Skratch groaned, a painful throb inhabiting his skull. As his eyes slowly adjusted to the darkness, he smelled the dank drips of Mt. Moon, the sloppy Zubat spit, which he began to drink with feral intensity. He looked down. He was tied to a chair with an escape rope, a feeling which awakened a locked fetish. To his right lay Pikachu on the cave floor, a pool of blood and liquor oozing from his head. It must be Wednesday again, thought Skratch, as he yet again began to drink like a parched sailor lost at sea. The fearsome behemoth that had made the two insentient was nowhere to be found. He shuddered. It would not be ideal to be here when Clefable came back.
Sudden thundering footsteps scared Skratch's dentures out. It's her! Each stomp imitated the sound of a Groudon, except unlike Groudon, this sound was out for blood and drugs.
A flawless and perfect idea crossed Skratch's forehead. With all his being, he chomped down on the escape rope. Use the escape rope? Skratch nodded to the gods of fiber and hemp so hard he dislocated his neck and passed out for another three hours. Suddenly, Clefable's burly chin entered the room, the escape rope tightened around Skratch's neck and the room started to spin.
Escape success! Take that you burlesque swine!
Skratch's was yanked upwards into the ceiling, utilizing Skratch's head as the ultimate battering ram. He hurtled through a mile of solid moonstone and crashed headfirst through an Arbok den, gaining 300 exp in the process and severe poisoning. Mt. Moon erupted, but instead of magma and flames, a decrepit masochist burst out the top. Skratch would have been in a state of ecstasy if he was conscious.
Back in the cave, Pikachu's lungs began to fill with his own blood. In dazed, blinking stupor he had just witnessed an unreasonable scene. Skratch, his slave, had just bitten down on his fetters with delirious passion, his eyes filled with a manic pleasure as he presumed his escape was only seconds away. It was a truly pitiful scene as an agonizing three minutes passed while Pikachu's lungs drowned in his life juice to the sound of his idiot mule biting at his chains. Yet, it was as if Arceus had smiled upon the poor idiot Skratch, for his prayer was answered. Annoyed by the audacity and noise of her two prisoners, Clefable had come into the room with immeasurable fury and proceeded to choke Skratch with the rope. Then, as if the Olympian Hercules himself had possessed the body of Clefable, she seized the limp body of Skratch and with deft and ungodly speed, flung his body through the ceiling in the cave. It had never been an Escape Rope.
Pikachu thought to himself, in awestruck wonder, I didn't know spines could bend like that. A sudden burst of inspiration shot through Pikachu's mind. That's right, perhaps, that may be able to solve all of their problems. He took a deep breath. He harnessed his inner strength, his chi, his soul and inner being, and took a taser from his pocket and jammed it into Clefable's rear end. Now, THIS is a lifeline, THIS is an Escape Rope. The setting was set to deep fry, and deep fry it did. Clefable's pink tush underwent the Maillard reaction and became crumbly and brown, like a marshmallow in a furnace. However, much to Pikachu's surprise, an evil sneer came across Clefable. From betwixt Clefable's burnt cheeks a Burn Heal slowly slid out, spraying the charred bottom, and restoring the burnt cells with printer-like precision.
"But how?!" Pikachu cried. "How do you know how to use man-made items?"
"I was once a man."