Chapter 11: I Love Acha
Steven was in his room watching Crying Breakfast Friends with Amethyst and Lapis.
Pear: Waaaahaaaahaaaa!
Spoon: What's wrong Pear?
Pear: I-I fell down and hurt my knee. Waaaaaaa!
Spoon: Don't cry here's a band aid.
Spoon puts a band aid on Pear.
Spoon: There, feel better?
Pear: Yes. ( now crys tears of joy) Thank you.
Spoon:( crying tears of joy) You're welcome.
Pear and Spoon: Waaaaaahaaaahaaa!
Lapis: Steven the spoon just gave the pear a band aid. Why are they still crying?
Steven: It's called tears of joy. Sometimes if something good has happened but you feel a bit emotional about it, you tear up a little. Plus this show is all about food with feelings.
Lapis: Oh okay.( whispers to Amethyst) I still don't get this show.
Amethyst: ( whispers back to Lapis) Neither do I. Just go with it.
They continued watching, but little did they know they were being watched. Kocha was wathcing them from the window, but wasn't too close so they couldn't her.
Kocha: I'm at my posistion. Acha can you here me?
Acha: Loud and clear Kocha. What do you see?
Kocha: All I see is the boy, the runty Amethyst and the Lapis Lazuli watching some kind of moving picture on this box.
Acha: A what?
Kocha: Look through my spy goggles.
Acha opens up his chest and puts on spy goggles that allow him to see through Kocha's point of view.
Kocha: Look see?
Now he see's Steven and the others watching t.v.
Acha: Interesting. Humans have a very unique way of spending there time. But what is this?
Acha notices Crying Breakfast Friends.
Acha: Oh why are they crying like that?
Kocha: I'm moving on to the other windows.
Acha: Wait not yet I see something.
Kocha moves back.
Kocha: What? What is it?
Acha: Now a black and white box object is crying with them.
Kocha: Wha-You idiot forget the show we have work to do.
Kocha looks through the other windows of the house.
Acha: This is what there base looks like? It's so primitive.
Kocha: But I bet there's more beyond that door at the end.
Kocha was about to leave until she heard something back in Steven's room. She looks through the window and see's the t.v having a signal problem.
Steven: Ah what? Must be the satellite.
Amethyst: I got this dude.
Amethyst gets up and starts banging on the t.v which horrifies Acha and Kocha.
Acha: Oh my lord! She's hurting that poor defensless machine.
Kocha: Just because it doesn't walk or talk like us doesn't mean they shouldn't be treated like that.
Amethyst:( banging the t.v) Come on, stupid t.v.
Steven: Amethyst I don't think that will work.
Amethyst: I got this.
Amethyst then kicks it and it works fine again.
Amethyst: There problem solved.
Kocha: Oh this is unacceptable. Let's head back to base.
At GIen's ship, Acha and Kocha report this to Gien and Bomber the Great.
Acha: It was horrible my lord. Those gems treat machines like they are nothing.
Bomber: Why are you telling us this when there are better things to learn like weaknesses?
Acha: Because Bomber, this is like back on Homeworld how the Diamonds don't think of us highly, how Yellow Daimond sometimes destroys the soldiers out of anger and how they rejected us from the start. And it's not just them, all humans treat machines bad. Look at this.
Acha turns on the monitor to show what humans do with mahines. Like someone kicking a vending machine because their snack got stuck, someone hitting there car because it broke down or people watching videos online of an old man destroying his refrigerator and stove just so he can get a new one.
Acha: Look at this. It's horrible!
Kocha: It's mass genocide!
Bomber: It's stupid and idiotic.
Acha: My lord, you understand this don't you?
Gien: As a matter of fact yes.
Bomber: You can't be serious about this.
Gien: Humans treat machines no better than animals.
Acha: You are precicely right my lord!
Kocha: Yeah! Right!
