A/N 1: Including a TW here for mentions of eating disorder/self harm thoughts and behaviors. Reader discretion is advised. Now here is Chapter 14!

Chapter 14:

Rosalie paced around the precinct bathroom, in a panicked state. She didn't intend to really eat an egg and cheese sandwich, but it looked so good and her mother was watching. She ended up eating the entire sandwich which certainly put her mother at ease, but now the sandwich was a pit in her stomach. All that fat, grease, and garbage.

She needed to get rid of it.

She ran into the nearest stall and stuck her fingers down her throat. The entire process was painful because it wasn't easy to throw up a sandwich smoothly. She did her best until she couldn't do it anymore. She coughed a few times and it only made her throat hurt even more. Tears brimmed in her eyes and she couldn't stop shaking. She hated this. She hated that she had to do that, but it felt like her entire body and mind was against her. She tried to shake it off and convince herself that she was 'getting skinny' and that it will all work out in the end, but she just couldn't. She wished she had someone to talk to that wasn't her mom or any of the detectives. She wished that she could talk to the Pro-Ana friends that she hadn't spoken with since she starting living in the precinct. It just wasn't fucking fair.

Rosalie needed to escape. She had no idea where she wanted to go, but anywhere but the precinct was fine with her. Maybe she could go for a run? It could help with the racing thoughts in Rosalie's mind. It could also help get rid of the calories she couldn't purge. Now that the idea was in Rosalie's head, nothing was going to change her mind. After flushing the toilet and making sure that no evidence was left behind of what she did, she snuck out of the bathroom and quietly made her way to the cribs. She pulled out a clean pair of workout leggings and a long-sleeved t-shirt and put them on. She slid on her sneakers and tied her hair in a ponytail. She noticed that a lot of her hair was left behind on the hairbrush, but it didn't phase her. She was dead-set of getting out of this precinct and going for a run.

She crept out of the cribs and saw that the precinct was quiet. She knew her mother and the other detectives were conducting interviews for a recent case so no one was really paying attention to her.

'They are better off anyway…' Rosalie thought sadly. She shook the sadness away though and hurried out of the precinct. Once she was outside, the evening breeze immediately made her shiver. She began to run, hoping that she would warm up eventually. She reached a small park where she continued to run, this time passing other joggers and bike riders getting in an evening workout before it got too dark. At one point she felt slightly dizzy, but pushed passed it and just kept going.

Soon she was feeling sharp pains in her sides and the dizziness seemed to get worse, but she tried to push through it and run faster, but at one point, she couldn't do it anymore.

She stopped but in one second, Rosalie's vision blurred before going completely dark as she lost her footing and fell onto the concrete.

Rosalie heard a noise…a voice…someone talking to her. She felt something brush her cheek and she cracked her eyes open. There were people around her and one woman kneeled beside her. Rosalie blinked a few times and once her senses returned, she realized what happened…

'Oh SHIT' Rosalie silently cursed as she attempted to get up, but she felt a hand on her chest.

"Whoa whoa, hold on sweetie. Are you okay?" The woman said in a calm and kind voice.

"I'm fine…" Rosalie quickly responded and tried to get up once more, but again she was stopped.

"Not so fast sweetie. Help is coming,"

Rosalie immediately froze when she heard that. She needed to get away and FAST.

"I don't need help! Please, I'll be fine," Rosalie begged as she attempted to stand.

"No, you are not fine!" Now everyone was trying to keep Rosalie in place and now she was panicking.

"Thank you all, but I really need to go," Rosalie stumbled and everyone lunged forward to catch her in case she fell.

"You could be hurt, please don't do this. An ambulance will be coming soon…" the woman tried once more, but Rosalie swatted her hands away.

"Leave me alone!" Rosalie cried before pushing past the crowd and broke into a run. She heard loud yells for her to come back, but she forced herself to keep running until she was out of the park and back to the precinct. She lost her footing on the stairs and fell hard. Rosalie yowled in pain as her knees and hands stung from scraping the pavement. She ended up sitting on the precinct stairs for a while, waiting for the pain to subside along with waiting for headache and dizziness to go away. She couldn't believe that she passed out at the park. How mortifying! She never did that before. It was a close call though. Rosalie couldn't help but feel happy that she was able to get away before the ambulance came. She did hear faint sirens but it was mixed with your normal NYC sounds. It was probably for something else.

