A/N 1: Including a TW here for mentions of eating disorder thoughts and behaviors. Reader discretion is advised. Now here is Chapter 12!

Chapter 12:

Rosalie woke up alone in the cribs the next morning. Her mother must have gotten up early to get some work done. As she got up from the rather uncomfortable cot, she realized that there was no scale here which meant she couldn't do her daily weigh-in. It immediately filled her with anxiety since she always checked and now she won't know if she was still losing weight. She tried to push past it and get her day going, but the thought still irked her.

Rosalie went to the bathroom and pulled off her t-shirt and sweats. As she slipped on her new leotard and couldn't help but admire how thinner her body looked, but it wasn't enough. She needed to be smaller, daintier. Gymnasts needed to be that way to succeed. Her stomach was growling more than ever, but Rosalie chose to ignore it. She went an entire day without eating yesterday. She wanted to do it again today.

Since she didn't have another set of clothes, she put on yesterday's yoga pants and a long-sleeved t-shirt. She hoped it wouldn't be too noticeable when she went to practice. She was finishing tying her hair into a ponytail when her mother came in.

"Good morning sweetheart. I hope you were able to sleep okay," Olivia greeted.

"Good morning Mom. Yes, I was okay," Rosalie responded, forcing on a small smile.

Olivia tried to smile, but it didn't come out right. Her mind seemed to be filled to the brim with worry. Anything else was bogged down. She needed to remain strong for her daughter though. No question about it.

Once ready, the two Benson ladies made their way to the main precinct floor. There were bagels waiting for them, and Rosalie was quick to take one only to throw it away when no one was looking. The sights of the precinct were all too familiar to Rosalie. Everyone scrambling about, phones ringing off the hook, and orders being barked around. It was almost overwhelming to the young girl.

"We can stop by the apartment before we go to the school, is that okay with you?" Olivia mentioned to her daughter and Rosalie was quick to nod in total agreement. She was about ready to run out of the precinct all together, but Olivia held her back since this entire ordeal had to be seriously choreographed. The two Benson ladies were first escorted out through a different exit by two armed and uniformed officers and lead to a car where they sat in the backseat while the officers were in the front. Rosalie felt like she was a celebrity hiding from paparazzi. Once they got to the apartment, it had to be swept by the officers before the two were able to go inside. Rosalie quickly zoomed about in her room, grabbing her computer, journals, extra clothes, toiletries, and anything else she could grab. She also found her razors and slipped that into a secret pocket in her bag. Finally, there was her beloved scale, but she couldn't take it with her. Quickly, she tore off her clothes and jumped onto the scale. The number should be accurate since she skipped breakfast.

98.7 lbs

Rosalie nearly screamed. She was under 100 pounds! She was getting closer and closer to her goal weight and it was an amazing feeling!

"Rosalie, are you almost done?" She heard her mother call.

"Almost!" Rosalie called back as she hurried to get her clothes back on. She tucked her scale under her bed and soon met her mother by the door. They were escorted once again to the car and the next stop was Kingsbury Academy. Rosalie prayed that no one would see her since to her this was social suicide, but thankfully there was no one outside when they pulled up to the building. Olivia had to go with Rosalie inside because she had to speak with Coach Burnside about everything, but thankfully they went in separate directions so Rosalie was able to enter the locker room alone. Once again the girls basically ignored her, but one freshman did saunter over and whispered,

"How do you do it?"

"Do what?" Rosalie asked.

"Get skinny. Tell me your secret!"

Rosalie tried to come up with an answer but Coach Burnside entered and yelled for the girls to come out to begin warmups. As Rosalie came out, Coach Burnside pulled her aside and said,

"Your mother spoke to me just now. I'm sure you know of the arrangements starting now. This doesn't mean I'll be treating you any differently. You are expected to work, got it?"

"Yes, Coach!" Rosalie responded.

"Good, now go warm up!"

By the evening, Rosalie felt like she was flying. She could continue practicing all through the night if possible. She felt like her floor and beam routines were getting better and she continued to receive good praise from Coach Burnside. Yet what made her the happiest, was the fact that she nearing the end of the day and she still hadn't had anything to eat. Sure she was hungry and watching the other girls eating at lunch made her wish she could join in, but she felt strong and in control.

Suddenly, she was brought back to reality by the sound of Coach Burnside's whistle.

