Disclaimer: All Disney works are the property of The Walt Disney Company. All other characters and settings are the property of their respective legal owners.
Author's note: Originally posted by Anon e Mouse Jr. on 2017-09-28. This is the second of three chapters posted today, which consist of the entirety of katfairy's Phineas and Ferb in the 500 Kingdoms storyline.
Disney/Kingdom Hearts Loops, Chapter Eight, part 2
8.6 (katfairy): [Phineas and Ferb] / [The Five Hundred Kingdoms]
Phineas and Ferb in the 500 Kingdoms, part 6
The next week was very active for everyone. The three visiting Loopers continued both studying and exploring the castle, and when Phineas and Ferb located the old forge, they added that to their list of Things To Get Working. Alexander left for a day, returning with a literally visible glow that took a while to fade; he had been confirmed as a Champion in record time. Elena set up a mirror in the front hall to use as transport, and added mirror magic to the lessons. Iolanthe and her family returned to her castle, checking in every night to give or receive news; neither Godmother could stay due to their own duties. Iolanthe was only in charge of three kingdoms, but one was quite large and all were rather busy; Elena was in charge of at least a dozen and one of those was due to have a major incident in the next few weeks that Elena still hadn't figured out how to forestall. Since Alex's brother was involved, they'd be losing him for a few days when it happened; nobody was saying so, but they were assuming that if Sacharissa was going to attack, she'd do it then. It wasn't technically Traditional for villains to strike at the most inconvenient times, but it might as well have been.
Busy at it was, they mostly enjoyed themselves. The one exception was necessary, but left all three visiting Loopers hoping they never had to do it again: drinking Dragon's Blood.
"Blood? You mean like… blood?" Isabella squeaked, horrified. Phineas and Ferb nodded, both looking almost as uncomfortable as she felt. And she'd thought eating a grub would be bad! "Almandin, doesn't that hurt you?"
"Never a fear of it. It's no worse than pricking your finger on a needle; sting a bit for a few seconds, but five minutes later you've completely forgotten it. Honor bright, Miss Isabella, I give blood a few times a year for various Fae and Godmothers, and even for a Wizard I know on occasion. I'd hardly do it if it really hurt. Any road, understanding animal speech is a ruddy useful skill, and if it carries over to other Loops it'll be even moreso. And don't worry about hearing regular animals talk; spend a few minutes listening to chickens talk and you won't feel the least bit guilty about eating one of the daft creatures."
"Variations of 'hey'," Elena nodded. "Unfortunately, it tastes every bit as nasty as it sounds, but it's the quickest way of doing this as well as being one of the few permanent methods. I've done, Alex has done it, Daniel and Phyllis have done it… I promise it won't kill you. And you have to do it in a single dose."
"It won't be as effective?" Phineas asked. Alex shook his head.
"No, it's just that after the first taste you won't want a second no matter how useful it is."
The Danvillians exchanged looks, and then as one chugged the contents of their glasses. Isabella and Phineas gagged, and Ferb turned as green as his hair; glasses of mint water were thrust into their hands and they started a long rinse-and-spit cycle. It explained why Elena had suggested doing this outdoors. Finally, they were given a strong fruit juice blend to finish off the rest of the foul taste. Phineas summed up their feelings perfectly.
"Dude, that's nasty!"
"Well, with any luck you'll never have to do it again," Elena said. "I haven't had to take another dose, but then, I haven't left this Loop yet and it starts after I've already done that, so I really can't say if it will be sustained for you."
"I hope so," Ferb said. "I'd rather not do that again."
"Hey, there aren't any animals around!" Phineas exclaimed. Isabella hadn't thought about it, but most animals tended to avoid the area near a Dragon's lair. For some strange reason, they didn't want to live near a carnivore big enough to eat a sheep in two bites.
"I thought about that," Elena said, opening a crate and lifting out a large calico cat. "If there is any animal that won't panic at the sight of a Dragon, it's a cat."
"Why should I be afraid of an overgrown lizard?" the cat yawned. Phineas' eyes widened, Ferb blinked, and Isabella stifled a squee. The Dragon's Blood had worked. Almandin didn't seem insulted by the cat, and was actually chuckling quietly.
"Cats are good for keeping you humble, aren't they? Although I really ought to point out that this particular lizard has scales larger than you and breathes fire."
"Big and clumsy, and breathing fire doesn't help if your target's too fast for you to come near it."
"Fair enough on the second, but have you ever watched a Dragon fly?"
"Yes. It was crunchy, but it didn't taste very good."
"No, I meant… oh, never mind. Never argue with a cat; it always wins."
"You're pretty smart for a lizard." The cat wandered off, bored, and Almandin gave the draconic equivalent of a shrug.
"So what are all these glowing dust mites?" Phineas asked, waving his hand in front of his eyes. "It was pretty at first, but it gets kinda annoying after a while."
"You're seeing magic, which means a whole new set of lessons for you," Elena said.
"I'm seeing them too; how about you, Ferb?"
"Not me. I guess I'm not suited to this Loop's magic." Ferb didn't seem particularly upset about it, but then, Ferb wasn't really the jealous type. And it wasn't like they hadn't had other Loops where somebody got a perk that the others didn't. "Does that mean I can't help Phineas and Isabella with their lessons, or that I just won't be able to do any of that myself?"
"Oh, you can always help, if you're willing, and some spells can be cast by anybody regardless of magical ability, but the bigger and more complex a spell is, the more dangerous it would be for you. I suspect you have enough common sense to know your limits," Alex answered. Elena and Almandin agreed.
"That ruddy cat could cast some spells if it cared to learn them. Some do, but those tend to be the Wise Beasts, which aren't normal anyway. Wise Beasts are more likely to show up here than regular ones, and I never turn them away if they do. Charming conversationalists, Wise Beasts; never can tell what Tradition they're coming from, and some of their tales are quite exciting."
"More importantly," Elena said, "your support is invaluable, but a little dangerous. The Loyal Brother and the Loyal Twin are offshoots of the same Tradition, and while the brother you're loyal to tends to get a happy ever after, there's a distinct possibility of the Tradition leading you into a noble sacrifice. And if you start feeling anything you know isn't normal, tell someone at once; I'm sure you've found any number of Traditions involving brother against brother in your reading. Phineas, Isabella, you need to watch out as well, because the Tradition can push you into ignoring him as no longer important."
"Ferb, if I ever blow you off when I'm not right in the middle of something, you have my permission to give me a kick in the butt," Phineas said immediately. Ferb nodded, smiling slightly. Isabella sighed.
"I won't go that far," she said, "but definitely say something."
"I will."
"It'll be like that Hogwarts Loop where I was a Squib," Phineas said. "We got through that okay, and we can just try some of the same stuff we did then. And we've got that blacksmith's shop to get set up, too; from what I've read, having a smith who knows about magic is pretty useful."
"Once you've got it up and running, I can teach you how to forge with Dragonfire," Almandin said, surprising them. "That's a much rarer skill than magic, you know; not a lot of smiths willing to even try it and even fewer Dragons who know the technique these days. Call me a romantic, but I do hate seeing the old skills dying out, so I made a point of learning as many as I could. Now that I think of it, I rather fancy the idea of Dragonsmithing; care to give it a go, Ferb?"
"Sounds good; I'm in," Ferb said after a moment's thought. Isabella was relieved at that; she hadn't considered the Tradition earlier, and while normally Ferb wouldn't care about being the only one who didn't have something special, in this Loop it could lead to something ugly. Ferb had been awkward for several Loops after that ray turned him into Darth Ferb and he'd almost killed Phineas; Isabella hated to think how he'd feel if he got mystically brainwashed into doing something awful to either of them. But he had something he could do and enjoy now that would be his, and that should help. Even better was that this was a skill he'd be able to use in other Loops with Dragons.
The only thing that worried her now was the weight she sensed waiting to fall on them. The tanning sessions hadn't affected anything but her skin tone; the Snowskin Path was still a thing. She had a feeling that the Tradition was determined to play that out, and there was nothing they could do to stop it.
