Step 5: When magic must be used in public, disguise yourself well.
As established in Step 4, you should take all precautions to avoid being caught whilst using magic. However, the reality of using magic in a land that loathes it is that you will eventually get caught. Or someone else will get accused of casting your magic even though they aren't, because some old sod must be both blind and deaf. What? I'm certainly not speaking of King Uther. That would be highly treasonous and unbefitting of a servant of the crown…
Nowadays, with Uther a bit crazier than usual and Morgana plotting in the woods, the perfect disguise is crucial. Because if you get caught using magic, your head will no longer be attached to your body. No exceptions. Even for saving the King's own bloody head.
Your disguise should be planned in advance. I was caught off guard the first time a disguise was necessary. One thing lead to another and suddenly I was a barmy old man stewing in the dungeon waiting for my execution. After that fiasco, Gaius and I worked out the kinks in reversing the aging process and now I have the perfect magical disguise.
I feel required to give my readers a brief disclaimer: I am not advising the brewing or use of any sort of aging potion. Don't do this at home people, unless you are extremely skilled. I cannot be held liable for any resulting nausea, vision distortion, time stuck as a frog, delusions of grandeur, personality changes, or accidental incinerations. On the other hand, reference my book: "Merlin's Guide to Spells that Could Kill You: The Extended Fun Edition" for the details of performing such a spell.
Anyways, the prat is always useless when it comes to fighting magic, but in some cases even the pinhead must admit he needs magical help. Which he moans and fusses about but unlike his father he'll actually consider all his options. Which may be the only redeeming quality he has. In cases such as this, pull out your disguise and get to work. To explain your absence, see the previously discussed step 3.
"Well, this is just great". Merlin huffed and wriggled, trying to loosen the rope tied securely around his hands and feet.
"Shut up, Merlin" Arthur muttered from the straw-covered floor beside him. "It isn't like I planned to get captured this morning".
"Of course not, sire. You just walked right into their arms! 'No Merlin, I won't stop and think for once. Why would I take tactical advice from a servant? Clearly the solution to finding the missing villagers is to blunder through the woods. They're probably hiding in the bushes!'" Merlin narrowly dodged the clump of straw Arthur threw at his face and smirked a bit at Gwaine, who unsuccessfully attempted to conceal his amused snort. Leon just looked disapproving. How shocking. That man just didn't appreciate the depth of Arthur's stupidity.
"In my defense, I found them" Arthur muttered under his breath, standing up and looking around outside their tiny cell. Rows and rows of iron gates could be seen, a villager's head popping through to look around every few minutes. "What do you think these people want with us?"
"Oh, I don't know" Merlin ground out sarcastically before Leon could answer, "I think they want to invite us to their Yuletide celebration. Or maybe they are just really lonely and want some more friends. What do you think they want us for? They're slavers!"
"Well, they can take you" Arthur spit out, glaring at Merlin. "Though they'd most likely return you after a few minutes".
The knights chuckled at Arthur's comment, which was just plain rude. Though if he was being honest, one of Merlin's great strengths was the ability to talk his way out of (and into if he was being completely honest) tricky situations. Percival clapped him on the back, sending Merlin reeling into Elyan. The man ruffled his hair and stepped forward to stand next to Arthur.
"You bring up a good point, my liege. They concealed themselves well. Given their numbers, we should have seen signs of their forces in the forest". Elyan's gloved hand quickly worked its way along the iron bars, searching for a non-existent weakness. "I fear we may be dealing with foul forces, sire".
Merlin huffed. Elyan wasn't wrong. But of all the times to realize they were dealing with magical forces, it wasn't when Gaius was possessed by a goblin, when Uther was dating a troll, or when Arthur was dying from the Eye of the Phoenix. Nope, it's when some slavers hid a bit too well in the woods. Go figure.
"Perhaps a sorcerer? Or merely a magical bauble?" Arthur asked, joining his knight at their prison's bars.
"I don't think any bauble could hide an army in the woods. The sorcerer is the most likely option". Leon agreed easily. Merlin rolled his eyes. It should be obvious by now, even to the knights.
"Oh come on. It's obvious, isn't it?"
The others looked at Merlin in varying states of confusion. Why must he always be the one to do the thinking around here? "What sorcerer could possibly want to capture Arthur?"
The man in question sighed, "Merlin, not everything bad that happens around here is due to Morgana".
"Oh really? Because so far, everything has been! Yes, slaves fetch a pretty price on the market, but why would the slavers venture so far outside their territory? Lot's lands are much easier prey. But instead, they venture deep into Camelot not once, not twice, but three times and completely empty villages. Don't be a clotpole, Arthur, Morgana was baiting us. And she succeeded! You're right where she wanted you!"
Slow clapping grew louder and louder as footsteps meandered down the dungeon hall. Merlin groaned as the Lady Morgana stepped into view, looking as disheveled as ever. Really, a year in exile and suddenly Morgana forgot how to wash or comb her hair.
"I am impressed, Merlin. You've figured me out. Oh, a bit too late, but that's okay. You've always been a bit slow". Morgana ruffled his hair from outside the cell before he could step away. He grimaced, glaring at Morgana when she sent a wicked grin his way. She then turned her focus to Arthur.
"Ah, brother dear. So glad you could join us. I have great plans for you, but there's no need to rush". A sickly sweet smile spread across her face, eyes glinting with wicked intent. "I'm sure your precious knights wouldn't want you to fall before they did. At least they can die knowing that you still live…for now".
"Morgana" Arthur bit out. "Why must you constantly prove Merlin right?"
Merlin groaned and shook his head. Of course, he wouldn't bring up all the times she'd invaded or all the people she'd killed. Because clearly her greatest crime was proving Merlin right.