Bomber: ( sarcastic tone) Oh great! What do you want me to do? Go down there and punish them?
Gien: I have a better idea. We'll teach them to appreciate machines. It's time we send down Kamero. Acha, contact him to come down here.
Acha: Yes my lord.
The next day the Gara Elite Kamero arrived at Gien's ship. His body was blue and looked slender with some muscle in it. His head however was huge and all it had was one giant eye. The eye looked more like red camera lenses and his shoulders were huge and round. His left hand looked like a crabs claw and his right hand looked normal but with sharp claws.
Kamero: What is your command one true master?
Gien: Go down to Beach City and commence phase one of the plan. Make all the humans fall in love with machines and destroy the Crystal Gems. We will contact you when you are to commence phase two.
Kamero: Yes Lord Gien.
Kamero teleports to Beach City. His first spot was the Big Doughnut where Lars and Sadie were.
Sadie: Lars can you take out the trash?
Lars: Uh, I did that last time. You do it.
Sadie: I'm in the middle of stocking in case you haven't noticed.
Lars: Whatever.
They hear the door and see's Kamero.
Sadie: Oh, hello sir. Can I help you?
Kamero: You two! Love cash register!
Kamero's eye flash and Lars and Sadie are under his control.
Lars: ( hugging cash register) Oh cash register. How I love you.
Sadie: ( hugging cash register) Oh great cash register. You are the best in the world.
Lars shoves Sadie.
Lars: Back off cash register stealer.
Sadie shoves him back.
Sadie: You're the cash register stealer. Get you're own!
Then they start fighting and shoving each other.
Lars: I saw it first!
Sadie: No I did!
Kamero: ( silent chuckles) That's two down.
Kamero exits and heads off to his next victim. Sour Cream was practincing on his turntable to be a DJ.
Sour Cream: No that's not it either. How am I going to find the right sound?
He is approached by Kamero.
Sour Cream: Oh hey man what's up?
Kamero: You! Love turntable!
Kamero's eye flash and Sour Cream is under his control.
Sour Cream: ( hugging turtable) Turntable, you truly are amazing. Will you marry me?
Kamero leaves to his next victim. Greg was at the carwash on break. He was sitting down wearing sunglasses and playing a guitar version of the song " Let me drive my van into your heart." Kamero approaches him.
Greg: Sorry sir, didn't see you there. Do you need your car washed?
Kamero: You! Love Van!
Kamero's eye flash and Greg is under his control.
Greg: ( hugging and rubbing his van) Oh my sweet, sweet van. I should have realized you were the most important thing in my life. You never leave me behind. I love you.
Kamero leaves him and makes all the humans in Beach City fall in love with machines. Next we cut to a scene with Peedee filming Ronaldo for his blog.
Ronaldo: Strang isn't it? Human beings now throwing there normal lives away just so they can cuddle with machines. What strange magic is this? Could this be the work of the snake people or the rock people? We will find out soon, next time on Keep Beach City Wierd! Ok cut, this is going to be great. I'm definitly going to get a billion views for this.
Peedee was still filming and the scene is in his point of view.
Peedee: Um, shouldn't we be worried about this? I mean what if what's happening gets us?
Ronalod: Relax little bro. I came prepared. ( undos his shirt) First I have this armor which I bought from last years comic book convention
Peedee then notices Kamero walking towards Ronaldo from behind.
Peedee: Uh Ronaldo...
Ronaldo: ( puts on a gauntlet) Then I have the replica of the Gauntlet of Death from the Infinity and beyond war comic series.
Peedee: Seriously there's something...
Ronaldo: ( puts on a helmet) And lets not forget my Heroes Helmet fromt he Koala Princess series. Nothing can stand in my way.
Peedee: Ronaldo!
Ronaldo: What?
Peedee points behind Ronaldo. He turns around and see's Kamero just standing there.
Ronaldo:( gasps) No! It can't be! The...wait hold on. You filming this?
