Disclaimer: All Disney works are the property of The Walt Disney Company. All other characters and settings are the property of their respective legal owners.
Author's note: Originally posted by Anon e Mouse Jr. on 2017-12-09. This is the first of four chapters posted today. It is also the first of another multi-chapter arc... a little adventure we call Gravity Falls: Friendship Is Magic.
Disney/Kingdom Hearts Loops, Chapter Twenty-Two, Part One
22.1 (GMBlackjack): [My Little Pony] / [Gravity Falls] - also compiled in MLP Time Loops as Loop 160.6.
Gravity Falls: Friendship is Magic, part 1
Twilight Awoke on a bus, with all five of her closest friends with her. She could feel the right combination of Elements, guessed that they were all Awake, and waved. They waved back. They were all human, in their Canterlot High forms. (Although they were younger, and Rainbow Dash was wearing jeans instead of a skirt.)
She sent out a Ping, receiving one response other than the Element bearers. The six of them scanned their Loop memories, quickly noticing one odd detail:
"Sextuplets?" Rarity said, eyes wide. "Is that even possible?"
Twilight nodded. "Hub world record for most children born at once that survived is eight. That's two more than six." She decided to examine the surroundings. It was midday, the sun high enough in the sky that the bus' roof completely obscured the ball of energy at all angles. The sky was cloudless, which was standard for a summer day in the Oregon forest. Speaking of forest, there were trees. Everywhere. Gigantic tall pine trees that loomed ominously against the sky, brushing the air with their tips. The bus itself, the Speedy Beaver, was a piece of junk. Torn up cushions, random stuff under the cushions -
"Hey! Let's play treasure hunt!" Pinkie yelled, peeling up a cushion. "Oo! Old gum, a stain that looks like Shawn, a cockroach, and a balloon!"
Twilight ignored Pinkie's antics. Right now, she was trying to figure out where they were. She reached into her Pocket and began to search through Hub fiction, looking for anything similar to their situation. She was stopped by Fluttershy. "Twilight? Can we not try to know what's going to happen? Just… live through the Loop?"
Twilight blinked. "Sure. Why not." She put the Hub fiction device back into her Pocket and sat down, attempting to enjoy the ride. "Where are we going, anyway?"
Applejack pointed out the window at a sign. "Some town called Gravity Falls. Our Grunkle Stan is going to watch us for the summer. My unAwake self was looking forwards to this trip, been a while since we'd been in the country apparently."
Rarity sighed, leaning on her hand in a overly-dramatic pose. "We're going to a back-of-the-woods town in the middle of nowhere. There's not likely to be ANYone who has ANY fashion sense…"
Rainbow Dash grinned. "Back-of-the-woods town? Sounds like adventure! We shall explore the entire town and root out all sorts of mysteries! THE MYSTERY SIX! I shall -"
"Darling…" Rarity said. "The Scooby-Doo Loop wasn't THAT fun…"
"It was fun enough to warrant a name. Mystery Six. We will brave great dangers and discover the mysteries of the town…"
"Yer bein' redundant," Applejack muttered, adjusting her hat.
"Oh, really?" Rainbow said. "I'll have you know I'm an author and I know redundancy. I did not mention danger the first time, and mysteries just needed to be solidified. MYSTERIES!"
Pinkie Pie jumped in, wearing her deerstalker and sugar-bubble pipe. "MYSTERIES!" she yelled, taking a deep breath, springing into a heartsong.
Mysteries, mysteries!
Oh how I love these!
Mysteries, mysteries!
Bigfoot! Mothman! Hunks of swiss cheese!
These are all my big mysteries!
Is it true or is it not?
These are all the questions I've got!
Can you see?
My curiosity?
Mysteries, mysteries!
Oh how I love these!
Mysteries, mysteries!
Halflings! Zalgo's screen! Blue zombie plagues!
There stories are all just so vague!
Big ol' pot of Neglish rot!
Or mutants that like tater tot?
What is truth?
Can we be the true sleuth?
Mysteries, mysteries!
Oh how I love these!
Mysteries, mysteries!
Stargates! Zodiacs! Constellations!
Mysteries from all the nations!
All of them congregate there!
A place which we are so near!
Can you feel?
The great alluring zeal?
Oh look there, here is the place!
The place where gravity falls, and earth becomes sky!
Beware the beast with just one eye!
As the song ended, the Speedy Beaver bus pulled into the small town of Gravity Falls, stopping at the outskirts. The six sisters stepped out, looking at their new surroundings. The town was situated in what appeared to be a gorge, with two steep crevasses towards the northern end of the town, which were connected by a metal wire-frame bridge. Beneath the bridge were two large gashes in the crevasses, giving them the appearance of two Pac-Men staring at each other. The river flowed between them into town, where it met up with a waterfall, creating a small, but deep, lake. The southern edge was bordered by thick, deep, dark forest, the water tower standing up out of the canopy. Several large mansions could be seen lining the higher-elevation areas, looking down on the mish-mashed look of the town itself. There was a mixture of cars and bikes, modern looking buildings such as a mall, old sheds that looked like they'd been there since the days of Lewis and Clark, and other buildings that looked like some unholy combination of the two. The town seemed to be a living contradiction: modern mixed with ancient, fancy cars alongside horse-drawn carriages.
What really caused the six to reconsider was the fact that roughly half the buildings were somewhat familiar. Although there was much less pink dashed around everywhere, there was no mistaking the ice-cream shape of Sugarcube Corner, the tall and circular design of the Town Hall, the Library made out of a giant tree…
There was no doubt about it. This town was a fusion of two places. Gravity Falls and Ponyville, thrown together in the backwoods of Oregon.
Twilight pondered this. "Huh. Wonder who we'll see here?"
Pinkie grinned. "I can't wait to know EVERYONE and find out ALL THEIR BIRTHDAYS and ALL THE PARTIES and… a whole new town Twilight! Can you believe it? Woohoo!"
Applejack blinked. "Pinkie, every Loop you have a new town. And this is far from the first one that's been at least partly like Ponyville -"
"Hush now, one-who-is-standing-in-the-way-of-party. ALL new places are amazing!"
Rarity spoke up. "Darlings, we should probably check in with our Grunkle Stan first, so we don't upset anything. That is, if we are going to follow this Loop through."
Twilight nodded. "Come on girls, we need to head to the Mystery Shack."
"The mystery whatsis now?" Rainbow said "Sounds lame and run down. I want ADVENTURE!"
Twilight rolled her eyes. "Let's just get settled in first. We can go searching for trouble later."
