A/N: Fair warning, the end of this chapter gets pretty heavy/dark. Sensitive material to be sure.
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Inside Jack's Head
"Kim, breakfast!" I call through her door but get no answer. I knock and still nothing. I don't remember Kim ever being a light sleeper.
I take a chance and slowly open the door to make sure she's okay. A million things rush through my head qat once. I don't know what to expect. When I do look inside, she's gone. The bed is empty and the room looks like it never had an occupant. She remade the bed, but her missing duffel bag makes me wonder if she even slept here.
With the idea that she left here, too, I run down stairs to the kitchen where I know Juliet is making breakfast. I clear the stairs in three hops.
"Mom, Kim's..." I trail off what I'm shouting to see both Kim and Juliet making breakfast together. "Helping you make pancakes..." I finish lamely, seeing what's happening. Kim didn't run from us, too. She's earning her meal like she wanted to.
"She is," Juliet answers my awkwardness with a smile. "A great job at that, too."
"It's just pancakes, Mrs. Spencer," Kim says, shaking off the compliment. I'm guessing Kim isn't exactly used to compliments from a parent figure. Juliet picked up on it, too, frowning at me.
We weren't mad at Kim, god no! We were sympethetic of Kim. Most girls would have giggled or blushed or returned it, right? Kim just shrugged my mom off and spiked the shoe to the ground before the other could drop.
"Ready to eat?" Juliet asks me and Kim. I want to race Kim to the table like care free kids, but she just nods and stalks to the table, the pancakes stacked on the plate in her hand.
Juliet lets Kim past her and spares me a sad glance. It doesn't take a genius to tell Kim isn't okay. We don't expect her to be. Have you ever been a seventeen year old kid whose parents didn't give a shit about? She feels like a nuisance to anyone that tries to help her. She doesn't think she belongs anywhere. Kim Crawford thinks she's a girl without a home.
"Mornin' everybody!" Shawn greets everyone in his usual peppy way. He looks extra pumped. He must have a case.
"Hey dad," I wave to him at the elbow as Kim sets him up a plate. Kim's serving herself last, making sure she doesn't step on anyone's toes or take too much. Kim is absolutely selfless and trying to be as small a body in the house as possible.
By the time Kim had set up Shawn, Juliet and me, she only had two little pancakes. She gave me four good sized ones. I give her two and took one of her baby pancakes so we were even.
Kim looks at me like she's confused. I smile and take a bite of the baby pancake. I point to hers and mouth "you should eat." Kim nods and slowly begins eating, taking the most ginger bites. She's really not okay here. I need to talk to her before she does something stupid. What that entails, I don't exactly know.
It doesn't take us long to eat, and in a few minutes, we're off to School in Juliet's little Volkswagen.
The entire ride, Kim doesn't speak, she doesn't sing with the radio like she used to. She just stares out the window, her breathing even slow.
"Thanks for the ride, mom! See ya when you get off work!" I hug Juliet and head out.
"Thanks, Mrs. Spencer," Kim says quietly and gets out as well. She seemed to have missed the hug Juliet offered.
"No problem, Kim," Juliet smiles, easily shaking off Kim's hug miss. "I'll see you at home." I didn't miss how Juliet threw in home.
"Yeah," Kim uneasily smiles back. This girl really needs help.
I haven't heard mention or even seen Kim check for messages from Brett. I know this is none of my damn business, but where the hell is Brett?
"Jack, you comin'?" Kim asks, looking at me, seeming a little worried. I look down at my hands and see they clenched without me even knowing.
"Yeah," I flash a quick smile and catch up in a few easy strides. "How are you today?" I ask quietly, letting my soft tone tell her I would like a real answer, but I won't push. Not yet.
"Good," she answers simply, but her behavior so far tells me she's full of it. "A little tired, but good."
Okay, she's giving me something. "Didn't sleep well?"
"I slept long enough, I guess. Just..." Kim pauses and I don't like it. "Just bad dreams, ya know?"
"Any you want to talk about?"
"Nah, they're stupid."
"If they were enough to keep you from sleeping well, they aren't stupid." I hate how much Kim has been doubting everything about herself lately.
Kim sighs and she hops up on the little stone retaining wall just before the front doors of the school. "I had a dream that my dad got me back before I moved in with you. He broke into Lusa's when I was still asleep..." Kim trails off and I know this isn't easy for her. I can only nod and let her keep going.
"He woke me up by pulling me off the couch. He started yelling at me..." Kim's pause here makes me think she's debating on whether or not to tell me just what he told her.
