Crazy trouble with love part 8

Jordana and Superman

Series: Legion of Super Heroes

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-New Metropolis, Legion of Super Heroes HQ-

"Come on now, it's easy."

"I don't know." Superman said while looking at a small yet sophisticated blue and gold computer the size of a small book. "I've never used D-Coms before, whatever they are."

"It doesn't take a genius to know how to use one. Even a baby could use it." spoke Lightning Lad walking past Superman and Brainy who was trying to teach Superman.

"Still, in my time we still use big computers."

"This is ten times faster than those devices." Brainiac 5 said. "But it won't turn on without your ring."

"So I just hold it out like this?" asked Superman holding his ring out in front of it.

The D-Com slowly turned on while making a 'Bing bing bing bong' sound while showing the last tab it had on, which was naked pictures of Saturn Girl.

Lightning Lad blushed while running to the D-Com and clicked the tab off. "Uh, maybe you should go with something more low tech."

"What was-"

"Nothing! It was nothing." he ran off with Brainy sighing.

"It would seem he's been tampering with the photoshop tool I installed. It's a very old fashion program, but quite useful for editing images and pictures even today."

"Um ok." Superman said while looking at the screen. "So I just type on it like normal or do I have to use my tongue or something for the mouse?"

"Finger, though there is an option for species who don't have them, in which case they would use their tongues."

"Oh." He said while using his fingers on the D-Com and saw all the sites. "Wow. Look at all this stuff, wait is that a site all about me?"

"Don't look." Brainy said quickly. "Or you might tamper with the timeline."

"Wow, is this site for videos?"

"Yes, it's very popular, though be careful as you might find some that are rather...peculiar."

"Holy crap!" He screamed while seeing a video of a tentacled alien doing it with a human. "What the-"

"Told you."

Superman groaned before seeing another site. "Oh. Is this a music site?"

"Yes, it's one where numerous species can share various songs for all to hear."

"I see." He said before seeing a Phantom Girl website, all in nudes or in a bikini. "Woah!"

"Her mother made that website."

"Uh...wow, that's uh...something." he replied, unsure what to think before swiping his finger and browsed random things. "This is all so incredible."

"That it is." Brainy said while Lighting Lad came back. "And it has all known knowledge in the universe."

"Man, this thing is awesome." he smiled before accidentally waving his ring near the power button, causing it to shut off. "What the."

"Might wanna watch it, otherwise you'll lose your spot." spoke Lightning Lad before taking it. "Besides, you can play with it later, Saturn Girl wants you and Brainy to do some patrolling, remember?"

"Wait what?"

"I don't recall her giving me a patrol." Brainy said confused.

"Hey, I'm just telling you what she let me know. But if you wanna miss out on listening be my guest." he shrugged.

Brainy blinked before walking away as Superman was still at the D-Com.

"Still I wonder what else this thing has?" He muttered while Lightning Lad had a very devilish idea in his head.

"Come on now, you'll have plenty of time to play with your toy later. You wanna make Saturn Girl mad if you don't go?"

"Well no, but I have to at least figure out how to use this effectively." Superman said while activating the D-Com back accident. "Oh it's back on."

Lightning Lad sighed. "Alright, but don't blame me if you accidentally look up some stuff I bet the others wouldn't wanna see. I mean it's not like one wrong move could land you in oh say, a porn page or two. That'd sure be a bad slip up." he smirked. "I'm sure you can figure it out without Brainy's help."

"What? A porn page?" He asked in confusion. "They have that?"

"Well duh. And it sounds to me like you're interested now." he raised an eyebrow. "Is the man of steel secretly needing time to himself?"

"What no! It's just a surprise that's all." He blushed before running off. "Um is that Phantom Girl calling me! Later!"

Lightning Lad smirked before picking the device and scrolled through some pages. "Alright, let's see now, where's that website at?"

The tabs and sites moved quickly as Lightning Lad kept his eyes on the screen.

"No, no, no, save that one for later, ah! There it is." he grinned looking at a red site with a heart on it and started typing. "Alright, time to get Superman registered before they get back."

(Later)

Lightning Lad smirked while waiting for the man of steel to walk by. 'Yep, this is going to be good. But when will the instant hit pop up? It's been two hours.'

He set the device down and casually walked away to be less suspicious while looking at the console, right as Superman and Brainy came back inside.

"That was odd." Superman said with a confused look on his face. "She didn't have patrol duty for us."

"It seemed so, although it was rather illogical of you to break down the door to her room when she didn't hear you the first time, causing a domino effect that caused you to take a peek of her skin and send you flying."

Superman blushed. "Let's not talk about that ok?"

"Alright." Brainy said before Superman turned on the D-Com.

"Huh? This is weird." He said while looking at the website. "How did I sign up to this….what is it exactly?"

