A/N 1: Including a TW here for certain flashbacks, little mentions of disordered thoughts, and a scene of self-harm at the very end. Reader discretion is advised. Now here is Chapter 8!

Chapter 8:

Olivia kept walking until she reached the seemingly empty waiting room. She collapsed into one of the plastic chairs and cried. She had never wanted to hurt Rosalie but she felt that she did by spending all of her time at work and never checking in or spending time with her. Now her daughter wanted nothing to do with her. She should have spent more time with her. She should have talked to her and asked her how she was feeling. It was too late now. She didn't know if she could ever fix things with her daughter now.

"Olivia?"

Olivia looked up to see John standing in front of her. She didn't even hear or see him in the room.

"Is Rosalie okay? What's going on?"

Olivia let out a shaky sigh.

"Amanda got Rosalie's statement and a rape kit was done on her, but she won't talk to me. I tried telling her that I didn't blame her and that it wasn't her fault, but…she told me to go back to the precinct. She really thinks I put my job first…which I have been doing and I blame myself for it because now…I think I lost her John…" Olivia buried her face in her hands, trying hard not to start crying again. She felt John sit next to her and wrap his arm around her.

"I was going to say I told you so, but I won't. Not now, not here. Liv, Rosalie's not stupid. She came to that precinct so often, hoping to get some time with you. What's done is done now. There's no going back and reversing the past, but you can start over starting now by being there for her recovery. Don't go rushing back to the precinct so quickly. You know we all can handle the cases and Captain is more than willing to let you take time off. Consider it at least," John said sternly, but also in a calm way. Olivia didn't think twice. She wanted to make amends with Rosalie and she would do anything to do so, even if it meant taking time off from work.

"I'll leave you be for now. May I see Rosalie? I have some things for her,"

Olivia looked over and noticed some flowers and a gift bag from the hospital's gift shop. She cracked a small smile and nodded. She wanted to mull things over and talk to Cragen about taking time off anyway.

John walked down the hallway towards Rosalie's room. When he reached the entryway, he poked his head in and saw the young girl staring at the ceiling, attached to multiple machines, and looking as though she had been crying.

"Knock knock!" John gave a light knock on the door. Rosalie turned her head quickly towards the door, thinking her mother had come back, but it was only her 'Uncle Munch'. She wasn't upset though. She was actually quite happy to see him, although she kept her emotions at bay.

John walked in and held out the bouquet of daffodils he picked up at the florist across the street from the hospital.

"No Roses for a Rosalie I'm afraid, but I got you daffodils!" John exclaimed and Rosalie couldn't help but crack a smile. Rosalie, despite being named after her mother's favorite flower, HATED roses, and already in the room was a bouquet of red roses. Seeing that her 'Uncle' had brought daffodils though, which was actually Rosalie's favorite flower, made her feel better. After replacing the roses with the daffodils on the table next to her bed, John sat in the chair next to Rosalie's bed and held out the gift bag towards her.

"I picked up some of your favorite things but had to use a hospital gift bag so I could bring them to you," John explained. Rosalie took the bag and pulled out the items from inside. First was an adult coloring book which included colored pencils. Next was two of her favorite candy bars, a Milky Way bar, and a Twix bar. Rosalie then pulled out a book about the most important Conspiracy Theories that everyone should know. Rosalie gave a quizzical look towards her 'Uncle' and John couldn't help but laugh.

"What? They go into depth about the Great Math Conspiracy!"

Rosalie rolled her eyes and genuinely smiled for the first time after all that she went through. John saw the smile and it made him happy knowing that he had brought some joy to his 'niece', who certainly needed some. Finally, Rosalie pulled out a brown paper bag that was cold to the touch, which she knew was a Strawberry milkshake from Schmendricks. She saw her 'Uncle' smile and pull out from the inside of his jacket, his own milkshake in a brown paper bag.

"Couldn't forget about our shakes now,"

Rosalie smiled, happy about all of her gifts and that she wasn't alone. She almost felt normal again, but deep down she knew that she wasn't, considering that she was hooked up to machines and in a hospital bed. She could never go back to the way things were, but for now, it was a lovely distraction.

There was some silence after that. John was expecting Rosalie to talk, but she kept her mouth closed, and half of the time she wasn't giving direct eye contact. He cleared his throat and said,

"Hey…come on talk to me. I know you're doing the silent treatment with your mom, but you can't do it with me. You know you can always talk to me. What's up?"