Phineas stepped through the mirror from Elena's cottage, clearing the way quickly for the others. They'd gone there because none of the Castle Bunthorne Brownies knew wandmaking, while two of Elena's did. It had been a little like Ollivander's, but not much; the similarity came in handling various types of wood until something felt right, but unlike Ollivander's, they were given raw wood, not finished wands. Also, they would get different types of wands that would be used for different types of work. He and Isabella had shown the Brownies their wands from those Loops, and while Robin had been pleased with the craftsmanship, he'd told them that they simply weren't the right tool for the job in this Loop. So Phineas would soon be receiving four walnut wands ranging from a standard forearm-length to a staff like Gandalf's, while Isabella would be getting six or seven rosewood wands, the smallest of which was no larger than her hand. Having seen Robin's work on Elena's wands, Phineas knew his would go into his Pocket when he wasn't using them.
He didn't envy Isabella the extra wands; a Godmother had more roles to play than a Wizard did, and he was likely to be a Wizard. He could play the friendly helper, the wise mentor, the stern guardian, and the oh-snap-who-did-I-just-mess-with avenger. Isabella had to be convincing as a fairy princess, an old beggar woman, a noble lady, and so many more roles; it wouldn't be easy, but he knew she could do it. After all, this was Isabella, and he couldn't imagine her failing at anything.
Ferb and Alexander were waiting for them as they came through, and both were looking pleased with themselves. That was good; he hadn't liked that it looked like this Loop was trying to leave Ferb out of the fun, but Almandin's suggestion had been perfect. Ferb had spent a few Loops learning to be all sorts of smith, and adding to his collection always made him happy.
"Hey, Ferb, what'cha doin?"
"Isn't that Isabella's line?" Ferb asked with a faint smile.
"Phineas can use it. And you. Don't want to dilute my brand too much." Isabella was looking more relaxed now that they knew they'd have what they needed to work with. She hadn't been joking as much the last few days, so it was good to see her tease Ferb. Ferb must have thought so too, because his smile got a little bigger.
"Alex helped with some of the heavy lifting in the forge and we found a chest full of tools in excellent shape. Not everything we'll need, but more than enough to get started once we finish cleaning it out."
"Sweet!" He'd been hoping Alex would be willing to help with that; he and Ferb were good at a lot of things, but they weren't full-grown and while they were both pretty strong for their sizes, for some things they just needed an adult. Or some of their gear from their Pockets, but even though everyone in the castle knew about them, they didn't want to get into the habit of using other-Loop tech just to make things easier, especially in a Loop whose tech level ranged from Bronze Age to Renaissance. He'd learned that lesson the hard way, and preferred not to think about how that Loop had ended. "How long do you think it'll be before we can get it up and running?"
"Depending on how much time we can spare from our studies, probably within the week. Less, if Alex is clear to help again. Sorcerer or Wizard?"
"Wizard. They're kinda magical engineers, and that just feels more me. I made up my mind on the way through to Elena's cottage."
"Good. Smiths and Wizards work together pretty well in a lot of tales I know, and if it's true in this Loop, that'll give us a leg up on the Tradition."
"As long as they're both on the side of the Light, they usually do," Alex said. "Of course, there are always exceptions, but those are due to clashes of character, not Tradition."
"Then I guess we've got a pretty good foundation now," Phineas said. "If we keep working, then as long as Mrs. Wellington-Wells doesn't pull anything too weird, we should be ready for her when she makes her move."
Nobody pointed out that Dickon's ploy with the deer heart might work, and that the Wicked Stepmother might be appeased. None of them believed it would. Their lessons were really planning sessions, in hopes that they covered every contingency; they had even learned a few spells that might distract her or deflect an attack. But Isabella had admitted that she still felt the Tradition weighing down on her, and both Godmothers had confirmed that they had not been able to disrupt the Snowskin Path. A confrontation was inevitable, and Phineas was not going to let anybody hurt Isabella.
Sacharissa sneered down at the peasant huntsman kneeling before her and proffering an oaken chest just big enough to contain a heart.
"She was dead when I found her, Madame, and the beasts had already left their marks. I preserved her heart in wine and brought it back as you instructed, that it might be buried with her father. And now, Madame, if you have no further need of me, one of my dogs is off his feed, and I wish to make sure of him."
"Thank you for your service, huntsman. You may go, and my servant will give you your reward as promised." She turned and left without giving him another thought, carrying the chest straight to her secret chamber. Once there, she stripped and put her clothes on a shelf with great care; it wouldn't do for them to get stained with any of the substances she'd be working with.
She did not speak from the moment she entered the room. The spell she had in mind was quite tricky; any extraneous words could have a disastrous effect. She lit a black candle with a taper and carried it to the nearly-complete circle already drawn in black wax; a minute of dripping in the right place and the circle was closed. She began the ritual, calling on the few demons who owed her favors to lend their power to her spell. Such a request would strengthen the spell, but would still leave the demons in her debt; despite what her insolent Mirror Slave thought, she was no fool.
She could feel the power around her, heavy with the weight of Tradition. As soon as she devoured the heart, she would take on the form of her late husband's late brat. She'd already planned for her return; she'd dropped hints here and there that the child was unhinged with grief and convinced poor Sacharissa had connived at her father's death (which had actually been a coincidence, although she'd had plans to get rid of him anyway), and so had run off to the woods to find a Godmother's aid. A Sorceress who she'd paid well would spirit her away, and then return her home publicly, disguised as a Godmother, only to find a house abandoned and ransacked by disloyal servants. Her husband's family would take her in, see the power she had, and train her, giving her all the secrets she'd been working to get hold of. By the time she appeared grown again, she would have enough to charm the current prince into taking her as his wife, and after that, the rest would be easy. The royalty here was smug and complacent, believing that the mere existence of a Godmother in the kingdom was enough to protect them. She would still have to be careful, of course, but the Queen had died years ago, the Princess was heading for a foreign land with foreign diseases, the King was so badly misshapen that none would be surprised if he died suddenly from a burst heart, and all of the Princes were warrior idiots who were likely to die in battle. As long as she didn't try to rush matters, she could be sole ruler of the country by the time she was thirty again. The power she would gain from each death, both political and magical, would make her undefeatable.
She ate the heart, chanted the last words of the ritual, and immediately knew something was wrong. Her body was stretching painfully, and she could feel herself morphing into something that couldn't be a child one the cusp of maidenhood. She screamed, fighting the changes, but she had done the ritual too well and poured too much power into it. Before she passed out, she had one last thought: the huntsman betrayed her.
Some time later, she finally woke up. The candles had gone out, leaving her only the light from the fireplace to see by. She knew the ritual had done something to her, but as yet she could not guess what it was. Slowly, she got to her feet, feeling off-balance and just wrong, and re-lit the candles from the fire. She brought them over to the mirror and set them in place before allowing herself to look.
A tall, gracefully slim creature stared back out at her. But creature was the right word; she no longer looked human. Her nose and jaw had become elongated, resembling a deer's muzzle. Light chestnut brown fur covered her body. Her formerly silver-streaked blonde hair was now a few shades darker than her fur. And her legs… she flexed her hands to be sure that they at least were still there. Now she knew why she'd felt so off-balance. She was walking upright on deer's legs, complete with dainty cloven hoofs.
She began to laugh. She laughed as she smashed the mirror. She laughed as she tore the room apart. And she laughed as she sent her remaining magic out to mark the huntsman so that she could find him and make him pay.
8.7 (katfairy): [Phineas and Ferb] / [The Five Hundred Kingdoms]
Phineas and Ferb in the 500 Kingdoms, part 7
There would be no leaving the castle today. A few days ago a dangerous magical character had attacked the kingdom where Alex's brother lived, so yesterday he, Elena, and Almandin had gone to sort things out. Since this left Isabella with the Traditional seven defenders, they were being extra careful. It wouldn't have been so bad if Eilyr had shown up, but he hadn't; Elena commented cynically that he probably got distracted by a pretty flower. The Brownies were more dangerous than most assumed, and the Danvillians had enough experience to look out for themselves, but there was a difference between confidence and tempting fate. Isabella herself had insisted on staying in company until the non-Traditional numbers were restored, and Phineas was glad she'd done so.