Stan Pines, Mister Mystery, was waiting at the front door like he did every Loop. He was a tall man with a thick figure, and despite his old age he managed to look strong and even full of energy. He wore a red fez, with a strange golden symbol on it that resembled Pac-Man crossed with a goldfish cracker. The Pac-Man fish's mouth was open ever so slightly, seemingly reaching for the golden dot in front of it. Unfortunately, being nothing more than a symbol on a hat, the Pac-Man fish would never, ever be able to eat the dot. Such a shame, really. Stan's face was square-jawed, covered in stubble, and had an eyepatch across one eye. He was wearing what appeared to be a black and white showman's uniform crossed with a tuxedo. It gave the appearance of being fancy, while at the same time looking somewhat cheesy and overdone. Choking his neck was a red cord tied into a knot with four tassels. He was currently staring intently at his watch.
"Five… Four… Three…. Two… One…" he said before opening the door quickly. Twilight, who had been in the process of preparing to knock, stumbled into the front room. "Um… Hi. I'm Twilight. I assume you are Grunkle Stan? You sure must be Loopy to take all six of us for the entire summer."
Stan grinned. "My unAwake self made that decision, as he does every Loop. Come in, make yourselves at home." He generously gestured with a wave of his arm. The six walked into the Mystery Shack, into a large room. There was paraphernalia littered everywhere, from T-shirts to baseball caps to snowglobes, all priced at least four times too high. Further along several examples of obviously-fake taxidermy littered the walls. There was a jackalope with three antlers, a horse made entirely of corn, and a squirrel with a duck head. Each of these "exhibits" had a rather uncreative name attached to them: "trackelope," "ecorn," and "squck" just to name a few. There were also "adventuring supplies", such as a grappling hook, rope, a crossbow, and more rope.
"OKAY - I take the first part back. NOT lame," Dash said. "Some of this stuff is actually pretty cool!" she said as she picked up a crystal eye.
Stan quickly tore the red crystalline eye out of Rainbow's grasp. "That's not for sale. Don't touch that."
"I thought we were living with you - why can't I touch your whatsawagigs?" Dash said.
Twilight sighed inwardly at Rainbow's use of "whatsis" again.
Stan glared. "My shack. My rules. I say what happens and what doesn't. Also, I'm the resident Looper here. I know things."
"Oh, well, good for you, Mr. Protective," Dash sarcastically muttered, rolling her eyes as she picked up a multi-colored geode.
"You touch it, you buy it," Stan said, gesturing to Dash to fork over some money.
Rainbow Dash quickly checked her wallet, then proceeded to give Stan a five dollar bill. Stan stared at her in disbelief. He had obviously not expected her to actually pay him. "Er… okay then. Listen up! You six, are going to work for me at the mystery shack -"
"So I get my five bucks back?" Dash asked. "As payment?"
Stan twitched. He was not in the mood to be interrupted. "Your payment will be your rooms. No, you won't get paid. You know what, just for that?" He turned to look at all the sisters. "I'm not telling you anything. You all have to figure this Loop out for yourselves. Have fun; this place is a real pain in the back when you don't know what's going on. Your room is up the stairs, down the hall, first door on the left. Work begins tomorrow."
The six element bearers stood in the Shack, staring at the place where Stan had just been. Applejack was the first to recover, shrugging. "I say we go an' get our room together. Then we figure out what we're gonna do."
The others nodded, and they walked up the wooden stairs to their room. The ceiling of the room was slanted, indicating the rooms position in relation to the roof. The room had a single triangular-shaped window, a lot of power outlets, several old wooden dressers with lamps on them, and two beds.
Only two beds.
Twilight twitched. "Girls, who carries extra beds in their pockets?"
Pinkie Pie grinned. "I do! I always carry them around in case of a bed emergency!"
Rarity looked around the room. "Are you sure there's room in this little room?"
Pinkie Pie produced two bunk beds, setting them in between the two other beds, taking up most of the space in the room. "Just barely!" Pinkie grinned. "But it works!"
"Hrmmm… it needs to be about twenty percent roomier." Dash said "'Cus reasons."
Fluttershy smiled. "I don't mind a cramped place. It'll let us bond more."
"Fluttershy…" Twilight responded. "We've had billions of years to bond. I think we've got it down."
Pinkie Pie dropped down from the ceiling, somehow. "Oh really? Riddle me this: what am I thinking about right now?"
"Fooling me?" Twilight guessed.
"Nope! I was actually thinking of croissants. I'm hungry." She pulled one of the crescent-shaped pastries out of her pocket, digging in like a rabid squirrel.
Twilight shrugged. She wondered what this world would have in store for them. The town was brimming with magical energy, flowing in and out around her. She would have to study it in detail. It looked like she might get to have a genuine adventure with her friends for once. It had been quite a while since she'd been in a place with all five of her friends that none of them had been to before. And they were sure as aspen going to have fun with it.
Twilight considered thanking Stan for not telling them what was coming. It was always more interesting that way.
Stan sat back in his room, pondering life. He took off his fez, studying it deeply. It was his symbol, that strange fish thing. It was who he was. It was his destiny. It represented his baseline self. Which, admittedly, wasn't altogether that different from him now. Millions of Loops hadn't changed his core self that much, but that was probably because he'd already been old when he started.
Would he be able to go through a baseline run again? It would be a challenge, physically, mentally, and emotionally. As fun as it was to watch visiting Loopers go through the mysteries completely baffled, he usually stepped in at some point, to change what was going to happen.
It had been a really, really long time since he had seen it through all the way to the end.
Maybe this was the time he'd face it. Maybe. Maybe not.
He sighed, taking a picture of his niece and nephew, Dipper and Mabel Pines. Anchor and Looper for this branch of the great world-tree Yggdrasil. His frown deepened. They had changed so much, and he was still the same old man he had always been.
Maybe… maybe this would be the Loop.
Just maybe.
Outside time, and outside space, a creature of nightmares stirred. His single eye flipped open, and he knew everything. He laughed.
"This is going to be fun!"
22.2 (GMBlackjack): [My Little Pony] / [Gravity Falls] - also compiled in MLP Time Loops as Loop 163.9.
Gravity Falls: Friendship is Magic 2 - Tourist Trapped
Stan looked at his options.
He needed the perfect candidate…
The pink one was far too eager. She would do anything, no matter how absurd, with a smile on her face and a stupid grin. That wasn't what he wanted…
The white one wasn't anywhere near observant enough. She'd probably do it after a lot of annoying whining and then completely miss the point. Unless she was more than she appeared, which was always a possibility.
The orange one wasn't anywhere near curious enough. She had a natural talent for conducting tours though.
The yellow one was either way too quiet, way too shy, or way too into animals. She hadn't been around long enough for him to truly figure her out.
That left the purple and rainbow ones…
"Eeny… Meenie… Miney… You," he said, pointing at Twilight. He shoved a hammer, nails, and MYSTERY SHACK! advertisement signs into her hand. "Go into the forest and hang these signs up in the spooky part of the forest." Stan grinned. "We'll attract lost hikers! Make a fortune!"
Twilight sighed. He was sending her into the creepy part of the woods. Great. "You do realize weird things are in those woods right? Something is definitely off. Just today my mosquito bites spelled out beware."
