He was certain his eyes had been closed for no more than an hour when he heard a soft whimper come from across the room. It was quiet, barely audible at all, but his eyes snapped open anyway because he knew who the sound belonged to. Her face was smooth and unbothered from what he could tell, but her breathing was off. Each puff of air was short and shallow; it was clear she was having a nightmare. He expected her to cry out at any moment and was relieved when she shot forward, her jaw clenched tight. He waited for her to gather herself before raising a brow at her in question. "Are you alright?"
Releasing a shaky breath she nodded. "I'm fine."
Her face was drained of color, even her usual blush was gone. "You're shaking, Ral."
The small space between her brows furrowed together in confusion while lifting her hands up in front of her. They were, in fact, trembling and he watched as she lowered them slowly while trying her best to produce an amiable grin. "I'm just cold."
She had yet to refer to him as 'captain' or 'sir' which told him that she was not fine. Petra was always careful of formalities when she spoke to him; he was almost certain she used his formal titles even when he wasn't around. He gave her a once over, noting that her trembling had not yet subsided and seemed to be getting worse. The last thing he needed was for her to get sick and bring that illness back to the barracks with them. There was no way in hell he would risk it, not when he hadn't had a cold since he was a child.
"Come here." His words came out harsh and demanding and he knew it, but he was still trying to convince himself that his actions were necessary. Even if she didn't get sick, her continued shaking and teeth chattering would keep him up all night.
She chewed on her bottom lip softly in hesitation. "I'm alright Captain-"
"Petra," he stopped her mid sentence and noticed as her doe eyes grew even wider at the mere use of her name. "It wasn't a request."
She nodded her head a couple of times before standing shakily and crossing the short distance between them. It was dark, save for a sliver of moonlight coming in through the window, and so he reached out to help guide her down in front of him. An accidental brush of his fingers against her waist told him just how tense she was. He couldn't help but wonder if it was because of her dream or him. He said nothing and instead spread her blanket over top of them; the added warmth seeming to calm her some. It wasn't until she leaned back against his chest that he began to wonder what exactly his intentions had been. Perhaps he had selfishly wanted nothing more than to hold her next to him.
They sat in comfortable silence for awhile, her head resting against his shoulder, and he waited hoping that she would fall asleep. Minuets passed and it seemed as if she was content with just laying against him, her eyes softly shut. She was warm and although he had tried to keep his hands at a distance, their current position had forced them around her sides. Her skin was soft and with every content sigh that escaped her lips he found that he was holding in his. She was so small, even compared to him, and seemed to fit perfectly within his embrace. It was difficult not to want to slide his arms around her fully. He had to do something- anything, to steady his mind and keep himself from pulling her in tighter. "What were you dreaming of?"
Even in the darkness of the room he noticed her dainty eyebrows crease in to a pained frown. "My mother. I was dreaming of her death"
"When did she die?"
"Years ago... I was young, but I was there."
I'm sorry. He wanted to say it but he couldn't. It's not that he wasn't sorry for her; he was. Sorry for her and everyone else who had ever lost someone. There were even times when he allowed himself to be sorry for everything he had lost, but that didn't happen often. The point being that offering up words of apology seemed to be more harmful than helpful these days. Apologizing for death when it was a constant occurrence had forced any meaning from the word; so instead he simply pulled her in closer to him, allowing his nose to brush the top of her hair. Even in the dead of winter she smelled of summer. Lavender and honey. Her scent alone was intoxicating to him. He was surprised when her delicate hand slid over top of his; he knew it was her way of reassuring him that she understood what he didn't say. Somehow she managed to do that often. She could read any expression of his, his body language, and decipher it's meaning.
"It's not as terrible as you'd think. The nightmares are... easy. I watch it happen and then I wake up and I know it's over." She gave a sad chuckle and snuggled against him further, her cheek now resting on his chest. "I'm sure I sound insane-"
"No." He didn't think so. She sounded like someone who had seen something that could never be unseen. "It's the dreams where nothing happens that fuck with your head." And it was true. Over the years he's had many of those dreams. He would find himself with the ones he'd lost sitting on a rooftop. They'd talk and laugh about nothing and everything. And when he finally woke up it was as if he'd lost them all over again.
"Mm. Maybe I'll tell you about her one day. She was so beautiful- my mother. So lovely."
He wanted to tell her that she was also those things, but he knew he never would. It'd be pointless after all; but-
Violent vibrations began jostling them all at once and before he had time to even think they were both up strapping into their gear. A scream- and then another. Shit. He knew what it was without having to peek out of the small window in their room. Their room. He scoffed at the term.
