A/N: Been busy yet again! Moving and now I has a job! Now onto cringe worthy fanfiction!
I quickly get on my feet and muster up the courage to say something to her.
"What are you doing here?" I asked.
"Waiting for my sister to get out of school." she answered.
"I'm waiting for her too."
Satsuki finally caught on that I know Ryuko. That gal means a lot to me, even though she isn't really real. My life back home could be better, but I do have friends who care in spite of my social anxiety and emo episodes. Sure, I feel overwhelmed at times when around them, but I know I need to find my inner potential and shine like all the other stars in the sky.
But I'm getting off topic. Back to the story!
"You know Ryuko?" Satsuki wondered.
"Yeah, you're lucky to have a sister like her." I said with a stupid big smile of a serial killer.
"Uh, thanks."
Ryuko and Mako finally walk out the school building and notice us. I wanted to say or do something, but I felt heavy and tired. I heard nothing but mumbling as my focus turned to my thoughts. Stress made my body shake more than an N64 rumble pack, knowing I'll be returning to reality anytime soon. A tap on my shoulder made me jump and it was Ryuko.
"Come on, let's go." she said smiling.
"Oh, right." I said returning a fake smile.
I thought she'd notice something off about me, but I guess not. Why am I feeling like this? What is there to be stressed about? Maybe it's because I fear something new outside my comfort zone? Anyway, we ride on the back of the Mankanshoku's truck and Ryuko and Satsuki make idle chit-chat. Meanwhile, my mind races with countless questions, making my inner voice stir.
"I'd rather sleep and not be awoken. I want to be alone, not disturbed. I wish to be genuine, not fake. Give me pain if it's all I'll ever feel." Brokenness is often glorified as it reminds us of where we were, but some of us, myself included, dwell in the shadows. It's familiar, it's genuine unlike the fake sunlight that fades when all goes to hell. Maybe...just maybe...if I…
Thump!
The truck abruptly stops at our destination, causing me to awake slightly from my inner monologue. Satsuki is apparently gonna stay for dinner since she's free at the moment. During the whole time she was there, no one acknowledged my existence. I did talk a bit, but I kept a low profile as my heart is in a toxic state. Just as one of the good scriptures goes, "Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks." I dare not let anyone know of it. The gem will know, but I don't care.
"Why are you so downcast?" it asked.
"You should know." I said changing into my pajamas.
"Go on and let Ryuko know. I'm sure she'd understand and comfort you."
"Right, I'd rather not let a faker know how I feel."
I'd rather sleep and not wake up. My real life is pushing me to my limits, it's almost unbearable. Combined with my chest pains, depression, and anxiety; I'm left to rot in it all. It makes me wonder if my morals are all wrong. Maybe I should just end it all, quit this game of life and move onto its sequel.
Ryuko and Mako walk in ready to hit the sack. I keep to myself, hoping they won't notice what I'm hiding. Mako is loud and cheerful, even at this hour. Still, it didn't make me smile. Nothing did. I just want this painful cycle to end. Why is this gem torturing me? It takes me to places I can never stay at, lets me meet people I can never be with, and lets me experience what I can never in the real world. Then I'm left with a false sense of hope, that maybe I can have adventures and friends that won't stress me out. Sure, I've had adventures on earth that were a blast, but those days are over.
"Goodnight, Ryuko." I say before I shut my eyes.
"Goodnight." she responds.
I turn around and silently cry. The snores of the others will hopefully drown out any noise that I make. Sigh, perhaps this suffering is justice. If only Eve didn't eat the forbidden fruit, then none of this would be happening. I wouldn't have to suffer, work to earn my keep, be a good steward, or follow a moral compass.
At almost 3AM, I get up and avoid the minefield of sleepers to make my way to the bathroom. To make sure the boys aren't peeking, I scan the area and the cost is clear. After I'm done, I go to the kitchen to get a knife and quietly exit the home.
"What are you doing?!" the gem asked.
"Ending this story! It's gone on long enough!" I cried. "Who'd want to continue hearing me cry over and over?"
"You're going too far!"
"Don't get in my way!"
I stab myself at full force, but a hand stops me. Yep, it's Ryuko. The gem called her even though I told him to not interfere. When the shock ends, I push her out of the way and attempt to stab myself again only this time Ryuko stops me with her whole body.
"Why?" I cried. "I want to die and no one will let me." Instead of letting me go, Ryuko holds me a little tighter, but uses one hand to throw the knife away.
"Stop pretending to care for me! That stupid rock of mine has manipulated your emotions."
The girl shook her head. "He only called me to come save you." she answered. "That's all. My emotions are real and so are yours."
My body collapses on its knees, trembling from emotional stress. Ryuko kneels down and puts her hand on my shoulder. In this silence, the gem enters her mind, plotting a way to end this toxic mindset of mine.
"I want you to show her just how important she is." the gem stated.
"How?" Ryuko asked.
"By ripping her heart out."
"Seriously?! She'll die!"
"I won't let that happen, I promise! This action will remind her of something special."
"If you say so, but what if this doesn't work?"
"It will. Now follow my lead."
The gem gains control of my body, allowing Ryuko to complete this task appointed to her. She doesn't fully understand, but she trusts this rock enough. Besides, she doesn't have any other plan in mind.
"Ryuko? What are you doing?" I ask fearfully as she unbuttons the chest area of my shirt.
"Trust me, Rebekah. You'll be okay." she assured.
Ryuko flattens her hand and at full force stabs it through my chest. Her hand reaches for my heart and pulls it out. One thing is certain, it's normal looking compared to Ryuko's. Oddly enough, I didn't feel any pain, only shock. The heart in her hand is beating fast, but she doesn't let it go.
"Huh? I'm not dead?" I said still in shock.
"So, this is what a normal heart looks like?" Ryuko said rather surprised.
"Not much different, only yours is shiny. So why did you do this?"
Ryuko closed her eyes, wearing a determined smile as if she knows why.
"I want you to remember that you are important." she began. "Not just because you came from another world, but because you have potential. If you truly believe every human should be loved, then why not you? You're human too! You have a heart that feels joy when around the people you love, and feels pain when something goes wrong. It's obvious that you're in pain, otherwise, you wouldn't by trying to kill yourself." She pauses, trying to find more words to say. Ryuko knows and understands the depth of my pain, especially after seeing me attempt suicide twice in one night.
"Don't rob me or anyone else of the chance to know you. Sure, I've met many scumbags, but you aren't like them. I can tell; your heart proves it!" Her words and actions compliment each other as if it were planned. Well, no duh! This is fanfiction! Anything is possible!
Ryuko puts my heart back in my chest and I see no wound on it. But I can still feel her hand on my heart as if she's still holding it. She holds my shivering body, trying to calm me down. "Thank you." I managed to say through my sobs. You'd think after 20 plus years I'd be past my emo phase, but no, I'm still a cry baby who at times replaces her brain with her heart.
We let go and head back to bed without a word. Once we sit down on our futons, Ryuko gives me a reassuring smile before dozing off.
The next day, Mrs. Mankanshoku gets a phone call from the hospital about me and I'm diagnosed with premature ventricular contractions (PVCs for short) meaning I have extra heartbeats which explains the abnormality. The doc ain't too paranoid so they let me be unless something really bad happens.
With nothing to do, I take the same route and bumped into Ashley. She's wearing an odd attire; it's black with some kind of red glow that's barely noticeable. Is it Life Fibers?