Stan glared at her. "That says bewarb." Twilight, from years of experience, noticed the I've-said-that-so-many-times-I'm-about-to-puke face on Stan. "And don't be silly. All of those stories are just a bunch of hillbilly legends."
Twilight blinked. Stan was a good liar. If she hadn't just seen a fairy in the forest yesterday, she would have believed him. He really was going to be able to keep secrets from them.
Interesting.
She shrugged, took the hammer, nails, and signs, and marched to the creepy part of the forest.
Stan waved. "Remember to nail them into every tree you conceivably see!"
Twilight raised an eyebrow. A hint? Perhaps. She smiled. This was very interesting.
Pinkie yelled. "I JUST THOUGHT OF SOMETHING!"
"What, dear?" Rarity said.
"You're married -" As soon as the words left her mouth Stan spat out his Pitt Cola and entered a coughing fit.
Rarity squinted. "I'm an adult most of the time, Stan. Really."
Stan nodded. "I'm… going to go sit down… I don't need to hear this conversation…"
Pinkie continued. "Anyway, you're married, I'm the goddess of parties, Fluttershy's not much for romance but that's okay because she's still got a whole family of Looping boys who call her Mom-"
Fluttershy blushed a bit.
"And everybody loves Rainbow and Twilight. But you know what? Applejack's never really even had a date or a relationship of any kind! Or at least not much of one. She usually just doesn't get involved."
Applejack squinted. "And that's a problem why?"
"Don't you see? You need to FEEL the romance! Your Looping life has been broken without it! You need to experience companionship!"
"Thanks, but I'll pass."
"Great! Let's get started today."
"What?" Applejack said, before Pinkie grabbed her and pulled her away.
"We're going to find you a date!"
"Pinkie put me down this instant -"
Fluttershy, Rarity, and Rainbow Dash simply stared in silence.
"That…" Rainbow Dash muttered. "Can't end well. Yeah. I'm out. I'm going to go see what Twilight's up to."
And with that Rainbow Dash produced wings and flew off.
Rarity facepalmed. "DEAR! You can't just go giving yourself wing- and she's gone."
Fluttershy smiled. "Maybe things will be quiet now."
"You two! Get down here! I need someone to rip off some customers!" Stan yelled.
Fluttershy sighed.
BAP! BAP! BAP!
Twilight had quickly discovered that nailing signs into trees was hard work. She was sweating, tired, and had yet to find anything even remotely interesting. She was beginning to wonder if Stan wasn't just messing with her because he could. The old man obviously had a fondness for pranks, seeing as he'd already spooked Fluttershy three times with that fish-man mask of his.
She held up the last sign, ready to pound it into the tree. She lifted the hammer to drive the nail into the wood.
She was not expecting a metallic CLANG to resound through her body. She dropped the tools instantly and investigated the tree. There was a metallic panel which she pried off, revealing a hidden lever. She cautiously pressed the lever, and heard a loud clunking sound behind her. She turned to see a hole in the ground, in which was nestled a book.
It appeared to be a really old red leather-bound journal with an eyeglass attached to it. On the front was a big golden symbol of a six-fingered hand with a large "3" inked on it.
Twilight picked up the Journal, blowing the years of dust off it. The first page had the words "Property of…" with the lower half of the page ripped out. The second was dated June 18:
It's hard to believe it's been six years since I began researching the strange and wond'rous secrets of Gravity Falls, Oregon. In all my travels, never have I observed so many curious things! Gravity Falls is indeed a geographical oddity.
Twilight flipped through the journal's pages. The book was filled with strange and fantastical drawings of things such as gnomes, ghosts, a strange thing known as a leprecorn, and strange triangles with eyes littered throughout the journal. She found that the second half of the book was blank, and that there was a hastily scribbled message on the last pages:
Unfortunately, my suspicions have been confirmed, I'm being watched. I must hide this book before He finds it. Remember—in Gravity Falls there is no one you can trust.
TRUST NO ONE!
Twilight blinked. She had figured this was going to be a silly, comical Loop that she'd just have to live through while being forced to suffer through Stan's sense of humor.
But this book had many things in it that wouldn't be in a normal happy Loop… like that one page with lots of blood stains.
It looked as if the author of the journal might have been insane…
"Hey! Whatcha looking at?"
Twilight yelped in surprise. She dropped the book to see Rainbow Dash hovering in front of her. "Rainbow!" she gasped, shaking her head. "Don't do that! Ser- Do you have wings right now?"
"Um, yeah? Why? It's not like anyone can see me out here -"
"That's not the point! We are normal humans without wings!"
"Fine…" Rainbow Dash muttered, her wings vanishing. "Ya know, I probably could just fly without the wings -"
Twilight's glare indicated that that wasn't acceptable either.
"You're no fun." Rainbow Dash leaned in closer. "Now, what are you looking at?"
"It appears to be a strange book filled with all sorts of secrets…"
"Cool…" Rainbow said, joining Twilight as they pored over the amazing secrets of the journal…
As Twilight and Rainbow Dash walked back to the Shack, they heard Stan yelling at the top of his lungs. "GET THE PINK ONE AWAY FROM MY MERCHANDISE!"
Twilight sighed, rushing into the Mystery Shack. They found Pinkie jumping up and down with excessive energy. "OHBOYOHBOYOHBOYOHBOYOHBOYOHBOY!" She grabbed Applejack by the face. "I still can't believe that we got you a date this quickly!"
Applejack sighed. "Neither can I. I was tryin' to sabotage the whole thing…"
"YOU MUST BE DESTINED FOR SUMMER ROMANCE!"
"Pinkie, are ya sure you're all right? This isn't like you -"
"I'M LIKE EVERYTHING!" Pinkie grinned.
The doorbell rang.
"Thatmustbehim!"
Applejack moaned. "No. Please no…"
"Come on, everyone, let's meet AJ's new boyfriend!"
"I'm tellin' ya, this is an absolutely horrid idea and he's not my boyfriend!"
"That's just what you think…" Pinkie said, grinning. She flung the door of the Shack open. "HI THERE!"
At the door was a tall boy wearing a dark black hood. His skin was pale, his eyes were distant, and he had what appeared to be blood on his face. "Sup," he said.
Pinkie pushed Applejack forward. Applejack put on a fake smile. "Uh… hi there."
Rainbow Dash poked her head forwards. "What's your name?"
"Uh… NORMAL! man!"
Stan facepalmed. "Every time…"
Pinkie shook her head. "Silly, your name is Norman! Come on!"
Twilight blinked. "Are you bleeding, Norman?"
"Uh… it's… jam," "Normal Man" responded.
Stan shook his head. "That's it. I'm out. Again."
Pinkie shoved Applejack closer to "Norman." "Now go have fun, you two!"
Applejack looked at everyone with a pleading look as Norman walked off with her.
Pinkie grinned. "This is great!"
Rarity, Fluttershy, and Twilight all exchanged glances. "Uh… yeah, no."