Petra's wide eyes grew wider at his sudden amusement and he simply lifted his chin in the direction of the door. "Let's go."
Chaos. Absolute fucking chaos. The new recruits were running around frantic while a few senior members, including some of his own, were attempting to chase them down. The snowfall had stopped but now their steps were sinking into the fluff beneath them, they'd be at a disadvantage even on horses.
"Oiy! Stop chasing the brats and get on your damn horses."
They didn't have much time before the impending horde of mindless beasts were upon them. The early light of the dawn allowed them to see the distant titans lumbering towards them. From what he could make out, there were at least fifteen. But that wasn't what alarmed him. It was the suddenness of their arrival that did. As if they were led right to them. It didn't make sense. They hadn't seen more than a handful on their ride yesterday, and now this. He could see the blonde hair of his commander galloping towards him.
Erwin shook his head at the madness playing out in front of them. "Make for the trees outside of the gates. I have know doubt we can take them out, but we need the recruits out of the way."
"You're the boss." Giving the man a final once over before setting off to the task of tracking down his team.
It was almost comical. The screaming faces of the recruits, Oruo and Eld chasing after the overly frantic ones. Gunther threatening the few who were crying while Petra tried instead to shush them. He could almost lau-
"Petra."
"Sir!"
"Stop wiping their tears and get them on their horses."
"Sorry, Captain."
He could almost laugh.
It seemed like an eternity before everyone was finally on their horses and they were racing towards the gates. It wasn't until they emerged over the final hill and the walls were visible that his face drained of the little color he had. You've got to be fucking kidding.
She could feel her breathing becoming ragged as her heart bounded in her chest. How long had they been fighting? Hours? She knew it hadn't been long but it felt like an eternity. And to think she had been so happy that they were close to home only to be struck with fear when the walls finally came into view. There had been a crowd of titans waiting to greet them instead of their usual crowd of disheveled townspeople. Admittedly, she still wasn't sure which was worse. Although her muscles were beginning to scream with each swipe of her blades, the pain was still easier to deal with compared to seeing the faces of families mourning their loss. Something she had been forced to endure after each return from their missions. She hoped this time would be different.
So far the recruits were safe and accounted for, sitting high up on the branches of large trees surrounding the walls, out of reach. As long as they remained there they would live; but with each wave of titans they cut down another sprung up in its stead, and she began to wonder if running would end up being their only option. But how would they manage to get a group of twenty kids safely within the gates?
She glanced around for her team, spotting Oruo and Eld's strained faces and giving them a curt nod of recognition. It was one of their many ways of checking up on the status of one another. She wasn't sure when exactly they had created their silent mean of communication, but it was something she was glad for. Verbal communication required air, of which, she currently didn't have. Leaping down from her branch she landed across from Gunther, his face the same crimson as the rest of them. He gave her a quick once over before jutting his chin in a separate direction. Levi. She hadn't asked for his location and yet he had given it to her. Was she really so obvious in her concern for him? Sucking in a painful breath she decided to use the air she had been gathering. "The Commander?"
"No idea. These assholes don't seem to be slowing down. Any ideas how this happened?"
"Yeah. I have a few." But her theories would have to wait. The branch she was kneeling on lurched with the added weight of another. "Captain." She nodded in greeting.
"These shitheads keep coming." He bristled.
Gunther made a noise in agreement while she studied her captains face; her eyes trailing from his narrowed gaze to the solid vein pulsing in his neck. The only indication that he, too, was beginning to lose steam. An involuntary shudder spread through her at the sight. Reign it in, Ral. "Sir, it's clear this isn't some kind of coincidence. What's our plan?"
He turned his cool gaze in her direction, seeming to focus in on her heaving chest. "We can't afford any casualties. The recruits are top priority. If we lose any of them it'll be a shit storm." He was right, of course. The survival rate of the survey corps was steadily dropping, along with the small amount of funding the were receiving. Another unsuccessful mission and it would seal their fate; any remaining funding would be cut altogether. "Petra, track down Oruo and Eld. Wait for my command."
"Sir." Gliding from where they had been perched she made her way to her remaining comrades, forcing her blades through the neck of a fifteen meter in her path before settling on a sturdy branch. Solo kills weren't a priority for her, but if it was unavoidable she would gladly take the risk.
"Pet, what are the captain's orders?"
She bristled at the use of such a name. She hated that stupid nickname. "Unless you want my blades slicing through you next, I suggest you use a different name, Oruo."
