LOVE IN A TIME OF CALAMITY
Part 3: Letting Go
Chapter 19: Questions in the Night

A/N: Welcome back everyone! Not doing too bad with my goal of monthly updates. If you follow me on Tumblr you probably already saw this, but I am working on a small illustration for each chapter of LIATOC. I've only done a few so far, but I aim to have a new illustration for each chapter published going forward. I can't upload them here, but you can view them on AO3 or Tumblr (details in my profile). I'd love it if you checked them out! I hope everyone enjoys the new chapter, and don't forget to review!

Chapter Warnings: none

It was early evening when the group arrived at the entrance to Zora's Domain. It had taken longer than expected to reach the city due to bokoblins, lizalfos, and moblins hiding out along the winding path through the mountains; though Link had, in short order, demonstrated the needlessness of Barlow's accompaniment in how quickly and efficiently he dispatched the monsters—without Barlow's aid.

As the group crossed the first bridge into the Domain proper, Zelda slowed Ponli's gait upon seeing the group of Zora standing in wait on the center island. An older green-skinned Zora stepped forward, bowing only slightly; though his posture indicated respectable formality, his narrowed eyes, which remained locked on the Princess, showed instead halfheartedly-veiled contempt.

"Welcome, Princess, to Zora's Domain. I am Muzu, the King's adviser."

Though weary from the day's travel and wary of her rather unfriendly host, Zelda forced a smile anyway, hastily donning a facade of polite formality.

"It is a pleasure to meet you, Muzu. Though I'm sure you've already met, this is my Knight, Link," she gestured to her left where Link sat astride Epona, "And one of my Guards for this journey, Barlow," To her right, Barlow nodded.

"Pleasure, sir!"

Muzu smiled greenly before gesturing to the black-skinned Zora beside him with an impatient flick of the wrist.

"Master Oran will take care of your horses. If you'd care to follow me, I will lead you to your quarters."

Zelda neatly dismounted, handing off Ponli's reigns to a shy but smiling Oran with a quiet "Thank you." Following behind Muzu, the group began the long walk up the promenade leading into the heart of the Domain, the massive fish tail sculpture towering above them and shadowing their walk along the bridge.

Muzu kept up an irritatingly imperious monotone about the Domain's history as they neared the central plaza—all things Zelda had learned long ago over the course of her schooling; and so she gave only halfhearted attention, her mind occupied by other matters—namely the rapidly approaching meeting with King Dorephan.

"The city is one giant sculpture," Muzu droned proudly, "All carved out of the proto-luminous stone which makes up the bulk of the Domain. Hundreds of years ago a—"

"Welcome to Zora's Domain, travelers! Don't forget to stop in at the Seabed Inn for a good nights rest on our luxury water beds; or sample some of our fine selection of premium wines and spiri—"

Muzu turned, an ugly scowl covering his features as he walked over to a blue-skinned Zora waving at their party from the doorway of the nearby Inn. As soon as the Zora caught sight of Muzu's expression, his smile instantly faded and he took a halting step back.

"Master Kayden, please! You will withhold your sales pitch in the presence of the Princess! And for the Godess' sake, show some respect!"

Kayden looked properly chastised as he turned his attention to the rest of the group and realized a bit too late all of whom were present. Hurriedly, he bowed his head towards the Princess.

"Your Highness, Master Link, I sincerely apologize—I did not realize you were there. Welcome to Zora's Domain. And…" The Zora looked up, his chagrin momentarily fading as he nodded to Barlow. "It's good to see you again, Barlow. It's been too long."

Zelda glanced side-long at Barlow who likewise looked enthused to see the Zora; yet, as expected of a knight of his standing, he stalwartly maintained a formal posture and expression as he nodded politely to the Zora in response.

"You as well."

Zelda returned her attention to Kayden and smiled warmly.

"Thank you, Master Kayden. It is always a pleasure to visit the Domain, even under such circumstances. And please, do not worry, I take no offense." Gesturing with curiosity towards Barlow, she inquired, "Do you know my guard?"

Muzu looked sour at her easy dismissal, but did not speak. Kayden nodded in response, smiling a little more broadly as he spoke.

"Yes, your Highness—we're old friends. Barlow used to be stationed here during the Electric Keese Crisis a decade or so ago. Saved my life quite a few times."

Barlow nodded awkwardly, the tips of his ears a bit pink at the praise; yet Zelda noted the hint of a boyish grin hiding behind his eyes. Zelda glanced between the two, surprised by how touched she felt at the brief exchange. Perhaps it was simply the rawness of Link's words the night prior beside the fire, but she felt inexpressibly distraught at the prospect of two friends being reunited after so long, denied an opportunity to spend time together because of one's duty. It rang too painfully of the tragedy Link was now suffering—of the time he didn't get to spend with Mipha before she died. Did things always have to turn out this way?

