Steve wasn't sure how he felt about landing on a planet that looked like it might fall apart at any moment, so he was relieved when the Ravagers escorted them instead to a dock at one of several wheel-shaped orbiting stations. An iris-like airlock door slid open to admit them, and Steve very carefully guided the Leviathan through it and into the chamber beyond. With the mouth of the vessel still welded shut, they disembarked using the scooters, which they parked hovering just off the ground between the Leviathan and the Ravager vessel next door.
The port was immense, forming the entire outer ring of the space station, and held ships of every possible size and description. They ranged from the sleek golden Ravager ship to the spiny and organic-looking Leviathan. There were ships too big to come in, which were connected to the airlocks by long tubes, and there was a matte-blue contraption no bigger than a Volkswagen bus, crewed by what looked like shiny red beetles the size of squirrels.
Steve should probably have been shocked by all this, he thought. Here were more – and a greater variety of – aliens than he'd ever imagined meeting. The actors were staring, some of them with their mouths wide open. Steve himself, however, was mostly just tired.
The Ravager captain met them on the dock and looked them over, a smile on his face. Was it just the way the light glinted on his pearly skin that made it look slightly mean? "Seems to me," he said, "that the first thing you folks need is a doctor."
"That would be nice," said Steve. There probably wasn't much anyone could do for his ankle after he'd insisted on using it for a few days, but he had plenty of other bumps and scrapes that could stand to feel better.
"A meal would be appreciated as well," said Thor, an arm still around Loki. Loki was more or less on his feet now, but didn't seem entirely aware of his surroundings, and had not yet said anything intelligible. "And my brother needs rest."
"I ain't your travel agent," said the pearly captain. "But follow me, I got a friend who can help you."
Science fiction movies liked to make the insides of space stations all sleek and white and shiny, like Stark's old house in Malibu. This one looked more like the utility tunnels under the Johnson Space Center. There were visible wires and pipes in the walls, and while the floors had tiles and the ceilings had panels, both were frequently missing. Things leaked and dripped and hissed, and Steve began to wonder if they wouldn't have been better off on the planet after all.
The pearly captain led the way, with Hemsworth, Hiddleston, and Evans as the most intimidating of the group right behind him. Thor was helping Loki along, and Steve, leaning on Natasha and Johansson again, brought up the rear. Loki was trying to walk, but his feet were clumsy and if not for Thor he would have fallen on his face repeatedly.
"How's he doing?" Steve asked.
"He seems much improved," said Thor. "I find myself remembering when we were younger, and he would play sick, sometimes very convincingly, to avoid attending Father's political functions."
"I am trying to save my energy," Loki spoke up, his voice still a rasp. "This body has a very limited capacity for tapping into the ambient magical energy of the universe. I had to draw on its own supply and drained it nearly dry. Probably comes of living in a world with no magic at all."
"Aarflot!" the pearly captain called out. "Aarflot, there you are!"
"Nacre!" another voice boomed in reply.
They had entered an area of the space station that seemed to be a hallway lined on both sides with what appeared to be buildings hanging from the ceiling. Underneath them was a long trough of dark liquid, with machinery visible under the surface. Flights of metal stairs led down from the buildings to the walkway, and coming down one of these was a seven-foot humanoid, enormously fat with a bright pink face and a little fringe of white hair around the top of its otherwise bald head, like a monk's tonsure. There was more short white fur on the backs of its hands and the tops of its feet, but its palms and toes were bare, as was its pink belly, protruding from under its shirt. This being came up and gave the pearly captain an affectionate but still rather violent shove.
"What have you got for me today, Nacre?" asked the being called Aarflot.
"Two Asgardians and a bunch of I-dunno-what," the pearly captain replied. "They could use a doctor and their ship's in a sad state as well. Thought you could help."
"Always happy," said Aarflot, patting his hands together like an enthusiastic seal. "Always happy. This isn't a place where we see a lot of your type," he added, to Hemsworth and Hiddleston. "Asgardians usually think they're too good for the likes of us."
"Not at all," said Hemsworth. "It is only that with nine whole realms to command our attention, we do not always have time for all. I shall make an effort to visit again in the future."
Thor looked like he wasn't quite happy with that idea.