They were standing on one of the parapets, looking out over the valley. They weren't talking, not because of nerves or any ill-will, but because they didn't feel the need. Even before the Loops had started, they had been good enough friends that silence didn't feel threatening. At the moment, they were simply enjoying a late autumn morning. The skies were cloudy, but they were the textured silvery clouds that were actually prettier than a clear sky, and the temperature was cool enough now that they wanted cloaks if they were going to be out for more than a few minutes. They had finished their morning chores and there would be no lessons today, so grabbing a quiet hour was all right; in fact, the Brownies had encouraged it, pointing out that they had been working almost non-stop for a few weeks. So here they were, quietly enjoying the day and each other's company.
A sound of stone scraping over stone was the only warning Phineas had before a hand gripped him by the throat from behind and lifted him. He hung there for a second, scrabbling at the fingers cutting of his air, then he found himself flying toward the crenellations. He bounced off the top of one, gasping as he felt his right shoulder dislocate, and started to tumble over the side; he managed to get a handhold with his still-working left hand, but it wasn't a very good one. He tried to remember whether he was over stone or one of the grassy bits, and grimaced as he realized that at this height, the only difference it would make was how bloody a splat his landing would create.
He could hear Ferb and Isabella shouting and the sound of a spell being fired off; seconds later, Ferb's face appeared between the crenellations.
"Isabella's holding him off; hang on for just a few seconds more!" Ferb began to climb out after him. "Can you give me your other hand?"
"No, my shoulder's messed up."
"Right. Pocket time, th—NO!"
Phineas' hand slipped, and he fell. He could see Ferb's horrified expression and felt bad about it, but there was nothing in either of their Pockets that could have helped fast enough. The last thing he heard before he hit was Isabella screaming.
It would be quite some time before Isabella would forgive herself for not looking into the castle's secret passages. The wall had opened behind Phineas and a tall figure had attacked before they could react. The man looked human enough, but there was something wrong about him; his face was slack, his eyes were a bit too focused, and he was stronger than he should have been. Phineas wasn't very big, but no normal human could have just picked up and thrown him like that, especially one-handed. She grabbed her wand from her Pocket and started with the Imperius Curse, just in case. She wasn't surprised when it failed, and she quickly switched to offensive spells. The Hogwarts spells weren't as effective here, probably because they weren't Traditional, but they were enough to hold the man back until Ferb could rescue Phineas. She backed toward them, keeping one eye on the man and another eye on the closest door, thankful that it wasn't too far from where Phineas has gone over.
She had just fired off a shield spell that seemed to hold pretty well when she heard Ferb shout; she turned just in time to see Phineas' hand disappear from view. Screaming, she ran to the nearest gap and saw him land hard in the grass. The grass was still soft, but it was such a long drop; even if he survived, he was probably badly hurt. He needed them, and he needed them now. Ferb had scrambled back down, white-faced and trembling; the two grabbed each other's hand and ran for the door, ignoring the man pounding on Isabella's slowly disintegrating shield. They'd deal with him later.
"Zombie?" she gasped as they pelted down the stairs.
"Re-animated corpse, at least. Damn it!" Ferb didn't swear often, and Isabella knew there was something more going on. It would have to wait, though; Phineas needed them. That was the foremost thought in her mind. She didn't even notice they knocked Daw ass-over-teakettle in their rush.
They didn't really take years to reach the courtyard, but it felt that way; a small part of Isabella's mind idly wondered if that was Traditional or just cliché. Phineas lay unmoving, and somehow they found a little more speed. They skidded to a stop on their knees next to him, careful not to touch him until they knew just how bad it was. They were relieved to see he was at least still breathing, but that was the best they could say. His breathing was off, slow and uneven. There was blood on his lips. One leg was bent beneath him at an unnatural angle. Even knowing that the worst that could happen was that they'd have to finish the Loop without him and they'd see him again the next time they were Awake, Isabella felt sick.
A sudden yowling got her attention; she and Ferb leapt to their feet, protecting Phineas. The man had come out of another section of wall, only to have the cat land on his head. She wasn't sure where the cat had come from, but then, it was a cat. The man reached up to grab it, but the cat jumped off before he came close. There were visible scratches on the man's face, but he wasn't bleeding; if they needed any confirmation that the man was past his use-by date, that would do it.
"He's really dead," she said, voice shaking.
"Yes. And he's about to be moreso." Ferb's fists were clenched so tight she was afraid he'd hurt himself and he took a step toward the man. Isabella readied her wand, trying to think of what spells she could use to end this quickly. The man took a small cloth pouch from his pocket and lobbed it toward them, and she blasted it; the explosion sent a cloud of powder in all directions, including over them. The second it reached them, Isabella lost her connection to her magic. From the shocked hiss she heard, it did something to Ferb as well. "I can't get into my Pocket. I'm back to baseline."
She tried to access her Pocket and failed. Whatever that powder was, it blocked anything beyond what a normal human could do. That was bad, but even in baseline they hadn't been helpless. They'd fought aliens, robots, zombie pharmacists… They could handle this. She hoped. She dropped her wand, now just a useless piece of carved wood, and readied herself.
"Okay, we've got to keep him away from Phineas. If we can lower the drawbridge, it shouldn't be too hard to trick him over the side. He's just attacking, not using strategy, so whatever's controlling him hasn't left him big on thinking. He's probably after me anyway, so I'll keep him busy while you get the drawbridge."
"On it." Ferb didn't argue; instead, he ran for the mechanism that controlled the gate, drawbridge, and everything. The man turned to follow him.
"I don't think so," she said. She darted away from Phineas before giving a loud whistle. "I'm over here, you big jerk! Can't catch me!"
He threw another bag of powder, and she rolled away at an angle so it missed completely this time. He didn't seem capable of running, but he also didn't react to the rocks she hit him with and showed no signs of tiring. That could be a problem if Ferb had trouble with the drawbridge; she had a good adrenaline rush going, but that wouldn't last forever. Also, the long skirts she had to wear were really encumbering. Another bag of powder sailed her way, and she dodged again.
A rattling rumbling clanking erupted from Ferb's direction, drawing the man's attention again. She headed for the gate, knowing he'd follow.
"Ferb, stay out of sight! I don't think he'll attack you unless he sees you!"
She hiked up her skirts and sprinted, but that meant turning her back on the man. She was almost through the gate when something hit her between the shoulder blades. She fell, awake but unable to move. Ferb yelled and she got the sensation of something large and silvery passing over her. Seconds later, Ferb was at her side.
"Better late than never," he said, picking her up. "Close your eyes for a few minutes; you really don't want to see what a unicorn's horn does to a corpse animated by Dark magic."
"He speaks truth, Maiden," Eilyr said. "I am truly sorry that I am so late, but at least I was here in time to destroy the foul revenant. But you are hurt!"
"Magic powder of some sort; I think she's paralyzed."
"I can fix that." There was a tickle on her arm as though someone trailed a pin just across the surface of her skin, then a warm, relaxing feeling slowly swept over her. "It is merely another form of poison, and a unicorn's horn is proof against any poison. She will be able to stand in a few moments. But where is the other—oh. Oh, my friends, I am so sorry. That is not in my power to repair."
Ferb set her down gently on the grass, and she opened her eyes. Phineas was still breathing, but she knew he didn't have much longer. This was something she would never get used to, no matter how many Loops they had. She reached out a hand and cupped his cheek.
"Oh, Phineas…"
"Isa…bella…?" Phineas' eyes fluttered open the barest crack; just enough to show that he was conscious. "Are you… okay? Ferb?"