Suddenly, Zelda stilled. They… didn't. At least not here, not this time. Barlow was under her command—and truthfully, she had no need for him tonight. All she had planned was to settle into the Royal quarters and turn in early. Between the Zora guards stationed throughout the Domain and Link's ready presence in the guard's quarters above her own, she would be quite well protected; there was no pressing need for Barlow to remain on duty… She smiled.

"Barlow, take the night off," she announced, turning to him. "You can catch up if you would like. There is no reason our visit must be a solely mournful affair, and now that we are in the safety of the Domain Link is more than sufficient guard for the evening. You may return to duty by sunrise."

Barlow turned to her in surprise, uncertain but clearly interested in the prospect.

"Are… are you certain your Highness? There will be other opportunities to catch up with old friends—your safety comes first."

"Yes, I am certain," she replied, smiling, "Please, take some time for yourself while we have the opportunity."

Barlow smiled broadly, bowing before her.

"Thank you, your Highness. I am extremely grateful. I will escort you to your chambers before departing."

Muzu looked disdainful as he glanced between Barlow and Kayden, but said nothing on the matter. Turning back to her and Link, his face melted once again into a suspiciously blank slate as he gestured ahead of them towards the bridge leading to the royal quarters. It was a lone two-story building on the western side of the Domain, built atop a solitary spire between the outer ring of the Domain and the central plaza. It had been built many decades prior as relations between the Zora and other races of Hyrule grew stronger and stronger, and foreign leaders came to visit more frequently. It had been a while since Zelda had last stayed there—when she'd come to formally accept Mipha's answer regarding Vah Ruta. A frown tugged at her lips. Despite the happiness she felt at being able to offer this small kindness to Barlow and Kayden, the memory unsettled her.

"Shall we, your Highness?"

Shaking her head to rid herself of that train of thought, she straightened, offering a polite smile as she followed after.

"Yes, of course. Please lead on, Master Muzu."

-:-:-:-

Zelda settled onto the cushioned bench against the wall beneath the open-air windows facing the bridge, and subsequently, the heart of the Domain. The large tail which rose high above the central plaza glowed brightly in the encroaching evening twilight as she opened the book she had pulled from her pack: "The History of the Royal Family of Hyrule, Volume I". She had pulled it from the Royal Library which had, much to her joy and relief, been relatively undamaged by the Calamity, prior to their departure. She hoped that in the spare time she had over the course of their journey she might be able to uncover some information about the nature of the power which ran through the female line. Her experiences over the past few weeks proved that there was far more to this sealing power than simply the ability to banish Ganon, and she was determined to figure out all she was truly capable of.

And… reading helped her cope.

She had been so eager to leave the castle that she hadn't quite processed, at least emotionally, what she was leaving the castle to do; and now that she was here the emotional aftershocks of the calamity she had been learning to manage were roiling once more.

But it was okay… it was okay, she could deal with this. Link had helped her learn to deal with this. Closing her eyes, she cleared her mind and breathed deeply, exhaling slowly and focusing on the feeling of breath departing her lungs before refilling them with the crisp, fresh air of the watery domain.

Though it had been hard, the funeral had helped. It felt good, right, for the losses to be recognized. Despite the rather callous disregard of some on the council, she had nonetheless been able to honor them as they deserved to be honored. Though she had allowed herself no tears that day, at least not publicly, she had grieved with her subjects as she walked amongst them. Though deep in her heart a dark, vicious part of herself whispered that it was her fault—that she deserved these people's hatred—their kindness and gratitude had acted as a soothing balm to her doubt and despair. She'd felt kinship with them; had felt less alone in her grief.

Yes, Mipha was gone. Yes, she still felt responsibility for her death. But… no amount of guilt or regret would change what had happened. There was only acceptance, only trying to carry on with respect for her sacrifice. There was still much to do for those who had survived, and Zelda knew Mipha would not want her to abandon those who still lived to wallow in the memory of those who did not. Zelda would grieve her friend forevermore, just as she did her mother—but she would not let it consume her.

Opening her eyes, Zelda felt the cool track of a tear upon her face. Lifting a shaky hand she wiped it away, taking another deep breath. It was okay.

Opening the tome to the location of her bookmark, Zelda turned her attention to the text. Perhaps, if she was lucky, she might be able to find some leads before bed.