Peedee: Yes.
Ronaldo: It can't be! The robotmen. The came from the future where war between man and machines fight to show who is the real dominent species. They sent one there troops back in time to make sure we would lose. So you're the one causing all this. Who will be able to stop him?
Peedee: Uh, Steven and the Crsytal Gems?
Ronaldo: I will stop him! Prepare to meet your maker!
Ronaldo punches Kamero with his gauntlet. But after one punch had no effect on him and the gauntlet shattered into pieces.
Ronaldo: NO! That was a limited edition! I spent $80.00 on that!
Kamero: You! Love camera!
Kamero's eye flash and Ronaldo is under his control. Then he stares at Peedee.
Peedee: Uh, what are you doing?
Kamero: I love camera.
Peedee: You're starting to freak me out.
Ronalod: Oh great camera! I love you!
Peedee: AAAAAAHHHH!
Peedee still holding the camera runs away and Ronaldo chases him.
Ronaldo: You can't hide from me! We were made for each other!
Kamero: That boy ain't right.
Meanwhile Steven and Amethyst were on there way to the Big doughnut. They entered inside to only see Sadie and Lars arguing.
Steven: Hey Lars. Hey Sadie.
Lars: I saw it first so it's mine.
Sadie: No I did. So go find you're own already.
Steven and Amethyst look confused.
Steven: Uh is something wrong?
Sadie: Steven perfect timing. Tell Lars here that the cash register belongs to me.
Lars: Don't listen to her, the cash register is mine.
Steven: Uh the cash register is for the both of you. Get I get two donuts please?
Lars: After she admits that the cash regist is mine.
Sadie: Not in a million years.
Amethyst: Hey donut kids. We're asking for some service. So give us our donuts.
Sadie: The cash register is mine!
Lars: No it's mine!
Sadie: Mine!
Lars: Mine!
Amethyst: Forget it lets go.
Steven and Amethyst leave the Big Doughnut.
Amethyst: Worst service ever.
Steven: I know they bicker now and then, but not like this. Why would they fight over a cash register?
Amethyst: Like how everyone else is cuddling all those other stuff.
Steven turns around.
Steven: What?
Then he and Amethyst looks around town and see's everyone loving machines. They saw Mayor Dewey rubbing his campaign vehicle, Jenny cuddling her cell phone and onion hugging an ATM mahine that he was going to destroy.
Steven: This is really weird.
Amethyst: Steven look.
They see from the distance Kamero now meeting Mr. Smiley.
Kamero: You! Love arcade game!
Kamero's eye flashes and Mr. Smiley is now under his control.
Mr. Smiley: ( hugging arcade game) I love you arcade game. And if anyone breaks you, they're definitly going to get banned.
Amethysts: Gara Droid.
Steven: Let's get the others.
Steven and Amethyst goes get the others as Kamero keeps walking.
Kamero: HAHAHAHAHA! Foolish humans are now starting to appreciate us machines. But I still don't see any gems around.
Garnet: You don't have to find us anymore.
Kamero turns around and see's the Crystal Gems behind him.
Kamero: Ah, there you are Crystal Gems.
Pearl: What have you done to these humans?
Kamero: They are now under my love at first sight power and I will do the same to you.
Bismuth: Oh I don't think so.
Bismuth charges towards him.
Garnet: Bismuth wait!
Bismuth jumps up forming her hands into hammers.
Bismuth: Take this you Gara uppercrust scrap heap!
Kamero: You! Love motorcycle!
Kamero's eye flashes and Bismuth is under his control. She falls onto the ground. She gets up and see's the nearest motorcycle.
Bismuth: Motorcycle! Oh motorcycle. How I love you.
Pearl: Bismuth, what are you doing?
Bismuth: Who would like to go next?
Amethyst: It's on now.
Amethyst uses her whip and constricts him.
Amethyst: Can't escape now, can you?