"I'm here," Ferb said. "The Stepmother sent a… henchman, I guess. Eilyr took him out. We're okay. I think the cat went to get the Brownies—if you can just hold on until a Godmother gets here…"
"Sorry… bro…" Phineas smiled. "See you… in Danville. Don't cry… Isabella…"
"Oak, Ash, and Thorn, what happened?" Iolanthe exclaimed from behind them. Before anybody could respond, she was kneeling next to them, wand out. "On second thought, explain later. I've healed worse, but not often and not for a while. May I have your permission to draw on the power surrounding you, all of you?"
"Yes," Ferb, Isabella, and Eilyr chorused without hesitation. Iolanthe put a hand over Phineas' heart and held her wand over his head, then began to chant. They sat and waited, watching for any sign that it was working. Isabella thought his color was getting better and his breathing was evening out, but couldn't be sure it wasn't wishful thinking. As Iolanthe worked, Isabella felt her sense for magic returning, and seeing it gather around Phineas was a comfort; she just wished Ferb could see it as well.
The shadows had visibly shifted before Iolanthe finished, looking a little tired. As soon as she sat back, the Brownies lifted Phineas onto a wide plank and carried him into the castle. Ferb started to get up to follow, but sat down again with a bit of a thump.
"You'll be a bit dizzy for a few minutes, my dears," Iolanthe said. "Taking power, even the small amount of yours that I used, can be tiring for both involved. Not always or even frequently, but I didn't dare take the time for the usual safeguards. I'm just glad I felt something wrong here even before Daw sent that message; I came prepared for imminent disaster, and while I seem to have missed the excitement, I do believe I arrived just in time. Can you tell me as much as you know of what happened?"
Isabella looked at Ferb, who was sitting with his eyes closed, trying to keep himself together. To buy him some time, she began recounting what had just happened. When she had finished, Iolanthe sighed, looking sad.
"Ferb, was the man Dickon?"
"Yes."
Isabella clapped her hands to her mouth, horrified and a little guilty. They'd told her about Dickon, and she'd been looking forward to meeting him. He'd risked his life to help her, even though they'd never met, and she had no doubts at all that her Stepmother had been the one to kill him.
"Oh, Ferb, I'm so-"
"No." Ferb's eyes snapped open, and Isabella gasped; she'd never seen him so angry. "You have nothing to apologize for. You didn't choose to have the Tradition mess with you, and as far as that goes, even the Tradition was only working with what it was given. The real guilty party is Sacharissa. Even before she became your Stepmother, she was an evil woman, and if we'd known about her we'd probably have tried to stop her. But now—she murdered Dickon, she's trying to murder you, and she nearly succeeded in murdering Phineas. This. Ends. I swear, Isabella, I will devote every last skill and power I've gained in the Loops to making sure she does not harm you, Phineas, or anybody else we can help. I don't say I'll do anything, but whatever I can do without going Dark myself, I. Will. Do."
There was a feeling rather like the mystic equivalent of throwing lighter fluid on hot coals, and Iolanthe looked pained.
"Well, Ferb, the Tradition heard you. Congratulations; you are now Phineas and Isabella's Sworn Champion. And what effect that will have when you Loop out of here, I doubt anyone could say."
Ferb looked up at the place from which Phineas had Fallen, then toward the castle where the Brownies had taken him, then toward Dickon's body. He nodded sharply.
"Totally worth it."
Sacharissa snarled as she felt the backlash from her spell controlling the huntsman's corpse hit her. When had the wench learned magic? And who was that green-haired brat who shimmered with an odd power of his own? She didn't have to ask about the unicorn; of course it would protect the girl, especially against an undead man. She hadn't expected what had happened when its horn pierced the man's chest, but it wasn't entirely surprising, either.
She would have to hide now, regain her strength. She had expected to recoup the energy expended on the huntsman by draining the girl, and it looked like that wouldn't be possible for a while now. After such an attack, they would be on their guard. Well, she could wait. Nobody could identify her. Her Mirror Slave had probably died when she'd destroyed its mirror, and the fool who had once owned the castle hadn't survived her method of gaining his memories of the place. Only they had seen her new form, and they could not tell anyone. Yes, she could afford to wait, and use that new form to her advantage; nobody would connect a half-deer half-human forest spirit with Madame Wellington-Wells, and most would assume she had died in the fire that had consumed the house along with all the other inhabitants.
She drew back into the woods, smiling.
8.8 (katfairy): [Phineas and Ferb] / [The Five Hundred Kingdoms]
Phineas and Ferb in the 500 Kingdoms, part 8
Phineas awoke, finding himself in a nice warm bed in a room that smelled faintly of lavender and woodsmoke. Even without opening his eyes, he knew he wasn't back in Danville; he knew his home bed well enough to know he wasn't in it. Obviously he'd Looped in somewhere else, but at the moment he just didn't feel like getting up to find out where. His Loop memories would kick in soon enough, and in the meantime, the bed was really comfortable. He sunk into a half-doze while he waited.
He would never admit to anybody, not even Ferb or Isabella, that it took him almost ten full minutes to realize that not only was he not getting any new Loop memories, he was in his bed in Castle Bunthorne because he hadn't actually died. When that finally did filter through to his half-asleep brain (that was his story and he was sticking to it), his eyes snapped open and he tried to sit up. It was harder than he expected; not because he hurt, which he wanted an explanation for even if he wasn't complaining, but because he felt like overcooked spaghetti. Eventually he gave up and just looked around his room without trying to overdo it.
The curtains were closed, but the shadows in the room told Phineas that it was night; there were no little pinpricks of light seeping through those curtains. He'd been out for hours. Well, that wasn't surprising. He knew from his studies that magic could heal people almost instantaneously in this Loop, but that it wasn't a total fix. That explained his exhaustion and complete lack of pain, but it didn't explain who did it. None of them had learned spells that advanced yet, and the Brownies didn't have that type of magic. Elena and Alex were hundreds if not thousands of miles away helping Alex's brother, and Iolanthe was dealing with a few minor crises before they became major. Strephon didn't have enough power, even if they'd gotten him here quickly enough to do anything. Daniel and Phyllis had no magic. It made no sense.
A sleepy sigh got his attention and he looked over to see that Ferb was also in his bed, sound asleep. Phineas frowned; his brother looked like he hadn't slept in a couple of days. There were deep shadows under his eyes, he was too pale, and his hair looked like he'd combed it with his fingers if anything. He hadn't looked that bad earlier, and Phineas began to wonder just how long he'd been out. A quick look told him that Isabella wasn't there, which made sense if it was as late as he thought. In a Loop like this, a girl wouldn't be allowed to sit in a boy's room overnight, no matter how badly he was hurt. A look back at Ferb had him debating whether or not to wake him, but Phineas knew he'd have been worried sick and would rather lose sleep than wait a moment longer than necessary. He struggled to raise an arm, noticing that it was getting easier to move, and poked Ferb's shoulder. Ferb's eyes opened immediately.
"You're awake. It's been a day and a half." Ferb, even barely awake, could still read Phineas' mind. "I think Alex must have put me in here; I was in the chair next to the bed."
"Plenty of room, bro; this makes a king bed look like minor nobility. What happened?"
"Sacharissa sent a revenant to attack us. The Godmothers are working on finding out how she knew about the secret passages. Eilyr showed up and took care of it though; purifying magic works well against the undead."
"Makes sense. How am I still alive?"
"When you fell, we ran down to check on you. It seems we almost knocked Daw down the stairs without noticing, and he guessed there was something wrong and sent for Iolanthe."
"Okay. Hope that didn't mess up her other projects."
"She says not. But there's no sign of Sacharissa, so we still have to be careful."
"Yeah, not planning on falling off any parapets again any time soon."
"Good." Ferb looked as grim as he sounded for a second, and Phineas grimaced in apology. It hadn't been fun for him, but it had to have been just as hard on them having to watch it. He put his hand on Ferb's shoulder.