"ALRIGHT GIRLS, that's enough for today. I suggest that some of you should do some stretching before bed because, for the love of God, your flexibility is still lacking! You have to take this seriously! See you all bright and early tomorrow for the mother of all practices, and you better believe it!"

Everyone hurried away, muttering under their breaths. Rosalie started to go when Coach Burnside stopped her.

"Benson, come help me put away the mats,"

Rosalie immediately went over to help but was stopped by a certain snotty voice.

"Um Coach Burnside, I'm always the one that helps you put away the mats…" Chenille interjected, sounding almost a little desperate.

"I know Ms. O'Brien, but today I'm having Benson help me. Besides, if you really want to help me, I think you need to work on your posture at home quite frankly. We don't want little hunchbacks on our team now do we?"

Chenille nearly gasped at the comment and even Rosalie felt like that comment was extra harsh. Chenille obviously nodded and tried to save face in front of the coach, but if looks could kill, Rosalie would have been obliterated with the glare that was thrown at her. After Chenille stormed off, Rosalie returned to helping Coach Burnside who in turn, provided some helpful advice in a typical "Coach Burnside" manner. As soon as they were done, Rosalie hurried to the locker room to change. She was heading to her locker when she suddenly felt someone grab her arm.

"Listen here you little bitch, if you think you can waltz in here and take over my spot as Coach's favorite, you are sorely mistaken," Chenille hissed as she dug her fingernails into Rosalie's arm.

Rosalie didn't know what to say. She yelped as Chenille's fingernails dug in deeper.

"I know what you are doing too. I saw you skip lunch, just like yesterday. You don't go from large to small that quickly. You know how Coach feels about eating disorders, right Rose?"

Rosalie was terrified, but she managed to choke out,

"I don't know what you are talking about,"

Chenille laughed, but it was devoid of any humor. It was pure malice.

"You're too funny Rose…but you can't fool me. I'm going to-"

"Benson? What's taking so long!?" Coach Burnside yelled from the gym. Chenille quickly let go of Rosalie's arm.

"I suggest you quit hogging the spotlight, Rose. Know your place on this team or else," Chenille snarled before hurrying out of the locker room.

Rosalie stood there in stunned silence. She thought that Chenille didn't scare her anymore but at this moment, she was wrong. Chenille was freaking serious and Rosalie was terrified that everything that she has done so far would be destroyed if Chenille told Coach that she wasn't eating. What could she do!?

Quickly Rosalie changed into her normal street clothes and hurried to get back to Coach Burnside. She obviously forced on a smile and pretended everything was normal around her, but inside, Rosalie was thinking. She needed to make sure that Chenille doesn't ruin everything she has worked so hard for and what she had in mind was awful. Something she would never dream of…but the old Rosalie was gone. No more goody two shoes, shy Rosalie. This Rosalie wasn't letting anyone step all over her anymore. Chenille was going down, no matter the consequences.

Rosalie entered the 16th Precinct and her heart sunk when she saw the box of pizza on Fin's desk and all the detectives enjoying a slice. How the hell was she going to get out of this one?

"You made it just in time Munchkin! Grab a slice!" Munch called from his desk.

Rosalie's mind was spinning. The smell was absolutely tempting. The gooey cheese seemed to beckon her but at the same time, all she could hear were voices telling her to stay away.

"Imagine all those calories! Do you really want to eat that?"

"Fat fat fat PIG!"

"Um actually, I already had pizza today. Coach Burnside bought it for us," Rosalie managed to say without stuttering.

"What's one more slice?" Amanda said in between bites. "You must have worked hard in practice today. Aren't you hungry?"

'Yes…starving!' Rosalie thought, but quickly responded with:

"Maybe later…I'm really tired, I'm going to go lie down,"

Rosalie nearly ran to the safety of the cribs. She prayed that no one followed her and brought the pizza with them. Her stomach growled even louder than before and her head started to pound. Everything was starting to catch up to her, she should really eat something now.

"No! You are so close to making it to two days without eating. Don't give up now!"

Rosalie groaned as she flopped onto the hard cot. She was getting mixed messages in her head and all she wanted was silence.

"Rosalie? Is everything okay?"

Rosalie looked up and saw her mother in the doorway.

"Never better, why?" Rosalie answered, but she didn't bother to sound convincing.

"Everyone was concerned when you didn't have some pizza and so am I to be honest. You've never passed on pizza before. Is this because of gymnastics? Is that why you haven't been eating lately?"

