MAYBE IF I COULD HOLD YOU JUST A LITTLE CLOSER
MAYBE IF WE COULD RUNAWAY AND NEVER LOOK BACK
MAYBE WE COULD HAVE OUR HAPPY ENDING
The last time Elizabeth Stark had thought about dying, she was nineteen years old and had just summoned a lightning bolt that killed Peggy Carter. Her parents were dead and she had no one but her brother and her self-hatred. The last time she thought about dying, she was alone in her bed, her brother passed out drunk in the living room, and she had just woken after crying herself to sleep, the first sleep she had after a month.
She thinks it's easier to die surrounded by a drunken brother and dead parents and a murdered aunt. She thinks it's easier to die when she's not surrounded by the family she's chosen to be a part of, not when she thinks she's falling in love, not when life is a little brighter than it used to be.
She supposes she has always had a penchant for having the worst of luck.
"You okay?" Natasha's hand on her shoulder jolts her back to her nightmare of a reality, and even though the spy is talking to her, she can't take her eyes off the hammer pulsing with elements.
Liz nods, unsteady and uncertain, "Ya. I'm fine."
She tries to muster a smile but Natasha knows better. Natasha has always known better. She pulls Liz in for a brief hug and whispers in her ear, "You're going to be fine."
They all leave, one by one, each looking at her for a second too long as if, Liz thinks sadly, they were saying goodbye, taking a picture of her in their heads.
Steve leaves last, and she's not sure if he's going to say something or if he's going to leave, but she grabs his hand in a tight grip as he walks closer, as if he could somehow reduce the mind-numbing fear.
"Promise me something."
He nods, probably at the desperation in her tone and she continues, "Promise me you'll take care of Tony-"
"Liz-"
She wills him not to interrupt, she knows he needs to leave soon, that they don't have much time left and she needs to say what she has to say before it's too late and she's left with nothing but unspoken words and regret, "Look, I'm probably going to survive this. I somehow always manage to survive everything. But if, by the odd chance, this is it for me, I want you to promise that you won't let Tony destroy himself."
Maybe some others won't be able to understand that Elizabeth is not afraid of dying. She's never been afraid of death, just afraid for the people she leaves behind. She doesn't want to leave thinking that Tony is going to be left alone. If she were to go, she'd want to know that he's going to have people, more people than Rhodey, Pepper and Happy, who have his back. Maybe some others won't be able to understand that even under the prospect of death, Elizabeth Stark only thinks of her brother, but Steve does.
So he does the only thing he can do for her right now, he nods and smiles and breaks her heart just a little bit as he reminds her of the what-ifs and could have beens between the two of them.
She reels back in the tears once more and is disappointed when some reach the surface and she heaves in a breath and nods, not making eye contact before she does, and smiles regretfully, "I don't really like goodbye kisses."
He looks at her; the girl with soft blue eyes and wild hair and stardust fingers. He's watched her break and crumble and then get back up to fight again. He should have kissed her when they were on the balcony. Should have kissed her when they were dancing.
Should have kissed her when he saw her at the park with a pretzel in her hand and shoe in the other. Should have skipped the introductions, and heartache and slow dancing and just kissed her.
He looks at the girl with lightning in her veins and fire in her blood and power in her cells and he wants to pull her close and shield her away from the world that is too cruel to the girl who cares too much for people who don't care enough.
He wants to tell her to put the hammer down and leave with him.
Instead, he pulls her close, lacing her one hand with his, looking at her eyes with burning embers and her sooty cheeks and dips his head and murmurs against her lips, "Good thing this isn't goodbye."
Please don't leave me. Please don't die. I need you.
I'm falling in love with you.
She's the one that surges and moulds her lips onto his. The hammer she holds drops and the world shakes a little beneath his feet but he couldn't care less, not when he's kissing Elizabeth Stark.
It's soft and slow and too desperate. His tears mix with hers and she grabs onto his shoulders as he brings his other free hand to her cheeks, pulling her impossibly closer just as she pulls away slightly, so slightly that he has to rest his head against hers and their breaths mingle as her hand peels away from his.
She takes a step back and he follows her, believing, having to believe, that this isn't goodbye.
He presses his lips on her forehead and smiles at the way she draws back in, clinging onto the buckles on his suit tightly, and closing her eyes before opening it and studying his face. Like she's memorizing his features. As if it's the last time she's going to see it.
"I'm going to see you soon Elizabeth Stark."
Like Tony, he doesn't wait for a response before he runs out the unrecognizable church, jumping onto the helicarrier.
Clint's there, on a bench surrounded by so many people he can barely walk through. When he reaches the archer, he first scans for injuries before calling his name, waiting for Clint to acknowledge him.
"Everyone okay?" Steve asks.
Clint nods, "Thor, Natasha and the twins are in the second raft, Hulk is a no show and Stark is in the cockpit."
"You?"
The archer chuckles humourlessly, "I'll survive man, I don't have a choice."
Steve doesn't have a response to that. He simply walks through the doors and into the cockpit where Tony Stark stands, suit off and looking out the window at the slowly ascending country as if he could place his sister if he looks hard enough.
Steve makes his way beside the genius and they stand side by side looking out the window of the raft that is yet to start leaving, at the flying country holding one of the most important people in both their lives. He wonders if this was how Peggy and Howard felt as he prepared to crash the plane into the ocean, if this was how they felt when they had to come to terms with the possibility of him never returning. He wonders if this was how Elizabeth felt when she saw her brother carry a nuke into space, he wonders if he'll recover the way he knows she couldn't have.
He wonders what the world has against them that it keeps trying to take and take without any sympathy.
Without looking at Tony, he asks, "Do you ever think about taking her away? Just grab her and run away from all this."