"Come, come with me. Welcome to my humble lodging house." Aarflot motioned for them to follow, and they trooped, trudged, and limped as best their were able up the metal stairs into the hanging building. This had looked small from below, but once they got inside they found that the structure actually extended far above the roof of the hallway. A spiral staircase led up the middle, and creatures could be see coming and going. Some of them, like the furry three-legged things running around in the corners, didn't look like paying guests.
"Get yourselves settled," said Aarflot. "I'll see about a doctor."
In the small lobby – if that were the right word for a room with a concrete floor, pipes in the ceiling, and a little sales booth like the tiny cash desk in a Bronx convenience store on one side – there were some cylindrical objects that looked about the right height to sit on. From a distance they appeared to be hard plastic, but when Steve experimentally lowered himself onto one, he found they had some give in them. The others joined him, and everybody stayed close together, worried.
"I don't like this place," said Thor grimly.
"Really," said Loki, with more sarcasm than Steve had ever heard in a single word before.
"I thought you were resting," Thor said to him.
"I'm with him," said Johansson quietly. "This is out of the frying pan into the fire."
"No, the fire was the Chi'Tauri," said Steve. They were definitely safer here, even if not by much. "We're hiding in the frying pan to escape them."
"That's totally reassuring," said Johansson.
A few minutes later, Aarflot returned down the spiral staircase, followed by a human-sized being with scaly, olive-green skin. This creature was carrying a metal box, which it set down on one of the plastic stools and opened.
"Who first?" it asked, in a voice with a bit of a hiss behind it.
"I nominate Steve," said Natasha. "His ankle has been slowing us down."
"Hey, wait," Steve protested. He'd been a guinea pig once in his life. He'd never regretted it, but that didn't mean he wanted to do it again.
"Don't be an egg," said the scaly creature. It took a pewter-coloured, shackle-like object out of the box and adjusted some sliding parts before snapping the thing onto Steve's ankle. He twitched, but did not shout, as it dug into the swollen flesh.
The creature still noticed. "What did I just say?" it asked. "All I'm doing is stimulating your body's natural ability to heal itself."
"Like Helen's cradle?" Steve asked. The alien wouldn't have any idea what that was, but Steve found the idea comforting.
"Does she call it that because it's for scared babies?" asked the creature. It moved the cuff up above the swelling, then brought it down again. A sudden sharp pain ran through the tissues, and then it was gone. After putting up with the throbbing for days now, the way the pain vanished all at once felt like it left a hole in Steve's psyche. The creature removed the cuff, and he was treated to the strange sight of the stretched skin sagging like a deflated balloon now that the swelling underneath it was gone. He gritted his teeth and flexed the joint, and it moved normally.
"Thanks… can you do my ribs, too?" Steve asked. Those still hurt.
"Oh, now you're happy to sit," said the creature, with a roll of its large orange eyes. It did treat his ribs, however, and then moved on to patch up various cuts, slashes, and sprains on the others. When it came to Loki and Hiddleston, however, it paused.
"You two," it said. "I'm not trying anything on you two. This will just sap your strength and you don't have much of that to begin with. Call me back in a couple of days."
Aarflot nodded. "You heard xir," he said. "You need to rest. I'll get you a room and have some food brought up. We'll even get you one with an entertainment unit, so you won't be bored! There's a Bottle Tournament on Horva this week, and the games on Sakaar are always fun." He flapped his hands together again, not quite hard enough to be considered a clap. "Come on, come on."
He herded them up the steps like a flock of tired children, and brought them to a room on the third floor. Steve had been expecting a slightly futuristic but mostly just dirty and depressing hotel suite, to match everything else they'd encountered on the space station so far. It was a welcome surprise when the room turned out to be much cleaner than downstairs, although the linoleum floor was curling and the walls had a couple of weird stains. The room was also less a suite than a dormitory, with four bunk beds down each side. One of these had some fishy-looking life form sleeping in it, but the rest were empty. A small round window, high up in the far wall, showed the blue glow of the planet below them.
"Get yourselves settled," said Aarflot. "I'll be back in no time." He shut the door behind him when he left.
Steve sat down on one of the lower bunks and examined his ankle. The skin was starting to go back to normal, and everything beneath it seemed to be in place. Even when he poked at places that had been tender before, they didn't hurt now. Nat found a spigot on the wall and began washing the blood out of her hair, but everybody else just sat quietly, unsettled by the situation they found themselves in.
"They're being way too nice to us," Steve observed.