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

Link leaned against the railing of the balcony which circled the upper level of the Royal Quarters—the balcony of the guards' chamber, where it overlooked the whole of the Domain. It had been created originally, he knew, for the Royal Family's personal guards to keep watch for any potential intruders; but Link found it also served as a bittersweet vista of the sprawling Zora city. What had, to him, once been a beautiful and peaceful place filled with nostalgia for his youth, was now instead a living monument to childhood memories newly painted with the ocher of grief.

He could see where he and Mipha had played tag in the central square, where they had practiced diving from the waterfalls cascading off the Domain's walkways; he could see Kayden's Inn, where they had terrorized guests stopping in for a meal. Memories which had once been joyful and precious now turned bitter and rancid in his heart.

Unbidden, Link felt a welling of emotion within him, white-hot and burning—a feeling which startled him with its severity. Squeezing his eyes shut against the pain, he quickly pushed it away, shoving it in a box and locking the lid. He knew what it was; it had been creeping up on him with every step Epona took along the winding road into the Domain. Even if he and Mipha had become somewhat more distant after the sword chose him, he had never ceased to think of her, to care for her. And now… she was…

Link pushed himself away from the railing, turning sharply from the amber and blue of the city and towards his chamber door. However, before he made it more than a handful of steps, something caught the corner of his eye. Down where the bridge to the Royal chambers met the commons was a Hylian, walking with a meandering, clumsy stride as he made his way toward the building. Squinting against the setting sunlight, Link was able to better make out his features. It was Barlow, red faced and grinning madly.

Link sighed heavily, rubbing his eyes. He'd seen this many, many times as a trainee. Being much younger than the other recruits, he was unable to join the men at the tavern on their nights off—and often instead found himself carrying his fellow soldiers, red-faced and stumbling, back to the barracks. It seemed this would be such an evening as well. With a groan, Link turned toward the stairs instead of the doorway into his chamber, hurrying down the steps.

As he approached the man halfway across the bridge, Barlow stumbled, clumsily extending an arm to grasp Link's shoulder and grinning, if possible, even more broadly.

"Link, m'boy! Oh, its good to see you! Isn' the Domain just…" he gestured wildly around him at the blue stonework glowing dimly in the golden light of sunset, "…grand, this time'a day? Never get tired of it."

Link nodded absently, slipping an arm under his companion as he helped support the man's weight and lead him across the bridge, careful to maintain the appearance of casual camaraderie. It wouldn't do to have Barlow caught stumbling drunkenly through the Domain. It would reflect poorly on Zelda, and besides… Muzu disliked Hylians enough as it was. No need to add fuel to that fire. Although… Taking a quick glance around, it didn't look like anyone was nearby. At least he had that to be thankful for.

"Let's head back to the guards' quarters," suggested Link. Though he'd aimed for candor, he couldn't seem to keep the bite from his tone—and Barlow, it seemed wasn't quite drunk enough to miss it.

Turning his head towards him, he frowned.

"What… whyyy? You don't wanna enjoy the Domain? It's so pretty right now!"

Link kept his face impassive as he fought to restrain his annoyance.

"It is very… pretty; but I've been here plenty. Right now lets just get you back to the guards' quarters so you can rest. It's been a long day."

Barlow looked at him suspiciously, "Alllllright you. Just 'cuz I spent the afternoon with Kayden at the Seabed Inn doesn' mean we were drinking from his selection of fine wines and spirits the whole time. We were… we…"

Barlow trailed off, eyes scrunched in concentration to which Link gave a pointed, silent look. Though he showed momentary affront, Barlow quickly deflated.

"Well… okay, may—maybe I did have a bit too much to drink…"

Link repressed a snort.

"I learned sumthin' 'portant tonight, Link," he said seriously, squinting as he met Link's unamused gaze. "I'm gettin' ooooold…!" he crowed, attempting to wave the arm around Link's shoulder, "That Zora lifespan! Kayden still drinks like he did back when I was twenny-eight! But I guess fer him, he… still… kind of is." His expression fell, and a small frown worked its way onto his face. "'S kinda sad if you think about it… He's still so young 'n I'm… so old…"

Link said nothing, focusing instead on gently kicking in the door to the guard's chamber and hauling the man inside.

Link led him through the finely, if sparsely, furnished room to the water bed on the opposite side, gently setting him down upon it as Barlow released a huff. Turning towards the small table at the center of the room, he poured a tall glass of water from the provided pitcher, then handed it to the man before sitting upon his own bed opposite the other.

"Drink that—all of it. You'll thank me in the morning."