Kamero: You! Love lamp post!
Kamero's eye flash and Amethyst is under his control. She see's the lamp post and jumps up to cuddle it. He breaks free from the whip.
Pearl: Amethyst get down from there.
Amethyst: No way P. I just want to be with the great lamp post. You have such colorful lights.
Steven: This is bad. If we keep attacking he'll just use his power on us.
Pearl: You're right Steven. We have to retreat Garnet.
Garnet: Not without those two.
Garnet jumped up to grab Amethyst, but Amethyst wouldn't let go so she broke the lamp post off and took it with her. When she went to go get Bismuth she wouldn't let go either. Garnet had to drag the both of them away.
Garnet: Let's retreat for now.
They all retreat leaving Kamero behind.
Kamero: You can't hide from me forever. Soon you all will be serving Gien!
So the gems went to the Barn to see Peridot. Amethyst and Bismuth were still cuddling with their objects while the others spoke with her and Lapis.
Steven: Kamero?
Peridot: Yes. He's known for making people fall in love with anyone or anything. Mainly he would make them fall in love with machines.
Lapis: That doesn't sound so bad.
Peridot: It get's worse. After his warm up, he will make them fall in love with Gien and will do whatever he says. He will make them destroy the civilization they made and then when he's done with them he will have them all to commit suicide. And they won't hesitate to do it.
Now they're all worried about the situation.
Garnet: How do we stop him?
Peridot: I don't know. As long as he has his love at first sight flash, you can't get near him.
Pearl: So we have to find a way to have him stop using his flash, but how?
Steven: What if we had him flash himself in a mirror. Would that work?
Peridot: Most likely. But how are we going to trick him into flashing a mirror? Also he's probably about to change everyone's love to Gien. When he does it's all over.
Steven: Then maybe we should have them follow someone else who won't do anything so horrible.
Peridot: But who?
Steven rubs his chin for a moment, and then grins with an idea.
Meanwhile Acha and Kocha along with two Gara Soldiers meet up with Kamero.
Kamero: Ah I've been waiting for you two.
Acha: We're glad to find you, we have a message for you from Gien.
Kocha plays holographic message from Gien.
Gien: Kamero, how goes phase one of the plan?
Kamero: All according to plan as you wanted my lord.
Gien: Good, have you came across the Crystal Gems?
Kamero: I have, but they got away. But I did manage to hypnotize two of them.
Gien: Just finish them off the next time you see them. Commence phase two of the plan.
Kamero: Yes my lord.
Message ends.
Acha: Alright Kamero. Time to finish the mission.
Suddenly Pearl jumps out of nowhere.
Acha: Ah the Pearl!
Pearl: I won't let you get away with this.
Pearl forms her spear and was about to throw it at Acha. Acha ducks and coves, but she throws it super weak that barely moves from her spot.
Pearl: ( sounds like she's acting poorly) Oh no, the spear wouldn't work. I guess I will have to fight you hand to hand.
Pearl punches Acha in the chest, but she puches him so soft.
Acha: Hahahah! You can't hurt me lassie. I am made of the finest metal on Homeworld.
Acha then pushes her.
Pearl: Oh no I can't be defeated by the most powerful Gara Droid.
Acha: Me? Powerful? Oh well uh, I wouldn't see that.
Pearl: But it's true. You have to be the most powerful, greatest, smartest and handsome of all the Gara Droids.
Acha: Well, I am pretty great.
Kocha: I think she's lying.
Acha: Nonsense. Me taking down the renegade pearl, that means a lot. You know what, lets have a little bit of fun first. Kamero, take pictures of me.
Kocha: What are you doing?
Acha: Lets mess with these humans a bit. Let them follow and worhsip me.
Kocha: You're making a huge mistake! Gien said to commence phase two of the plan!
Acha: Don't I deserve a little bit of respect? I've been serving my lord for the past 6,000 years and never steered him wrong. I the great Acha derserve an award.
