Disclaimer: All rights to Rick Riordan. I own nothing, but the plot.
Themes of self-harm, anxiety, and depression are expressed within this story. TRIGGER WARNING! Please do NOT read if these themes upset you. TRIGGER WARNING!
Criticism is appreciated, but please no hate. Please review and leave me suggestions! Enjoy!
Will's POV:
"Nico!" Will screamed. The door wouldn't open. Nico must have locked it behind. Whether on purpose or accident, he didn't know.
"I can get the key!" Kayla interjected.
"There's no time if he collapsed," Will shouted. "I'm going to need some ambrosia after this." He breathed in deeply, focusing. He rammed his shoulder against the door. Once, twice. It hurt like a mother. Three times. The lock was starting to give way. "C'mon Nico." On the fourth push, the door sprung open.
Will tumbled in, catching himself before he hit the floor. Kayla stuck her head in after, both siblings quickly searching the bathroom. Nico was huddled against the shower wall, still fully clothed. Tears were streaming down his face, mixing with the shower water. Will straightened, looking over his boyfriend with sympathy. He walked over to the shower, pulling off his shoes and socks. He stepped into the shower wall to join Nico. He vaguely heard Kayla step out of the bathroom to give them privacy. Nico looked up as Will sat under the warm water with him.
"Will-" he trailed off.
"I'm right here," Will reassured Nico.
He didn't touch Nico, waiting for the younger boy to initiate contact. Nico's bottom lip trembled, and he threw his arms around Will. The thin arms gripped Will tightly and Will returned the hug with as much intensity.
"I'm sorry-" Nico sobbed. "I mess everything up- I can't- I can't- I can't even shower correctly-"
"Hey, you don't need to apologize for anything. You are okay. You have done nothing wrong." Will rubbed circles into Nico's back to try and calm him down.
"But- but- but I flinched- when you tried to touch- touch me. What's wrong with me?!" Nico released Will, wrapping his arms around himself. He was choking on tears and shower water. "You-you aren't going to- hurt- hurt me, why- why am I scared? I'm-I'm so-STUPID!" He gripped his hands tightly in fists.
"No, you aren't." Will reasoned. He took both of Nico's hands in his, causing him to release the pressure. Will didn't want Nico to break the skin. "You have been in a terrible circumstance and it is perfectly normal to feel scared and freaked out. I'd be nervous if you weren't scared."
"But- bu- I heard you and Kayla talking- there's something wrong with me-"
Will felt a stab of guilt. He should have known that Nico would have been listening. "There is nothing wrong with you. We are just worried about you. We just want you to feel safe."
"I'm not safe," Nico whispered, looking blankly into the distance. "He can get me anywhere."
Will put his hand under Nico's chin, lightly pushing it up. The movement caused Nico to meet Will's eyes. Their eyes stayed locked. Will could see the haunted look in Nico's eyes. "He cannot and will not get you. He will never hurt you again. He is under close watch by Jason and Percy. Kayla and I will be here to watch over you. He isn't getting in here, I promise."
"Don't make promises you can't keep," Nico begged.
"We are going to keep you safe, okay?" Will said. Nico didn't answer. "Okay?"
"Whatever you say," Nico said dismissively.
They were silent except for the shower running. Nico must have gotten too deep in thought again because he burst into tears. Will wrapped his arms around Nico and Nico let him. He melted into Will's arms and the two boys let the water rain down on them.
Kayla's POV:
She waited for three hours before trying to go back into Nico's room. She didn't want to worsen the problem or interrupt the two boys, but Nico was her patient; she had a duty to perform. She took in a deep breath before slowly opening the door. She was surprised to find Nico sitting up in bed and Will in scrubs. He must have changed out of his wet clothing. She could still see evidence of his trip into the shower with the damp hair on his head curling in as it dried. He looked up as she entered. He smiled.
"Hey, Kayla."
She looked suspiciously around. "What's going on here?" She looked at Nico. "Is everything okay?"
She tried to gauge what he was feeling based on his outside appearance. It seemed that some of the tension that Nico held inside himself had released, and though the bags under his eyes were present, he looked lighter. The haunted look that usually reflected in his eyes had dimmed considerably. He looked... normal.
"Yeah, everything's fine. Sorry about earlier. I just got a little upset." Nico causally said. Kayla was shocked at his nonchalant tone. What had happened in that shower?
