I know it's been a while, but life is crazy right now, so I'm sorry. This story isn't exactly easy to write either. It's not for lack of skill or imagination, it just hits home pretty hard. Enough about that, though. Last little thing, please don't forget to YouTube the chapter titles! The chapter titles are song names and artists that fit fit with the chapters. It adds a lot more, so give them a listen to!

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Inside Jack's Head

It's been a rough but good week for Kim, I think. She's been applying for jobs left and right, trying to find ones that work well with her school schedule. Juliet and Shawn have been on the hunt for her as well. She's still rocking school full time, too. I really think that wasn't something I should have worried about in the first place. I know Kim better than that, and I don't know why I discredited her toughness.

It's crazy to think Kim has been here for a week. Somethings are slower going than expected. I made the mistake of thinking that our talk last week would automatically make Kim feel a lot better at home. She's been trying to spend more time and get her bubbly back, but it's easy to see she's trying. She's also still been all self secluding at school. Where we are now.

School's just let out and we're waiting for Shawn to bring us to the dojo. Shawn's taking beginner classes, too, which is kind of weird. Juliet wants him to learn self defense because of his high danger job, but Shawn won't let Juliet teach him for some reason.

Shawn pulls up in his blue Toyota Echo and me and Kim hop in the back seat. Wait… why did I hop in the back seat? I'm guessing Shawn is wondering that, too,as he watches me from the rearview and takes off.

"So, how was school?" Shawn asks, being the typical boring dad.

"School was okay," Kim answers first. "The classes were pretty boring but gym was actually really cool. Me and Lusa were…" This is really cool! This is the most Kim has actually chosen to open up about her day! "And Donna started picking on me for playing in long sleeves, but you know how Luse gets when anybody picks on her friends. Luse picked up the dodge ball and BOOM! Nails her right in the face." Kim and Shawn are both laughing hysterically at the story I kinda missed out on.

"Top that, Jack. You gotta have something," Shawn tries to get me.

"Uh… we were working on dissecting a rat," I get cut off by Shawn and Kim both 'ew'ing me. "We were dissecting a rat," I try again, "and me and Jerry had to pool money together just so Milton wouldn't do some… extracurricular exploration."

"That's really gross," Kim says and laughs a little bit. I'm glad she's starting to laugh more again, even if at my expense.

We pull up to the dojo and walk in like nothing's wrong. Well, I guess nothing is wrong. Nothing's currently going on. I need to stop treating Kim like some kind of patient.

"Hey guys!" Rudy says as he comes out of his office, a duffel bag in hand and gi already on. "You guys get changed and stretch out. We'll start in fifteen," Rudy announces to me and Kim. Shawn waves and goes to the food court because his practice is in one hour.

I go into the locker room and see Jerry and Milton beat me here. They're all ready to go, but they're both sitting on the bench, staring at me.

"Hey guys, what's up?" I ask, not likin the way they're watching me.

"When were you going to tell us Kim's not living at home anymore?" Milton asks, straight to the point. Well shit.

"What? What are you talking about?" I'm a terrible actor, and I can see it on their faces that they don't believe I don't know.

"Jack, you can play Jerry for a fool most of the time, but not me. Jerry and I went by Kim's to see if she needed a ride to practice yesterday and her mom said she was no longer living there. She didn't tell us anything, but it was enough," Milton explains.

"Why are you just asking me now if you knew this yesterday?" I ask with a scoff. Yes, I'm completely trying to avoid answering.

"We were debating on the best way to bring it up in a private setting, and we decided this was the best course of action."

"Why are you assuming I knew before you guys?" I can only dodge Milton for so long.

"That question you asked Jerry and I. I put that together with Kim's mother saying she was gone. I'm convinced she told you, and she is now living with you. Bold move, by the way."

"Bold move? What are you talking about?" I know exactly what he's talking about. I just don't like the allegation!

"You know what I'm insinuating, Jack. You may not think that it will work, or that it's actually your plan, but your subconscious knows what you're up to."

"Milton, I'm helping a friend. Nothing more. I know what you're insinuating, and I'm going to tell you once and I'm going to tell you now… drop it."

"Yo Milt, what are you insinuwhating?" Jerry asks, being the ever fucking idiot.

"I mean that I think Jack may be…" Oh for the love of…

"Milton thinks that I offered to help out Kim by letting her move in with me so she'll dump Brett and come to me," I spell out for Jerry in normal English instead of Milton's annoying as hell professor speak.

"Dude, that's some deep stuff!" Jerry says, sounding shocked as usual.

