LAST TIME, WITH JACK!
On became two, got depressed and got lunch.
Then they got their collective shit together and completed what they came to do in only average time! Before suddenly boy-cat-cousin?
Let's watch.
Also, spoiling winning votes.
Spoiler: Yeah, Winning Votes
[X] "Actually, its just One Red-Head." Merge back into one
[X] ARE WE RELATED?
-[X] "You look like a dude version of my sister! You related to the Spicer's by any chance? You do kind of look like my aunt, but I can't really tell with that mask and those weird eyes of yours."
READY? GO!
With both of your hands pressed together, flesh parted ways as the two of yourselves became the true blue Jack Spicer.
You took a quick moment to roll your neck around and fit together the two sets of memories you had just obtained, before looking fully back on to the cat-boy in his tree, casual as can be even after the casual violation of reality.
"Nope, just plain ol' me." You remarked as you crunched your knuckles against leather gloves, and bots behind you closed ranks after suddenly losing one half of their protection detail.
The boy, as you were now referring to as Goldie till you got a better name, just continued to stare at you for a moment, a near subtle tension running through his leaning form, waiting for you to make the first move.
But you didn't. You just kept stretching and making small moves, both to rid your body of any kinks your clones might have made, and to distract from Wuya flying behind a bot out of view.
Finally, after what felt like an eternal minute, the boy shrugged for a second and leapt from the tree and hit the ground in a small crouch, which he quickly popped out of. Seeing him on his feet...really didn't do you any favours for making him think you weren't related, something that kind of was stuck in your head currently from the literal concurrent perspectives on the matter. He was around your own height, had the hair and tussle, a kind of casual air of reality that could only come from being rich, and casually used some high-tier violence to dispatch three jackbots.
If it weren't for the fact that you could see his legitimately slitted and bright green eyes that had weird patterns changing in them, you'd have already been freaking out about Dad or Mom having an affair.
In fact, since you had the chance...
"Hey, buddy! Any chance you're related to the Spicers?" You call out to Goldie, who had cautiously stepped in front of the statue, for the first time causing an emotion other than amusement or anxiousness to appear on his face.
It was pure confusion from what you could tell through the weirdly effective mask.
"What the what? Dude, where did that even come from? WHY?" Goldie asked with an admittedly appropriate response.
You yourself would have usually never brought up such a topic so suddenly, but with the sudden twin sets of responses stacking on top of the other, the sheer similarities, and just kind of the hope of more non-asshole family, there was really no way to stop the question. Plus, who know's maybe it would have distracted him from the Wu for you long enough to grab it?
Unfortunately not though. Instead it was just him giving you a weird look, making you shuffle your sleeves a bit and mutter a bit about looking like your sister or aunt made a genderbent clone, which you KNEW wasn't allowed anymore, but you don't think he heard that last part.
"Okay, let's just kind of ignore that for a minute there. Just...what kind of Akuma ARE you? Did you try and get a statue submitted to the park, and it was rejected, leaving you to destroy all the ones currently there? Or not get enough attention and decide to be your own best friend? You haven't even demanded a Miraculous yet. You are SUPER casual right now..." Goldie began to list before trailing off seeing your own sheer confusion, or that might have been from the Third-Arm Sash rising up behind you to shoot his own look back, Thumb and middle pressed together to form a 'puckered' mouth and two half drooped fingers in half-lids.
"WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT!" Okay, it was the Third-Arm Sash, good to know. Still, best to clarify.
"Okay, no, We aren't playing the pronoun and enter this dangerous world bullshit, because I didn't understand even half of what or why you just said what you did. I'm going to be clear as I can possibly be at this second. Nod if you understand." You were NOT having this shit happen again. Mystical shenanigans were going on here, and you were having NONE of it, NOT THIS CLOSE.
"I am NOT an Akuma, I don't know what that is, nor am I here out of a desire to destroy public art or Loneliness. I am most likely NOT here for a Miraculous, nor have I heard about whatever that is before today. What I AM here for, is that telescope in that statue's hand, which is a magical item that can cause unspeakable harm if the wrong person grabs it." You stated, points accented by crossing of your arms in X's, and using the Third-Arm to point at said telescope. There, everything you had said was the truth in a sense. You knew Akuma meant devil, demon, or fire spirit depending on some context, but outside the red hair you had no idea how that could describe yourself, no matter how cool. And even the bit about the telescope was correct, what with drawing in Wu hunters just by holding it, and any hands that weren't your own were obviously the wrong ones. God, you loved being smart.
Goldie was rendered fully speechless for a second, mouth flapping open again and again, and it gave you such a sense of catharsis. God damn, it was like getting one over on Kristen. You'd never forget this image.
"I! HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS!" Goldie screamed for a second, hands going to his head and rubbing furiously where two stark black ears went out of the blonde hair.
"Get in line, now, if you'll excuse me!" You scoff back before booking it over to the statue Goldie was now far too occupied to pay attention to.
You were right there! Just a single grip and it'd be yours! Fina-
A red glove touched the other side of the scope, having hidden behind the statues base and completely obstructed by perspective.
A black polkadot spotted mask was the first thing you saw, along with too blue to be real hair and eyes yellow as the sun, if half as bright.
"You didn't we'd just let you say some really outrageous things than book it with said 'highly dangerous' object, right? Why not explain some more about that, please?" The girl in the Red jumpsuit spoke, voice light but tight with warning.
Before anything else could be said though, all you did was let out a groan of anguish as the Eagle Scope lit up with pure light and potential, startling the girl but doing its job of keeping both hands lodged tight, even as the marble previously holding it evaporated like snow in the Sahara. Well, if the opportunity was knocking...
"I challenge you to a Xiaolin Showdown! The challenge is a Race out the Park! First one to the top of the Ferris Wheel wins! I wager my Third-Arm Sash against your...I guess hair-ties?" You shouted out before stopping for a second to actually look at your opponent. You almost decided to say the yo-yo's or body suit, but you had good luck against wagered hair-ties. Plus it'd be a bit weird to suddenly be holding a girl's bodysuit...
""WHAT IS EVEN HAPPENING!"" Both tight clad wearers cried out as the world flashed into an iridescent tide of foliage as a Witch laughed merrily.
END OF CHAPTER
Wow, this is gonna be a fun next few chapters.
Still, we know the challenge. Next chapter is going to be setting the scene and THEN I will be giving the votes. Also, we could have gotten this Wu earlier if we were more effective. But nah, plenty of time for the local heros to look out for suspicious activity. Who knew?