"I'm okay, Ferb." He'd have said more, but a giant yawn prevented him. Ferb's answering yawn was almost as big. "Hey, Ferb, I know what we're going to do tonight."
"Sleep?"
"Sleep."
They settled down close enough that they could reach out and touch each other if they wanted to. Neither consciously thought about it; Phineas wanted to be able to show Ferb that he was still alive in case of nightmares, and Ferb wanted that assurance. But the worry wasn't enough to fight off the exhaustion, and before long both were sleeping soundly.
"Ferb did what."
Phineas' face had absolutely no expression. Isabella could see Ferb's eyes widen slightly, and he started to edge toward the door. Alex, who had already had a talk with Ferb on the subject, reached out and grabbed Ferb's collar without even looking. Iolanthe and Elena were pretending they hadn't seen, but Isabella knew better. Phineas obviously knew better too.
"Nice try, Ferb." Phineas got out of his chair to face his brother, starting to look annoyed. "You know what the Tradition's like and you just hand it an opportunity to mess with you? What were you thinking?"
"Phineas, the revenant she sent after Isabella was Dickon," Ferb said quietly. Phineas froze, color draining from his face as he realized what that meant. Isabelle felt another pang of guilt at that. It wasn't her fault that Sacharissa was an evil psycho, but she couldn't help but think that Dickon might still be alive if he hadn't tried to help her. "I could have thought things through more, but when I saw how far she was willing to go, I thought maybe we could fight Tradition with Tradition. There are any number of stories about brothers swearing to defend their brothers to the death or something less dramatic, and there are as many with happy endings as there are tragedies. And like we keep saying, if it goes wrong, the worst that happens to me is I end up in that Loop with that tiresome purple dinosaur. I thought it was worth the risk."
"…" Phineas sagged. "I guess, but Iolanthe's right, too—what if this lasts past this Loop? If you've sworn to protect both of us, does that mean we'll all three Loop together for the rest of the Loops? I love you, bro, but you know that would get annoying after a while. And… I don't want you to put yourself at that much risk."
"Well," Isabelle said, hoping her logic would work better on him than it had on herself, "he did specify that he was protecting us from Sacharissa, and he also said he'd do anything that wouldn't turn him Dark."
"Yeah, that should help," Phineas said. "If she isn't a Looper from somewhere else we didn't know about, then she might not even exist after this Loop ends. Or you might have created a nemesis for this Loop only. But the thing about not turning Dark was a good idea, I'll give you that."
"Thanks."
It looked like they'd averted a blow-up, which was good. Phineas didn't get mad very often, and when he did, he usually ended up regretting it, even when he'd been in the right. It was one of the things Isabella lo… really liked about him: he was basically a nice guy. Phineas sat again, Ferb sat next to him, and the summing-up continued. Eilyr, who was out searching the nearby woods for Sacharissa, had been delayed by a unicorn hunter. He'd had just enough sense to know that richly dressed maidens weren't likely to be sitting in the middle of a meadow for no reason, and so had stayed far enough away to remain unaffected by her. However, he hadn't been about to let some other unicorn get caught in that trap, so he'd done some hunting of his own before the hunter had decided that the girl had lied about her credentials and struck her, at which point, Eilyr could safely come to the rescue. It had not gone well for the hunter. Elena and Iolanthe had been very busy over the past few days, between Isabella's situation and Alex's brother's, so there was quite a bit to tell.
"—be starting an Order of Champions on Glass Mountain just as in baseline, because it's still a good idea," Elena said. "And no sooner did we get that settled than we got Iolanthe's rather frantic message. We got on Nightsong—Alex's horse, one of the Sons of the East Wind—and came straight here. Almandin beat us here, naturally, and has been searching the area ever since. I do hope he doesn't eat her if he finds her; I'm told he did that once a long time ago."
"Oh, he did," Iolanthe said calmly. "And while it's not a good idea for a Dragon of the Light to go around eating people, there are exceptions to every rule and some people just need to be devoured by dragons. Almandin is an exceptionally good-natured Dragon, but he does have his limits, and that man was truly appalling. I'll not go into detail, my dears, but compared to him, Sacharissa simply isn't in it."
Even the cat bristled at that idea, and Isabella filed under Things She Never Wanted to Know. Elena cleared her throat.
"Well, now that we've got that settled… Randolph talks to other Mirror Servants as a matter of course, and he told me something interesting. Apparently Sacharissa had her own Mirror Slave. The poor thing was bound to stay in his mirror unless she gave him permission to leave, so he got to see something very interesting. The woman is both a Dark Sorceress and a Necromancer, as we feared. She used the deer heart in a ritual, and because it wasn't what she thought it was, the ritual went wrong. Unfortunately, the way in which it went wrong caused something like an explosion of magic, which, well, it didn't exactly blind her Mirror Slave, but that's the closest description I can find to describe it."
"Like having a firework go off right in front of your face," Alex said.
"Yes, like that. So he wasn't able to see exactly what had happened. But he knows she was changed somehow, and that it may have driven her mad. Before he could see clearly, he heard her start laughing, and the first thing she did after that was smash his mirror. That's a dangerous thing to do to a Mirror Slave or Servant. He was lucky to survive. Still, by smashing his mirror, she released him, and he used his remaining strength to find someone to warn. He'll be a long time recovering, I'm afraid. And there's worse news: Isabella, your father's house burned that night, and it was assumed that Sacharissa died with her servants Your father's servants left after you did, so there weren't many left, but there were still people there and she murdered them all. And Lord Reginald, the poet who owned this castle, was found mysteriously dead in Savoy Park two days ago. Iolanthe went to check when she heard, and there were unmistakable signs of Dark Magic."
"Then she killed him too," Isabella shivered. She reminded herself again that this wasn't her fault, but she knew this Loop was going to be figuring in her nightmares for a while. "And I bet before she did, she somehow got all his memories about this place."
"Like secret passages," Ferb nodded.
"Okay, then, we'll just have to learn them all ourselves," Phineas said. "There might be a map of this place somewhere in the Library, and if there isn't, we'll make one. We know where two entrances are, anyway. Well, I know what we're going to do tomorrow. And probably the rest of the month."
"We'll all help," Noll, startling them as he set down a tray full of tea things. "We know some of them, but we've always suspected there were some we hadn't found."
"Hey, thanks, that'll make things easier. And faster. Uh, would it be bad if I put off my magic studies until we're sure of every last inch of this place?" Phineas looked a bit uncertain, but both Elena and Iolanthe shook their heads.
"My dear, under the circumstances, it is completely understandable," the Fae told him. "I would recommend reviewing for a while every day in order not to lose what you've gained, but that can be done when you need a break. Isabella, I'm afraid we won't be allowing you much privacy until this is done, and you won't be allowed in the passages."
"No, of course not," Isabella sighed. She understood, but… "No sense in basically gift-wrapping myself for her. But I still want to help; I can at least look for clues inside, and I can do that with somebody."
"I was thinking you could draw up the big map from all the little ones we'd be making," Phineas said. "You and Ferb could work on that when it's his turn to be bodyguard."
"And I'll be adding a new set of lessons," Alex said with an expression that did not allow for argument. "I'll be teaching you how to defend yourself."
Phineas and Ferb both looked like they were suddenly wishing they weren't so close to Alex, and when Isabella smiled sweetly, they shifted slightly away from the man. After the attack, she'd insisted on adapting her wardrobe to include a sash just like her Fireside Girls sash. In a flash, it was in her hands and she was using it as a whip to snuff the candles on the table without knocking them over. Then she adjusted her angle to snare one of the smoking candles and haul it in front of her. She looked at Alex again, and her smile grew at his gobsmacked expression. Iolanthe looked a bit surprised, and Elena was trying not to giggle.
"…Well." Alex shook his head sharply. "All right then. But how are you at hand-to-hand? Or archery?"
"I'm good at both," she said, understating matters a little. "If it's just about physical strength, yeah, I know I'm in trouble, but I know how to use what I've got."