Rosalie eventually forced herself to stand and she limped her way inside the precinct. She noticed that it was still quiet, like when she left. She breathed a sigh of relief and was about to make it back to the cribs when all of a sudden, she felt a hand grab her shoulder.

"Well look who's back?"

Rosalie nearly screamed as she flipped around and came face to face with John Munch. Even though it was just her 'Uncle', her blood still ran cold. He knew she had left…

"Come with me," he ordered, but Rosalie didn't need to follow him since he was practically dragging her to the closest interrogation room. It happened to be the one where all the toys and games for the little kids were. Rosalie rolled her eyes as her 'Uncle' closed the door and gestured for her to take a seat.

"Where've you been?" John said simply and it took Rosalie a minute for his question to hit her. She knew she couldn't get out of this, but still tried her luck.

"I just needed some fresh air. It was getting stuffy and uncomfortable in here. I didn't leave the precinct. I was just standing outside,"

John knew she was lying. When he came out from an interrogation room and saw that Rosalie was not by Olivia's desk or in the cribs, he knew she snuck out. Thankfully five minutes later, Rosalie had returned, but he still needed to find out where she went and was willing to bring Olivia into this if Rosalie continued to lie to him.

"That's fair, but you were not just standing outside. You left the premises. Don't even try and come up with an excuse for that. How long were you gone and where did you go?"

Rosalie opened her mouth but then closed it. She wracked her brain to try and come up with an answer but then thought better of it. She took a deep breath and admitted,

"I went to a park by the precinct and obviously came back. It was probably…30 minutes, 45 tops?"

"You know damn well you aren't supposed to leave the precinct! What if William Lewis was out for you? He probably was and you were so goddamn lucky that your paths didn't cross!"

Rosalie cringed when she heard Will's name.

"Rosalie, what the hell is going on with you? You never disobey orders from us. That along with your health, you are out of control,"

"I am NOT out of control!" Rosalie snapped, standing up. "You don't know what you are talking about. I'm fine!"

"Bullshit! You can say that all you want, but I know that you are struggling and we want to help you…"

"God, you sound just like my mother. I don't need anyone's help. Not from you, not from my mom, not from anyone here! Everyone needs to leave me alone!"

"Munchkin…"

"Don't Munchkin me, John!" Rosalie snapped and immediately she could see in John's eyes that she hurt him by using his first name rather than 'Uncle Munch'. "Please for the love of God, I don't need this right now!"

"Rosalie, I wasn't planning on telling your mother about this, but maybe I should. This isn't you. This isn't the Rosalie that I know," John spoke in a softer tone as he tried to approach Rosalie slowly.

"Well, maybe this is the new Rosalie because the old one is dead! Now let me out of here!" Rosalie hurried to the door to escape, but suddenly another dizzy spell came over her. She felt her knees buckle, but was quickly caught by John.

"Whoa, Rosalie! What the hell was that?!"

"I'm fine…"

"No, you are not! Stop saying you are fine! Now come over here and sit back down," John brought Rosalie back over to the chairs they were sitting in, and a defeated Rosalie didn't fight him as she sat down again.

"Let me get you some water or juice. Are you hungry?" John asked and Rosalie shook her head at the mention of hunger.

"Uncle Munch…"

"Aha! I knew we had some juice boxes in here from last time!" John pulled out a case of those small Juicy Juice boxes and took one out to give to Rosalie. It was Apple flavored.

'Apple Juice: 60 calories'

Rosalie tried to give back the juice box. Sure it was under 100 calories, but she didn't want it. The sugar content was far too high.

"Rosalie, come on! It's apple juice. It's not going to kill you,"

"I don't need it,"

"Well, what do you need? Don't you dare say it's to be alone because that's not happening,"

Rosalie couldn't figure out what to say next. She stammered for a bit before slumping over in her chair. John knelt down in front of her and took her hands in his. Immediately he noticed how cold her hands were and how her fingernails seemed to be tinged blue.

"Rosalie…please stop fighting. You can't keep this up forever. Just talk to me or at least have some juice. I'm here for you,"

With that, Rosalie broke. Tears streamed down her face as she tried to hold back the sobs that tried to come out. She launched herself into her 'Uncle's' arms and he held her tightly as she buried her face in his shoulder.

"Oh, sweetheart…" was all John could say as he held the shaking and sobbing girl in his arms. He hadn't intended to make her cry but he hoped that maybe now she would let him in on what's been going on.