"I know," said Nat. "Captain Nacre must have promised them something."
"I hope it's just Asgardian treasure," said Steve. He didn't like to imagine what else it might be.
"Does that mean we'll have to go to Asgard?" asked Hemsworth. "I don't know if I could convince actual Asgardians that I'm Thor."
"Most strangers, I'm sure, would not think to question it," said Thor, "but Heimdall, who sees all, would know it at once. If I come along, we may be able to convince him of the need to pretend, though it would be far easier to simply switch back first."
"You will be able to switch us back, won't you?" Steve asked Loki. Even if they hadn't had the endless complications of their powers and strengths and knowing how to use them, who could be injured and who could not, Steve had been more and more uncomfortable with the situation ever since they'd released the actors. Looking at his own body from outside, with Evans inhabiting it, was just wrong. Of course, once they did switch back it might be just as strange to look at Evans, who resembled him so closely.
"Of course I will," said Loki. "Do you think I like being trapped in this festering mass of mortal flesh?"
"That's my festering mass you're insulting," grumbled Hiddleston.
"You can have it back the moment I feel able to give it to you," said Loki. "Once I am myself again I will be able to do the same for the others without needing the recovery time – that I shall leave to you."
Soon Aarflot bustled back in with a basket of spotty, wrinkled fruit that looked rather over-ripe, and some bowls of soup with suspiciously mobile contents. The group thanked him and turned down half a dozen offers of additional favours, and he finally puttered out again. Nat settled back as if she were going to eat, but Steve saw her lips move as she counted to ten, and then she put her bowl down and got up.
Steve's first instinct was to go with her. Then he remembered his ankle, and stopped himself. Then he remembered that his ankle no longer hood, and stood. He was still automatically cautious about putting weight on the joint, but it seemed to hold him just fine.
"We'll be right back," he promised the others.
Out in the hallway, Nat was inching down the stairs. Steve moved to join her, but she shook her head and held up a hand, warning him to stay put. She would signal if she needed him. He could hear whispers drifting up, but couldn't make out what any of them were saying. Natasha vanished down the steps.
Steve sat at the top, waiting impatiently. Logically he knew that Natasha rarely needed help, but he, too, wanted to know just how big a mess they were now in. Too, the rest of them had all taken a turn forgetting that they were not as strong or resilient as usual. What if Nat's time came now/ He wanted to be where he could help her.
After a few very long minutes, Nat crept back up and took Steve's arm to return to the dormitory.
"What did you hear?" he whispered.
"Nothing good," she replied grimly.
When they opened the dormitory door, they found Thor in the middle of telling the actors what they'd been doing during their visit to the other universe. He'd gotten as far as meeting up with Steve and Nat at the airport.
"They were not alone," he was saying. "They had Robert Downey Junior with them."
"Oh, no," groaned Evans. "Bob's going to give us hell about this for the rest of our lives!"
"You should not disrespect him," said Thor. "He is a brave man in his own way, who has done much good in the world."
"I know," sighed Evans, "but he's also a tease. You should hear him when he decides to 'advise' me on my 'life choices'."
"We can probably imagine it," said Nat, sitting down again. She reached to take one of the wrinkly fruits out of the bowl. The others seemed to have decided that the best way to eat these was to squeeze them until the sides split, and then suck out the applesauce-like interior. Steve tried it himself, prepared for something horrible, but the pulp turned out to be both tart and sweet, something like rhubarb with a lot of sugar, but a texture more like a soft pear. It was unfamiliar, but in no way inedible.
"What did you learn?" Thor asked.
"Aarflot was talking to Captain Nacre again," Natasha said. "The Captain was telling him how we stole a Leviathan, which Aarflot seemed to find impressive, but then he added that we have some kind of wormhole drive on board. They agreed it couldn't be a normal Chi'Tauri hyperdrive because that's too big to fit in the Leviathan, which is a short-range ship anyway. So it must be something new and unusual."
Steve groaned – he could tell where this was going. "They're going to sell our ship out from under us?"
"That's what it sounds like," said Nat. "So no matter how tempting it may be after the past couple of days, we can't afford to stop and sit. We need a plan to get the Leviathan back."