"No worries. I'm just going to look at your wounds really quickly and then leave you be." She quickly started examining Nico.
Everything was healing well. She nodded at Nico, indicating that he was okay, and started to leave the room, beckoning Will. Will followed and shut the door behind him.
"What's going on?" Will breathlessly asked. "Is something wrong?"
"That's what I was going to ask you. What happened in the shower?" Kayla tried to imply what she was thinking without saying it. Will caught on.
"Oh." He lightly said. He turned bright red. "Nothing-nothing like that! Oh my gods, nothing like that. Kayla!"
"What? He just seemed really happy. He was just upset before. I wanted to know if anything like that had happened."
"No! Absolutely nothing like that." Will stuttered. "We were just talking, I swear. He just told me everything that was happening. He's a lot better now."
"I can tell," Kayla commented.
"He wants to see everyone," Will said point-blank.
An uneasy feeling passed through Kayla. "I don't know if that's the best idea."
"It's what he wants. And I want to give him whatever he wants right now. No matter what I-what we think is the best for him."
"But, he's normal... he's okay right now." Kayla pointed out. "Don't we want to let him remain happy for as long as we can? We don't want to overwhelm him."
"He's not happy or back to normal at all." Will ran his hand through his hair, a nervous habit that Kayla didn't think Will knew he had. "He's just- I managed to calm him down for a little while but the memories and nightmares... they'll be back... something will trigger hi-"
"Which is why I think it is unwise to let his friends come in." Kayla interrupted. "More people are more likely to set him off."
"Come on, Kayla." Exasperation was tangible in Will's words. "I will be in there, to make sure nothing bad happens. It's what he wants. Let's give him what he wants. You even said it yourself; the trial is going to come around. That's going to be traumatic for him. Let him have what he wants. Let him have time with his friends."
Kayla looked at her brother. She could see the sincerity he had in his words. He believed that this was the best for Nico. She groaned and rubbed her eyes.
"Fine, but only a couple of people." She pointed a finger at Will. "And no longer than an hour."
Will's face broke out into a smile. Kayla's heart soared. She had seen her brother go through hell the past week, blaming himself for Nico's experience and injuries. It was good to see a shadow of the old William Solace. "You have my word, sis."
Jason's POV:
Annabeth, Percy, Piper, and Jason were all sitting at the Zeus table. Jason was going to be the only one at it again since the Hunters had shipped out that morning. Chiron had relieved them four from their duties of guarding the assailants, claiming that they needed a break.
Annabeth had her head in her hands and Percy was whispering soothing words in her ear. She was extremely stressed out, unable to break any of the four suspects they had. The evidence they had was enough, but Chiron wanted confessions if at all possible. Jason was frustrated for Annabeth; Chiron was putting so much pressure on her to lead this investigation. Her duty to Chiron was turning campers against her even though she was just trying to do her job.
She was just a teenager. She was missing her senior year to lead the investigation. Jason didn't doubt that she would be able to catch up, but he knew she longed to return to finish high school. And Annabeth was concerned about Percy, who was also missing a lot of school. Percy was smart, but Jason doubted that he would recover any assignments he has missed. His thoughts were interrupted by a hand on his arm. He looked up to find Piper speaking to him.
"-listening, Jason? Hello?"
"Sorry, what did you say?"
Piper smiled, patiently. Jason had been zoning off quite frequently the past couple of days. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah, just lost in thought."
"About?"
Jason sighed. "Just everything that's going on. I'm worried about Nico. And Annabeth." He said quietly, not wanting to disturb the other couple. But Percy and Annabeth were locked in their own world, each other their only focus.
Piper looked across the table at Annabeth. The concern Jason felt was reflected in her eyes. "She'll be okay. She's strong." Her luminous eyes met his again. "And I'm sure Will is taking care of Nico."
"I want to see him-"
"Your wish is my command." Jason stood quickly at the words. Kayla was standing there. The demigods were shocked that Kayla had snuck up on them. Even Percy and Annabeth had snapped out of their reverie.
"Wait, really?" Jason didn't dare believe it. "We can see him?"
His friends stood up behind him, ready to rush to the infirmary before Kayla revoked her offer.