He simply returned her threat with a smug smile. Such an ass-
"Petra! The orders?" Eld shouted, shaking her from her thoughts.
"We keep fighting until the Captain says otherwise." It was all they could do. She doubted the military police would come to their aid. If anything they'd love to see them wiped out. It was probably their plan all along.
Time passed and they continued with their work of cutting down giants. Her skin was singed in different places from the blood that now covered her arms and neck. The cool air of the day helped to ease the intense steam coming from the titan's corpses. She made an attempt at wiping her hands on the fabric of her pants to help clean them before dragging the back of one over her brow. If there had been any doubts in her mind before, they were gone now. This was no normal attack. Whatever it was, it was meant to be their end.
"Petra."
The voice was familiar but it didn't belong to her captain. Instinctively she straightened herself quickly, ignoring the burn of protest from her back and legs. "Commander Erwin, Sir." She couldn't help herself from gazing in awe at his form. He wasn't Levi, but he wasn't terrible to look at either. His azure eyes pierced into hers and he chuckled, causing her lashes to flutter in confusion.
"I've already informed the others of my plan. We'll move through the trees in the opposite direction of the gate. Once we're far enough away, one of you will shoot off a flare that will alert Hange and her squad of our position. We'll have to go over the wall."
Over the wall? Was he insane? Their gear would only get them up half the distance, which would mean someone would have to be there to help them the rest of the way.
"Is something wrong?"
"Where is Captain Levi? I would have assumed he'd be the one telling me this." She added a quick sir to the end soas not to offend, but he simply ran a steady hand through his damp hair weaving streaks of crimson through it.
"I sent him to inform the recruits. I don't mind being a messenger when it's necessary, Miss Ral."
Miss Ral. She gave an unbecoming snort of laughter before slapping a blood stained hand over her lips and apologizing. "Forgive me, sir. I think the exhaustion is getting to my head... 'Miss Ral' just seems a little unfitting given my current state." She spoke while motioning to her blood soaked clothing and skin.
He gave her one of his well known smiles and spun to leave before tilting his head, ensuring that she could hear him. "I doubt anyone could look as agreeable as you in such circumstances, Miss Ral."
She felt her mouth drop at such a comment. What the hell was that? Perhaps the exhaustion was getting to him too.
Levi watched from afar as Petra threw her head back in laughter before covering her flushed face with a delicate hand. He was sure she was apologizing profusely as she usually did even if it wasn't necessary. What caught him by surprise was the way her face fell only moments later as Erwin turned to leave. He knew better than to assume he had said something appropriate. Erwin could hardly keep himself from complimenting any woman with a pretty face, and Petra was far from that.
He wasted no time in questioning him when he felt his branch bend with weight. "The fuck did you say to her?"
A smirk and then, "Wouldn't you like to know."
Levi felt his jaw tighten involuntarily at the smugness of his long time friend and leader. "Seeing as though I'm her captain, I would like to know."
"As her commanding officer, I'd say you have nothing to worry about."
"Given your track record, I'll have to call bullshit on that."
Erwin's face lit up at the comment, almost as if he was amused by the aligation. "My record is clear of any subordinates, Levi."
"Right. Just other men's wives."
His eyes narrowed at that. "Have you readied the recruits?"
Levi shrugged. "Depends on what you consider being ready as."
"Hm. Not the answer I would have liked, but I'll admit this plan will be a true test of their skill. Unfortunately we can't afford any failures."
That earned an eye roll from him. He was well aware of the fact that the recruits were top priority. "Are you ready then? All this talking is giving me a migraine."
The formation they created was simple enough; the senior members would form a wall around the recruits, keeping them boxed in. While the Commander, Levi, and Mike led in the front. She was located near the middle on the outer left, meaning she would face no real obstacles. Easy enough.
They had a little over two miles left before they reached their destination. The flare would be set off once they hit the midpoint and a responding one would be sent when Squad leader Hange had her team in position. She wasn't sure what to expect; she only hoped the brilliantly mad scientist had come up with something better than them scaling the walls and having to be hoisted up one at a time. That would only lead to disaster; one sweaty hand and you'd be tumbling to your death.
The only good thing she could gather was that they had managed to put some distance between them and the titans; the bad of course, was that the lumbering beasts were still following behind them. Before they had left, Nanaba, Gelgar, and Gunther were tasked with taking out any remaining abnormals mixed within the horde. She could only hope that they wouldn't run into any more up ahead. The abnormals were faster than the others; she knew the recruits wouldn't make it through that, and losing any of them wasn't an option. They were a day behind their scheduled return already, meaning there was sure to be a crowd of suspecting townspeople gathered once they finally arrived.