Rainbow Dash, however, had a completely different reaction -
"OH MY GOSH! He's a zombie! LIKE THE BOOK SAID!" She grabbed Twilight by the face. "Let's go save her!"
"Now, Rainbow…" Twilight said. "I'm sure he's not a zombie. I'd be able to sense the undead. And while there is magic about him, that is probably just because of all sorts of weird magic in the area -"
Rainbow Dash grabbed the journal and opened it up to the page on the Undead. She read aloud. "Known for their pale skin and bad attitudes, these creatures are often mistaken for teenagers. Beware Gravity Falls' nefarious zombies!"
"DUN DUN DUUUUUN," Pinkie added, grinning.
Twilight shook her head. "As I said, I would detect the undead."
"Yeah!" Pinkie said, bouncing. "And plus, wouldn't it be AWESOME to have a ZOMBIE FOR A BOYFRIEND?"
Rarity blinked. "Darling, are you sure you're okay? You're being more… extravagant than usual."
"This is nothing. Wait till you see me towards the end of the summer!"
"What?"
"I'm being mysterious…" Pinkie said as she hopped out of the room backwards.
Rainbow Dash sighed. "Come on, guys! We need to form a rescue team!"
"Uh… no," Twilight said. "He's not a zombie. No need to go crazy, Rainbow. Unless you have proof -"
"Fluttershy!" Rainbow Dash said, pointing. "You and me are going to spy on Applejack and Norman all day!"
"Um… why?"
"For the admirable goals of proof and blackmail!"
"Um… okay."
Rarity and Twilight rolled their eyes. "You're on your own," was the general consensus.
Rainbow Dash cracked her knuckles. "Let's do this."
Fluttershy sighed, wondering once again why she had let herself be dragged into this.
Soos, handyman of the Mystery Shack and the man in the question mark shirt, was screwing in a lightbulb in the attic. Red light streamed through the triangular stained-glass window. Soos shuddered. He always felt like that thing was watching him.
He briefly looked around, wondering if there was someone to talk to. There wasn't. He sighed. Yet another lonely day working in the Shack. The sextuplets were nice, but all of them were doing things not-attic-related.
He might be here all day screwing in lightbulbs.
Was this a metaphor for life? An eternal screwing of lightbulbs, doomed to continue until the end of time?
Was the eye in the window reminiscent of a higher power observing his every move, watching his lightbulb screwing, waiting for the day he messed up?
Was there a point to being this philosophical?
Soos shook his head. His wisdom was both a blessing and a curse. Maybe he should get some comfort food…
"SOOS!" the voice of Stan yelled from the floor below. "THE PORTABLE TOILETS ARE CLOGGED! AGAIN! AGAIN! AGAIN! AGAIN! AGAIN! AGAIN!-"
After innumerable "again"s, Stan finally ran out of breath. "Just… just fix them," he said, hoarse.
Soos saluted to Stan, even though they were on completely different floors. "Duty calls, lightbulb."
"Okay, Fluttershy, what zombie-like things have we seen Norman do so far?"
"Uh… stumble around as if he had no control over his body…"
"Good…"
"Fall into an open grave…"
"Good…"
"And break a window in the diner."
"Good. I think we've got enough."
"I still think Norman's perfectly normal."
Rainbow Dash groaned. "CAN'T YOU SEE? Something's off about him!"
"But he doesn't smell like any sort of death. I should know."
Rainbow Dash didn't bother asking how she would know. "But… You know what, I'm just bringing this evidence to Applejack."
"Um… she's not the one who's in control of whether she sees Norman or not."
Rainbow Dash blinked, realizing.
She had to convince Pinkie.
"Great." She grabbed the camera from Fluttershy, and rubbed her hands together. "Let's go to Pinkie -"
"Why would you need to go to me?" Pinkie said, holding up a camera.
"AUGH!" Fluttershy screamed in surprise.
Rainbow Dash was not amused. "Why do you have a camera?"
"They're just so cute together!" Pinkie said, grinning.
"You're turning into Cadance. That is not a good thing."
"Oh come on! It's fun! Hey Applejack!"
Applejack poked her head out of the bush. "Is he gone?"
"He's been gone for a couple hours."
"Good. He's… unnerving."
Rainbow Dash turned to Pinkie. "See? Even Applejack thinks he's off!"
"She just has cold hooves - um, feet," Pinkie responded, grinning. "Now come on, Applejack, we need to get in some kissing practice!"
"WAIT WHAT -"
"Oh not with me, silly! With a leaf blower!"
"WHAT?"
Rainbow Dash yelled after them. "NORMAN IS NOT WHAT HE SEEMS!" She held up the book. "SEE?"
"GNOMES?" Applejack yelled as she was being dragged off.
"What?" Rainbow Dash looked at the book, which was open to the gnomes page. "No! ZOMBIE!"
Applejack gave her the "seriously?" look before she was dragged out of sight.
Rainbow Dash sighed. "Great… We've got nothing." She groaned. "There's gotta be some sort of concrete evidence on him…"
Exactly two hours later, Rainbow Dash was still reviewing the video footage. A lot of Norman acting weird, but nothing completely indicting. There he was attempting to hold Applejack's hand before she swatted it away. There he was munching on her hat and getting a punch to the face. There was him getting the "THIS IS NOT A RELATIONSHIP" speech and just going "ger." There was him losing his hand and reattaching it. There was him with a -
Wait WHAT?
Rainbow Dash rewinded. Sure enough, Norman's hand had fallen out of its sleeve and he had quickly picked it up and reattached it. Rainbow Dash yelled. "FLUTTERSHY, WE NEED TO-"
She realized she was alone outside in the middle of the forest. Fluttershy must've left at some point.
"Great," Rainbow Dash muttered, summoning her wings back. "Guess I gotta do this myself…" She took off into the woods, trailing rainbows.
Norman and Applejack were alone in the forest.
Applejack was resigned to spending the rest of the day with him before locking herself up in the Mystery Shack's cellar for a week. The guy either just couldn't take a hint or had no brain.
No brain…
…nah. He couldn't be a zombie. Nah. That was just crazy talk.
"Uh.. AJ?"
"Yes Norman…" Applejack sighed.
"I've got… something to tell you before we go any further with this."
Applejack facepalmed. This guy was not up to date on social interaction. "Look Norman you don't hafta do anythin-"
"But I have to… Don't freak out, okay? Keep an open mind. Be cool." Norman reached to the zipper on his jacket, unzipped it, and pulled it off.
Applejack's jaw hit the floor. Standing in front of her were five gnomes. Two acting as the legs, two acting as the body and holding the arms, and one acting as the head.
"Um… so, yeah. We're gnomes. First off. Get that one out of the way," the gnome on the top said with a voice that was no longer brooding teenager, and more annoying middle aged man.
Applejack continued to stare, gaping.
"This is awkward, isn't it. Well. I'm Jeff, this is Carson, Steve, Jason, and -"
"Schmebulock," the lower left foot gnome said.