Rosalie stared at her gifts, unsure of what to do. Finally, she sighed and said,

"That day in the precinct…when I brought you the milkshake from Schmendricks and I wouldn't talk to you and practically ran out of there…"

John nodded, remembering that day exactly. When the air conditioner broke and also when Rosalie seemed a little off.

"…That party at Peter's Lake…my friend Lolah had told me all about it and she had pressured me into going…I was going to tell you about it but I chickened out," Rosalie's lip began to tremble as she tried to hold her self together. "I just wanted to be different. I wanted to be like everyone else and go to parties and make more friends…I wanted to not be stupid shy Rosalie,"

"But why would you want to be everyone else when you are your own special Rosalie?" John asked.

"Uncle Munch, I'm a loser! Nobody ever wants to be around me, not even my gymnastics team…they all hate me because I'm shy and careful and 'too nice'. I thought going to the party would help me become a 'different' Rosalie…" Rosalie exclaimed, before adding sarcastically, "Well it sure worked, because now I'm Rosalie! The girl who got kidnapped and raped, and who is a waste of time and space…"

"Whoa whoa whoa!" John stopped the young girl from berating herself. "Rosalie, you are NOT a waste of time or space. You are your own person Rosalie and if nobody in your school likes that, then that's their problem,"

"Uncle Munch everyone keeps telling me that this wasn't my fault, but I feel that it is. I should have never gone to that party, then none of this would be happening!" Rosalie felt angry tears well up in her eyes. "I shouldn't even be here. They should have just killed me down there…"

"Rosalie stop!" John raised his voice, almost yelling. He moved closer to the young girl and gripped her trembling hands tightly. "I don't want you to ever say that again. You are meant to be here and I will tell you right now, this wasn't your fault! Those men wanted to hurt your mother and they knew the best way to hurt her was to go after you. You did nothing wrong. They were the ones at fault. Rosalie…please believe me when I say this. You are a beautiful, strong, kind, and loving person. You make your mother proud every day and you make me proud as well. This whole thing is a rut in the road right now, but you can come back stronger, so don't think for a minute that you shouldn't be here,"

Rosalie took a shaky breath and nodded, understanding what her 'Uncle' had said. Yet as he pulled her into a hug, Rosalie couldn't stop believing what she had said. Those men took everything away from her. They destroyed her, dirtied her. How could she come back after this? Soon Rosalie pulled away. She tried to put on a brave face for now.

"You better drink your shake or else it will become a Milk-Soup!" Rosalie joked half-heartily.

"Same to you!" John answered back as he grabbed his drink from the paper bag and dug in, but Rosalie couldn't bring herself to take a sip. She looked at it and she just had no interest or desire to enjoy it. She pretended to take sips just to appease her 'Uncle', but nothing ever passed her lips. Soon her 'Uncle' had to leave and she thanked him for being there and for the gifts. As soon as he disappeared from sight, she took the shake and threw it in the garbage can next to her bed as well as her two candy bars.

It was the first time she didn't want to eat.

A couple of days passed and Rosalie was healing from her injuries. Her ribs weren't hurting as much now and even her scars and burns were starting to fade a bit. She still refused to speak to her mother, but Olivia persisted in trying to be there for her daughter. Rosalie wanted to believe that maybe her mother was changing, but deep down she figured that it was all an act and that her mother was going to go back to normal once she was up on her feet again.

Soon the doctors told her that she could go home. Rosalie was more than happy to do so. She was starting to go stir-crazy in that hospital bed. As soon as she was signed out, she and her mother left the hospital and went home. During the car ride, Rosalie remained silent, watching the active and busy city blur through her car window. Olivia tried to make small talk, but Rosalie was not interested. Maybe once they were home, Rosalie would start to open up.

Once they reached the apartment, Olivia unlocked the door and ushered Rosalie inside.

"Welcome home sweetheart! Is there anything you want or need?" Olivia asked.

Rosalie shook her head and started walking towards her room.

"Oh wait! Rosalie, your phone was smashed and unusable, so I got you something to hold you over until we can get a new one," Olivia held out an older cell phone that wasn't the latest and greatest, but it was something Rosalie could use to call and text people if she needed to. Rosalie took the phone and nodded her thanks. She went back to walking towards her room. When she got there and looked around, it felt different. Maybe it was because she hadn't been there for a while, but it still felt a bit strange. Quickly she closed the door and stripped out of the clothes the hospital gave her. She grabbed a fresh bra and underwear, some black leggings, and an oversized sweatshirt to wear, but before she could get dressed, she couldn't help but stare at herself in her full-length mirror. She winced at the sight of her healing cuts and bruises, which was the first thing she saw right off the bat…but she also saw something else. Her stomach was huge and protruding out like a pregnant woman's belly. Her arms were wide and flabby. Her thighs were ginormous. Her butt was hideous. She looked…ugly.