Pulling off his boots and setting them neatly beside his bed, Link leaned back on the pillows, arms behind his head as he gazed at the intricately carved ceiling. From his left Link could hear sloppy gulping and the rustling of leather and cotton as Barlow struggled to shrug off his boots and armor. He largely ignored the older man's efforts, his duty now done, allowing his thoughts to once more roam. Unsurprisingly, they returned unbidden to the reason he was here in the first place. A frown tugged on his lips as his mind began to sink into his earlier thoughts. Mipha…

"Heyyy, Link?"

With a start, Link turned his head towards the drowsy voice of Barlow. The man was likewise resting on his back, staring at the ceiling with half-lidded eyes. He wasn't sure how much time had passed, so absorbed was he in his own morbid thoughts—but judging by the drowsy state of the man next to him, it had been a while at least.

Barlow turned his squinting eyes towards Link, looking almost confusedly curious.

"I… I gotta ask. 'S been burnin' a hole in my head all day. Whas… whas goin' on between you an' the Princess? Looked aaawful cozy by the campfire yesserday…"

Link immediately tensed, heat rushing to his face. Shit! He'd… he'd seen that? As calmly as he could manage amid the rising panic, Link looked away nonchalantly, turning his attention back to the ceiling as he answered in even tones.

"There's nothing going on between the Princess and I."

Barlow snorted and Link's fingers subtly clenched into a fist where they lay across his torso.

"Pssshhhhh. Yeeeah, like I was born yesserday. So what ezacly were you two doin', then, huh?"

Link's mind raced and he struggled to keep his body still as it was flooded with adrenalin. This was exactly why he'd not wanted to allow the princess any special exceptions to the rules. Now he'd been caught breaking protocol, and a big-mouth had exactly the wrong idea. Or, well, he wasn't exactly sure if it was the wrong idea because he wasn't exactly sure what the right idea was… But regardless, he couldn't afford to have Barlow walk away with that… interpretation.

Din dammit all…!

"The Princess… she…" How was he supposed to explain this?! The truth… well, the truth sounded like a lazy lie. 'The Princess and I have just become close friends.' Yeah, right. He could almost hear Barlow laughing about what a touchy-feely 'friend' the Princess was. His cheeks heated at the thought, the memory of her hands upon his skin still vivid in his mind.

"The Princess, she… we aren't…" He faltered, words once more failing him. His mind raced, desperately grasping for some explanation he could give that wouldn't land him in a heap of trouble or tarnish Zelda's reputation; but before he could even utter a word, a loud snore ripped through his stuttering. Turning his head towards the older man with a start, he saw his mouth gaping, eyes shut and arm hanging off the side of the bed. Link breathed a sigh of relief, feeling his muscles begin to relax. He'd dodged that bullet, at least for now. But what would he say if Barlow asked again once he was sober?

And dare he ask himself the question… what was going on between the Princess and himself? In all honesty, there hadn't been anything "going on" beside the campfire; she had simply been… worried for him. But when she'd touched him, her delicate fingers sliding across his cheek, he'd felt an overwhelming urge to move closer, to bridge the small distance between them and capture her soft, parted lips with his own. It was then, when he realized the highly inappropriate nature of the thoughts running through his mind, that he'd snapped back to reality, awkwardly and hurriedly excusing himself from the campfire. Then he'd run into Barlow by the horses, and—

Link's eyes widened in sudden realization. THAT was why Barlow had been so nervous when he'd seen him! He must have returned earlier than he let on and seen them having their… 'conversation'.

Link closed his eyes and sighed, scrubbing his face with his hands. Zelda had made her intentions clear: she wanted a friend, a confidant. She had no one to share her struggles with, no one to confide in. By virtue of his position as her appointed knight and the Wielder of the Master Sword he was her constant companion, and the only person who truly understood the burden of destiny she had carried; he had carried that burden, too. And in truth, he'd been happy to be that, to be her friend and confidant.

But if he were really, truly honest with himself—something had changed; he wasn't sure when, and perhaps not for her—but certainly for him. He worried about her when she was struggling in a way he never had before, even if she tried to hide it—and he always knew when she was trying to hide it; he enjoyed her company perhaps too much, and found himself thinking of her a little more than just 'often' when he wasn't around her. He found himself paying special attention to the little things: her favorite flowers, how she liked her tea, the way her fingers fidgeted when she was nervous. Was that simply friendship? Farore knew he was lacking in this department—how was he to know? But… friends didn't think about kissing their friends… did they?

Link opened his eyes and scrutinized the blue stone ceiling, as though the intricate etchings upon its surface held the answers. The light of the setting sun had finally faded, leaving the room bathed in the dim blue glow of the proto-luminescent stone walls. If they did possess answers, they were not forthcoming.