"Right Schmebulock. ANYWAY! Long story short, we have been looking for a new queen, and -"
Applejack didn't even stop to think about what she was doing. She bucked them. She had long ago figured out that a combination of a handstand and a power kick could accomplish more-or-less the same thing her pony bucking could. The gnomes went flying.
"No," she said.
"Oh, come on. I didn't even show you the ring ye-"
"I SAID EEEENOPE!" Applejack said, glaring down at Jeff.
Jeff looked up and glared. "Fine. We understand. We'll never forget you, Applejack."
"You bet you won't," Applejack said, having had enough of the whole ordeal.
"Because we're going to kidnap you."
"Wait, WHAT?"
Rainbow Dash yelled at the top of her lungs. "AJ, I'M COMING! JUST HOLD ONTO YOUR BRAINS A LITTLE WHILE LONGER!" She briefly wondered why she was taking this so seriously. Applejack would be just fine. Probably. Then again, she didn't think he was a zombie. So that could be a problem.
Rainbow Dash arrived on the scene to see Applejack standing over five gnomes, each of which were continually barfing rainbows. She blinked. "What… happened here?"
"Norman was a bunch of gnomes. And they turned out to be a bunch of jerks. Oh, and they tried to kidnap me."
"What else is new," Rainbow Dash deadpanned.
Jeff stood up, shaking his fist. "You will regret this! GNOMES OF THE FOREST! ASSEMBLE!"
Rainbow Dash and Applejack watched as hundreds of gnomes poured out of the woods, running into each other. They watched as a pile of around a thousand gnomes piled into a single, giant, humanoid shape. They had become a giant gnome of gnomes. The gnome of gnomes roared in anger.
Rainbow Dash didn't bother to ponder how a being that was literally just a thousand gnomes stacked on top of each other could be roaring. She simply opened the Journal. "What's it say about gnomes… Ah, here… Little men of the forest… Weaknesses… Unknown?"
Applejack facepalmed. "Seriously?"
Rainbow Dash grabbed Applejack and flew away just as a gnome-of-gnomes' fist tried to crush them. "NEW PLAN! FLY AWAY!"
"YOU WILL COME BACK HERE, HARPIE! YOU DO NOT MESS WITH THE GNOMES! WE ARE AN OLD AND POWERFUL RACE!"
"Yeah, well… uh…" Rainbow Dash had been about to say that she wasn't a harpie when she realized that that actually was pretty close to what she was right now, wings and all. 'Uh… well, you're slow!" She took off, leaving a trail of rainbows.
"FOLLOW THE SKITTLES!" Jeff yelled.
"What are skittles?" the gnome below him said.
"It's what humans call barf trails."
"And now, folks, come look at the world's most distracting object!"
Stan had long ago replaced the old distracting object with one that looked identical but had an actual distracting enchantment. He pulled the string.
All the customers of the Mystery Shack stared at the device, unable to look away. Rarity, Fluttershy, Pinkie, and Twilight gazed deep into its swirling movements.
It's simply darling… Rarity thought.
It makes me think of fluffy non-murderous bunnies… Fluttershy thought.
Books! was the only word in Twilight's head, for some reason.
What Pinkie was thinking was, literally, zdwfk zlwk ph. No telling why.
The only person in the Shack not looking at the world's most distracting object was the teenage cashier, Wendy, a redhead who was busy being bored out of her skull. She studied the knots in the mismatched conglomeration of real-wood and fake-wood planks that made up the ceiling. She was so into the boredom she didn't even notice the rumbling of the ground as a giant gnome chased Rainbow Dash and Applejack back to the Shack.
"Rainbow! We can't let this thing destroy the Shack!"
"What do you suggest? Fight it?"
"Well, we are Loopers. We could do all sorts of things."
"Oh. Yeah. Right." Rainbow Dash dropped to the ground, causing Applejack to slam into the ground.
"HEY! Coulda done that a little SLOWER."
"Maybe. Didn't feel like it." The cyan human (or harpie?) turned to look at the assailant. The gnome of gnomes was running towards them.
"Any particularly interesting ideas on how to take this thing out?" Rainbow Dash asked, turning to her friend. She blinked. "Why is your face all red?"
"Pinkie's 'kissing practice' came with hazards. Like a leaf blower stuck to your face -" Applejack's eyes lit up. She reached into her subspace pocket, grinning. "Aha! I DO have one in here!"
She pulled out a leaf blower the size of a pine tree, and pointed it at the gnome of gnomes.
The gnome of gnomes stopped, and stared.
"How are you holding that?" Jeff yelled down from his place at the top of the gnome of gnomes.
"Does it matter? I'm pointin' it at y'all!"
"Riiiiight. You know what? ATTA-"
The gigantic leaf blower turned on, blasting the gnome of gnomes into its fundamental parts (a lot of gnomes) and spreading them out across the forest. The gnomes growled and yelled before running off into the bushes.
Jeff stood up. "YOU WILL FACE THE WRATH OF THE GNOMES -"
Applejack pointed the leaf blower at him at point-blank range. "You were saying?"
"Uh. Right. Bye." He took off as fast as his little legs would carry him (which was about as fast as a one-legged cat).
Applejack and Rainbow Dash cheered, rushing into a hug and laughing.
"That. Was. AWESOME!" Rainbow Dash yelled, grinning. She flipped open the Journal to the gnomes page, taking a pen out of her Pocket. "Weaknesses: LEAF BLOWERS! WOOT! This deserves a party!"
Another excited hug followed, before the two walked back into the Shack.
Stan watched them, lightly sipping his Pitt Cola.
So they escaped the awkward sibling hug. That wasn't too unusual. As far as he knew, anyway.
He smiled. They were nice girls. As they walked into the Shack, he gave them a smile. "You know what? I overstocked on inventory and I need to clear some stuff out. You six can get something from the gift shop. On the house."
Twilight blinked. "You mean, free? Without paying?"
"Sure. Why not. Now hurry, before I change my mind."
Rainbow Dash instantly grabbed a rainbow baseball cap with a lightning bolt on it. "This is mine." She grinned.
Twilight took a triangle-shaped pendant with an eye in it, because it looked interesting. Applejack took a crossbow. Rarity took one look at the gift shop and decided the only thing she even remotely liked was a shiny pen.
Pinkie Pie yelled, "GRAPPLING HOOK!" She grinned, holding the device for all to see.
Stan laughed his head off. "Sure, sweetie, you can have the Grappling Hook. Go climb some dangerous cliffs for Grunkle Stan."
"YAY!" Pinkie said, running out of the Shack.
Wendy and Soos walked up to Stan. "Uh… Mister Pines?" Soos said, twiddling his thumbs. "We were wonderin' if we could, uh…"
Wendy took over. "We'd like something from the gift shop, too."
"I pay you two to do work. I don't pay them." Stan grinned. "I'm amazing!"
Wendy sighed. "Fine," she said, walking back to the cash register.
Soos saluted, walking back to the lightbulbs.