Steve can very confidently say that Tony Stark has become one of his closest friends in the twenty-first century, more so than the rest of the Avengers sans Natasha.
Liz was never a friend to begin with. Liz was always his something more.
Steve's always felt comfortable around Tony. After their initial differences, after saving New York and nearly dying in the process, they had found some common ground. Steve had learned to appreciate and then enjoy the billionaire's unique brand of sass and his theatrics were a welcoming accompaniment to usually tense situations.
For all that they talked about; Elizabeth Stark was not one of them. It was, more or less, an unspoken rule, a thin red line that they had made to avoid conflict, to prevent awkwardness, to keep situations uncomplicated. Tony Stark wanted for his sister and the Captain to figure them out without his interference, as the last time he did, the Captain had run off for months, and Steve knew it wasn't the best of ideas to take love advice from the brother of the woman he was falling for.
The line doesn't really matter; the rule doesn't really make sense now. Not when Elizabeth Stark is about to destroy a country with nothing but her powers. Not when destroying the country can result in ramifications that neither of them might be able to come back from.
So Steve asks Tony Stark if he ever thinks of taking Liz away. If he ever thinks of running away from this life with Elizabeth Stark in tow.
He genuinely wonders if Tony Starks finds it as difficult to keep himself from running away with Liz as he does.
The response Steve gets is immediate, "Course I do. Every single day. But you know just as well as me that no one makes Elizabeth Stark do anything unless she wants to. There's no way she'd ever run away from the fight, no matter how much she hates it."
The one thing all of them have in common is their hero complex. Not a single one of them have found an excuse, a purpose, great enough to get them to walk away from the fight without ever looking back. They've been thrust into this life with a one-way ticket and they're, unbeknownst to themselves, are scavenging every second of the day to find a way back.
They may be equipped with serums in their bloodstreams, metal around their heads, guns strapped to their waists and lightning in their veins but it doesn't mean that they're ready for the world to beat them down. It doesn't mean that they don't know that one day they're never going to get back up.
"She's stubborn," The soldier summarizes.
Tony nods, "Yeah,"
Steve finds it in himself to muster up a small smile, just the tip of the corners of his lips, "Wonder where she gets that from."
He's proud when Tony smiles in return, returning to a fragment of the man he was before he left his sister in a broken church to destroy a country.
He buries the idea that he's fulfilling Elizabeth's promise. He buries it deep down because acknowledging it means accepting that there is a chance that she might not survive this and for all that he can accept; waking up in 2011, losing everybody he's ever known, Bucky being alive, aliens, robots, losing Elizabeth Stark is not one of them.
"Mr. Stark," The voice is electronic and feminine, and it takes Steve a moment to remember that Jarvis no longer oversees the mission; Jarvis is now Vision, "Ms. Stark has approximately forty-five seconds until she has to destroy the core"
Tony nods curtly, "Great. We've got my suit?"
On cue, the red and silver armour flies in front of the window, supposedly making the trip from a lab under the land that was once a house on 10880 Malibu Point.
Steve isn't surprised when Tony Stark jumps into the suit. He isn't surprised when the billionaire flies towards the flying city instead of in the opposite direction. He isn't surprised when he spots the red and silver suit, now housing a man, off in the distance, waiting patiently for his sister.
Not one person on the life rafts; not Fury or Steve or Natasha or the Maximoffs were under the impression that Tony Stark would make the trip back with them without his sister. No one is surprised to see him flying towards the city in the air. Everyone knows that it's going to take an army of robots and aliens and superheroes to stop him.
If her survival were based on her brother's love, Elizabeth Stark would live forever.
"Ms. Stark, it's time."
She nods her head, in the middle of the sky surrounded by old architecture and she deems Natasha's previous statement to be true. As far as views go, this is a phenomenal final one.
She lifts the hammer up from where she had carelessly dropped it under the feel of Steve Rogers' lips on hers. She takes in a breath and then lets it out, focusing on nothing but the silver block of divinity in her hands and the power she can feel in her veins.
She looks up at the sky, the way she's done for almost three years now. She looks up at the sky, at the 'he' that wanted her dead, at the 'he' that may or may not exist and whispers,
"Maybe you don't get to kill me after all."
She lifts her hands up to the sky and waits, her eyes closed and mouth sealed under the pain and when it finally becomes too much, when she's one breath away from collapsing, she brings the hammer down and hits the core.
And it was truly a shame that no one else was present. It was truly a shame that Elizabeth Stark's eyes were closed, her brother too far away, everyone else on their way down to the ground.
The lightning causes part of the sky to darken and the water is roaring and rapid. The flames are equivalent to wildfire and the ice is a glacier. They align together, all four of the elements that Elizabeth Stark spent her entire life denying and it was the kind of art that belonged in a museum and should never sell.
And it was truly a shame that no one else was present. It was truly a shame that Elizabeth Stark's eyes were closed, her brother too far away, everyone else on their way down to the ground. Because when the hammer hits the core, when Elizabeth Stark screams and puts everything she has, everything she is to the vibranium device, and the core erupts along with all of Sokovia, no one sees the colours that burst out of the core, incinerating the device in one go and vaporizing the city.
This time, there is no Infinity gem that saves Elizabeth. This time, there is no luck or chance that prevents her from falling. This time, she does not have her powers to keep her in the air, to keep her alive.
She falls and she slips into unconsciousness.
This time, she thinks, she doesn't have anything to save her.
She's wrong.
She has Tony. She always has Tony.
And as she falls and slips into unconsciousness, air rushing through her air, pulse beating at a rate too high, muscles limp and mobility gone, she feels the coldness of metal and smiles.
She falls and closes her eyes feeling no fear, no pain; feeling nothing but the peace that is projected through the smile on her face.
Tony will save her.
Tony always saves her.