"It's a dating site, and from the looks of it I say it's a galactic 'destined' hotline." Brainy said. "In which cause the results from this website will find the compatible male or female of your choice to bring you together though destiny. A D-Com sham if you ask me."

"But I didn't sign up to one, I didn't even know there was one."

"Yet your name is on the sight...with one hundred names already on it." Brainy looked at some of the names. "Including….Sarya? The Emerald Empress? Oh my."

Superman blinked in shock while seeing more and more names getting posted on the website. "But how did this happen? I wasn't even here when….wait a sec." he turned to Lightning Lad. "Lightning Lad?"

"What is it? I'm a little bit busy here." he replied tapping at buttons.

"Yes, trying to encrypt some of the files, and doing it at random." remarked Brainy bluntly. "Almost like you have no idea what you are doing."

"Yes I am!" He said while tapping on a button. "See?"

"You just added a happy face to a Legion villain wanted poster."

Superman then noticed that the other names were being broken as a big heart started to overtake the screen.

"CONGRATULATIONS! YOUR DESTINED ONE IS FOUND!" Yelled an announcer from the D-Com that spooked the entire Legion hall. "AND BY A WHOPPING TEN MILLION LIKES FROM A SINGLE YOUNG WOMAN!"

"Woah, that's a lot." muttered Superman with Brainy noticing Lightning Lad snickering.

"Lightning Lad."

"What?"

"AND THE LUCKY LADY IS!" The announcer yelled out before a name popped up. "TEEN LANTERN-69! CONGRATULATIONS!"

"Ok, don't really know who that is." remarked Superman as Brainy walked over to Lightning Lad.

"I believe you owe us an explanation Lightning Lad."

"Huh? Don't look at me, I didn't do anything." He said with a frown.

Brainy gave him a long and very creepy stare that made the hero flinch.

"Uh….ok ok, I might have possibly signed him up on the site."

"Why?!" Superman yelled.

"To have some fun and to get you a blind date."

The hero of the past groaned while Brainy frowned.

"Are you trying to disrupt the timeline?"

"Oh come on, it's not that big of a deal. He can just send her a message letting her know it was a mistake and call it off, no big whoop."

That was when a strange bird made of green energy floated into the room and landed on Brainy.

"What the?" Superman said as the 'bird' spoke.

"To Cock of Steel 2/8-4, I will be in town today due to my sector being free of crime. So I suggest you come meet me at the gates or I might attack you with a construct to the balls! Signed Teen Lantern-69." It said before dissipating into green particles.

"..." both Legionnaires glared at Lightning Lad.

"Uh...ok so maybe it's not such a big whoop." he admitted sheepishly. "But hey! Look on the bright side, now you've got yourself a date with a great gal."

"Lightning Lad." Brainy frowned. "That was a Green Lantern Construct, meaning this Teen Lantern-69 is a member of said corp, also meaning she's the one that keeps Sector 2814 safe, aka our galaxy."

"Uh, quick question. What's a Green Lantern?" asked Superman.

"A space police force that uses rings to make constructs out of will power." Brainy said. "And are the oldest force for good in the universe, even before the Justice League or you were born. Although some of its ranks became members of the Justice League and you became allies with them in the future."

"So not a threat?"

"Unless you do something illogical like destroy a planet or something."

"Well there's no chance of that happening."

"See? Sounds like everything turned out fine." smiled Lightning Lad. "You get a date with someone who does what we does and not a psychopath, you're welcome."

"Except that Sinestro was a Green Lantern and went rouge and formed the Yellow Lantern Corps." Brainy said bluntly.

"Oh right, forgot about that."

"What-"

"It's nothing." Brainy said quickly to Superman. "But I suggest you head to the gates."

"Yeah, good call. Wish me luck." He said before flying away.

Lightning Lad slowly walked away before getting caught by Brainy. "Um….no hard feelings?"

"I believe Saturn Girl will enjoy hearing about this." he remarked with his arms crossed.

"...crap."

(At the gates)

Superman landed on the ground while looking around for the blind date. 'Ok, where is she?' he dusted himself off and self conscious. 'If I knew I was gonna end up on a date I would have worn something else.'

As he looked around and dusted his body, he didn't notice a small green bee flying towards him and….

TING!

Stung him in the ass.

"Yeow!" he cried floating up and held the spot with a wince. "What just stung me?"

"A bee." Said a voice from above him.

He looked up and saw a tall girl with messy orange hair with three ponytails on her sides and behind her back, red eyes under a green mask, a C cup chest and small ass, wearing a tight fitting uniform with a green top with a green insignia over the chest, white boots with a black hue going from her waist to below her knees, white gloves with black sleeves, and a green ring on her right middle finger, floating above him.