Stan smiled. This day had gone well. So far so good.
Of course, he knew that eventually the new people and locations in town would affect the Loop somehow…
He would have to keep going.
22.3 (GMBlackjack): [My Little Pony] / [Gravity Falls] - also compiled in MLP Time Loops as Loop 167.15.
Gravity Falls: Friendship is Magic 3: Legend of the Gobblewonker
"I'M BORED!" Pinkie screamed at the top of her lungs.
Applejack blinked. "Pinkie…" She said, gesturing to the table. "We have thirty different kinds of syrup here. How can you be bored?"
Rainbow Dash moaned from the floor. "Yeah… I mean I just chugged three bottles of the stuff… Question… who convinced me to do that?"
Stan rushed into the room, flipping his eyepatch off one eye to the other. "I DID! Because stomach aches are terrible! Haha!"
Rainbow Dash blinked. "Ugh…."
Twilight turned to Stan. "Legitimate question: how did you convince Rainbow to do that?"
"Easy. Told her it would be a contest with Applejack."
Rainbow Dash moaned. "Too. Much. Syrup."
"I'M STILL BORED!" Pinkie yelled.
Stan's visible eye lit up. "Hey, I have an idea. Who wants to put on some blindfolds and get into my car?"
"YAY!" Pinkie screamed.
Everyone except for Rainbow Dash lightened up with Pinkie's yay and responded with a resounding "YEAH!" Then they all thought about what they had just agreed to for a few seconds. "Wait WHAT?"
Rainbow Dash simply moaned.
Twilight Sparkle had experienced many people who were absolutely terrible at driving in every shape and form. She had met smart people who for some reason couldn't turn left. She'd met idiots who would smash through everything. She had met people who would somehow crash vehicles without ever touching the gas pedal.
Stan Pines was something else entirely. He was somehow managing to make the most angular turns, the most brutal accelerations and braking, and actually launching the car into the air. And yet, somehow, the car didn't seem any worse for wear and nobody suffered any sort of physical damage. Unless you counted Rainbow Dash's stomach agony. (She managed to keep her lunch down though.)
Then again, Twilight supposed that maybe the experience was a tad heightened because she was blindfolded.
Twilight's thoughts were interrupted by the sound of Stan's car smashing through a fence. Then the feeling of old car tires on beach sand. (Twilight briefly reflected on the fact that she'd experienced old car tires on beach sand enough to identify it while blindfolded.)
Then, to the joy of all present, the car stopped moving.
Twilight threw the car door open and jumped out. She instantly found herself tripping and landing face first in some water.
At least i'm clean now… Haven't had a shower since I got here…
Stan's voice reached her ears. "Blindfolds off!"
Twilight and her friends ripped the offending blindfolds off their faces. They blinked, adjusting to the brightness of the sun.
They were obviously at the Gravity Falls lake, formed by the waterfall spilling off of the right half of the odd cliffs. There was a small island in the center of the lake, and there were lots of people in fishing boats on the shore. It was, evidentially, fishing season. Stan grinned. "TAH-DAH! It's fishing season!"
Twilight and the Elements took a moment to absorb the absurdity that was the town of Gravity Falls fishing. The old waitress, Lazy Susan, was holding a pan over the water hoping to coax fish to just jump in. This world's version of Derpy was waving a muffin under the water with her hands, sending ripples everywhere (and overturning the boat. Somehow.) Toby Determined was taking a picture of a man with a giant fish, the flash causing the man to promptly drop the fish back into the water before falling into the water himself. Sonata was on a boat filled with empty tacos. Wendy's dad and her brothers were literally grabbing fish out of the water with their bare hands and beating them up with punches. The boys cheered as their father beat the fish into submission, and nearby a man stared on with glee, saying "Get 'em! Get 'em!" Nearby, the cakes were apparently being the most successful with worm flavored cake as their bait.
Stan grinned. "Look at this! Fishing season! Time for some quality family bonding!"
Twilight blinked. "…bonding?"
"Yeah! We go fishing in our little boat, sail the seas for adventure, and get tasty fish!"
Applejack squinted. "Why d'ya wanna bond with us all of a sudden?"
"Come on this is gonna be great! Some official Gravity Falls fishing, one time offer for you Loopers right now! Seriously! Come. Fish. Fishing's good right?'
"Perhaps…" Rarity said, not sure.
"Oh come on! What could be better than you, me, and a bunch of corny jokes for ten hours?"
Fear appeared in the eyes of Rarity, Applejack, Twilight, and Pinkie. Pinkie began shuddering. Anything but bad jokes.
Twilight looked around quickly. There must be some way out of this… She thought for a moment. I could just tell him we don't want to go.
Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of an old man screaming. "I SEEN IT! I SEEN IT AGAIN!" The old man in question, local insane elder man McGucket, leapt onto Stan's car, bellowing to the beach. "THE GOBBLEWONKER IS BACK! I SEEN IT! COME QUICK BEFORE IT SCRABDOODLES AGAIN!" He started making extremely odd and angular gestures with all his limbs.
"OOH!" Pinkie lightened up. "I can do that happy dance as well!" She proceeded to imitate McGucket's moves perfectly. In midair. To his credit, McGucket wasn't even fazed by "Pinkie being Pinkie" and instantly grabbed her by the shoulder. "NO! IT'S A JIG OF GRAVE DANGER!"
At this point the ranger in charge of the beach came out and sprayed McGucket as if he were a cat. "Hey hey! Stop scarin' people! This is your last warning Dad!"
Twilight winced inwardly. This old man had obviously lost his marbles, which was bad enough, but he also had a son who apparently didn't want anything to do with him. She sighed, knowing that this was a common occurrence across Yggdrasil, knowing that this was just how things were. It didn't make it any less sad.
Old Man McGucket yelled in a strange old-timer voice. "I HAVE PROOF THIS TIME! BEHOLD! THE DOCK! It's the Gobble-dy-wonker what done did it! It had a long neck like a gee-raffe! And wrinkly skin like… uh... question, why isn't there an older person in this audience with wrinkles I can point out?"
Stan was currently hiding behind a dumpster. He was not going to be called old and wrinkly again.
"The beast chewed my boat up to smithertootinoons, and shim-whammies over to SCUTTLEBUTT ISLAND! YOU GOTTA BELIEVE ME!"
The sheriff simply smiled. "Attention all units! We got ourselves a crazy old man!"
And the entire beach started laughing at McGucket as he walked off, dejected and muttering. "Aww, donkey spittle…"
After the crowd cleared, the ponies-turned-human looked at each other. Pinkie grinned. "We all know what this means."
"MONSTER HUNT!" They cheered. Well, everyone except Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy, the latter of which was quiet as a mouse, and the former of which was still delirious from syrup.
McGucket, somehow back at the dock, yelled "MONSTER HUNT!" as well. Everyone except Pinkie just stared at him blankly. He sheepishly backed away.