Kocha: Do what you want. But if this backfires, you're on your own.
Kocha flies away.
Acha: Fine go I don't need you. Kamero do it now.
Acha poses for his picture. Kamero eye flashes now has a picture of Acha in his eye.
Kamero: It is done Acha.
Acha: Good lets go!( to two gara soldiers) You two, take her back to the ship.
The nodded and after Acha and Kamero leaves they forced Pearl up as they took her away. But she imediatly broke free and decapitated them with her spear.
Steven, Garnet and Lapis who were hiding emerged and walked to her. Peridot stayed behind to watch Bismuth and Amethyst.
Pearl: So what did you think of my acting?
Garnet: Wow, academy award right there people.
Steven: Let's follow to see what he's going to do.
Near Funland, everyone in Beach City were surrounding Acha praising him. Kamero was just standing aside watching him.
Lars: Acha! You are the greatest!
Kiki: ( kissing his cheek) You truly are amazing. I love you!
Ronaldo: Forget everything weird to blog about. My blog should have only you in it.
Acha: Thank you, thank you people. I the great Acha am truly righteouse.
The Crystal Gems look from the distance.
Lapis: Are you sure with this plan Steven?
Steven: It's better they follow him instead of Gien. It would have been much worse.
Garnet: You're right Steven. Acha has always been the least offensive of the Gara Droids. Are you ready to got through with this?
Steven: Yes.
Steven goes out and faces Acha and Kamero.
Acha: Oh, look who's here to stand in my way.
Steven: This has to stop Acha. You can't make people fall in love with you.
Acha: Oh but I can and you are about to be next. Kamero, get him.
Kamero: Right.
Stevens runs
Kamero: You can't run away from me boy.
Steven lures him into Funland and he stops in front of something covered with a curtain.
Kamero: I got you now boy. You! Love Acha!
Kamero's eye flashes, but Steven ducked and as he did he also pulled to curtain down revealing a mirror. The flash the reflects onto Kamero and is now under his own power.
Kamero: Wait no! AAAAHHH!
Acha enters.
Acha: Oh Kamero, did you get him?
Kamero turns around and see's Acha with a big heart on his eye.
Kamero:(gasps) Acha! I love you!
Acha: I love you?
Kamero: Acha! Come to me!
Acha: No stop!
Acha runs and Kamero chases after him. Garnet, Pearl and Peridot catch up with Steven.
Garnet: Steven what's happening?
Steven: ( giggling) Take a look.
Kamero conitnues chasing after Acha all over the place.
Kamero: Acha!
Acha: Get away from me!
Kamero: I love you!
Acha: Leave me alone! Go away!
Acha kept tripping as he ran away from Kamero. He even ran towards the gems and hid behind Garnet. Kamero kept peeking side to side on her, but Garnet casually steps aside exposing Acha. Then finally Kamero caught Acha and started hugging him.
Kamero: Be mine!
Acha: No put me down now! Oh stop your crushing me. Ow,ow,ow,ow,ow,ow,ow!
The gems just stood and laughed a little.
Steven: Machines are really scary huh?
Kocha flies by and see's whats happening.
Kocha: What are you idiots doing hugging each other?
Acha: Kocha help me!
Kocha: Oh so now you want my help.
Acha: Please Kocha! I'm literally going to be crushed to death by hugs.
Kocha: Only if you admit that I am right and you are wrong and you have to call me Master Kocha.
Acha: Alright I admit it. You are right and I am wrong Master Kocha!
Kocha: And one more thing. When we get back you have to do whatever I say for a whole week.
Acha: Okay, Okay! Whatever you want Kocha. I mean Master Kocha.
Kocha: I am breaking off the love at first sight circuits.
Kocha fires a beam at Kamero. It cuts off the love at first sight circuits inside Kamero and he is back to normal along with all the people.
Kamero: What the? What happened?