"I have been eating Mom!" Rosalie snapped. "Plus we had pizza for lunch. I didn't want any more. You can tell everyone to quit worrying about me because I'm fine!"

"There's no need for the attitude, young lady. Keep it up and I'll pull you out of gymnastics. Especially if you're not eating right,"

"But I'm eating Mom!"

"Prove it," Olivia said simply before presenting a protein bar in front of Rosalie. "If you won't eat pizza, then I want you to eat this in front of me,"

Rosalie tried hard to not show her fear as she took the bar from her mother. She couldn't help but make a face though when she saw the calorie and fat count. She needed to come up with excuses and fast.

"But Mom, you know I don't like mint flavored things!"

"Bullshit, you love mint chocolate chip ice cream and you used to eat these bars all the time!"

"Maybe I don't any more! Also, I have a raging headache,"

"That's from not eating,"

"I DO EAT!" Rosalie nearly screamed.

"Then eat this! Or a slice of pizza. I don't care, just eat something!"

"I'm. Not. Hungry." Rosalie snarled.

"Goddamn it Rosalie, enough! Just eat the damn protein bar," Olivia said angrily. The two Benson ladies stared each other down, unmoving. It was a battle of wits and neither seemed to be winning. Eventually, Olivia huffed in frustration and said,

"Fine…but you will be eating breakfast tomorrow and I may ask your Coach to keep an eye on you during lunch,"

"You don't need to do that! That's not fair!" Rosalie whined. "Why can't you believe me! You always did!"

"Yes Rosalie, I did, but now I'm worried about you and I need to make sure that you are healthy. I think you are still struggling with what happened to you and…"

"I'm FINE!" Rosalie screeched, not caring about anyone else listening. "Will you just stop! I was fine before and I'm fine now. I don't need you suddenly in my business and acting like a mother because you need to save face with everyone else. Go be the 'amazing Detective Olivia Benson' and stay out of my life!"

Rosalie started to storm out of the cribs but was stopped by a stunned and almost infuriated Olivia from leaving.

"Rosalie I know I made mistakes with raising you. I know I wasn't around when you needed me and I will never forgive myself for that, but I'm not going to let you storm out again. We need to sit and talk about this once and for all. I'm not going to let you treat me like this!"

"I don't want to talk about this and I don't want to talk to you! Aren't you supposed to be finding…HIM…right now?" Rosalie couldn't bring herself to say William Lewis' name, but Olivia knew exactly what she was referring to.

"I can't be on the case because you are my daughter. It is a conflict of interest, and you know that,"

"He's out there and nobody is doing jack shit!" Rosalie cried. Soon the flashbacks from the horrible basement crept in her mind and she shook her head. "I don't want to talk about this either! GOD WHY WON'T YOU JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!"

Rosalie dodged past her mother and stormed out of the cribs, slamming the door behind her. She had nowhere to go since she couldn't leave the precinct but she needed to get away from her mother and from anyone else in the precinct if possible. The roof was the safest bet. After dashing up some stairs, she flung open the door to the roof and was greeted by the cool evening breeze. Immediately she felt calmer, although her head seemed to hurt more now than before. She looked down and noticed the protein bar her mother had given her was still in her hand. Even though she tried to convince herself that she hates mint-flavored food, the protein bar still looking tempting.

'Maybe a quarter of the bar won't be bad…' Rosalie thought, but quickly that idea went out the window.

'NO NO NO! Don't eat it!'

Rosalie threw the bar with all her might and watched it sail off the roof and down into the city streets.

'Good…good girl,'

Rosalie wanted to smile and feel good about what she did, yet she felt awful. She was just so hungry, all she wanted to do was eat…but every fiber of her being wouldn't let her. This seemed wrong, what the hell was she even doing?

But then she thought about gymnastics. The small-sized uniform. The praise from Coach Burnside. The jealous looks from her teammates. The weight that she has lost so far. She couldn't give up now. She was finally starting to get somewhere and if she ate, then it could all go away and she would be back to where she started. Quiet, useless, worthless Rosalie. Rosalie shook her head and did her best to ignore her headache and growling stomach. She was doing the right thing…she had to be! Was she?

Rosalie barely remembered going back to the cribs that night and going to bed. The minute she woke up, she was greeted with a splitting headache. Worse than last night. It took every ounce of strength to get up and get dressed. By the end, she was back to sitting on her cot, holding her head in her hands. Was this headache caused by not eating for two days straight? She could barely even think about it.