"Something tells me you're Teen Lantern-69."

"Yep, but call me Jordana Gardner." She said while landing on the ground. "And you're Cock of Steel 2/8-4 right?"

"It's Clark Kent, or Superman. The cock of steel was something a teammate gave to my 'unwanted' D-Com account." he admitted with a blush making her chuckle. "To be honest, I didn't even know it was a thing."

"Well it is, and boy your hobbies were interesting."

"Hobbies?"

"Yeah, beating the crap out of people and groping villainesses asses. That's my kinda guy." She laughed.

'Lightning Lad!'

"So are we going on a date or what?" Jordana frowned while tapping her finger on her now crossed arms.

"Uh, yeah sure, but where do you wanna go?"

"Mmm, your pick."

'Crap!' He thought with a pale face. 'Come on Clark, think of someplace you know that sounds fun.'

That was when he got an idea.

"Maybe a cafe?"

"A cafe? Really? That sounds lame."

"No way, it's the best one around." he tried smiling as she raised an eyebrow. "Best in the city."

"..." she shook her head. "Then show me this cafe."

"S-Sure thing, just follow me." He said before taking flight. 'Shit! I don't know ANY cafes here!'

Jordana followed while looking a bit bored. 'I hope he's not trying to act the part or I'm going to punch him so hard that he'll be seeing stars in the next sector!'

(A bit later)

"Well? Where's this cafe? All we've been doing is floating around."

"Well hold on." He said while looking for a cafe, and failing. "It's just down this street."

"You said that a few minutes ago." she frowned. "Admit it, you don't know where it is."

Superman gumbled before seeing a small building with a cat on it. "Oh there we are."

Jordana looked at the building and blinked in surprise. "The Neko Neko Cafe? The most expensive cafe in this sector? My, so you got reservations to it right?"

'Oh crap!' "Uh, reservations?"

"Well yeah, it's so crowded that it takes ten years to get in, so you need a reservation just to get in and take a seat."

'Oh…..fuck.' He thought in fear. "Um….did I mean that building? I mean….the one next door."

"...that's a morgue."

"I-I mean the other one!"

"That's a aquarium." Jordana deadpanned. "You didn't get anything done before I came here did you?"

"Uh…..no." he answered looking away making her sigh.

"Sounds like I'll have to find someplace then." She sighed before using her ring to form a bubble around Superman as she took flight and went around the city.

"WOAH!"

"Oh yeah, forgot to tell you to hold on."

'I'm going to be sick!'

(A very fast trip around the city later)

Superman groaned while looking green in the face, and not because he was in a green bubble of energy. "Are we….almost there?"

"Almost." Jordana said while floating around. "And are you feeling alright? I can't have you puking in the construct."

"Yeah, I just….never flew this fast...before."

"Well you better start, because I live for speed." She laughed.

'Ugh, note to self. Start training on keeping my stomach from puking when flying.' he thought before the bubble began to slow down.

"Here we are." She said while floating down near a….very seedy bar. "The Black Lantern, the toughest bar this side of the Milky Way."

"Uh, I'm not sure about this." he remarked as she took the bubble away. "I mean, don't heroes generally stay away from places like this unless they're looking for someone?"

"Oh lighten up! This is a great place to get drunk, kick ass, and have some fun afterwards." Jordana smirked. "Don't tell me you're a lightweight when it comes to drinks."

"Well….I've never really had any of the stuff, I mean I'm still a minor."

Jordana deadpanned. "So am I yet I drink."

"Well…."

"Are you a chicken?" She mocked while making chicken noises.

"Of course not, I just don't wanna get in trouble breaking any rules."

"Cluck cluck cluck."

"Stop that."

"Cluck cluck cluck cluck!"

"I'm serious." he frowned.

"So am I." She smirked. "Cluck cluck cluck!"

Clark sighed and shook his head. "Alright fine, we'll go inside."

She smirked before taking his arm and tried to drag him in, with difficulty. "Ah!" 'What the? How strong is this guy?'

"Hang on. I'll go inside, but we can't cause too much trouble, alright?"

"Fine, but if you start a fight, I'm not helping you." 'Is he made of iron?!'

"Trust me, I'm gonna try and be on the down low."

"Real easy to say with this on your chest." she remarked tapping his chest before walking towards the bar.

"...what?" He muttered in confusion before walking inside, only to see it was full of fighting aliens, couples making out and cock fights in the back corner….or what looked like roosters as they had the heads of dogs. 'What the fuck did I get dragged into?'

"Hey barkeep! Get me and my date two 'Gardner' specials. And make it snappy." The Green Lantern smirked.

"On it." spoke a blob looking alien cleaning several glasses.

Superman nervously looked around while trying not to bump into anyone, which was hard as everyone was staring at him like a piece of meat.

