What about them? Were they taken too?"
Paige cast her gaze downward, face burning. "Yeah. Every last one of them. Lucius pointed out Oliver and Sue, so of course, the rest clambered to their side and refused to let them go. I heard the racket from corridors away. They were all taken to the Ministry in the end."
Willow rubbed Paige's back. "It's not your fault. We were trying to do the right thing, all of us. It's my dumb fault for dragging you into this mess."
"But would he still be alive if we didn't go?" Paige asked, nodding towards her grandfather.
Deandra sighed. "It's all a huge mess, and it's only going to get worse. We have to accept that and deal with the consequences. You tried to do the right thing; we can't ask for anything more than that."
Paige didn't appear convinced. Willow noticed that Sirius's eyes were filling with tears, too, so she cleared her throat and changed the subject.
"Uh, what was that other thing in the letter? You know, the big reveal?"
Deandra glanced at Grandpa Terrell. "Frodi, you're the one that knows the stories best. Care to share?"
Frodi's eyes sparkled. He sat up straight, shifting his gaze from Paige to Sirius to Willow and back to Paige again. "Are you sure you're ready for this?"
"What do you mean?" Paige asked.
"You remember what Deandra has told you, right? That our family is descended from a powerful lineage?"
"Yeah…"
"Well, long ago, a very, very potent wizard was sorted into Slytherin. He was the epitome of power, yet he chose to seldom use it. As he grew up, he faced unimaginable hardship, and his magic only grew as a result of it. He could crack open mountains with a wave of his hand, level continents with a flick of his wrist, crush entire civilizations with a snap of his fingers. But he didn't let the power go to his head.
"His family kept him honest. He had a wife, and eventually their children discovered their own share in this blood-born power. He and his family were never seen in public, as he didn't want them to become targets of envious wizards, such as the Fawleys, his rivals in school. No one knows what became of this wizard and his family- except for us."
Paige's eyes widened. "Wait a second, does this mean what I think it does?"
Willow's heart thumped as Grandpa Terrell nodded. "Yes, Paige. We are the descendants of this wizard. I was in Slytherin as a boy, and so were your mother and Deandra. You're one of the few to end up in Gryffindor, but you possess the same ruthless spirit that this wizard once did. It's the reason you can cast such powerful and complicated spells at such a young age."
"Who is he? This wizard?" Paige pressed.
Frodi's mouth twitched upward in a smile. "Merlin."
The weight of the statement punched Willow like a sledgehammer to the stomach. Paige's eyebrows shot up, and her mouth dropped open. She appeared as though she'd gone into shock.
"You're- you're kidding."
"No, Paige, I'm not. Our family is descended directly from Merlin."
Willow finally remembered to breathe. Paige…was descended from Merlin? As in The Merlin? The one that they referred to in History in Magic? Merlin's blood flowed through Paige's veins? How was that even possible? Professor Binns had told them that Merlin's family died out a long time ago, disappearing into the mountains, never to be heard from again. Yet here his family was, alive, but down to its last three members, nearly hunted to extinction by the Fawleys. Willow suddenly had the urge to remove herself as far away from Paige as possible. She didn't deserve to be in the presence of someone so exceptional, let alone someone from a family that her own flesh and blood was attempting to destroy.
"Hang on, am I hearing you right?" Sirius asked. "Paige- this bull-headed girl sitting over here- has Merlin's blood flowing through her veins?"
"That's correct," Deandra said.
"Jesus, who trusted her with that kind of power?"
The four let out a hearty laugh, and Willow found herself joining in. Leave it to Sirius to decompress a tense situation, she thought. Willow slowly began to adjust to the idea of Merlin's family being synonymous with Paige. The older girl appeared to quickly accept the information, goofily wiggling her eyebrows at the younger Gryffindor.
"Watch out, Willow, I'm going to smite you with lightning if you're not nice to me."
Willow rolled her eyes. "Yeah, right. I'll just shift into a dragon and deflect it."
Paige's eyes sparkled. "Hey, I never thought about it this way, but now we're even. I'm the prodigious child of Merlin's bloodline, and you're the famous child of the prophecy."
Willow grinned at first, then abruptly dropped the expression. Something about what Paige said triggered an idea in her memory. It tickled the back of her mind, agonizingly close to the surface. Prophecy. What had the lines been? Unless she follows the descendant of Hogwarts' great...The trail blazing of a life born of joy is the path she shall take...
Suddenly, Willow sat bolt upright.
"Oh my God, Paige, it's your patronus!" she exclaimed.
"What?"
"Paige, the prophecy! Do you remember the third stanza? Follow the descendent of Hogwarts' great…Hogwarts' great was Merlin! He was sorted into Slytherin and went there hundreds of years ago! You're his descendent! And the trail blazing of a life born of joy is the path she shall take; I'm supposed to follow your patronus!"
Paige's face went slack. "Holy crap, you're right!"
"But she can't cast it; she's still got the Trace on her," Sirius said.
"Oh…right." Willow kicked the sand. "At least I know where to go next, though. That's one step closer than before." She flipped a rock with her toe, heart beating like the wings of a hummingbird. "Descendent of Merlin…wow. That's definitely not something I saw coming. Especially not within a world-altering prophecy."
"Guess I'm tied to you by fate now, huh?" Paige said, shouldering the younger Gryffindor. "It's like the world is trying to bring us together."
"That's terrifying."
"Nah. I'd say it's right."
Willow looked up to see Paige smirking at her. She broke into a grin after a few moments. "I guess you're right. I hate to drag you into this mess, but I'm glad it's you, Paige."
The older Gryffindor brushed Willow's hair behind her ear. "Me too, Willow, me too."