"Yeah, some deep stuff that's not happening," I throw out. "Milton, you know me! How could you even think that about me? How could you even think I would do something like that?"

"That may not be your plan, Jack, but I can tell you now that that will happen, and when it does, you won't turn her down. Whether it is your intent or not, you are slowly wrestling Kim from Brett."

"Milton, you need to stop talking right now. And I'm not trying to do anything but help Kim. As far as Brett goes, if she leaves him, that won't be my fault at all. Brett is a self absorbed, single person minded son of a bitch that never should have started dating Kim in the first place. He didn't tell her that he's as emotional as a bucket of ice. He never told her that he wouldn't make any special appointments to tell her the time of day. What he should have told her is that he wasn't ready for a girl like Kim, that he wasn't ready to be there for anyone but himself!"

I'm shaking now, my fists are clenched and my jaws are clamped like some kind of raging animal. My chest is rising and falling and I shut my eyes because I'm so mad I'm dizzy.

"Come on Jack, just sit down. I'm sorry, okay? I'm just worried about Kim, and I don't want to see her hurt. I don't want to see you do anything detrimental to you, your friendship with her or the group dynamics," Milton explains and I should have known that's where he was coming from.

"I'm sorry I blew up, man, I really am. It's just…"

"It's okay, Jack. You got defensive, and I did accuse you of something very serious in regards to your morals and honor, which I've never questioned before."

"Do you guys really need to be so… big wordy?" Jerry asks, scratching his head. I swear, I don't know how that boy has made it that long.

"Hey, everything alright in here?" Rudy asks, coming into the locker room. "I heard some shouting, but I couldn't make out what's going on. Jack, you okay? You're all red and stuff." Rudy is just so observant!

"Yeah Rudy, I'm good. Just some stuff that's been on my mind lately. I kinda just… blew up, you know?"

"Save that anger for the mat, tiger. It's sparring day!" Rudy says with a sadistic grin."

"Jack, may I please make a humble request? Can you not beat me to a bloody pulp for what we have just… discussed?" Milton asks timidly as soon as Rudy leaves.

"Milton, don't worry. You're my friend and I know you weren't trying to insult me or get me going. That's not who you are. I forgot that for a second, but we're good," I tell him before I offer him a fist bump. "And Jerry, next time me and Milton get 'too wordy' for you, it's okay to excuse yourself."

"But I didn't fart…"

"Yup, I'm sparring with Jerry today," I tell Milton with raised eyebrows and Milton just laughs.

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After dinner, me and Kim are sitting alone in the livingroom, Shawn and Juliet both gone on a date. Usually we do homework upstairs and join them for a bit of TV or a movie afterwards, but they had some kind of work thing. I hope they're okay, but I'm guessing it's dangerous because of how hush hush they both were.

Kim's sitting in the lazy boy, her English homework in her lap as she quietly hums a toon to herself. She's chewing on the clicker of her pen, and I start thinking about what Milton said. Maybe he was right. I know I didn't ask Kim to live with me for that purpose, but as I look at her, it becomes just a little bit harder not to. Maybe I do have an ulterior motive, maybe Milton was right again when he said maybe it wasn't but it will happen. I don't think it was my initial plan, but that idea's in my head now, and I have to admit… Kim could easily be my everything if I just let her. Brett doesn't deserve to let Kim be his everything because she will never let her be his everything. And there I go again! I need to quit thinking about it, damn it!

"Jack… you okay?" Kim asks hesitantly, looking back at me now. She must have caught me looking.

"Yeah. Why?" I try to play off cooly.

"You're just looking at me like you have something to say. Seriously, what's up?" she asks, sitting upright instead of her head on one armrest and her legs dangling off the other.

"Nothing's up. Just thinking about something I talked with Milton about today," I loosely explain. I don't want her to know just how much she's been on my mind lately. It's been nonstop, really.

"Nothing you need to talk to me about?" She's got her knees pressed to her chest, one arm wrapped around her legs and the other still holding the pen to her lips. I need to stop thinking she looks absolutely adorable right now. I wouldn't be thinking that if Milton hadn't made me hyper aware of things that may or may not be in my head right now. Damn that ginger!

"Milton and Jerry know you're not at home anymore." Well there goes that.

"Oh…" is all Kim mutters. "Did you tell them?"

"No!" I shout, not wanting Kim to think I'd betray her trust like that. "Of course not, it wasn't my place to tell. They went to your parents' house yesterday, Kim, to see if you needed a ride," I explain.

"Let me guess. My fucking dad answered the door, right?" Kim's scowling now, and I can only imagine the little movie her head is concocting right now.