"Not all of you at once. Only a couple of people at a time. We don't want him to be overwhelmed. Hazel and Reyna are already down there, but if one of you wanted to come..." she trailed off, indicating that they needed to decide amongst themselves. The four demigods all looked at each other, as if daring the others to take the offer first. Annabeth was the first to make a move.
"I'll make it easier. I'll stay out of this." She sat down, a depressed look coming across her face. "He probably doesn't want to see me anyway; not with the investigation and all the questions. And Will probably won't allow me to even come in after the incident."
"I'm sure Nico holds nothing against you," Percy assured her. "But if you're sure, I'll stay behind with you." Which left Jason and Piper. They looked at each other.
"Nico knows you better-"
"You've gotten close the past couple of weeks-" they both said simultaneously.
"You can go, Jason," Piper said.
"Are you sure?" Jason asked.
"Yeah. You are like a brother to him. He'll be happy to see you."
"Okay." Jason smiled, secretly relieved. He had wanted to see Nico so badly but didn't want to seem selfish or take anyone else's spot away. "I guess I'm with you, Kayla."
Kayla beckoned him to follow her down the hill. He jogged to catch up and she immediately started talking.
"Will and I have some ground rules before you can see him. First, Nico is still very shaken up, so do not mention anything about the trial or any camp gossip. We don't want to upset him. Secondly, no touching unless he initiates contact. Finally, the moment he seems freaked out or nervous, you leave the room, no questions asked. We do not want any panic attacks." By the time Kayla had concluded her list, they had arrived outside the infirmary. "Is that all understood?"
"Yes." She inclined an eyebrow. Even with her dyed green hair and messy bandana, she was very intimidating. "Yes ma'am!"
She smirked. "You can go on in."
Jason opened the door for himself and headed back to Nico's room. The door was ajar. He walked over the threshold. He noticed Will standing with his back against the wall, arms crossed over his chest, surveying the scene. He nodded a greeting to Jason. Jason nodded back and looked over to the bed. He braced himself to see an emaciated Nico but found him looking... normal.
Hazel was sitting on the bed, not in contact with him. They were discussing something quietly. Reyna was standing off the side, far enough to not invade Nico's space, but close enough to make a few remarks to Hazel's anecdote. She looked up as Jason entered. Only she and her sharp instincts noticed when he quietly stepped in. That and her familiarity with Jason, which was reciprocated. Jason could tell it was Reyna just by the sound of her footsteps, the rhythm of her breathing. That kind of bond and familiarity which only comes from intense training and the close bond that forms between praetors. Frank and Reyna would eventually be that close one day.
Hazel broke off her story when she realized Reyna wasn't paying attention. She looked up.
"Jason." Hazel was the first to speak.
"Hey guys, I just came in to check on Nico." Jason took another step into the room, gauging Nico's reaction to make sure he didn't mess anything up. "Nico, how's everything going?"
"As good as it can be, locked in this infirmary." He raised his eyebrows at Will.
Will scoffed. "Oh, don't give me that. You like being in here. It means you get to spend more time with me."
"I can't argue with that," Nico replied. Jason took another cautious step into the room. Nico looked at him with a weird expression. "What are you doing? You can come in. I don't bite."
"Sorry, I just have a lot on mind." Jason realized his mistake before it was too late.
"Like what?" Nico's response was fast as a whip.
Crap. "Nothing too major. Thalia and the Hunters left today so I was sad to see her go."
Nice recovery. He mentally patted himself on the back. Nico raised his eyebrow.
"That's not it," Nico said. "You are supposed to be guarding Aaron. Did something happen?"
"And how do you figure that?" Jason joked, trying to divert attention away from Aaron. That was literally one of the things he wasn't supposed to talk about. "Are you a mind reader or something? Cause I would tell you to get re-certified."
"Don't lie. That's what you're thinking about, isn't it?" Nico pushed.
"A lie detector too? Wow, where did you find all these skills?"
"Stop avoiding the question, Jason, why aren't you at your post? What do you know about the trial? I want to know what's going on, but no one will tell me anything."
Jason looked helplessly at Will. He stepped forward. "We don't really need to be talking about the trial."
"Why?" Nico said sharply. "Because I freaked out earlier with Kayla? Is that why Jason is literally tiptoeing in here? Why can't anyone just treat me normally and not like I'm breakable!"
"Nico, we-" Hazel started, but Nico wasn't done.