And… what of Princess Mipha?

At the thought of her, Link felt a sudden tearing sensation in his chest, a sensation he'd been trying very hard to avoid; but finally being back in the place soaked in happy childhood memories of her—he found himself struggling to keep the feelings at bay. Pain and frustration welled within him and he found himself clenching his hands into tight fists once again, embedding crescents into his palm. Life couldn't just be simple, could it?

He'd spent years of his youth being carted from place to place to train, denied a 'normal' childhood. He was a prodigy, they'd said, his potential couldn't be wasted, they'd said. He'd been happy enough to get out and see the world at such a young age when all his peers were stuck in Hateno going to primary school—finding a friend in Mipha during his time in Zora's Domain and a friend in Daruk during his training in Goron City. He'd even been happy to join the Royal Guard at the unthinkably young age of 15. And then after only a year and a half, just enough time to get settled and comfortable in his new role, he'd drawn the Master Sword—and everything had changed, yet again.

Six months he spent training under the Sheikah at the castle further honing his skills, before the Guardian incident which landed him his appointment with the Princess. Then followed a year of vitriol: from nobles who blamed him for the coming Calamity, as though HE had decided that now was the time to begin the countdown to possible annihilation; from a Princess who resented his presence—no matter if she was eventually able to set aside that resentment. A year and a half knowing and yet not knowing what was coming, of worrying he wouldn't be enough. And then… they did it. They stopped it. And he thought maybe he could finally rest, could finally begin his life again. But then the King fell into a coma, the military decimated, the kingdom in shambles, and the Princess—his friend, his charge—fell apart at the dawn of her ascension; and once again here he was, having no idea where he fit into everything—let alone how he felt about it all.

And Princess Mipha. His heart clenched painfully at the thought of her. He'd barely had a chance to really, truly process the fact that she was… gone. They'd been so close when they were younger, and time and circumstance had drawn distance between them; yet he had always cared for her, no amount of time or distance had ever changed that. She had wanted to spend more time with him once it was all over; he'd wanted that, too. And now a new kind of distance separated them, one that could never be bridged.

He stubbornly blinked back the moisture in his eyes, letting out a bone-deep sigh as he turned on his side to gaze, unseeing, at the opposite wall.

Thoughts continued to whirl in his head as Barlow snored across from him, blissfully unaware of the Knight's inner turmoil. As the hours ticked by, sleep proved elusive. Two Princesses relentlessly occupied his mind, surrounded by a plethora of unanswered questions which left him only more agitated and frustrated. It wasn't until the moon was high in the sky that sleep finally claimed him; but it was a fitful doze, one that left him weary and thoroughly unprepared for the day ahead.

A/N: Thank you everyone who left a review last chapter for the kind words of support. It has been a really difficult few months, and your kindness means a lot ^^ And I'm sorry for so much ranting the past few chapters (even if they were spread out over months). Thank you all for bearing with me!

Review Responses!

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Euivy: Ah, me too my friend, I could use a slow down for a bit! And you know, it's actually a lot of those issues that got me interested in writing-exploring those kinds of problems. I do plan to incorporate them into the story a bit, though it'll come a lot later. And certainly I have more first-hand observational experience to add in now! Thank you for you well wishes and thoughtful comments. I hope you enjoyed this chapter!

Ultimate blazer: I have! And yay, I'm glad you think so!

Nightwing2013: Boy does the bro-in-law ever, lol. I'll take the counselor though, then maybe you guys won't have to put up with my griping! Hope you enjoyed the new chapter! Got some fun stuff coming up for Barlow soon, too.

Atomisgirl: Thank you so much. I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter, and I appreciate your patience so much!

: You are a dear.

Gabriel Herrol: Ah... that will be revealed later in part 3, but I won't elaborate here. Keen eye!

Mayonaka Yue: Thanks! There will be lots more alone time coming up. Hang on to your hat!

Lordrednight: Thank you! That is very kind. And I will allow the pun... just for the halibut.

Ania Nicole: Thanks so much! Now that the Calamity is a bit settled, I'm excited to get in to the dynamics between other characters, especially Impa and Zelda. And right you are, if this chapter isn't already evidence-Link's time to resolve his grief is on the horizon. And thank you for your well wishes. Things are settling a bit, fingers crossed it stays that way!

Kansa: I totally agree! I've been trying really hard to make the romance and all the other plot elements complex and three dimensional. I'm really happy that sticks out and resonates with you! Thank you so much for your comment ^^

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Generally speaking, I just want to say I love you all. You guys give the best, most thoughtful reviews and I appreciate it so very much. Until next time!