A/N 1: Including a TW here for mentions of eating disorder and self-harm thoughts and behaviors. Reader discretion is advised. Now here is Chapter 10!

Chapter 10:

The website Rosalie signed up for became her most favorite website to visit online. The information that was on the site was like a treasure trove on how to lose weight and to worship "Ana". She took every tip and trick to heart and as she implemented them into her life, she found that slowly but surely she was getting smaller. To her, Rosalie became a novice at making it look as though she was eating every meal, but in reality, she was eating very little. She would drink full glasses of water before every meal to feel more full and she would either hide food in her napkin or take bites but spit them into a dark-colored cup as she pretending to take a drink.

Exercising started slow due to her injuries, but as they healed, she added more strenuous workouts and by now she was regaining her strength and flexibility for gymnastics for the upcoming school year.

How she managed to evade her mother was a whole other story. Rosalie started pretending that everything was normal. She forced smiles and laughs and at night to stop herself from having nightmares, she would exercise until she was about to pass out from exhaustion. Her mother wasn't buying it in the beginning, but slowly she was starting to believe in Rosalie's lies. Yet Rosalie was not okay. Every day she struggled to keep up the persona of a 'normal' Rosalie. She was still feeling the effects of what happened to her. She felt so worthless and so disgusting, and even while she tried to regain some control through losing weight, she still couldn't shake the awful comments by the two men and the flashbacks of how they violated her. In the privacy of her room, she would cut herself with her trusty razor, slicing words like Garbage and Pig into her flesh. With the other cuts the men inflicted on her body, the words seemed to belong there. The worst part was at night. Sometimes, in between sit-ups, she would lie on her back and cry because even though she wasn't having nightmares, she still couldn't get the awful images and words out of her head. She felt so trapped and broken. All she wanted to do was die. Yet she was still here, and despite the depression and anxiety she felt every single day, she still believed firmly that if she lost weight, she would become perfect and normal again.

A month had passed and Rosalie was given the all-clear from her doctor. Her bruises and burns had faded and her cuts became scars. Her ribs were also healed. She still had to be careful with strenuous activity like running or gymnastics, but physically, she was good again. Rosalie was thrilled because now she could really make an effort with exercise and even start training again for gymnastics. The other part that made Rosalie thrilled, while also a little sad, was that her mother was going back to work full time at the precinct. She had to give her mother props, throughout the entire time that she was recovering from her attack, Olivia never left her side, working from home and only going to the precinct once for an extreme emergency, but by then, she was much better. Now that she has the all-clear though, her mother already broke the news that she was going to start working at the precinct again, but her hours were going to be different so she can balance being at home and at work. Rosalie nodded like an obedient daughter, but she knew that her mother's "plan" wasn't going to last. She'd make the effort at first, but slowly she would pull more and more away until everything is back to normal and Rosalie would basically never see her mother again. It hurt slightly, but yet Rosalie was thrilled. She could be alone to do whatever she wanted. She could not eat and exercise without having to put on a show for her mother.

When Rosalie got home from the doctor, she immediately went to her room and closed the door. The first thing she did was take off her clothes and take out the bundles of coins she stuck in her bra and underwear so that she weighed more when the doctor checked her height and weight. Her friends on the website recommended it as a 'just in case' so she could keep the facade up since Rosalie knew that she had lost weight since the last time she was weighed by a doctor. Rosalie then pulled out her scale from under her bed. It was originally in the bathroom but her mother never used it so it wasn't missed when Rosalie took it.

Rosalie got on the scale and beamed when she saw the number appear.

110 lbs.

She had lost 20 pounds since she started her weight loss plan! She certainly wasn't on the 'chubby' side like she was before, but she was far from perfect. On the website, she saw a chart that stated that the perfect weight for her height was 85 lbs so that became her ultimate goal weight. She was going to do anything and everything to make it to 85 lbs, no matter what happens.

Satisfied, Rosalie stepped off the scale and pushed it under her bed. After putting her clothes back on, she dashed to her computer and logged onto the website. In the forums, she posted:

DelicateRose says "20 pounds down! CW: 110. Next GW: 100. Nothing's going to stop me now! PS: the weights in my underwear worked! Fooled everyone. ;)"

Soon after she pressed submit, she received a bunch of comments:

Weigh2Go says "Amazing DelicateRose!"

AnaIsMyFriend says: "You are goals! Stay strong DelicateRose!"

x0x0AnaMiax0x0 says: "Congrats lovely! I knew you could do it!"