She looked at Steve. He opened his mouth to protest that Nat always thought his plans were terrible, but then he realized everybody else was looking at him, too, with that same expression people always wore when they were assuming he was in charge. Even Evans, who should have known better if anybody did, was waiting for Steve to say something. Why did everybody always assume Steve was the ideas guy? His ideas included joining the army as a ninety-eight pound asthmatic, walking home from Austria with a dozen prisoners of war, and repeatedly jumping out of planes without a parachute.
"Well," he said, thinking aloud, "the last time we were stuck in a hotel with aliens who wanted to kill us, we went out the window, but we can't do that here because we're in space." And they'd seen no sign that the building even had elevators, which had to be against some kind of regulation, even in space. "Aarflot's probably keeping us here while the Captain finds a buyer for the Leviathan, so we have to distract him and slip out."
"Then what?" asked Nat. "We can't go anywhere. Leviathans are short-range ships I don't know what that means in space travel terms, but I doubt it'll get us to Earth. We'd need the wormhole to go anywhere further, and for that we need the tesseract, which is probably light-years away with the Chi'Tauri."
"We could go to Asgard!" Hemsworth suggested. He turned to Thor. "Heimdall sees everything, right? One of you two must know how to call for him." He pointed at Thor, then at Loki, then back at Thor again. "We'll explain to him what's going on, and the Asgardians can help us get the tesseract back."
Thor shook his head. "While we're gone, the pirates here may dismantle or destroy the Leviathan. That is a risk we cannot take. Besides which, Asgard does not tangle with Thanos, nor he with us. To do so would start a war neither side could support."
Nobody had realized that, and all were disappointed. "So… no help from Asgard," said Evans.
"We're gonna need somebody to keep the Chi'Tauri busy while we go for the tesseract," said Steve. "The Ravagers won't help us unless we can pay them for it, and I'm not sure even Asgard can afford to pay off all of them. We're going to have to get help from somewhere, but…" he stopped as his train of thought shifted onto a side track. The Ravagers wouldn't help willingly, but they would have to defend themselves if there were some kind of threat. "Okay," he said. "Okay, wait, I think I have an idea."
"Uh-oh," said Natasha.
"Don't uh-oh," Steve told her. "A moment ago you were waiting for me to come up with something. Give me a minute to think."
The idea crystallized slowly, piece by piece. It was probably a terrible plan – Peggy Carter might have called it suicidal and Hayley Atwell definitely would. He'd be risking all their lives… but then, any attempt to get the tesseract back from the Chi'Tauri would be a terrible risk. There wouldn't be a second chance if they got it wrong, but second chances were a luxury the Avengers rarely had. Besides, they were back now in a universe where they knew the rules. That would hopefully help.
"Well?" Nat said. "What's the idea?"
Steve told them. He expected her to reply that it was his worst idea ever, but instead, the first person to offer an opinion was Loki.
"I'm not doing it," he said.
"It worked for the Guardians of the Galaxy," Hemsworth said.
"No, it didn't!" Johansson told him. "Did you even watch that movie?"
"Who are the Guardians of the Galaxy?" Steve wanted to know.
"You haven't met them yet," said Evans. "You probably won't like them."
"Does anybody have a better idea?" Steve wanted to know. He was fully open to better ideas.
Thor poked his brother. "Loki, if you refuse to be present in person, perhaps you could cast an illusion of…"
"I'm saving my strength to switch our bodies back, remember?" Loki asked. "If you wish to delay that, by all means, ask me to do card tricks in the mean time! I will have no part of it."
Nat thought for a moment. "I might… I'm not sure it's actually a better idea, but it may be an improved variation."
"Will it still use me as bait?" Loki wanted to know.
"No," said Nat, "but we'll need one of the Ravagers to cooperate. Don't worry, whoever it is, they don't have to be willing."
Loki nodded. "We'll go with her idea," he said.
"Either way, the first step is to get out of here," Nat said. She got up again, and wiped mushy fruit innards off her fingers onto her shirt. "Which I'm happy to do, because this is the shiftiest hotel I have ever been in, and I've been to Times Square in the 80's."
Johansson looked intrigued. "Is that because of the thing from the comics, where you're way older than you look?" she asked.
"No," said Natasha. "I'll tell you about it later."
"Well, rats," said Johansson. "That probably means the writers will never let me kiss Sebastian Stan."
"You should probably talk to Sebastian about that," said Steve.