"Your mom, actually," I let her know so her mind can rest a bit easier.

"Oh…" Kim says just above a whisper. It sounded really sad, and I begin to wonder what her relationship with her mom was like. I know she despises her dad to no end, but I don't know much about her mom. "Did Milton and Jerry say if my mom said anything?" Kim's voice is still just a ghost right now.

"Not really," I tell her, shaking my head. "They just said your mom told them you weren't there anymore, and that was really it."

"She doesn't even know where I am… she never asked me where I was going," Kim sniffles and I'm afraid there's going to be tears. It makes me hate to ask this…

"Kim, how were you with your mom?"

Kim just stares at the floor for a second before looking at me, her eyes seeming to look through me. "I don't… I don't really know. We were alright, I guess. She always asked me how school was, helped me with my homework. That was about it, though," Kim lets out and I can hear a sadness in her voice.

"My mom was the sweetest, you know?" Kim chuckles dryly. "She never stopped working. She was always doing this that or the other thing around the house to keep the piece of shit standing while I didn't do anything and my dad sure never lifted a finger to help." A tear is forming in the corner of her sweet puppy dog brown eyes and I can't do a damn thing about it. I just need to listen to the poor girl right now.

"She tried her best and it was never good enough for Chuck." She's using her dad's first name now. Here we go. " The house was never clean enough. There were never enough dishes done. His favorite shirt of the day was never clean when he needed it. Everything was mom's fault, you know?" I hear her voice breaking, her eyes welling up with tears and her jaw is starting to tremble.

"He would always yell about her for everything and everything. Hell, he had him convinced it was her fault when it rained. He hated her religious beliefs and even called her by her mother's name a few times," Kim sniffles again, a cold smile playing on her lips as if remembering a fond memory. "Mom always just took it. She would barely ever fight back, and she never raised her voice. I think that would just piss him off more, and I think that was my mom's best weapon. When he… when he got drunk there was never any telling him he was wrong, you know?"

"Does your dad get violent when he's drunk?" I have to ask. I can see Chuck trying to hurt Kim or her mom, and Chuck isn't a small man.

"Nah," Kim said shaking her head and wiping away a tear before it could fall. "He's an unpredictable drunk. Sometimes he's funny as hell when he's drunk. Sometimes he gets real quiet and just reads his books from college until he falls asleep. He might start playing some of the songs he grew up with on his guitar. That's the drunk I liked best." It hurts to hear her say that she even had a favorite drunk side of her dad. No kid should have a favorite drunk dad side. That's not on Kim. That's what she grew up with and had to deal with. That's sick that Chuck gave her so many sides to choose from and that Kim had seen them all enough times to have a favorite.

"Most of the time, before I left, he just got mad and shouted a lot. Mostly about money. She was spending 'his paycheck,'" she tosses up air quotes, "on bills, but somehow he was still able to get drunk and smoke whenever he damn well pleased."

"It sounds like you didn't leave your mom. You left him," I offer.

"No, that's the thing," Kim stops and bites her knuckle, her eyes screwed tight, a hand on her belly. She's so sad that she's actually in pain and it's killing me to watch this. I've had my fair share of shit, but not this. "I left dad, but I left mom behind, too." Kim finally loses it and begins to sob, her face buried in her shirt sleeve.

"I don't want to leave mom with him, in that house with that fucker! With me gone, she's his only punching bag now. There's nothing I could do, though. I'm just a seventeen year old girl, Jack. I couldn't do anything," Kim says out of breath.

"Kim, please," I plead with her, my eyes tearing up now because of my best friend in the world, and yes my crush. She's tearing herself to pieces over something she can't control. It's such a terrible situation, but she said it herself. What can she do?

"Kim, none of this is your fault. It's not your job to protect your mom. It's her job to protect herself, and you, her daughter. She should have left Chuck long ago. You left. She can, too."

"There's no way she can still love him. I don't."

"Kim, would you like a hug?" It's against my judgement to offer, given how my head's been spinning today, but no matter what, Kim's heart comes first, whether I'm in it or not.

Kim nods and stands, as do I. We hug it out in the middle of the living room, Kim wrapping her arms under mine so tight. I gently rub her back and don't talk. She doesn't need me to. She just needs me to listen and offer a hug every now and then.

"You can look up to Shawn and Juliet. I know what not to do from watching my dad. You hear all the time how terrible it is to grow up in a broken home. I hear that…" Kim pauses and takes in a deep breath. "But what about growing up in a house that should have broken?"