"I've seen her fight," Phineas said. "Believe me, you do not want to mess with her. She can turn anything into a weapon, even her own cuteness."
"Why do I have a feeling there's a story behind that?" Alex asked.
"Well, when we've got some time, remind me to tell you about our friend Meap…"
8.9 (katfairy): [Phineas and Ferb] / [The Five Hundred Kingdoms] / [My Little Pony]
Phineas and Ferb in the 500 Kingdoms, part 9
The mapping went smoothly, with no interruptions. With no sign of Sacharissa anywhere, they began to relax a little and return to their old schedule, with a few additions. Alex insisted on teaching all of them combat skills, or at least on making sure that what they knew would work in this Loop. Elena and Iolanthe would show up with books on Traditions that they thought might pop up. And then there were their own projects which cropped up at random, because even though they were in a mostly medieval setting, they were still Phineas, Ferb, and Isabella and they couldn't resist trying to make life easier and more interesting at the same time. They'd grown out of needing to do it daily, but it was rare for them to go more than a month without congregating in the courtyard (or the great hall if it was raining) and having a good build session. Most of them were just for fun, but a few were quite useful; Alex snagged a copy of the blueprints for their redesigned castle and intended to use them for his Order's chapter house in future Loops.
Their studies, to absolutely nobody's surprise, went well. Isabella found Godmother training to be not that different from what she considered being a proper Fireside Girl, but with magic added to the mix. Phineas treated his Wizard studies the same as any other subject, and he and Ferb frequently went into research frenzies in order to track down the rationale behind some of the rules. Ferb was the one who had the most difficulty, but he had expected that. His skills were a little rusty, but that wasn't the problem. The problem was that certain smithing tasks couldn't be done without the proper tools, and either he didn't have them or they were designed for someone considerably larger. The first was an easy fix; he just made a list and gave it to Col. The second… he made a list of those as well and handed it to Col. Given time, he'd grow into them, but he didn't want to wait years to get his skills up to par.
On occasion, Ferb found himself feeling the beginnings of jealousy towards Phineas and Isabella; a little voice whining that they got magic so why didn't he? He always smacked it down as soon as he realized he was thinking it, knowing it was either him being a whiny little brat or the Tradition trying to turn him into the False Brother or some such nonsense. Either way, it was unacceptable. He wasn't going to say he'd never turn on Phineas, because that was just asking for trouble, but it wasn't going to be over something as stupid as that. A different little voice sometimes reminded him that he had actually turned on Phineas once and even tried to kill him, but he answered that by pointing out that being hit with a ray specifically designed to turn people evil was a bit of a mitigating circumstance.
It helped that Phineas and Isabella were also aware of the many ways the Tradition could mess with them and made a point of not letting it. They considered his smithing to be as important as learning magic, and more useful on a day-to-day basis. It was true that every so often one of them would get wrapped up in something and start ignoring the others, but when that happened, the others would give that person a day or two before hauling them out for some forced socialization. Or possibly getting involved in whatever had that one so preoccupied. On one occasion, it had been the Brownies who had hauled all three of them out of the forge because they'd gotten so into creating barding for a unicorn that they'd forgotten to eat all day. That one had been Ferb's fault; he'd wanted Eilyr to have some extra protection.
Eilyr was still around, and probably would be for the whole Loop, since he had also declared himself Isabella's protector. He still became a skitterwit when Isabella was around, but Elena swore he was better than most, and when Isabella wasn't around he turned out to be a good if somewhat pretentious conversationalist. He also had become so accustomed to the boys that he would protect them as well, as they discovered when they got treed by a wild boar while out in the woods. That was the incident that had driven Ferb to designing the barding; Eilyr had not come out of that without injury. They'd enjoyed the roast pork a bit more than usual afterwards.
Four years passed in relative peace and quiet. A Knight came sniffing around once, but left quite graciously after a brief chat; the fact that his hoped-for bride was only 14 and neither a princess nor wealthy might have had something to do with that. A Dark Wizard-wannabe came to challenge Phineas and left a little less graciously after Almandin smiled at him while telling him that Phineas was only there until he could be properly apprenticed to another Wizard, and would he mind waiting a few years, there's a good chap. Ferb noted at the time that a Dragon's smile was remarkably effective, depending on the results you wanted. Nobody came for or challenged Ferb, which was just the way he liked it; there were certain benefits to being a "mere" smith-in-training.
They made occasional visits to Sir Lawrence and Dame Linda, but their parents understood why they spent most of their time away from home. It wasn't quite as good as having them Awake and ready to help, but it was something. Luckily, the Loop had given them a little brother with no signs of magic at all, which meant that they could convince their parents to make him their heir, freeing them up to do what they needed to do.
They mostly enjoyed themselves. Running around a Dragon's Castle and studying all sorts of interesting things was never a bad way to spend a Loop, and they made the most of their chance. The only real shadow was that Sacharissa was never found, and the Tradition was determined to keep Isabella a Snowskin; because of that, Isabella couldn't leave the castle's grounds. It would have been worse if the grounds hadn't covered a few acres, but it was still annoying at times. The Tradition was crowding around her, though, making her an irresistible target, and none of the Danvillians were up to taking on any competent Dark magician yet without using items from their Pockets. That wasn't something they were willing to do until they were a bit more prepared to experiment on how that would work with the Tradition, which they had decided to hold off doing until they were officially Godmother, Wizard, and Dragonsmith.
Isabella's sixteenth birthday was only days away when Ferb noticed she'd become very quiet. Phineas was visiting Godmother Aleksia to help her deal with her latest idiot genius, but Ferb knew that wasn't it. He let her have her space for the first day and through his morning routine, but when she didn't show for lunch, he went looking for her. He found her sitting in one of the formal gardens, a blissed-out Eilyr's head in her lap.
He stopped for a few seconds and looked at her with a critical eye. They'd learned that her age had shielded her from Sacharissa's attempts at using her Mirror Slave to find her those first few times; the Mirror Slave had been given too broad a description, and had deliberately weaseled around the definition of "fairest of them all." He'd pointed his mistress at various icy blondes until she caught on, then chose to use the term "maiden" to describe someone of marriageable age, which Isabella was not. But she was now, by this land's standards. Oh, most girls married older, but it wasn't unheard of for them to wed at fifteen, and nobody would even blink. Different times and cultures and all that. And Ferb knew from his studies that one of the crucial Traditional times was someone's sixteenth birthday. That probably explained Isabella's silence, but he wanted to be sure.
He was just glad that they'd confirmed that wherever Sacharissa was, she hadn't acquired another Mirror Slave. They'd all grown over the years, and Isabella had gone from a pretty child to a beautiful young woman, and Iolanthe had confirmed with her own Mirror Servant that at the moment she was actually the fairest in the land. Isabella had snarked that she was probably the first person in the history of the Multiverse who hoped for an acne attack. She didn't get one, of course; if nothing else, the Tradition wouldn't allow it. She was tall, willowy, graceful, blah blah blah. Raven hair rippling down her back, ivory skin that never seemed to tan any more, deep blue eyes, and red lips that despite everything managed to smile more often than not. He'd fancied her at one point, before the Loops started, but it had never been anything serious and when he'd realized the depth of her feelings for Phineas he simply stopped considering her as a possible future date. Meeting Vanessa Doofenshmirtz had helped with that, but he'd already made up his mind before then.
The annoying voice he'd come to recognize as the Tradition trying to mess with him piped up as he watched, telling him that with Phineas still oblivious, he might have a chance if he played his cards right. He mentally told the Tradition to shut its gob and headed toward her. Eilyr's eyes snapped open, but closed again when he recognized Ferb.
"Hey, Ferb," Isabella said quietly. "Sorry I've been a little mopey lately. I just want this birthday over with so we can get on with our lives."
"Well, who could blame you? Don't take this wrong, but I'm hoping Sacharissa doesn't decide to wait until you're eighteen."
"I will wait as long as necessary to face the foul Sorceress," Eilyr said. "But it would be better for Isabella to have her dealt with with alacrity."