Rosalie beamed as her friends sent her such loving comments. They were what kept her going when she was tempted to eat or to give up on her goals. She was so happy she found the website when she did. They provided some comfort when Rosalie was feeling lonely and helpful advice when it was needed. Suddenly, she felt her stomach rumble. Her mother was rushing to get ready for the doctor's appointment, so she managed to throw away her breakfast when her mother wasn't looking. It was lunchtime but she wasn't going to ruin her day with food. She continued to explore the website to take her mind off of the hunger.

Meanwhile, Olivia was making lunch in the kitchen and deep in thought about today's doctor's appointment with Rosalie. Physically, Rosalie was stable and her injuries were healing, but Olivia was questioning Rosalie's mental health. There was something off about her daughter. Rosalie was making everything seem normal and okay but Olivia knew that Rosalie was struggling and uncomfortable with sharing her feelings with her. It hurt Olivia since she was Rosalie's mother and her own daughter didn't trust her. Yet she knew that she caused it by being so absent from her daughter's life. The other thing that Olivia noticed was how skinny Rosalie was becoming. She noticed how smaller she looked, how her clothes were becoming baggy, and how her bones were starting to show faintly in her face. Yet at the doctors, they said that Rosalie was a normal healthy weight and nothing seemed out of the ordinary. The last time Olivia mentioned seeing a therapist to Rosalie, it led to a screaming match and it immediately got pushed aside, but Olivia really felt that Rosalie needed to talk to someone if she wasn't going to talk to her. It would probably lead to more screaming, but at this point, she didn't care. She made it a plan to make an appointment for Rosalie and later bring up the subject again. She also planned to keep an eye on Rosalie during mealtimes. Something must be going on if Rosalie is looking thinner and she needed to make sure that nothing serious was going on.

After finishing with making lunch, she brought two plates of grilled chicken salad to the table and called for her daughter.

Rosalie jumped slightly at the sound of her name being called. She was so absorbed with her website that she completely lost track of time. She cringed, realizing that it was lunchtime, but she took a deep breath and held her head up high. She can get through another meal without eating. She was strong. She was going to achieve her goal. She shut her laptop and stood up from her desk. She made her way to the kitchen and tried to smile as she sat down at the table.

"Looks good, Mom!" Rosalie said when she looked down and saw the plate of food in front of her. She immediately began cutting the chicken into tiny pieces, remembering a tip she read on the website. Olivia at first dug into her own lunch, but after a couple of bites, she looked up and watched her daughter curiously, noticing how Rosalie was picking at her food. She continued staring until Rosalie looked up and noticed that her mother's eyes were glued to her.

"Is everything okay?" Rosalie asked slowly and Olivia immediately stopped staring.

"Yes, I'm just wondering if everything is okay with you," Olivia responded.

"Yeah, I'm not really that hungry," Rosalie shrugged.

"You have to eat Rosalie. Do you want me to make you something else?" Olivia asked and Rosalie knew that her mother wasn't going to let this slide so she took a tiny bite of chicken, lettuce, and tomato just for show.

"No, this is fine,"

Olivia opened her mouth to say something else but forced herself to close it, not wanting to cause a fight. She went back to eating her lunch but continued to watch Rosalie, noticing that she occasionally nibbled on the lettuce, but left behind the chicken and tomatoes.

Rosalie felt her mother's eyes burning into her and she immediately felt nervous, wondering if she was starting to catch on to her tricks. She prayed that her mother's phone would ring or someone would knock on the door because she needed some diversion. Lettuce was fine to eat for now, but she wasn't eating the chicken or the other salad fixings. That was extra calories and fat she didn't need.

Soon Olivia was finished with her lunch and Rosalie had barely made a dent in hers.

"Rosalie, you've barely touched your lunch. I don't know what has gotten into you lately, but you need to eat,"

"I have been eating Mom, I'm just not hungry," Rosalie shot back, gritting her teeth.

"You look like you're losing weight. I can see it in your face. The doctor said everything was okay, but I don't want to see you lose any more weight. You are a beautiful girl Rosalie…"

"Don't even go there, Mom. I don't want to hear it!" Rosalie snapped.

"What's that supposed to mean?!" Olivia exclaimed, almost shocked by that response.

"Forget it, just leave me alone!" Rosalie stood up sharply and hurried to her room, taking the opportunity to get out of the situation.

Before Olivia could say anything else or run after her, there was a knock on the door. She sighed, as she got up to answer. When she opened the door, she smiled when she saw John Munch standing outside.

