A/N: Please listen to Blackmill's "Spirit of Life" while you read.

Assuming Jack

April

Today's my birthday. Yes, I'm turning 18 and am in Junior year. Things got complicated with the scheduling for school when I started. I had to do testing and stuff to know what I could do and what class to throw me in. I got stuck in "conditional first grade." I still don't know what that shit was.

I need to hide it from Kim that it's my birthday. She's the kind of girl that feels bad about receiving presents, but loves giving them. This doesn't seem like a problem, but Kim is such a hard worker, and plans things so well. I don't want her to spend any money on me. She works hard for it.

Kim has a "three part paycheck," as she calls it. One-third goes to her savings, another third goes to "Kim Things" and the last third goes to the "Shawn Hunt," the thing where she leaves money in places for Shawn to find.

What Kim doesn't know (and won't find out) is that Shawn's not an idiot. Well, I mean, she knows Shawn's not an idiot. What I mean is that Shawn knows it's from Kim, but Kim doesn't know Shawn knows. He told me how much he respects Kim's want to help back. What she also doesn't know is that Shawn and Juliet are putting that money back into an account for her college, should she choose to go.

"Hey Jack?" Shawn asks, knocking on my open door.

"Hey Dad," I say as I pause practicing my forms. "What's up?"

"So, me and Jules were thinking. You're officially eighteen now. Today. Now I'm not pushing you. This is only if you want…"

"Oh my God, Dad. Just… what?" If I don't make him get to the point, he never will.

"My best friend Gus inherited his uncle's house. He's had it a while, but after the whole grieving thing, he finally knows what he wants to do with it," Shawn explains kind of. I'm still trying to figure out what he's getting at, but I think I have a good idea. "He's going to rent it out. That way it's still in the family and he can keep an eye on it. I suggested you and Kim!" He finally drops the second shoe.

"That's a great… wait. Did you say me AND Kim?" That is not what I expected.

"I did. He's willing to rent it out for $400 a month between the two of you, including utilities. It's a steal, dude."

I'm speechless. He wants me and Kim, KIM, to move in together? I feel like this is a little weird. "Have you talked to Mom about this? Me and Kim are young and not even dating. And you want us to move in together? Doesn't that seem… scandalous? And God have mercy on my soul for having used that word," I add as an afterthought.

"I have talked to Jules. We trust you two to not do anything stupid. We're not even worried about that, anyway. We know you two are smart enough, and you two have lived here together for months, so you both know you can live together without being dumb and childish." He and Juliet have talked about this to some length, I can tell.

"Uh… I'll talk to Kim, I guess," I say with a shrug. This situation, even the idea, still seems surreal. Let me say again; me and Kim LIVING together. Just us! I feel like that is how me and Kim become "more than just friends." Of course, not, you know… doing anything dumb. Birds and bees dumb. That's just a way to get us… couple, together. Shawn is right, not we're not dumb.

"Sweet! You do that," Shawn says and leaves the room after punching me in the arm.

I put a shirt on and head over to Kim's room. The door's closed, so I'm assuming she's absolutely clueless about the talk we're going to have. I knock on the door and Kim tells me to come in with an even voice, no emotion to it at all.

"Hey Kim, you okay?" I ask as I enter and close the door behind me. She's laying on her bed, chewing on her lip and writing something down in a notebook.

"Hmm? Oh, yeah," she says and looks up at me, finally smiling. "What's up, Jack?"

"Got a minute?" I ask as I sit next to her laid out body. Her ankles are crossed and her back naturally bows with her seal-like position. She has a nice, strong back with a great curve to it from years of gymnastics and martial arts.

"If you didn't think I did, would you have closed the door behind you and sat on my bed?" she answers and challenges me at the same time.

"Touché," I say with an awkward chuckle. I didn't think it was that bad till it left my mouth. "So, uh, I just talked to Shawn…"

"Oh no…" Kim whispers, her brown eyes turning to saucers. "About what? Did he peak at your present? I told him not to go snooping! He told you what I got you!"

"No, no he didn't!" I rush to Shawn's defense.