Acha: Oh my back. Thank you Master Kocha.
Kocha: Have you learned your lesson?
Acha: Yes I have.
Garnet: He doesn't have his power anymore.
Steven: Then lets finish this.
Kamero: Not a chance!
Kamero shot finger missles from his right hand. Steven protect him and everyone else with his shield. After the shield was gone, Pearl fired her lasers from her spear at Kamero. He was hit and then she lunged at him slashing him with her spear. He blocked her next attack and slashed her with his claw. He was about to hit her again until Steven slashed him on his back. Kamero turns around continued attacking him. Steven blocked most of his attacks, but soon he was punched put him. He was about to finish him with his finger missiles until Lapis shot a huge stream of water at hit sending him flying back. Garnet then went up to him and conitnuosly punched him. The final punch was she made the size of her fist huge and it sent him flying into a wall. Kamero tried to get up, but he was starting to spazz out as electricity was coming out of him. He fell back onto the ground and explodes.
Acha: Oh this is not good. Kocha now is a good time to get out of here.
Kocha: What did I say?
Acha:( groans) Master Kocha.
Kocha: Perfect.
Kocha teleports herself and Acha out.
Lapis: So does this mean everyone is back to normal?
Garnet: I hope so.
Amethyst: Hey guys!
The look back and find Bismuth, Amethyst and Peridot running towards them.
Steven: Amethyst, Bismuth you're back.
Bismuth: Where's that nail head. I'm ready to take him to the scrapyard and melt him into slag.
Lapis: Too late. We already beat him.
Bismuth: Oh, well, thats good.
Peridot: They just turned back to normal five minutes ago. We got here as soon as we could thinking you needed help.
Steven: Well thanks for coming anyway.
They exit out and see all the people back to normal, but they hardly remember anything.
Lars: Why did I feel like I was fighting over a cash register?
Sadie: I don't know, but I felt the same way.
Ronaldo: ( picks up the broken camera) My camera! All the footage for my blog is gone! NOOOOOOO!
Peedee: Your blog is the least of your worries. Dad is going to kill you when he finds out that you broke it.
Greg: Oh man did I sleep walk all the way over here? Oh hey Steven.
Steven: Dad, are you okay?
Greg: Yeah I'm fine. I had this crazy dream that I was in love with my van. I mean I love my van, but not that much.
Garnet: Yup, that was definitly one crazy dream.
Greg: But I gotta get back. There must be line back at the wash.
Steven: I can help you dad.
Greg: Are you sure? I mean I don't wanna ruin your day or anything.
Steven: It's fine, I want help my favorite dad.
Greg: Oh well thanks Stuball.
Steven goes with Greg to help his work.
Meanwhile at Gien's ship.
Bomber: ARGH! I can't believe that Acha screwed the entire mission! You see what I have to deal with Gien! Morons! I'm surrounded by morons!
Gien: I would have a suitible punishment for his pompous attitude. But I think Kocha already took care of that.
We shift to a scene with Kocha making Acha her servent.
Kocha: I want another pillow for my throne.
Acha: Yes Master Kocha.
Acha gives her another pillow.
Kocha: Fan me.
Acha starts fanning Kocha.
Kocha: Thats too soft.
Acha fans her faster.
Kocha: Now it's too hard.
Acha fans slower.
Kocha: Too soft.
Acha fans faster.
Kocha: Too hard. You know what give me a massage.
Kocha lies down front and Acha massages her.
Kocha: Oh yes that's right. A little to the right.
Acha: This is so humiliating.
Kocha: Hey it's either that or be Bomber's target practice.
Acha: ( sighs) I guess so.
Kocha: Good, now go prepare my oil bath.
Acha: ( sighs) Yes Master Kocha.
To be continued...
Author's note: That's it for this chapter. This was just a silly chapter I really wanted to do. Next time we will get more serious. I hoe you enjoyed. Please read and review. Thank you.