A flare to her right sounded their impending arrival and she tightened her fists around the handles of her blades. Once they reached the wall the real struggle would begin. A blast of yellow smoke off in the near distance confirmed the position of their fellow squad. They were moving quickly and in a moments time they had made it to their pick up point. Petra could hardly contain the squeal of excitement when she saw the a line of wooden lifts spread a short distance across the wall. They were the same lifts they often used to for the horses and carts when the gate wasn't an option. All they had to do was propel themselves far enough to reach them. She could do it, the remaining senior members could do it, but would the recruits be able to pull off such a maneuver with their limited experience? There was no way to guarantee it, which meant they would have to act as safety nets between the lift and the hard ground.
They came to a halt and she quickly made her way to the front of their formation awaiting orders, she doubted she would be one of those tasked with catching any recruits who couldn't make the distance. More than half of the kids already surpassed her in height and weight, there was no way she'd be able to carry them anywhere.
"Petra, you're with Nanaba and Lynne. Keep the perimeter secure."
"Yes, Captain."
For once she was okay with being sent away. She'd rather fight off titans than have to be the last security measure in keeping someone's child from the ground beneath them.
Levi struggled to keep the look of surprise from his face. So far only two out of the ten brats to make the jump had needed assistance. A quick glance around him showed that he wasn't the only one fighting their shock. He guessed the thought of the impending titans gave them the necessary courage to get the job done.
"Nanaba, Lynne-" He called out to the women behind him, "Make your way up there. Petra, help Oruo with whoever's left and lets get the hell out of here."
Where ever the titans were, they weren't here. Which meant he could focus on getting their senior members out of this shithole. Mike and Gelgar were next once they finished with their group. Which left his squad and Erwin. The blonde commander gave him a curt nod before launching himself towards the wall as well. Levi turned to where his squad was and propelled himself to them. "How many are left?"
Turning to look towards the small group, Eld counted quickly. "Uh- looks like four."
"Good. You and Gunther get those two and head over."
By the time he made it to Petra there was only one left. The kid seemed to be struggling with the idea of launching himself across the distance. He shook his head repeatedly before finally succumbing to Petra's calming words of encouragement. Better her be the one to talk him down than any of us. She was always good at easing someone's nerves; even he had to admit she had been the one to calm him on more than a few occasions.
"We've got this one Captain. We'll follow behind you." She yelled from a few branches away.
He simply nodded in response before turning to leave. One kid should be easy enough to handle.
"Alright, you'll go and then we'll follow behind you." She flashed him a chaste smile of encouragement. "Even if you miss, Oruo will catch you. It'll be fine."
The boy nodded in agreement, although she could see he was still scared out his mind. She sent a look to Oruo letting him know he would most likely have to assist and he gave a smug grin in return. "I'll go once you're both up."
His face faltered a bit before he spoke softly, "Don't wait too long, Petra."
She nodded once in response. She knew he was worried about her being alone with no cover, but she would need to assist him if something happened; and she wasn't surprised when it did. Things had gone far too smooth up to this point. It had her on edge the entire time and it was the reason she made sure she was the last one left. She watched as the boy lept from his branch, watched as his face turned into a horrified expression and he tried to turn back. She had felt the vibrations of the abnormal staggering towards them, and had hoped that they would be fast enough to make it to the lift before it arrived; but her plan had always been this if they were unlucky.
"Oruo!" She could see his gaze on the Titan approaching but there was no way she could carry the weight of the recruit. He would have to be the one to do it, and she would shield them both. "Save him."
Removing her blades she flew from her branch after them, forcing her body between the large arm reaching up and her comrade. In a fierce spin she cut through its flesh, rendering it useless. The maneuver pushing her far from the lifts wooden surface and she knew she wouldn't be able to reach it. She could see the abnormal lingering beneath her, if she landed on it she would survive the fall; but she would have to be quick if she wanted to live after that. It was her only option.
She crashed down on to its head with a loud thud, the impact forcing the air from her. Struggling to fill her lungs again she staggered to her feet. The constant thrashing making it impossible to steady herself, but she was out of time. She could see it's other arm coming towards her and so, with a loud grunt, she pushed herself from its body with as much force as she could muster. She pulled her legs over her head, fipping over it's large arm; unable to see the newly regenerated one coming for her until it was too late. The impact sending her spiraling backwards as the scenery around her passed in a blur. She heard the sickening smack of her body connecting with a tree and then nothing but silenceas her world faded to black.