"Okay, good," Kim tells me with a happier, relaxed smile. Anyway, what's up?" We're back on track. Kim's also known me since I moved here at the beginning of our freshman year, so I should have figured she memorized my birthday. I'm having a slow day.

"Okay, so anyway,"

"Oh, and happy birthday!" she grins and pounces, giving me a big hug. I laugh and hug her back. It is my turn for my eyes to get wide though, when I feel Kim's soft lips kiss my cheek. It's the first time since Christmas that I've felt her lips, and it immediately brings me back to that mistletoe memory for a second before I can snap back. I don't want to linger on that too long.

"Thanks. But Kim, I need you to focus now. We really need to talk," I stress. "I'm eighteen now. And Shawn and Juliet have talked about it,"

"You're moving out?" she guesses quietly, and her jaw drops. Her eyes get glassy and she looks like she's about to cry.

"Hear me out," I try to slow her mind down, but I can tell by her expression that she's anxiously waiting on my every word now. "Gus," who she also knows well through me and my parents, "has a house that he's going to rent."

"Okay," she says and she nods. I watch as she swallows deeply, her little Adam's apple bobs up and down once.

"$400 a month including utilities. Shawn and Juliet said between us that we can afford it." I hope she catches that little "us" I threw in there.

Kim sits there, blinking at me. She's not saying anything.

"Kim?" I try, making sure she's still with me. "Hello?"

"We're supposed to move in together?" she finally speaks.

"It's not that we're supposed to, it's that we can. You know, like roommates," I make sure to clarify.

"Are you ready to move out, let alone take me with you?" Kim asks. It's a fair question.

"Yeah, I think so. We both have jobs, we're both responsible. Shawn and Juliet pointed out that we already know we can live together." I'm throwing out positives, and I don't want her to think I'm pushing her.

"I know you're not trying to pull me into anything, Jack." She's good. "It's just not something I want us, or at least me, to jump into." She's a smart girl. "I guess I'm just worried, you know? I know there are other seventeen year olds out there that buy their own way, but I'm the only one I know."

"It's okay, Kim. We don't have to. It's just a thought," I tell her. She still looks pensive, so I wrap one arm around her. She leans in just a bit, but she doesn't put her head on my shoulder or anything. "But I think I have to take the offer."

"You have to?" I question. I'm not challenging her, but the wording makes me think she's got something big and personal on her mind.

"Yeah. I ran away from home. I asked for this, for adulthood. If I have a shining opportunity to take a bigger step into independence, than I need to take it. And Shawn and Juliet won't have to take care of me anymore, too," she said with a light smile.

I scoff at her. "Kim, you do your own laundry. You do Easter egg hunts with Shawn to help pay for your utilities. You do the house's dishes before anyone can tell you no. For seventeen, you're pretty damn independent."

Kim sits there, looking deep in thought. I think she's really chewing on my words. She smiles brighter this time when she looks at me. "You're right, Jack. We can do this. Let's do it. Let's move in together. You know, as a mutual economic agreement. Plutonic."

"Yes! Exactly." We have achieved same page status!

XxX

Kim's been packed for three days now. She has a lot less shit than I do. She has one of Shawn's old TVs. One of those tube TVs, not a flat screen. She has a dresser, a nightstand, her duffle and a collection of books. That is all she has. She hasn't acquired anything new, really. I think she's been living light because she doesn't expect to live in one place long. I'm still not sure she's ever really felt she belongs here.

Speaking of who I was just thinking about, Kim knocks on my open door. "Hey Jack," she smiles and invites herself in. "Looks like you're almost done," she observes.

"Yeah," I confirm. "I just taped up the last box. Come have a sit before we start loading up," I tell her and pat the bare mattress.

"Alright," she shrugs and joins me. "Everything okay?" she asks me.

"I was about to ask you the same thing. I also really want to ask… did you ever really feel like you, you know, actually lived here?"

Kim chews her lip, which she seems to be doing a lot of lately. "I feel like I live at your place, and Shawn and Juliet's house. I feel like I live here, but it's never been for me to say my house. With the new house, I think I'll better be able to say 'my' house." I really do feel better knowing that she'll probably feel more comfortable where we're going. It's a lot closer to school, so we can walk together, too.