They stayed in the same position until Rosalie was able to recompose herself. She pulled away so that she was staring at her 'Uncle' and in that moment, she was ready to tell him everything…but before she could say a word, the door flung open. It was her mother.

"There you two are! I was…Rosalie? Are you okay?"

Immediate panic washed over Rosalie and the guard she had started to let down, went straight back up.

"Liv, Rosalie and I were talking privately," John tried to intervene.

"You've been crying. What happened? John, what happened?" Olivia tried to push herself into the moment. This was her daughter, she needed to be there for her.

"Liv, PLEASE," John raised his voice, angry that Olivia was doing this.

"John, she's my daughter! I need to know what's wrong!"

As the adults bickered, Rosalie slipped away and ran out of the room. No one called or ran after her. She almost wanted someone to notice her this time…

She went down to the cribs and dug through her bag. She needed her razor. She needed this pain.

"Olivia, I can't believe you just did that! Rosalie and I were having a private conversation. What the hell is your problem?!" John snapped when he realized that Rosalie had slipped out of the room.

"Well, why is she having a private conversation with you instead of me?!" Olivia snapped back, defensively.

"Have you forgotten that Rosalie is my adopted niece? She has always felt comfortable talking to me, and she was just about to tell me something when you came barging in,"

"You have no right to talk to me like that! I'm her mother!"

"I know that Olivia, you don't need to remind me, but you act as though you two are super close when that is the furthest thing from the truth and you know it!"

"How dare you…" Olivia growled.

"Olivia, prior to what happened to her, you were always too busy for Rosalie so she came to me with everything that was on her mind. I actually have a relationship with her and you can lie to yourself all you want, but it's going to take time and a hell of a lot more attention before she can feel the same with you,"

"I'm trying John, I'm doing the best I can!"

"Doesn't seem like it to me,"

"You know what John? Fuck you! I don't need you judging me, making me feel like a bad mother. I am going to be the mother Rosalie needs. Now I suggest you leave my daughter alone. If she needs to talk to someone, she can talk to me," Olivia snarled before turning on her heel and leaving the room.

"Are you fucking kidding me?!" John yelled as he followed behind her. He was absolutely livid. "You can't just tell me to leave Rosalie alone!"

"I just did!" Olivia yelled back which sent Cragen out of his office to reprimand his two detectives for yelling in the middle of the precinct. It certainly made them stop yelling, but the angry feelings remained on both sides. John sat back at his desk and shuffled through paperwork trying to take his mind off of what happened, but he still thought about his 'niece' and he hoped that the next time he could talk to Rosalie, they could pick up where they left off.

Olivia stormed down to the cribs but stopped when she saw her daughter curled in a ball on her bed.

"Rosalie? Baby are you okay?" Olivia asked worriedly.

"Yeah, Mom…" Rosalie responded, her voice barely above a whisper.

"You don't sound okay at all. What happened?" Olivia sat on the edge of the bed and began to gently stroke her daughter's hair. She noticed that Rosalie was slightly trembling and almost bone-white pale.

"I'm really tired Mom. I just want to go to sleep,"

"You don't look well at all. Please tell me what's wrong,"

"It doesn't matter…" Rosalie whispered, but so softly that Olivia couldn't make out what she said.

"What did you say?"

Silence.

Olivia watched as her daughter slept fitfully. Every alarm went off and all she wanted was to shake her daughter awake and make her talk. In the end, she decided to let her daughter sleep. She laid down next to Rosalie on the bed and wrapped her arms around her. It felt different holding her daughter…she seemed to be withering away, she felt so much smaller than normal. It definitely looked and felt like Rosalie lost a lot of weight.

"Oh, Rosalie…baby what are you doing to yourself?" Olivia said softly as she thought things over and planned what she needed to say and do in the morning. Eventually, she fell asleep and while both Benson ladies were curled together, neither slept in peace.

A/N 2: Hello again folks. Another chapter for anyone who is still reading this story. At this point, this is almost a piece that just expresses my feelings if I'm feeling down. Obviously I want this to be a good story so I will keep working on it, but part of me is starting to become stuck. Maybe this is where the detectives start to catch on to Rosalie's behavior...or perhaps we'll see another threatening letter or appearance from William Lewis. Does anyone have any input? I'd be happy to hear it.

Anyway, I hope you all are enjoying the story so far. Leave a review if you'd like and stay tuned for Chapter 15!