LOVE IN A TIME OF CALAMITY
Part 2: After Catastrophe
Chapter 17: The Funeral, Part 5 - Zelda's Acceptance
Small author's note at bottom.
Chapter Warnings: None
Moonlight illuminated the rows of gray headstones in cool, silvery light, contrasted by spheres of yellow from the glowing lanterns hanging off posts placed throughout the new wing of the graveyard. It had been over an hour since Zelda bid goodnight to the small group of remaining mourners. It was late—Zelda didn't know how late, but the heaviness in her frame suggested well past time for her to head back to the castle and retire. Yet despite the exhaustion of her body, her heart was antsy and fretful. Even if she were to try she knew sleep would not yet come. Throughout the ceremony she had, with great effort, maintained a facade of collected calm, smothering the bursts of emotion which had struck her repeatedly throughout the day. Now, her heart was tired and aching, in dire need of release. The cemetery was quiet and deserted; here the Princess of Hyrule could privately mourn.
The young, recently planted trees and flowers gave the space a barren feeling, which Zelda noted wryly matched the emotional tenor behind its creation; and her current mood. Her feet dragged as she walked down the newly laid gravel path toward the courtyard in the center of the wing, where a large boulder featured a carving depicting the battle for Hyrule. The stone formation had been there when they'd began construction, and after some debate with the Goron workers, she'd decided it best to leave it rather than attempt to remove such a large obstacle. It had been one of the workers who'd suggested incorporating it into the cemetery's design, and Impa who'd suggested the carving.
The gravel path circled the boulder, fringed by wooden benches and bordered by a low wooden fence. Small leafy shrubs were planted in freshly upturned earth on the other side of the fence, nubile and flimsy, spaced apart so as to one day to grow together and be trimmed into a hedge wall. Posts sporting glowing lanterns were buried in the earth next to each bench, while a dozen or so pillar candles had been placed at the base of the stone to illuminate its design and inscription well into the night; though under the bright light of the waxing moon, the candles seemed less practical and more ornamental. Halting her weary strides before the stone formation, she gazed at the inscription, reading it aloud mostly to herself, but still audibly enough for the benefit of her company, standing but a foot behind her.
"Here lie those that fell to the 2nd Great Calamity. May their sacrifices never be forgotten, and may the valor and heroism shown by Hyrule's champions be always honored."
Zelda shook her head. She'd wanted the plaque to simply consist of the first line; but by the time she'd made it far enough in her planning to begin work on the graveyard, the council had begun to stick its nose into things. Though well-intentioned, the star-struck counselor from Necluda, Koda Danaphor, had insisted on the second, and his enthusiasm had caught on to much of the rest of the council. She'd been too exhausted to fight over such a small detail, and so had let it drop. Though that didn't stop her nose wrinkling slightly in displeasure at the self-aggrandizing nature of it.
The carving on the stone didn't help that matter, either. Depicted in a simple pictogram was an etching of the castle in the distance, a giant boar-like creature in the fore, with a young woman enshrouded in light floating above it and a lone swordsman standing before it. Off to the sides were etchings of each of the divine beasts, with a Goron, Zora, Rito, and Gerudo standing beside them. Impa's reasoning for the image had been to keep alive the legend of Ganon so that hundreds or thousands of years from now, records would be left for the next Princess and Hero. She couldn't argue with her logic, as it had been such records that had enabled them to learn from the lessons of the first great Calamity. Besides, the images were simple enough so as not to depict her likeness with any true clarity, but it still made her uncomfortable to be shining such a light on herself during the funeral of others.
Zelda sighed, turning her gaze away from the stone carving and out across the field. Rows upon rows of nearly-identical headstones covered the grassy expanse, their gray stone shining silver in the moonlight. It had been a special kind of unnerving to meet the families of so many of these people today, to put context and circumstance together. But she'd held herself high and put her feelings aside: these people were hurting, and they'd needed her support. As insubstantial as it had seemed to her, simply offering her condolences to many had been enough to bring them to tears, thanking her profusely for her efforts and kindness.
She turned her head slightly over her shoulder, glancing at Link out of the corner of her eye with a touch of sorrow as she spoke.
"I know most of their names by heart, you know," she said, as she gestured with her hand out across the field at the rows of graves. Returning her gaze to them, she heard Link move to stand beside her. He didn't respond, but she didn't mind. It had been somewhat of a rhetorical statement anyway.
"So many people today seemed so grateful just for this, and yet it doesn't feel like enough. I feel like I've cheated them of some greater recompense."
Silence hung in the air before Link turned his head to look at her.
"You can't bring them back from the dead."