"John! What a nice surprise!" Olivia greeted as she leaned in for a hug.

"Well, I am a man of surprises!" John responded with a smile as he hugged his fellow detective and friend. "I wanted to stop by and see how things are going with you and Rosalie,"

"There have been ups and downs. It's been…tough," Olivia sighed, before opening the door wider. "Come on in. We were just finishing lunch. Would you like anything?" Olivia said as she allowed the man inside.

"I'm good, thank you,"

The two adults made their way to the living room and as they sat on the couch, John asked.

"How's Rosalie been holding up?"

Olivia sighed and John knew that something was up.

"Day by day she's trying to move past what happened to her, but I know she is bottling her feelings inside and I keep trying to reach her and to be there, but she continues to push me away. Now I don't think she is eating well and she's losing weight! I tried everything…but I'm stuck," Olivia admitted. She didn't like to show any weakness, but at this point, she didn't know what to do anymore.

"It will take a while for her to heal Liv. It took a while for you to heal after what happened with both Harris and Lewis," John said and Olivia nodded, cringing as the awful memories crept into her mind. "Is Rosalie seeing someone right now to help?"

"I mentioned having her go to a psychiatrist and she freaked out. This time I'm going to push for it because if she won't talk to me, then she'll have to talk to a doctor. John, I wish I could turn back time and fix all the mistakes I made with Rosalie. I want her to trust me…it's just so hard,"

Now it was John's turn to sigh, but he elected not to say anything. What's done is done. You can only go forward and it's what Olivia had to do.

"Anyway, anything on William Lewis?" Olivia changed the subject, while also lowering her voice.

"Nothing. He's completely off the radar. Could have left the state or even the country. It looks like we won't know…unless he decides to strike again, but I hope he realizes that New York is going to take him out if he is caught," John also lowered his voice as he explained to the detective what was happening with that case.

Meanwhile, Rosalie had cracked open her bedroom door and pressed her ear against it when she heard that her 'Uncle' had shown up to the apartment. She listened to the conversation between him and her mother, and she felt pain in her heart. Her mother didn't outright say it, but Rosalie construed the conversation that she was a burden and that she was 'difficult'. Immediately the voices in her head screamed that she was worthless and a waste of space. The worst part, she knew the adults were trying to be quiet, but she still heard them. Will was still alive and he could come back, which brought back the painful flashbacks the young girl was trying so hard to forget. Rosalie couldn't take it. With the negative emotions she was feeling, all she wanted was to be numb. She was just about to run to her desk and grab her razor when she heard two phones ringing.

Olivia and John pulled out their phones and answered. The precinct may have found a lead on William Lewis' location and they needed all hands on deck. Both detectives hung up and Olivia was about to get ready when John stopped her.

"Liv, stay with Rosalie. We'll keep you in the loop and I'm sure Captain will send some cops to watch over your apartment just in case," John said and Olivia nodded. William Lewis could absolutely come by the apartment, so she needed to keep Rosalie safe. Besides, now she could get to the bottom of Rosalie not eating her lunch before. The detectives said their goodbyes and soon John was on his way back to the precinct. Olivia closed and locked the front door. She turned around with the intention of going to Rosalie's room but saw that her daughter was already standing behind her, a terrified expression on her face.

"I heard…is it true?" Rosalie asked in a shaky voice.

"Yes…William Lewis got away before we could catch him that day," Olivia said sadly and quickly Rosalie's attitude changed.

"Some detectives you all are! He's going to come back, I know it and you know it!" Rosalie snapped and Olivia had to agree as much as it hurt her to think that.

"Baby I promise you, I won't let him hurt you again. I will do everything…"

"Save it!" Rosalie interjected and stormed back to her room and slammed the door. She knew she shouldn't have snapped at her mother, but at the same time, she was scared. What if Will returned? She knew he would hurt her all over again, maybe even kill her. Rosalie wanted to scream, but instead, she remembered her razor. She knew that this was becoming a dangerous habit, but she didn't care anymore. All she needed was the relief and that razor was going to give it to her.

A/N 2: Hello again folks...I do hope there are people reading this story haha. Anyway, I'm now working full time so that's why you haven't heard from me in a while. I accidentally triggered myself by watching Starving in Suburbia last night so now I'm feeling motivated to keep this story going. I'll post Chapter 11 tonight to make it up to you. ;)

Thanks to the people who followed/favorited the story! I hope you are enjoying it so far. A lot of serious stuff is happening now. Will William Lewis make another appearance!? Leave a review if you'd like and stay tuned for Chapter 11!