They left the room again and started down the stairs in a group, with the post powerful members of the party in the lead. That way if they were challenged, Hemsworth and Evans could hopefully handle whatever form that challenge took. Behind them, Steve, Thor, Natasha, and Johansson clustered close to Loki and Hiddleston, who were still the ones in greatest need of protection.
Aarflot was back in the lobby. He was now behind the little counter, and since Steve couldn't see a door that led to that area, he couldn't imagine how he'd gotten there – Aarflot was surely much too big to climb through the little window. He was chatting with Miss Alpha-Eleven-Three, who had a new arm now, though it didn't match any of her other parts.
"Begging your pardon, Sweet-Beeps," said Aarflot. "Our guests are here. Did you fine people need anything?" he asked. His face was all smiles and his voice all helpfulness, but there was still a definite impression that he wanted them to know they'd been seen.
"Ah, Master Aarflot," said Hemsworth, stepping forward. "I did have one question."
"What can I do for my honoured guest?" Aarflot wanted to know
"I know little as yet of the practices in Haven," Hemsworth said, "but in Asgard – and indeed, on my friends' world of Earth – it is considered unseemly that a prince should share his lodgings with so many others. My brother's company I do not mind, and I can stretch to accept our companions, but must there be strangers?"
"I know I don't sound like that," Thor muttered.
Aarflot seemed confused a moment, then brightened. "You mean Fishlips?" he asked. "She's harmless. She's hibernating, actually. Won't be up for weeks yet."
"I do not begrudge the Lady Fishlips a place to sleep," Hemsworth assured him, "but I would rather not be in the same room with her. Have you nothing more private?"
"You've clearly never been on a space station before, if you think we have much privacy," Aarflot told him. "Maybe I can hang some curtains around her bed or something…"
With Hemsworth's broad shoulders to fill the space around the little counter where Aarflot was, and with Evans standing next to him so Miss Alpha couldn't see, either, the others started to creep by one by one. What they hadn't bargained on, but probably should have, was Aarflot having accomplices. Nat made it to the door and eased it open, and immediately heard an excited cry from outside.
"It's them!" a high-pitched voice exclaimed.
There must have been a crowd waiting, because Nat had to stumble back from the door very quickly as at least a dozen people came surging up the steps at once. There were aliens of every description, from those who looked almost entirely human to things on which Steve couldn't even identify an obvious head, all climbing over and pushing past each other to get inside. Any hope Steve might have had that this crowd wasn't there for them was quickly quashed. Actors and Avengers formed a tight group at the bottom of the spiral steps as their new fans gathered around them.
"Did you really steal a Leviathan?" a short, furry creature asked.
"Just… what, ten of you?" another individual asked. This one would have looked more human if it hadn't been for the extra set of arms.
"Eight," said Steve, holding up his hands in honest fear that the crowd would crush him.
"Eight! Just eight of you against a whole hive!" A banana-yellow woman, complete with the sort of black spots a ripe banana would have, and sporting yarn-like white hair, crushed herself up against Evans and put her arms around his neck. "How did you manage it?"
"Uh." Evans looked at Steve. "Teamwork. And Um. Sit-ups. Lots of sit-ups."
This man was an actor? Steve turned away from him, and found himself looking right at Aarflot. Their host had a satisfied smile on his face. So did Miss Alpha at his side, and Steve was absolutely sure they'd done this on purpose. The party couldn't leave the hotel if they were going to be mobbed the moment they stepped outside.
"My name is Musa," said the banana woman. "What's yours."
"Chris," said Evans. "I mean Steve! Can you… can you excuse us?"
Aarflot stamped his feet, shaking the whole building. "Now, now, everybody!" he said, emerging through the crowd – Steve had missed how he'd gotten out from behind the desk, meaning he would probably now never know. "Our guests are very tired. I'm sure defeating an entire Chi'Tauri hive is very hard work! They need rest and, importantly, privacy! Isn't that what Prince Thor came to ask me about?" He smiled at Hemsworth – a smile with a bit of triumph behind it.
"Verily," said Hemsworth.
"Then we'd better make some appropriate arrangements," Aarflot said. "All of you, come with me. Miss Alpha-Eleven-Three, could you hold back the baying mob, please?"
Miss Alpha held up the arm she hadn't recently replaced, and the hand bent back at an unnatural angle, exposing what was definitely the muzzle of some kind of weapon. People moved back.
"That's better," said Aarflot, and shooed them up the stairs. "Come now. Let's find you that privacy you wanted."