"Did you hate living here?" I ask next. I don't mean to interview her, but I really want her to say no.

"I never hated it here. I remember at first, I would just sit on a chair or on the end of the couch and not say a word while you guys, the real happy family did your bonding thing." Well that's not what I wanted at all. "That made me feel out of place. But after a while, I warmed up. You guys warmed me up. I didn't feel like part of the family, but I felt welcome, you know?"

"Yeah, I know," I tell her. I know exactly what she means. I can see in her eyes that she knows that I really do. "I was new to the family once, too. Just like you were when you moved in, and just like you were at Christmas. But this living without parents thing, the us being the head of the house, we're both doing this for the first time together."

"Yeah, we are. But Jack, there's a memory I'd like to share with you about the first month I was here."

I take her hand and tell her, "I'm all ears."

"I want to say it was my first month… monthiversary, I guess. You were at a sleepover with Jerry and Milton and Juliet was at a convention for work or something. Anyway, me and Shawn were here alone." I have no idea where this is going, but it's a weird way to start a story.

"It was like, 2:00 a.m. Shawn knocked on my door," she continues, "and he asked if I was still up. I was a little hesitant, but I said 'yeah.'" I'm still waiting to figure out what she's trying to tell me. "He asked if I wanted to hang out. It was Friday night, so he didn't think I'd miss the sleep, so I went to chill with Shawn.

"I could tell he had a few too many drinks. But he was just hanging out on the couch and listening to music from the laptop. He played a song from a group called Blackmill, I think it was. Spirit of Life."

"Oh shit," I breathe, knowing that song. "That's Shawn's healing song."

"Yeah," Kim nods and swallows deeply. Her eyes glass over and I can see she's about to cry, but I won't try to stop this one. I can tell she needs it. "Shawn told me all about him and his dad, and his parents' divorce and what it did to him, that things are still far from great with his dad. I told him everything, Jack. My childhood, me trying to be Ann's mom because my mom didn't have the strength with what my dad is doing, and my Dad sure wasn't doing any parenting. And I told him about Brett not being able to be there for me. I told him that I felt like I betrayed Ann for leaving her behind."

Kim's tears are freely running now, accompanied by the occasional sniffle. I can only hold her while she lets it out. "I told Shawn all about the cutting. He asked why, and I told him that I was too young to drink, and too young to smoke, but that I needed something. Shawn hugged me and we just listened to that song until we both stopped crying."

I'm speechless. I wish I was there to cry with them. "I wish I was there, Kim. I wish I could have shared with you guys. I want you to know that the three of you are the most important people in my life right now. And this, us moving, isn't going to split anything."

"What really bugs me, is that me and Shawn shared so much that night. I feel like we're all so close now, but I still don't feel like I'm home," my dearest friend laments.

"I know," I whisper, brushing her hair with my knuckles. "It's not the people that make home. You can be anywhere with the right people, Kim, but home, your home, is the place you make. This house was always made. Your room was made for you, but you didn't make it. We'll be making our place starting today. That will be our home because it's ours to make. Does that make any sense?"

"Yeah, it does," Kim confirms and sits up straight, wiping tears from her eyes.

"Shawn and Juliet will always be your big brother and sister, but I understand that this could never be your home, and I think you get that, too, now." I get that I'm an eighteen year old kid, but there are just some things that are learned young, and once you learn it, experience it, you just… know how to say it. That's what happened right here.

"I'm scared but excited, you know?" Kim asks with a little laugh.

"Yeah, I do. But when have the two of us NOT been able to do something? We'll figure it out. We'll get you on your own two feet like you always wanted to be. We'll show your dad that you don't need him. We'll show him that you're not just where you're next meal is coming from, but that you are where your life is coming from from now on."

Kim lunges forward and wraps me in a tight hug, cracking my back and nearly breaking my spine. I just laugh and rub her back. Kim is finally about to learn what it's like to be her own person. I can't be happier for her.