Jason had a feeling that Nico had kept this all bottled up for a while. The boy was just ready to burst. He sat up, swinging his legs over the edge.
"I only freaked out about the trial around Kayla because I didn't know it was coming. But I have to come to terms with it eventually. I just want to know what I have to do."
Reyna sighed. "You know Chiron keeps all the information confidential. He doesn't want anyone-"
Nico, much to Jason's dismay, stood. "That's BS, and you know it. I want to know what's going on. I'm tough; I can handle it."
He took a step forward, and, to no one's surprise, collapsed. Jason saw it from a mile away and already had his arms wrapped around Nico before he hit the floor. He then remembered that that was also one of Kayla's rules. And after seeing Nico's face, he now understood why. When Nico first came into contact, his eyes immediately went into panic mode. They were flashing around as if looking for an exit.
"Nico-" Jason started
"No!" Nico gasped. He started struggling in Jason's grasp, trying to pull himself away. "Let me go!"
Jason would have released him, but Nico would have immediately fallen if he let go. He held on a few more seconds, righting the boy. Nico pounded on his arms and chest, begging to be released. Jason complied and Nico latched onto the wall, in a defensive position.
"Please don't hurt me!"
Jason held out his hands to show his lack of a weapon. "I'm not going to hurt you. See? I'm unarmed. I would never hurt you, Nico."
"No! Please!" Nico slowly slid down the wall, curling in, trying to make himself smaller. "I'll do- I'll do anything." Tears formed in his eyes. "Please don't hurt me."
Jason put two and two together. Nico was flashing back to the forest, triggered by his contact with Jason. He knelt down before Nico, making himself small as well. "I'm not going to, I promise."
He tried to move forward, but Nico flinched and delved further into himself. Red seeped from the bandages around his chest.
A hand grabbed Jason's shoulder and pushed him back. "Let me handle this." A voice sounded in his ear. Will.
He spoke in a soothing, musical tone. "Nico, it's going to be okay. You are in the infirmary on Camp Half-Blood. You are safe."
But Nico was too far gone to be reasoned with. "No! Don't lie to me!" Anguish lined his words. "Please. Let me go!" The two boys ganging up on him overwhelmed him.
Without breaking eye contact with Nico's haunted eyes, Will barked out an instruction. "Hazel. There is a syringe on the back counter. Besides that, there is a vial. Do you see it?" He waited for her affirmation before continuing. "Fill the syringe and bring it to me." He switched his voice to sound like honey again. "Nico, you have no reason to fear. Just take my hand and I'll protect you."
"No!" He screamed. "You won't, you're lying!" He started hyperventilating, choking on his tears.
"Hazel, hurry," Will said with urgency. Reyna and Jason just watched in shock. They had seen glimpses of Nico's panic attacks before, but never a full one. He turned his focus back onto Nico, inching closer. "Hey, hey, hey now, it's all right. Shhhh. It's okay."
"No!" Nico sobbed out. "Nothing-noth-nothing is okay!"
Jason was scared of what would happen if Nico's heart started beating any faster. He looked over his shoulder. Hazel was finally finished. She jogged over and handed the needle to Will. Will took a breath in and gained eye contact with the panicking boy.
"I'm sorry I have to do this." Before Nico could process his words, Will lunged at Nico.
Nico screamed as Will wrapped his arms around the son of Hades, the boy between his legs. Will held down his flailing limbs with his two legs and one arm. He steadied Nico's right arm and plunged the needle in. Nico moaned and tried to pull away. The sedative, however, already took hold. Nico started to calm, a relaxed expression on his face. It was quite the juxtaposition. A content expression with tears staining his face. Nico looked up at Will as he faded into unconsciousness. Will slumped against the wall, Nico collapsed on top of him.
"Will-" Jason started. Will merely held up a hand, stopping him.
"I don't want to hear it."
"I'm sorry." Jason couldn't stop himself. "I promise you; I didn't mean to cause any trouble."
"Well, you did." Will bluntly said. "And he was doing so well this morning." He let out a frustrated sigh. "Kayla was right; this was a bad idea. There will be no more visitors." Hazel and Reyna both let out exasperated sighs. "Not until he is fully back to normal. You are his first and last. Now please leave." Jason, at first, didn't move. "Now!" He added a little force behind his words, causing Hazel, Reyna, and Jason to get up and leave the room.