She stilled at his words. That was… that was it, wasn't it? The source of her guilt. Nothing she did to honor their memories in her mind would be enough because what she really wanted was for them to still be alive.
Her voice was soft as she responded, "No. I suppose I can't."
After several moments of silent contemplation, Zelda moved on from the stone carving, turning left to continue walking down one of the side paths into the rows of gravestones. Link followed silently behind her. As she passed, she recognized some of the names etched into the stone. Some were those whose voices she'd heard before the Castle Town Gates, others were the deceased friends or family of those she'd met this evening, still others were names she'd become familiar with on the list of the dead as she'd planned this whole affair. One name in particular, a gravestone placed right beside the path, caused her to stop. Turning she approached and knelt before it, fingers brushing the carved letters: Normin Monroe. So this is where he ended…
"Did you know him?" came link's quiet voice from behind her.
Zelda's hand lingered over the letters, the pads of her fingers dipping into the grooves.
"I never met him while he was still alive," she said softly, "He was one of the Castle Town guard. He came from a poor family, and had joined only a few years ago. He was deeply in love with his childhood best friend, a young woman named Sari," here she paused, closing her eyes against the emotions which welled within her. It wasn't fair. He hadn't deserved to die.
"He adored her: the way she laughed, the blue of her eyes, her kind and giving nature. He'd been saving every penny so as to confess his feelings and propose, a man of means capable of supporting her. He never got the chance."
Zelda slowly stood, taking a step back from the headstone but keeping her eyes locked to his name. A tightness gripped her throat.
"How do you know all that?" Link asked with quiet confusion.
Zelda turned her head towards his, meeting his piercing gaze. She couldn't stop the tears from welling in her eyes as she answered him in a whisper, the turbulence roiling beneath the surface of her mind stealing her voice.
"They were his dying thoughts. I heard them as we approached the Castle Town gates."
Link's eyes softened as he held her gaze. Without a word he turned to her, taking a step forward with arms outstretched and embracing her, wrapping both arms firmly but gently around her shoulders. Zelda froze in surprise, but it was only a moment before the tenderness of his embrace opened the floodgates of her emotions, releasing all that she'd held back that day.
Burying her head into his shoulder, she flung her arms around him, gripping the back of his light blue tabard tightly as sobs rocked through her. Link said nothing as she began to cry in earnest; but he did hold her a little bit tighter. The emotions flooded through her, stronger and faster than she could process. Though counter to the habit developed over the course of her life, she was too exhausted to fight it and simply let it all flow, allowing herself to freely feel the grief lodged in her heart unmolested by her overly-analytical mind. After several minutes, slowly, her tears eased, and her grip on Link's tabard loosened, but she did not remove herself from his embrace.
Now that her sobs had eased, she could hear Link's breathing in her ear, strong and steady and full of life. The sound of its rhythm soothed her, and his strong arms warmed her against the encroaching nighttime chill. Though part of her wanted to do anything but, she didn't want to overstep her bounds; slowly she pulled away, immediately missing his warmth. She looked up into his eyes meeting his warm gaze with a pained smile, gratitude plain on her face. Until he'd embraced her she hadn't realized that it was exactly what she'd needed.
"Thank you."
He met her gaze with an intense but unreadable expression, though it wasn't unkind. Then, he smiled, the angular set of his jaw prominent in the shadowy light. As she released him, she looked to the moon to hide her blush, ignoring the butterflies his smile had elicited within her.
A silent observer, it hung suspended in the sky watching over them as it had all the rulers before her—her father, his father, his father before him… This burden of leadership was so new to her, yet already it felt so heavy. Had they all struggled like this, at least in the beginning? Goddesses help her if it never got any easier. Returning her gaze earthward, she looked once more out over the graveyard, quietly giving voice to her thoughts.
"I've only been Regent a short while and already I am beginning to better understand my father; why at times he was so cold." She sighed heavily, seeing in her mind's eye the tear-streaked faces of the survivors she'd met that evening, mourning the loss of their loved ones. "Leadership is a heavy burden."
Link glanced sidelong at her, "It doesn't need to be a solitary one."
Zelda caught his eye, smiling softly before averting her gaze. "Thank you. I do feel I've been needing frequent reminders of late."
As she gazed intently at the newly planted flora in thought, he spoke again.
"It does bear saying, though: you lead well."
Turning, she met his gaze with pleased surprise. She couldn't help but warm at the comment. "Do you really think so?"
His eyes were kind and tone sincere as he nodded with a small smile on his lips, "You brought hurting people closure, you made their pain feel seen and understood—and, for the most part, you pacified the council. Honestly I don't know how you managed it all."
Zelda grimaced, thinking back to her insomnia-fueled work-binge as she averted her gaze once more, in embarrassment. "Well… I suppose you saw how I managed it; which is to say I didn't, really."