At that point, Soos pulled up in a large motorboat named the S. S. Cool Dude. "Did you dogs say something' about a monster hunt?"
Pinkie cheered. "SOOS!" She said, instantly leaping onto the boat. "I hereby commandeer this boat for the sake of MONSTER HUNT!"
Applejack shrugged. "I don't see why not."
They began to go towards the boat (or, in Rainbow Dash's case, stumble) when Stan walked up to them. "All right, all right, let's think this through! You could go waste your time on some stupid monster-finding adventure, or you could spend the day learning how to tie knots and skewer worms with your Grunkle Stan!"
Twilight, Applejack, and Pinkie yelled "WOOHOO!" at the top of their lungs, ready for adventure. Rarity was on the other side of the boat, talking to Soos about fashion. Surprisingly, he had some rather interesting ideas. The handyman was a man of many skills.
"So, darling, how do you drive this boat?"
"It just goes straight unless I hold the wheel!"
"So we're just going straight."
"You got that right Little Diamond!"
"Do you have a nickname for everyone?"
"You're Little Diamond… then there's Blitz, Cowgirl, Sparky, Flutters, and Pinkie."
"Pinkie most certainly is just… Pinkie."
"Indeededoo. Whoops I should probably go to the wheel before we crash into somethin'."
As Soos went to the wheel, Twilight, Applejack, and Pinkie were discussing the plan.
"So, step 1: we find the Gobblewonker."
"Uh-huh." Applejack agreed.
"Step 2: determine if hostile or not."
"Gotcha…"
"Step 3: Depending on the result of step 2, either confront or—"
"THROW A PARTY!" Pinkie said, wheeling out party cannons, some with "Nessie" designs on them.
Applejack chuckled. "How many cannon designs do you have?"
"I lost count at a trillion!"
"Uh-huh. So if hostile we confront, if not, we make friends. Convince it to stop eating people's boats."
"But what if it needs boats to survive Twilight?"
Twilight sighed. "There's no way in the realm of possibility that it needs to eat boats…"
Beneath the waters, something watched them, eyes glowing.
Stan was pleasantly surprised.
Fluttershy had opted to stay with him.
He could count the number of times a visiting Looper offered to stay with him from the start on his hands. Heck it was such a problem he rarely asked anymore. He didn't like being on the old Stan o' War alone.
Of course the experience was soured by the continual moaning of stomach-ache Rainbow Dash. He was beginning to regret his little Syrup prank.
"So, since you already know how to fish, how about a bit of a competition? Biggest fish wins!"
Fluttershy smiled warmly at Stan. "Okie Grunkle Stan!"
Stan grinned. He was actually having fun. He, for once, was happy. This was great. Fishing with a niece (even if it wasn't his regular niece) and having a nice day on the lake.
Also he had managed not to mess up Reginald's proposal by that horrid "HER AIM IS GETTING BETTER" Joke.
"Joaje." He muttered, remembering a particularly unpleasant vision of a Hublike universe he had been gifted several hundred Loops ago.
"What was that Grunkle Stan?" Fluttershy asked.
"Nothing Flutters. Nothing at all." A fish bit his hook. "I GOT ONE!"
Fluttershy smiled. She recognized a man who needed company when she saw it. "Nice!"
Rainbow Dash moaned. "Can you two stop being so cheerful!"
"Kid, if I ever hear that sentence come out of your mouth again I will personally dunk you under the water where there are electric eels."
"There… aren't electric eels here."
"I have a Pocket filled with all sorts of things."
"You aren't supposed to hold living things—"
"DNA replication gun."
Rainbow Dash moaned. "Carry on with… urk…. one sec…"
"HERE WE ARE! Scuttlebutt island!" Pinkie said, gesturing towards the sign nailed into a random tree.
Soos held up his hand, covering up the "scuttle." "Hey look. 'Butt' island!"
Pinkie observed the sign. "I think scuttle island is better. Imagine this thing getting up and scuttling around. Like a beautiful spider!"
The five friends continued onwards, looking through the strange mist that penetrated the island.
"Question, darlings…" Rarity said, glancing left and right. "This island is perfectly visible from the beach correct?"
"Yah. What's your point?" Applejack wondered.
"Well how is there an extremely dense mist here?"
Twilight blinked. She hadn't noticed that. Crap. That was probably bad—
At that point they heard an intense roar in the distance.
Twilight flicked her wrists, ready to cast magic. Applejack took out her lasso. Pinkie…. continued whatever it was she did. Rarity backed up.
Soos looked at Twilight's hands. "Woah Sparky! Are you some kinda wizard or somethin'? That'd be wicked cool!"
Twilight blinked. "Sure. Wizard. Let's go with that and not magical unicorn."
"What?"
"Nothing." The group slowly moved towards the sound, seeing a silhouette in front of them. It was perfectly still, and looked vaguely like a head.
"Ready girls?" Twilight asked.
Soos was the only one who responded. "Totally, dog."
They moved forward, ready to face the beast, only to see a bunch of beavers chattering on a broken boat.
Only Pinkie understood what the beavers said, and she burst into hysterics. "AHAHHAHA!"
"Pinkie? What is it?" Twilight asked.
"You really don't want to know! Ahahhaha!"
Twilight blinked. "Ooookayyyy…."
"But… what was the sound then?" Applejack asked.
"BEAVER WITH A CHAINSAW!" Pinkie pointed at the chainsaw, grinning like a madwoman.
Applejack immediately subdued Pinkie. Pinkie + chainsaw never ended well. Even though there usually wasn't death of any kind, the result was generally beyond terrifying.
Twilight shrugged, magically tossing the roaring chainsaw into the water. "Okay then… what now?"
"Maybe he really was crazy…." Applejack muttered.
Pinkie just stared into the water, longingly looking at where the chainsaw was. Even though she had several thousand chainsaws in her Pocket, she still wanted to add another to her collection. A beaver-chainsaw was something new…
Then she heard the chainsaw noise again.
That was odd. It couldn't possibly be making that noise underwater… Her pinkie sense went ballistic.
"GUYS SOMETHIN—" She was interrupted by a large sea-beast rising out of the water and slapping her to the side. It roared.
"The Gobblewonker!" Twilight said, gasping. "It really is real!"
Applejack walked right up to the great beast. "Now listen 'ere reptile, we don't want no trouble, but we would appreciate it if you'd stop attacking people's boats—"
The Gobblewonker roared, lunging for Applejack. She leapt backwards, landing firmly on her feet. "Suppose that was expectin' too much…"
Twilight cracked her knuckles. "Let's teach this lizard a lesson…"
"Darlings… do we really—"
Applejack raised a hand. "Rarity, there comes a time in every Looper's life when they just want to beat the tar out of some giant lizard."
Rarity sighed. "Fine… I just have the feeling this isn't going to go well."
"Okay listen up troops."
Fluttershy listened intently. Rainbow Dash was able to sit up without moaning, but that was about it.
