A/N: I know it's been a while, but I never promised regular updates—I created this account specifically so I wouldn't feel the pressure to update which isn't working out that well. Anyway, this is kinda a short chapter, it doesn't move the plot along that much it's mostly what Astrid has been through since John left. Next chapter which is in the works will continue the plot in the present. Enjoy.
Having a baby was an...experience. That was the best way she could describe it. She had prepared herself for the sleepless nights, the diapers, and putting her life on hold because she knew it would be hard work. What she didn't prepare for was how boring it would be and the overwhelming guilt she felt for thinking that. Sometimes the best part of her day was helping her parents out at the shop where she got to interact with people who spoke back. People who didn't need her for everything. The first time she felt this she spent 20 minutes in the stock room crying. Her son was supposed to be the best part of her day, she loved him more than anything in the world, so why was she feeling like this?
When she learned she was pregnant, to say she was shocked was an understatement. She found out later than most, too occupied with worrying about John to take notice of the symptoms. She honestly didn't know how it happened, they were safe, but she guessed she just had to be that unlucky three percent that got pregnant anyway.
She thought seriously about getting rid of him, it was the only logical option. She was 18, about to start college, and her boyfriend was out of the picture. It was a mistake that could be corrected and not effect the complete tragectory of her life, but then she heard him, his heart beat, and she instantly connected to him. It was her baby and she couldn't get rid of him. She knew she had another option, but the idea of him maybe having powers and not knowing what to do with them quickly shot that option. So at 13 weeks pregnant she decided she was having a baby and boy which the ultrasound tech told her when she first went in.
Her pregnancy was hard on her, not just emotionally but physically. She had terrible morning sickness that lasted well into the sixth month of her pregnancy. It got so bad that she had to be hospitalized. Her blood pressure was through the roof and she was diagnosed with pre-eclampsia. That's when she decided she had to stop looking—she had to stop hoping he would come back—it was causing her too much stress.
She asked Stephen to stop giving her updates—it wasn't like he ever had much to report, but she had to purge all things John from her life which was impossible with his son growing inside her, but she managed. She occupied her mind with other things, important things, like what was she going to do next.
She decided that she had to go to community college, it was kind of her plan before but now it was her only option. It was cheaper and more flexible with her schedule as a mother. She would eventually transfer to a university and hoping by then the demands of being a mother would lighten enough to keep up. She was to register next semester.
Along with planning her future she also occupied her mind with the baby and how she was going to take care of him. She started by telling her parents. As much as she hated to admit it, she could do anything without them. She didn't have the means and no one was going to hire a pregnant girl who was going to need maternity leave soon. They obviously weren't thrilled especially when the subject of the father came up, but like the loving parents they were they eventually came around and realized that the wellbeing of their daughter mattered more and now the wellbeing of their grandson.
She turned half her room into a nursery. Some of the things like the crib were things her parents kept from when she was a baby. The clothes she got hand-me-down from the Price's. Almost everything else was taken care of by the surprise baby shower Stephen threw with the help of all of the tomorrow people. She knew most of it was stolen, but that didn't matter, she was just grateful for the baby shower—grateful that someone could celebrate her baby.
She didn't particularly like being as big as a house, especially on days like this when she was rearranging things in her room for both her and the baby—too much up and down movement, her back didn't particularly like. She was sitting on the floor clearing out her closet when she found it—John's lucky leather jacket. She shoved it in there months ago. At first she used to wear it as comfort, hope, especially in the early days of learning about her pregnancy, but hope quickly turned to stress everyday he didn't come back. She thought about burning it—purging all things John from her life for good—but she couldn't go through with it. A part of her knew he'd want it when he came back. Seeing it again after all this time caused her to breakdown in tears immediately. She would like to blame it on the hormones—though they did play a part in it—but she knew that she just missed John—the only person to ever make her feel safe. She laid down on her side curling up into the fetal position holding his jacket to her chest crying. She fell asleep like that.
When she woke up the next day she was determined—determined to move on with her life, from John, from the Tomorrow People. Her son needed her to be strong and present, not to be chasing after a ghost, and she told Stephen as such. They were allowed to come around but they had to keep all things having to do with being a TP to themselves, and they did, until a week ago when Kara told her the news she had been waiting for all year.
She wanted to be happy about it, even celebrate, but in the grand scheme she knew it meant nothing, he was still a ghost—one who would haunt her forever. She wanted to get away from him but he always came back. Like now when she saw him standing outside her Dad's coffee shop.
"Did you get that ma'am?" a customer said trying to get her attention.
"Huh?" she said turning her attention back to work.
"Skinny, non-fat latte with 3 pumps of vanilla." the customer said annoyed.
"Yeah, comming right up," she said dispondantly.
As she went to make her customer's order she took one last look out of the window. He was gone, but she was knew he was actually there by the feeling she felt that had been since missing in his absense. She couldn't help the meloncholic smile that graced her face. John was really back.