"Yeah. Oh, I've decided on my Godmother identity finally; I'm going to be the Snapdragon Fairy. I figured if I'm going to stay living with Almandin—which I am even if we do take care of my Stepmother—I should go for something dragonish."
"Makes sense." They'd all grown quite fond of the Dragon, and were working on ways to tweak the Tradition so they could all live with him. "Phineas will be home in time; he promised. Pinkie Promised, even."
Isabella giggled at that, remembering the look on Elena's face when he'd done so and again when he'd explained.
"The best part was when he said The Line, and Pinkie popped her head out of the fireplace to say 'FOREVER'. How does she do that?"
"That is one question I'm not sure I want answered," Ferb said. "I'm not sure even the Admins know how she does what she does. Just think of her as a less creepy Giant Floating Baby Head. No, on second thought, don't."
"Thanks, Ferb," Isabella deadpanned. "I'm blaming you for tonight's nightmares."
"Fair enough."
"Maiden, what is this Pinkie Promise? Is it an unbreakable vow? Is The Line part of the ritual? Would taking this vow aid in protecting you?"
Isabella looked at Ferb. Ferb looked at Isabella.
"You explain," they chorused, pointing at each other.
Whether it was the Pinkie Promise or not, Phineas was back in the castle the morning of Isabella's birthday. He didn't know how Godmother Aleksia did it; he was a pretty easy-going guy, but that jerk Hans could make a Quaker dope-slap him. He couldn't understand guys like that; what was the point of coming up with a cool new invention if you couldn't work on it with your friends? On the plus side, that Mage-Smith who'd been visiting was pretty cool, and had agreed to come visit them and work with Ferb for a while.
He still felt a little bad that Ferb hadn't been able to do the heavy-duty magic along with them this Loop, but not as often as he used to. After all, Ferb didn't care, so why should he? Besides, smithing was just as cool as Wizarding as far as Phineas was concerned. And it sure beat being in Isabella's position. He hadn't missed that she'd gotten quitter over the past few weeks, and he couldn't blame her. It had to be hard knowing that someone out there wanted to kill you just so they could get your magic, and that they were so determined that they'd kill anyone in their way. That kind of thing didn't happen in Danville, and knowing that there were places where it was a thing was one of the biggest downsides of the Loops.
After he'd poked his head in to say hello to Almandin, he headed toward the rose garden. It was one of Isabella's favorite places, and he hoped to set up her present there. He hoped she'd like it; he'd worked on it with Elena for a month.
"Hey, Phineas, what'cha doin'?"
"Oh, hi, Isabella, I—whoa." Whatever Phineas was going to say was driven completely out his mind as he looked at his friend. She was dressed in a crimson gown that clung gently to her figure, with her usual sash across her, um, well, her…. Phineas knew his face was as red as his hair as he tried not to follow the curve of the sash with his eyes. They weren't often in Loops together when they had a chance to grow up, but Isabella always liked to tease him like this when they were. He made a deliberate effort not to think about any reasons why, because no matter how old they got in other Loops, in baseline they were still less than fifteen. He didn't want to start anything they wouldn't be able to continue back home. "Uh, nice dress."
"Distracting, isn't it?" The change in voice warned him, but not in time. He tried not to breathe as the cloud of powder settles around him, but it didn't help; he felt himself freeze in place as the fake Isabella walked around him. "Typical male; show them a girl in a flattering gown and they stop thinking. So very useful to me, though, so I shouldn't complain. Now, here are your orders…"
He found himself a passenger in his own body, forced to watch as he headed for the herb garden. Isabella was there, not dressed up yet, but still beautiful. The force in control stopped and cleared his throat, giving Isabella a shy smile.
"Hey, Isabella, I got you something." Of course it was an apple. What else could it be? He tried to break free of Sacharissa's control, hoped that Isabella would be warned by the mere presence of the apple, but either Isabella was not paying as much attention as she should be or the Tradition was making her hold the Idiot Ball. She took it with a blush and an answering smile and bit into it. Seconds later, her eyes widened as the apple did its work. The horrified look in her eyes almost gave him the strength to break free, but not quite.
"Phineas? What did she-" and Isabella slumped to the ground. That was Sacharissa's cue, and she dropped her invisibility spell, laughing like the demented harpy she was. The Dark Sorceress scooped up her unconscious victim and disappeared again, leaving Phineas trapped until her spell wore off.
A hand grabbed his shoulder and spun him around. He had just enough time to see cold blue eyes under a thatch of green hair before Ferb's punch knocked him sprawling. Even if he could have blocked it, he wouldn't have. He'd blown it again.
"Get up." Ferb hadn't sounded that cold when talking to him since the Darth Ferb thing, but this time there was no –inator to blame for it. Just him. "What the hell were you thinking? An apple? Today? What did you think was going to happen? If Isabella dies because you thought you'd be clever, I will never forgive you. I don't care if she'll be fine in her next Loop. Now get up so we can start fixing your mess."
He tried, but the spell still wouldn't let him go. Ferb growled and hauled him up, looking like he was ready to punch him again, but instead just dragged him to the library and tossed him down in front of Almandin.
"Oh, I say, what's all this in aid of?"
"Sacharissa has Isabella, and this idiot is the one who let her do it."
"WHAT?!" Almandin surged to his feet and bent low over Phineas. He saw smoke curling out of the Dragon's nostrils and he knew he was going to die. Almandin took a deep breath, and Phineas wondered how much it was going to hurt.
8.10 (katfairy): [Phineas and Ferb] / [The Five Hundred Kingdoms]
Phineas and Ferb in the 500 Kingdoms, part 10
Ferb stepped forward, horrified. Okay, he was furious at his brother for doing something so thoughtless, but that didn't mean he wanted to see him get flamed or eaten by a Dragon. He only stopped when he realized that Almandin had done the same and was staring at Phineas, eyes narrowed.
"Hang about; that's not right," Almandin grumbled, leaning down to look closer. Phineas wasn't moving. Or talking. In fact, now that Ferb thought about it, Phineas hadn't done anything on his own since handing Isabella that apple. He wished he'd been close enough and at the right angle to have seen exactly what happened even if he couldn't stop it; all he knew for certain was that the second Isabella, the one in the red dress, had to be Sacharissa. Almandin raised his head again and roared for Col, who came running.
"Sent for the Godmothers already. Lad's got a spell on him, no doubt. Must have walked right into the Stepmother's trap, though how he managed without leaving the castle I'm sure I can't say. We took care of every way in we found, and there's no way she got in through any of them."
"Then she bloody well found a way we didn't know about, didn't she? Start searching all of the passages, even—no, especially the ones we thought were too dangerous to use. Ferb, you go too. I'll deal with Phineas."
Ferb hesitated for a second, then left, hoping Phineas would still be alive later to be yelled at again. He must have left the castle at some point; there was no way Sacharissa could have gotten inside the castle without help and her magic wouldn't have worked on most of the people living there. How could he have been so stupid? And Isabella wouldn't have taken the apple from anyone but Phineas; it would never occur to her that Phineas would put her at risk. Well, not beyond what they faced in Danville, but despite what Candace seemed to think, they did take precautions when building their creations, and Phineas was as careful about that as Ferb. More, actually; Ferb had managed to get hurt a few times, but mostly because he'd been the one to flake on something. Like smacking himself in the head with a wrench, or sitting on a box with a lid that popped even though he'd been the one to build the thing. Phineas might act more scattered, but he usually had more sense than that. Had the Tradition blindsided him?
Ferb continued to think about it as he searched and the more he thought, the more that idea made sense. Even the Godmothers could get caught by the Tradition sometimes, and they were more used to it. It had become more and more obvious that the Tradition wanted Isabella to be a Snowskin; Isabella's sudden inability to maintain a tan over the last year was proof enough of that. And then there was her beauty, which had been growing exponentially. Isabella was pretty enough in baseline, but here she had become absolutely stunning; the fairest of them all, when you got down to it. If the Tradition could do that, how hard would it have been for it to make Phineas screw up so spectacularly? The Tradition, Ferb thought for the nth time, was a cheating bastard.