After some time, Rosalie forced herself to get up and to leave the cribs. She expected to see her mother at her desk, waiting for her, but instead, she entered into an empty precinct. Where was everyone? Rosalie felt herself stumble and grabbed onto the nearest desk to stay upright.

'Jesus Christ, what is wrong with me?!' She thought.

Lost in her thoughts, she didn't see her 'Uncle' Munch come out from an interrogation room and head towards her.

"Rosalie? Rosalie?" John gently shook his 'niece' who clearly looked unwell. It took a couple of tries before Rosalie snapped out of it.

"What the…what?"

"Rosalie, come sit down," John led her to his desk and grabbed an extra chair for her to sit on. "I'd ask if you were okay, but clearly you've been better,"

"I'm f-fine," Rosalie managed to say.

"I'm getting your mother," John stated but Rosalie was quick to grab his arm.

"NO! I don't need her…where is she anyway?"

"Interrogation room 1. This is Amanda's case but she and your mother are double teaming it. This perp's tough, but he'll crumble soon enough,"

Rosalie nodded before wincing.

"What hurts?" John asked gently, taking his 'niece's' hand in his.

"Head,"

"Maybe this will help," John got up and grabbed a Starbucks bag off of Olivia's desk. "Your mom got this for you. She wants to make sure you eat whatever's in there,"

Rosalie held back a groan as she opened the bag and pulled out the contents. It was an Oatmeal with all the toppings included. Immediately it felt like Rosalie had snapped out of her stupor as she calculated and recalculated the calorie count of the meal.

"She knows I hate oatmeal though…" Rosalie whined and John couldn't help but chuckle.

"It's not that bad. I can't think of any conspiracies with oatmeal so you're safe for now!"

Rosalie rolled her eyes, but this didn't change the fact that she was expected to eat the gross oatmeal now or risk her secret coming out. She sighed and chose her next words to her 'Uncle' very carefully.

"I have such a splitting headache. It feels like a migraine almost. I don't think I can eat this right now. I know my mom wants me to, but I…can't,"

Not a total lie…she hoped he bought it.

"Just try? Your mother has been worrying nonstop about your health and wellbeing, so it's probably best to at least eat a little bit. I know you can do that,"

Rosalie wanted to scream and fight, but she bit her tongue and tried to remain calm. She slowly opened the container and immediately she battled internally between shoveling the food down her throat and throwing it against a wall.

"Ugh, I HATE raisins!" Rosalie blurted out as soon as she saw that the oatmeal already had them mixed in.

"You're not wrong with that. Raisins are gross," John responded.

"She doesn't know anything about what I like," Rosalie griped as she stirred the oatmeal with her spoon.

"Ah, the teenage years! Oh the angst, oh the drama!" John said dramatically and Rosalie gave him a glare. She continued to stir the oatmeal, unable to bring herself to actually eat the gooey substance, although the smell of brown sugar now permeated throughout the precinct. Maybe just one bite…

Suddenly there were sounds of crashing and John immediately jumped up from his desk. He hurried towards the sound and immediately once his back was turned, Rosalie dumped the majority of the oatmeal into the nearest trash can and covered it with napkins and the Starbucks bag. Thank God for the distraction!

When John came back to his desk, he saw Rosalie dabbing the corners of her mouth with a napkin and saw that the oatmeal was nearly done.

"Well jeez…you must have been hungry!"

"Yeah, don't know what came over me," Rosalie added, forcing a sweet smile on her face.

"Well, at least you ate it. Your mother shouldn't complain now,"

"Speaking of which…"

"She's fine. Amanda grabbed a chair and whipped it at the wall to try and scare this guy. It may have worked, he looked ready to cry,"

Rosalie forced a laugh before standing up, but because she did it too quickly, she was caught in a dizzy spell.

"Maybe you shouldn't go to gymnastics today. You should stay here and rest up,"

"Uncle Munch, I'm fine. I have to go, everyone is counting on me," Once Rosalie overcame the spell, she made her way over to main doors of the precinct to meet up with the officer that was going to drive her to the school since her mother was busy. As John watched her go, he now understood why Olivia was getting worked up of Rosalie's health. Something wasn't right and he needed to get to the bottom of this.

A/N 2: Hello again folks. Thank you to those who have followed me, favorited my stories, or left a review. It is greatly appreciated. :)

I hope you all are enjoying the story so far. Leave a review if you'd like and stay tuned for Chapter 13!