"God, she is a spitting image of Olivia!"

"She had a better ass though, and she was much skinnier. Pudgy little thing this is,"

"Nobody likes fat little cows,"

Rosalie pulled her away from the mirror. She couldn't bear to look at herself anymore. Not when all she could hear now were those men's cruel voices in her head. She truly was fat. A pudgy nobody. She needed to get rid of it…but how?

Rosalie finally got dressed and sat down at her desk. In a drawer, she found a little red notebook that her mother had given her a long time ago as a 'diary', but Rosalie just threw it in her desk drawers, uninterested at the time, but now this notebook might be something useful…

Rosalie flipped open to the first page and with a red pen she scrawled,

FAT. WORTHLESS. PIG. LOSE WEIGHT YOU FAT WHORE.

Satisfied, she closed her notebook for now. Soon she heard a knock on the door.

"Rosalie?" Olivia opened her daughter's door and walked in. "Are you hungry? I can make you anything you'd like?"

Rosalie shook her head. The last thing she wanted to do was eat.

"Do you want to talk then?" Olivia asked as she walked over to Rosalie's bed and sat down. Rosalie tried hard not to roll her eyes.

"Sweetheart, we really should talk about this. About everything. Please, please talk to me,"

Rosalie turned away and stood up, aiming to walk out of the room. Where she was going to go, she wasn't sure. She just wanted to be as far away from her mother as possible. Suddenly, Olivia stood up and cried,

"Goddamnit, Rosalie! Would you please just stop and talk to me!"

"Why should I?" Rosalie snapped back. "Everyday I came to the precinct and when I needed to talk to you, you were too busy or never there, so why should I talk to you now?"

"Rosalie you went through something incredibly traumatic…"

"Well, gee! Thanks for reminding me!" Rosalie interrupted angrily.

"…and I want to be here for you! I want to listen, I want to help you,"

"I don't need your help, and besides. Once I'm deemed "cured" in your eyes, you'll go back to work and forget I exist again so there is no point in you 'wanting to help' because you won't!" Rosalie was about to storm out of her room when Olivia dashed over and grabbed Rosalie's wrist to keep her from leaving.

"Rosalie please!" Olivia begged, but Rosalie immediately flashed back to when she was attacked.

"Please…stop," Rosalie wheezed as she tried to catch her breath.

"Oh, I'm not stopping. Not until I'm done with you and then…it's lights out baby,"

"GET OFF ME!" Rosalie screamed as she yanked away from Olivia and scrambled away from her. She ran out of her room and aimlessly ran to the bathroom down the hall, where she slammed the door and locked it. She slid down to the ground and tried to regain her breath as her mother pounded on the door outside.

"Rosalie?! Baby, I'm sorry! Please open the door!" Olivia cried, but Rosalie wasn't opening that door. She buried her face in her knees and started sobbing. She hated those her men. She hated her mom. But most of all, she hated herself.

When Rosalie heard her mother leave, like she knew she would, she stood up and walked over to the mirror where she cringed at her reflection. Her cheeks were stained with tears, her hair disheveled, the bruises and cuts more prominent. She was disgusting. Quickly she opened the mirror to grab some soap to wash her face but found a razor next to the soap. Normally she wouldn't think about it, but seeing the sharp silver gleam was almost tempting. She slowly grabbed the razor and stared at it in her hand.

"Do it…do it…do it…"

She sat down on the edge of the bathtub and rolled up the sleeves of her sweatshirt. A shiver of fear went down her back. She knew she shouldn't do it, but all she wanted relief and in her head, this was what she needed to do.

She placed the blade against her wrist, put slight pressure on it and slowly pulled it across her skin. She watched the blood drip down her wrist as tears trickled down her cheeks again. She felt like she was in control. Yet once she was done, she still felt worthless, useless, nothing. Broken.

A/N2: Wowie, another chapter so soon! Hope you all enjoyed it! Anyway, now we're getting into Rosalie's path of self-destruction. What will happen next?! Leave a review if you'd like and stay tuned for Chapter 9!