Something landed on his shoulder with a full load of claws and Ferb yelped. He was about to fight when a familiar voice hissed in his ear.
"Stupid twolegs! Stupid lizard! Why won't you listen?" It was the cat, and she was not happy. Ferb stopped, bracing himself so that she wouldn't slide off.
"Listen to what?"
"The only one who saw what happened and tried to get stupid people's attention before Badwitch took Softhands. Lizard won't listen, Fae won't listen, you won't listen! Be better off with dogs!"
"I'm listening now. What happened?"
"Longlegs went to the rose garden to set up a surprise for Softhands. Softhands came up behind him, but it wasn't really her. She smelled wrong, like blood and death. And deer, for some reason. Longlegs wasn't expecting her, and was surprised himself. Then false Softhands threw smelly powder on him and he couldn't move. She started giving orders and I went to get help but NOBODY LISTENED!" The cat's claws dug in as she screeched directly into his ear; he wasn't sure which was more likely to be bleeding afterwards. Then what she said filtered through.
"Wait—she was already in the castle when she got Phineas? How?"
"How would I know? If she was a cat, that would be answer enough, but you lot do things no sensible cat would try and don't do the things that do make sense. Now are you going to tell Lizard before he eats Longlegs? I like Longlegs; he gives me tasty things."
"So do I."
"Yes, but you're being stupid right now, and I don't like stupid."
"…I really wish I could argue that. Right, let's go." Ferb turned and headed back to the library feeling sick. He'd been angry with Phineas for screwing up, but he was beginning to suspect he'd done much worse, and without even having the Tradition for an excuse. He could hardly blame Phineas for being blindsided inside the castle, and not just on the grounds, but within the walls. Even now he had a hard time believing Sacharissa could have gotten in undetected, but the cat didn't lie. Which mean that he had just said some really awful things to Phineas for doing something he hadn't done or couldn't control. Knowing Phineas would forgive him just made it worse; he'd turned on his brother without even considering why Phineas would have acted that way.
He reached the library and entered without knocking, not surprised to find Iolanthe and Elena both standing over Phineas, who was still in the exact same position he'd landed in when Ferb had dropped him. Almandin watched them, still smoking more than usual.
"—still a ruddy idiot to leave the grounds. I told him nobody was to leave the walls today, and I meant it."
"He didn't." Ferb said, but they didn't seem to hear him.
"Believe me, I'll be talking to him about that," Elena said, a dangerous tone in her voice. "Even if the Tradition was getting after him, he should know enough by now to have figured out that's what it was. This is making me seriously wonder if we should allow him to continue training as a Wizard."
"Oh, my dear, it could be worse than that," Iolanthe sighed. "If he's lost us a promising young Godmother, we'll be lucky if my Queen stops at draining his magic. She may be merciful because of his youth, but considering she nearly executed me just for marrying Daniel-"
"No," Ferb gasped, staggering. The cat hissed, digging her claws in again, but still neither Dragon nor Godmothers noticed them.
"—I really wouldn't care to take a chance on that. Almandin, have you had any luck at gathering others to help us?"
"Devil a bit, when have I had time? Brownies are all out searching, Eilyr's half out of his what wits he had—had a job keeping him from skewering the young idiot on the spot, I tell you—and the few Wise Beasts we have are nowhere to be found."
"They're out searching too, stupid Lizard," the cat grumbled, also going unheard.
"Well, the important thing now is to get Isabella back. Sacharissa won't do anything until midnight, which gives us a few hours, but we have to find her." Elena shook her head.
"Well, there is one way that might work," Iolanthe mused. "He's under her spell, and we might be able to use that to track her. Use him as a compass."
"That's pretty dangerous," Elena said. "If he's still under her control when we find her, she could use him against us or just kill him."
"If she does the first, we'll stop him by whatever means necessary. If it's the second, well…" Iolanthe shrugged. "You know what the Fae consider justice. He might be better off if she does kill him."
"No." This time they heard him and turned. Iolanthe frowned and started to open her mouth, but Ferb silenced her with a glare. "You are not using Phineas like that, and if your precious Queen wants him, she has to go through me. You lot aren't too fond of Cold Iron, are you? Care to see how well you do against a smith with I don't know how many Loops worth of experience? If she hurts him, I'll spend the rest of this Loop making her pay, and if she kills him, then you've just declared war."
"Weren't you ready to let me roast him less than an hour ago?" Almandin blinked.
"No. Besides, I was wrong. I should have trusted Phineas, and that's what will really put Isabella at risk. If I hadn't lost my temper, we'd be over an hour ahead of where we are now." Ferb took the cat off his shoulder and put her on the table. "Now tell them what you told me."
She did. After what he'd just heard, it was gratifying to see the Godmothers turn pale and Almandin look as horrified as Ferb felt. The cat wasn't too impressed with any of them at the moment and wasn't shy about letting them know it. There are few living things that can deflate an ego like an unimpressed cat, and that was when they couldn't speak the same language. By the time she was finished, all of them felt like the biggest idiots in the history of a very stupid people.
"So are you going to take the spell off Longlegs or not?" the cat finished. Iolanthe was looking a bit shell-shocked; Ferb was willing to bet she'd never been dressed down by a cat before. Elena, on the other hand, twitched a little and raised her wand.
"Yes. I'm almost certain what spell she used, but give me a few more minutes to be sure. Iolanthe, you haven't told your Queen about this yet, have you? You did wait until you had all the information?"
"I didn't, but Fleta was visiting and while I told her not to go running off, you know what a gossip she is. She might be too distracted by Phyllis being expecting again, and I wouldn't put it past Phyllis to play that up; you know how fond she is of the boys."
"Go check, and if she's gone, go straight to your queen and make sure she hears what we just did. Cat—I do wish you'd let us give you a name-"
"Why? I'd just ignore it. But I'll go with her. And if that Queen won't listen, I'll scratch her wings off."
"She doesn't have—oh, never mind. Come along, cat." Iolanthe hurried off, staying far enough ahead to keep the cat from jumping on her shoulders. Elena turned back to Phineas and studied him, then looked at Ferb.
"I need you to go to the stillroom and fetch me small bunches of pine, thyme, snowdrop, rue, white pinks, mugwort, and most especially coltsfoot. Oh, and sumac. Fresh is best, dried if necessary, and a tincture will do in a pinch, which this certainly is," she said. "I can only hope he's been unaware of what's going on, or he may never forgive us. And at the moment, I'm not sure he wouldn't be in the right."
Ferb ran. It didn't take him long to find what they needed; the stillroom shelves were meticulously organized. He swept the items into a basket and got back to the library as quickly as he could. Elena had set up a small silver brazier next to Phineas, and Almandin was just spitting out a tiny spark to light the coals underneath. She nodded at him and grabbed the basket without a word, getting straight to work. She muttered under her breath constantly, sometimes drawing in the air, sometimes on Phineas, which made Ferb twitch every time it happened. She only stopped to drop something into the brazier, and before long the library was more full of smoke than the small amount of fuel justified. It wasn't hard to tell when the spell ended, though; as soon as she dropped in the last bit of sumac, there was a soft whumph and the smoke suddenly cleared.
Phineas sagged, moaning softly. Ferb hesitated for a moment, wondering if Phineas would even want to see him, until he saw his brother shivering. Within seconds he was on the floor, holding Phineas, babbling apologies. Phineas didn't respond, and after a few minutes slumped even further. For one terrified heartbeat Ferb thought that breaking the spell had killed him before he realized Phineas had just passed out. He looked up at Elena, who he wasn't surprised to see had tears in her eyes.
"He was awake for all of it, wasn't he?" he asked, voice shaking. Elena just nodded. Ferb closed his own eyes, wincing. It was Almandin who summed up what they were all thinking.
"Well, bugger."
8.6-8.10: And the adventure continues.