"I think the real question is why must she always be so predictable" Merlin muttered not nearly quietly enough. Arthur glared at him, and for once Merlin took his point. Self-preservation. Definitely not his strong suit.
"The most pressing concern for you, Morgana, is how you plan to keep us here". Arthur folded his arms and glared resolutely at his sister. Merlin refocused his attention. This would be interesting at the very least. "The sorcerer Emyrs was kept well apprised of our situation and will step in if we need assistance".
Morgana laughed…really, even her laugh had grown evil and witchy. The woman was a walking talking stereotype. Merlin was a little offended. "You think you'll fool me with borrowed names and promises of magical retribution? Everyone knows you've followed our father's teachings, Arthur. You wouldn't ask for magical help if your life depended on it".
Arthur nodded, "Not if my life depended on it, certainly. But the lives of my knights and villagers? There is nothing I wouldn't do to protect Camelot, Morgana, even if that sometimes means consorting with sorcerers".
"Right". Morgana's voice was laced with the same doubt running through Merlin's head mixed with a bit of fearful trepidation at the name of Emyrs. "Well, until your pet sorcerer decides to make an appearance, I think I'll start your lessons. The first lesson, my dear brother, is a review. Something our dear departed father taught you as a child". Her mouth transformed into her signature smirk, "Always remember your station".
The gate opened, guards with pikes ready to attack anyone who so much as made a twitch in the wrong direction. Merlin cried out in shock as Morgana's hand snatched a piece of his hair and yanked him out of the cell. He tripped and fell to the floor, legs hopelessly tangled in their bindings. Morgana just laughed, kicking him in the ribs once before her guards hauled him to his feet. Arthur stood against the gates, an uncharacteristic look of worry on his face that was soon overtaken by rage. "Oh brother dear, what ever would he say if he could see you now? Friends with a servant? A foreign servant with no semblance of propriety or deference? How disappointed he would be" Morgana tutted, her sharp nail tracing Arthur's jaw.
"At least I didn't murder his people and lay siege to his castle" Merlin muttered, glaring at Morgana from his place between the two guards. She stared at him in disbelief for a moment, then laughed. "Oh Merlin, I think we are going to have such fun together! Don't worry brother dear, I'll take care of the problem for you. Maybe teach the runt a bit of respect before executing him for his crimes".
The witch gestured at her guards and they began to drag Merlin out to his fate. Back in the cell Arthur paced angrily while Gwaine muttered, "Well, anyone know how to contact a sorcerer? Because I know we don't have one watching our backs and if we don't do something fast, Merlin's not going to be around to say 'I told you so' ".
Merlin fought with the guards as they dragged him down the hall. They were out of the dungeons now and headed toward what was probably used as a tavern. Right. This couldn't be allowed to continue. Luckily for him, Morgana's back was to him. He quickly whispered a sleeping spell, the guards and Morgana dropping at the same time. The spell would keep the guardsmen out for enough time, but Morgana was strong. Knowing there was little time to waste, Merlin searched the lining of his jacket for the aging potion he always kept on hand. Downing it in one gulp, he turned back to the stirring Morgana. Along with his physical change he projected a change of clothes on himself as well as a mirage of regular servant Merlin standing behind him. Might as well make this convincing.
Morgana gasped as she came to. "Emyrs".
"You've gone too far once again, Morgana" his voice crackled, along with just about every bone in his body. Why did he choose this disguise again? "Camelot and the Prince are under my protection. If you are wise, you will leave these lands and scratch out your pitiful existence elsewhere".
Morgana made to rise, but Emyrs chanted determinedly until the young woman fell to slumber once more. His joints protested as he stood straighter. He missed his old man walking stick desperately. He let the illusion of Merlin fade, then started the slow trek to the dungeons.
He'd barely entered the dungeon hall when he was accosted by some of Morgana's more eager men. Luckily (for him) they were not smart enough to sneak up on him, instead choosing a frontal assault. Fools. They were out cold before they could even scream.
As he walked down the hall, Emyrs blasted the locks on the villager's cell doors, allowing them to flood out behind him. Finally he reached the end of the hall where Arthur's cell was, only to find them all pressed against the cell door, desperately trying to see what was happening. They stared at Emyrs like goldfish, mouths hanging open in shock. Emrys merely laughed.
"Are you going to stand there all day like baby birds waiting for their meal? Do shut your mouth, Percival. You could catch a horse in there". All the knight's mouths audibly snapped shut. Arthur just glared. Oh, this would be great fun.
"I believe you called, Your Highness". Emyrs completed an overdramatic bow, though he regretted it instantly. Stupid old man disguises with crackling joints and bad hips. "Now move away from the door so I can let your ridiculous knights out".
They did has he asked, mouths opening and shutting the whole while. The whole group, townspeople and knights alike, followed him as he strode out of the dungeon. Or hobbled. Whatever.
"While your arrival was timely, how on earth did you find us?" Gwaine asked, drawing a glare from Arthur and Leon. He merely shrugged, answering their glares, "Well I certainly didn't find a way to call him. And no matter what you say, Arthur, I'll never believe that you had him keep tabs on us like a barkeep in a tavern".
Emyrs cackled, "Certainly not. I have my ways, young knight". He then resigned himself to a flurry of questions he refused to answer all the way out of the slaver's lair. The only one he did respond to was Gwaine's demands to go back in to look for Merlin. "The brave, scrawny servant will be waiting in the woods". He replied, pointedly ignoring Arthur's snort at the word "brave".
Yes, it was good to have a disguise ready at all times. Even if it did come with some unpleasant side effects. Merlin turned to Arthur, grin carefully hidden behind the wizened face of Emyrs, "I don't suppose you would give an old man a ride to the woods, would you?"