"It's okay, you don't need to share in detail. Just what you're comfortable with, okay?"
"Well, he said a lot of shit to me," Kim cut some major corners, that's easy enough to tell.
"Did you believe any of it?" Please say no.
Kim's pause without answer was the answer that was as bad as yes. "School's starting soon," Kim says and gets up, completely avoiding the question. Another substitute for yes.
"Want me to sit with you at lunch?" I offer, expecting an easy yes on this.
"If you want to, but you don't have to. I don't want you to feel like you have to spend all your time with me, Jack," Kim says quietly. There's that burden thing of hers again.
We're inside now, and I go to hang with Milton and Jerry while Kim goes to sit with Brett. I look over my shoulder in time to see her sit next to him, and she actually gets a kiss from him. Why did I do that to myself? Was it to make sure Kim's okay, or was it to punish myself for something?
Okay, yeah, I have a thing for Kim, if you haven't noticed. How couldn't I? But Brett has her, even if he's not doing much to keep her. Kim's loyal, too. I can't just break them up or try to home wreck them. I'm not that kinda guy and she's not that kinda girl.
"Yo Jack! Como estas?" Jerry asks, holding his fist out for a bump.
"Eh, asi, asi," I respond, choosing not to start my day out lying already.
"What's wrong, old friend of mine?" Milton's eyebrows scrunch. I love thos little nerd. He's my nerd. People have tried to fuck with him before, and it never ends well. Me or Kim are always more than ready to bust a bully's head, especially when they're after Milton.
"Trouble sleeping. A little tired," I say, again not lying but not saying too much. Me and Kim both seem to have that in common.
"What's going on up there, dude?" Jerry asks, tapping the side of my head with his knuckles.
"Too much, man, too much," I say with a chuckle. "A close buddy of mine isn't having an easy time and I'm worried about em', ya know?" Damn, I'm having a good morning with these vague truths.
"Can we offer some armchair assistance, perhaps?" Milton offers thoughtfully. This is why I love this kid. He doesn't ask for names or how I know this person (Kim). He just wants to help, completely anonymous on both sides.
"No way, yo! Nanna just gave me that chair! Ain't nobody getting their hands on it so soon!" Jerry yells defiantly, completely missing the point, as per usual.
"Jerry my friend, go hit your head off the locker a few times and see if that knocks qnything into place," Milton tells our lovable idiot with a sigh and an eyeroll.
"I've tried before, but alright..." Jerry sighs and turns to leave but Milton pulls him back by the arm.
"What's up, Jack?" Milton's back in philosopher mode.
"A buddy of mine just ran away, alright? Seventeen years old, no plan, up and leaves. Stays with a friend that's barely making it as is. Another friend tells my buddy to moce in with them. My buddy does..."
"This friend doesn't feel right there either?" Milton guesses, nailing it first try.
"Bingo," I confirm.
"Why'd this bro move out? Something wrong at the crib?" Jerry tries filling in holes.
"Yeah, but I don't have the whole story."
"Shit, man. My cousin Chewie was in s similar sitch a bit ago. Chew's dad was abusive as all hell, physical, made Chews feel like old queso and all. Chew Bear moved into me casa and had the whole PTSD thing. He felt like a casaless hombre for a while. Started drinking and shit behind my back."
"I had no idea, Jerry," Milton says sympathetically. We all know how much Chewie means to Jerry. He's like Jerry's brother.
"How did you get Chewie to stop? How did you get him to feel like he belonged?" I ask. I thought Milton would be my gold mine for helping Kim. I didn't think it would be Jerry.
Jerry opened his mouth to speak, but the bell to start the day cut him off. "Sorry, dude," Jerry shrugged, heading off to grab his things.
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Lunch comes around and this time I actually have my head about me as I go through the line. The girl my head has been wrapped around for the last two days and nights is three people ahead of me, well, is the third person ahead of me. Frank and then Brett.
"Little Orphan Brewer!" Frank calls as I fall in behind him. He thinks it's funny even after the five-hundredth delivery. If he's making that joke now... yeah. The lunchroom is crawling with Dragons.
"Morning to you, too, Frank," I drawl, not in the mood for his bullshit. Especially not this bullshit.
"You haven't hit me yet?" Frank asks in a smug tone, knowing he has backup. I have Kim. That's my backup. I don't know how many Dragons are here right now, but as I think of it, when have Wasabis ever concerned themselves with numbers?