"You just needed a little help. This—" he gestured with an arm out towards the graveyard, "—was all your doing."
Zelda looked around her at the lonesome graveyard, its many rows of identical headstones awash in mournful moonlight. "I suppose so."
Link quirked an eyebrow. "Do you need a few more crying widows blessing your benevolence to believe you did the right thing?"
Despite herself, Zelda laughed. "Alright. Point taken."
Link grinned smugly, a rare expression. Zelda smiled at the sight. Sighing with newfound contentment, she allowed her thoughts to drift as they continued walking at a slow pace down the path. Though the day had been trying, she was grateful for it to be over. In the days leading up to the funeral, it had consumed her horizon, making her feel trapped in the Calamity's aftermath and obscuring the future. Now that it was over, she could finally see with clarity what would and could come next; and she was rather looking forward to what was next.
"It will be good to visit Zora's Domain and Rito Village, even if the reason for our visit is a somber one. I'm ready to travel again. I've been cooped up in that room far too long."
Link's face fell at the mention of Zora's Domain, and though he quickly tried to hide it, Zelda had already seen. Despite her own hardships, in the back of her mind she'd worried about how he was handling Mipha's death. She knew they'd been close, though she didn't know the specifics of their relationship. Every time Mipha or the Champions or their upcoming visit to Zora's Domain was mentioned his eyes hardened, even if only slightly; Zelda had been around him long enough now to know that, for him, it was a sign of significant pain. She contemplated for a moment how to inquire about how he was doing, deciding on a casual approach.
She subtly glanced at him out of the corner of her eye as she spoke softly. "You know… In all this we have spoken much of my feelings; but… what of yours?"
Link hesitated, looking away. His posture became tense, though he tried to hide it. For a moment Zelda felt a little bit of hurt at his rebuff. Would he still insist on keeping his feelings hidden? How much of her own vulnerability had he been privy to? But she was being unfair; just as she'd needed her time, so too did he need his. She couldn't push this.
She took a step towards him and turned to face him fully. Gently she reached for his hand, holding it between both of hers. Though his arm was tense, he allowed her touch. She spoke softly as she met his guarded gaze.
"Link?"
He eyed her for a moment, expression unreadable, before slowly bowing his head, the tension in his shoulders easing. When he spoke his voice was rough.
"I'm not—I don't…" he sighed, running his free hand down his face before taking a breath and continuing, "Death has been a constant in my life, but never have I lost anyone I was close with. And with everything going on… I'm not really sure how I feel. Not yet."
Zelda stared at the man before her, suddenly seeing him in a different light. Though he stood just as erect and alert as he always did, though he performed his duty just as flawlessly as he always had, the signs of wear were beginning to show as their journey to Zora's Domain approached. Today had been hard on him, too, and he was doing just as she'd done not long ago: hiding sorrow behind duty, behind the demands being placed on him. Had he too lacked a moment of self-reflection to process these losses?
It was she who initiated this hug, leaning forward to wrap her arms around him, taking him by surprise. He stiffened at her touch, and so she held him tighter, a silent 'I'm not letting you go.' After a moment more he relaxed into her embrace, exhaling a long breath. He didn't speak, but he did lift his arms to wrap around her back, holding her tightly. It was answer enough.
As they separated Link momentarily caught her eye, gratitude shining from within his blue orbs. He then looked up into the sky, eying the moon critically.
"It's getting late. We should return to the castle before Impa sends a search party."
Though she knew he was changing the subject, she didn't argue. He wasn't ready to talk about it, so she would give him the space he needed to feel ready.
"Yes, I suppose you're right. Tomorrow will be my last day to finalize reconstruction plans with her before our departure, I rather should be as well rested as I can be."
Turning on her heel, Zelda followed the path back to the central stone carving, giving it a brief rueful glance as she continued towards the cemetery's entrance. Heading out of the graveyard, the two of them walked side by side in comfortable silence along the road back to Castle Town.
From the rear of the cemetery, in a corner shrouded by darkness, a figure clad in red wearing a white mask painted with a red eye peered out from behind a gravestone, gaze lingering on the pair as they strode away, before disappearing in a puff of smoke.
END OF PART 2
A/N: Aaah, we've reached the end of Part 2! Now we have our overzealous artist, our snooping journalist, and our power hungry nobleman all out on the chess board! I would really love to know what you guys think so far. What are your theories? Were you surprised by the turn things took? What do you think of the characters? Are you excited for part 3?
Leave me your thoughts in a review! I need something to help me get through the slog of bureaucracy. Taxes are the absolute worst.
Follow and Fav. See you all in a month or two!