"Since we've caught a grand total of log, moss, and other fishing poles on this trip, it's time to do what I do best—"
"Lure the fish in with your charm?"
"Nope. Steal fish from other people."
Fluttershy blinked. "That doesn't seem particularly nice—"
"Oh come on let's just have some fun being con-men. Er. Women. Human? Pony? I don't even know anymore. The point is that they have fish and we are going to take them. Any skills you bring to the table?"
"I can talk to most animals." Fluttershy offered
"I can.. URK! Fly!" Rainbow Dash said, before leaning over.
"Yeah, multicolored tomboy? Take a rest, we've got this. Fluttershy, we are going to pull up and I am going to make a utterly and completely terrible joke. While they're distracted get their fish."
"Um… You know I don't really think…"
"MISSION GO!" Stan yelled, rowing towards another boat, filled with Manly Dan and his sons. "Hey there pops! Wanna hear a joke?"
"If this is about Wendy being lazy you're the one who hired her." Manly Dan growled.
"Oh this is nothing about it! Just a joke! Seriously! How many lumberjacks does it take to screw in a lightbulb?"
Manly Dan hefted his axe and glared Stan in the eye.
Stan realized something at that moment.
Manly Dan was a lumberjack.
"Uh… ABANDON MISSION!" Stan yelled, rowing away at high speed.
Manly Dan roared. "BOYS! GET IM WHILE I HEADLOCK THIS FISH!"
The same man from earlier shouted "GET IM! GET IM!" with astounding glee.
"THATS RIGHT TYLER! THOSE ARE MY BOYS!"
Stan rowed faster.
"WHAT IS WITH THIS THING?" Twilight yelled as the Gobblewonker just completely ignored yet another magic blast. "Reptiles should be affected by that! ITS AN ANTI-REPTILE SPELL FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!"
Applejack tied up the Gobblewonker only to have her lasso rip. "It's also ridiculously strong. What is this thing's deal?"
It roared, charging once more.
Rarity sent a magic blast at it. While nowhere near as powerful as Twilight's, they still had a decent amount of power behind them.
What surprised Twilight was that the Gobblewonker actually seemed to feel the normal spell.
"What spell was that?" Twilight asked.
"Just a normal one! Magic beam of some kind! Nonspecific!"
Soos laughed. "Dude you're a wizard too?"
"Yes and Pinkie is as well; get over it, Soos."
Soos looked at Pinkie, who was getting up from the ground. "Can I burn it?" She asked Twilight.
"I'd rather you didn't. Chaos fire is terribly hard to put out."
"Okie dokie lokie!" Pinkie said, appearing behind the Gobblewonker somehow. "TWILIGHT! SHOOT THE LEG WITH A NORMAL MAGIC BEAM!"
Twilight did so, and the leg exploded. Pinkie took a screwdriver out of her pocket and rammed it up the hole. Sparks flew.
"What?" Twilight said, confused, as the Gobblewonker fell to the ground.
Pinkie grinned. "When it hit me I figured out that it was metallic, a machine! That's why your anti-reptile spell didn't work Twilight! And I just noticed a small break in the leg!" She grinned, completely innocent looking.
"It's… a machine?" Rarity said, blinking.
Twilight used her magic to pop open a hatch on the side of the machine, revealing a control room with McGucket inside. "Aww banjo polish!"
Everyone's jaws dropped (excluding Pinkie). "McGucket?" Twilight managed to say."W-Why?"
"Uh… uh…. AW I just wanted attention…"
"What?"
"Well, first I just hootenannies up a biomechanics brain wave generator, and then I learned to operate a stick-shift with my beard!" McGucket said, demonstrating his ability to use his beard as a limb.
"Uh… Why?"
"Well… when you get to be an old fella like me, nobody pays any attention to you anymore…. My own son hasn't visited me in months! So.. I figured maybe I'd catch his fancy with a fifteen ton aquatic robot! AHAHAHHAHAHAHAH…." He sighed. "In retrospect, it seems a bit contrived. You just don't know the length us old-timers go through for a little quality time with our family…"
"Did you ever consider talking to your son?" Twilight asked.
"No sir! I got to work straight on the robot! I made lots of robots in my day! Like when my wife left me and I created a homicidal pterodactyl-tron! Or when my pal Ernie didn't come to my retirement party and I constructed an eighty ton SHAME BOT THAT EXPLODED THE ENTIRE DOWNTOWN AREA! AHHAHAHHAHAHH! Well, time to get back to work on my death ray! Any of you kids got a screwdriver?"
Twilight blinked. "Pinkie does."
"Why thank you miss."
Twilight stared at the obviously crazy and most likely evil scientist. She probably shouldn't try to help him get back on his feet or he'd try to conquer the world or something. She really shouldn't. She reallllllly shouldn't….
"I have a better idea," she told Old Man McGucket, cursing her good nature.
In the end, she supposed she would stop him if he did go on a rampage. . .
"What are your sisters doing?" Stan asked the two Equestrians on his boat.
"I'm… not sure…" Fluttershy said, cocking her head.
The four girls, Soos, and Old Man McGucket knocked on the door the ranger occupied. McGucket's son came out. "What do you want?"
Twilight took a breath, time to put on the twelve-year-old-girl charm… "Ranger, we found this old man sitting on an island all alone, mumbling to himself about how he missed his son and he seemed really sad. We figured we could bring him to you and since, you know, you're a Ranger and all you might be able to do something."
McGucket smiled, looking into his son's eyes. "So, Tate. Uh… sorry 'bout ruining your beach…"
"Dad…" He said, blinking. He closed the door, and walked back inside the house.
McGucket sighed. "Welp. We tried. Thank ya anyway."
Twilight sighed. "Keep trying. He'll open up eventually."
"You really think so?'
Twilight smiled. "I know so."
Then, the door opened again. Tate stepped out with a baseball and a some gloves. "Dad. Think we can finish that game we never got to?"
McGucket got tears in his eyes. "You betcha' sonny! Now remember the ratio of the curveball to the air resistance…"
"I know Dad…" Tate said, smiling.
Twilight grinned. "Mission accomplished girls. We got to face a lake monster AND solved a friendship problem! BONUS!"
Pinkie's sense twitched. "Something's going on…" She looked around, unable to see anything odd. She shrugged. Maybe it was just an itch.
Stan, however, saw something. In the distance, he saw three young kids with binoculars trying to hide behind a bush. He recognized the kids, they stopped by the Mystery Shack a lot this Loop, calling themselves the Mystery Crusaders.
He frowned. They were watching them.
He wondered why.
Pinkie's sense tingled again, and she turned towards the lake just in time to see something surface for a few seconds.
Something very reptilian.
She smiled. The real Gobblewonker was saying hi. How nice.
Then Tate's curveball hit her in the back of the head. "OW!"
Everyone laughed.
The rest of the day was spent with baseballs, fishing, and tales of monster hunts and robots…
pbvwhub fuxvdghuv vslhv jr!
Compiler's note: And so it begins.