"I'm thinking about it," I say truthfully, scratching my chin. I see Kim nod ahead of me, telling me she has my back. "Is that all you have for me today? Little Orphan Brewer? Nothing new?"
"Do your adoptive parents ever count down the days until you become Batman?" Wow. Frank is actually laughing at his own joke.
"That was good, Frank. Last time I heard that one I laughed so hard it woke your mom up and she kicked me out of her bed. I was in such a rush to leave, I forgot to put money on her dresser." That's a little more savage than I usually go for, but as earlier stated, I'm not in the mood.
The kids nearest us began to laugh and that was all Frank could handle. The giant idiot threw a haymaker of all things. A karate student tosses out a haymaker? Boy should be ashamed of himself.
I easily duck the punch and straighten back up, digging a knee into his ribs. I see another Dragon approach, but before he can act, I see a red blur and then Ryan going down. Kim sniped him in the throat with an apple and had another ready to go.
She didn't have to throw it because Fuckin' Funderburk the principal stormed in. "That's enough! What is wrong with you kids?! This is a place of learning, not a prison!" he roared. I personally think it's both. "You four," he pointed to me, Kim, Frank and Ryan, "my office. NOW!"
It was a quick walk, one we felt we made once a week. Funderbunker slammed the door behind us and kicked his chair for effect because he's a douche like that.
"Give me one reason I shouldn't call all your parents." Fuck.
"How about we just get detention for a couple years and we don't call parents," Kim suggests, her levelheadedness surprising me.
"I think we can do that. Detention today and tomorrow, how's that?" Funderbutt offers.
"I'll take that plea bargain," Kim drops her fist on Fundernuts's desk like she just won a big poker hand.
"Yeah, I'm cool with that," I back Kim up.
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Detention lasted a bit longer than I expected, so here me and Kim sit on our retaining wall as I text Shawn to let him know what's up. I'm hoping it's him and not Juliet that gets us.
Me and Kim have a silent wait, and my heart hops into my chest when I see Juliet's car instead of Shawn's.
"Prepare for a lecture," I give Kim fair warning.
"So, how was school?" are the first words from her mouth and I know we're in for a rough ride home.
"It was good." I didn't mind knee smashing Frqnk's ribs.
"Why?" Juliet asks knowingly. I look over to Kim and she's whiter than a sheet. She's not ready for a tongue lashing, not after her nightmare. Juliet has no idea...
"Mom, can me and you go over this later?" I plead for Kim's sake. She's already death gripping her shirt hem.
"No, Jack. We need to talk about how often you're getting in petty School fights. It's detention and calls home now, but if this streak of yours keeps up, you're going to find yourself in the station, mister!" She really is pissed this time.
"And Kim, come on." Oh fuck. "Shawn and I didn't take you in so you could get in trouble at school consequence free. You're a bright girl with a good future ahead of you, but you have to stop thinking with your fists like Jack, honey. You know better, I know you do. I'm really disappointed in the both of you."
That could have been worse, but wqtching Kim in the back seat trying not to cry is as bad as it gets.
"Mom, this was all me. Kim just had my back, that's it!" I try to defend her.
"It's great that she has your back, but neither of you should ever fight in the first place! It's highschool! What are you running into that you can't solve with your heads? Start thinking more, you two," Juliet finishes, shaking her head. I look back at Kim to see she lost the fight with her tears.
We pull into the driveway just then and Kim bursts out of the car, whiping her eyes as she runs in the house right past Shawn.
"Jules, did you hit K.C.?!" Shawn asks, pointing past the freshly slammed door.
"What? No! I just scolded them for getting in another fight! I don't know why Kim..." Juliet stops when she sees me holding my hand up.
I explain to her and Shawn the talk Kim and I had this morning.
"Damn Jules, way to kick the poor kid!"
"Shut up, Shawn! I didn't know!" Jukiet says, holding the back of her hand to her mouth, obviously feeling terrible.
"She'll be okay, mom. Can I go talk to her?"
"Of course, sweety. Then I think I need to," Juliet says quietly and we hug it out. Shawn gets in on it, too. He just likes group hugs. It's a long story.
I run inside the house and up the stairs to Kim's room. Her door's closed and I can hear her crying through the door.
"Kim, can I please come in?" I try. I don't get an answer, just sobs. I take a chance and go in. My jaw drops and I'm left standing here speechless as I see Kim sitting on the bed with rolled up sleeves and... and a pocket knife in her hand.
"Go away, Jack!" Kim screams, but I can't seem to get my legs to work, my eyes stuck on the two new lines with red beads on her wrists.
"Oh Kim, no..."