"Hey, ain't that guy part of that club of weirdos?"

"You mean those brats going around doing 'good'?"

"I thought I recognized him."

"And he's with a lantern, figures."

"But remember, that chick is from the Gardner and Jordan lines, not the best family lines but ones that should show respect."

"Except the first one, her ancestor still owes my family a lot of loot."

"Same, except he punched my papa in the face! Who does that?!"

"Well I will say this." Said a alien like amoeba with a Red Lantern ring and outfit on. "I remember when her stupid ancestor joined the corp, only to betray it. And that makes me mad!"

"Uh Jordana?"

"Ignore them, we'll be taking that booth in the back."

"What's a Red Lantern?"

"...ignore that." She said with a cold tone. "I'll tell you when I'm good and hammered."

He blinked while following her to the back and sat down on a chair made of skin and bones. He shuddered while seeing her lean back and smiled. "So I take it you come here often?"

"Yep." She said like it was obvious. "Every day in fact."

"Why?"

"Because I feel like it, duh." she rolled her eyes. "How often do you spend in that clubhouse of yours?"

"Often, I mean they kinda dragged me from Smallville."

"Smallville? That town's been destroyed since the Darkseid Wars."

"Darkseid? Who's that?"

"Long story short, this old big shot who caused a lot of trouble back in the day. Last I heard he was sitting alone on his planet, shadow of his former self."

"Um ok."

"Anyway, if you came from Smallville, you must be either a radioactive mutant or a cytogenetically frozen human. I'm hoping for the first one because you look like a mutation with that hairdo of yours."

"I'm neither." he frowned while touching his hair. "I'm...well from what I was told, apparently I'm some kind of alien, which is why I have so many different powers and grew up on Earth."

"...what kind of alien?"

"Well they told me I'm Kryptonian." He said while the bar froze at the mention of the name.

"A Kryptonian?"

"Oh great."

"Well there goes the neighborhood."

"I'm out."

"Me too."

"I have to go."

"Kryptonians are the devil! AHHHHH!"

"Uh…."

"Kryptonians are the boogeymen of the 31st century." Jordana sighed. "Especially since the last few heroes like Supergirl, Power Girl, Superboy and the like defended earth when my ancestors were still kicking. Although there are a few criminals in the Phantom Zone that are of your race, but they're still there."

"I fought one like that, but I've never heard of the others." he remarked. "But what do you mean boogeymen?"

"Because when it comes to Kryptonians they're some of the toughest to deal with. Tons of powers, different ways to use them, those heroes I just mentioned kick a LOT of ass in the day, so nowadays if people see one, mostly the bad guys, they tend to steer clear."

Superman blinked while turning to some of the occupants, only to see that they ran away during the talk. "No kidding, and here I thought Kryptonians were just a alien race that died from a exploding planet."

"Oh they did, but those heroes had children and those children had children and then it became an entire race. Like rabbits." she smirked. "In fact, my ancestor knew one with your exact name. He was called Superman too, but from what I heard he was a total badass."

"Who was your ancestor?"

"Hal Jordan and Guy Gardner. The best lanterns in history." Jordana grinned with pride.

"...who?"

She sighed and shook her head. "Ok, this is gonna be a long tale, so just wait until our drinks-"

"Your drinks." Said the barkeep while using a tentacle to place two large black skull like bottles full of red wine on the table.

"Right on time."

(Some drinks later)

Superman looked unaffected by the alcohol while Jordana looked slightly tipsy. 'Huh, so alcohol doesn't affect me. Better keep that in mind.'

"Ah man, so then Guy Gardner gets Atrocitus' own ring and takes his spot as the leader of the Red Lantern Corp." she chuckled. "Which cleaned up their act REAL quick if you ask me."

"So he got acid blood?"

"Well duh, but it didn't stop him from being a badass." She laughed. "But my OTHER ancestor Hal, he's was so insane when he became Parallax that he nearly destroyed the cosmos. Yet he still had a Star Sapphire trying to get his cock! Ha ha!"

"And those were the all women corp, right?"

"Yep, a bit crazy, but girl power!" Jordana laughed while drinking again. "Oh and this reminds me of the time when Hal banged a fellow member, who was young might I tell you, and they dated, did the deed, her ring made her become an adult and-"

"No." The barkeep interrupted. "I do not want another customer getting sent to New Arkham this week."

"Screw you!"

'This is getting weird.' he thought. "From the sounds of it they were something."

"Hell they were." Jordana smirked. "And I'm going to outclass them one day."

"But I gotta ask, whatever happened to the other corps?"

"Oh they're around, but we keep our distances." She waved off. "Especially with these new galactic governments giving us a hard time with their 'legionaries', amateurs."

"Uh...I'm one of them."

"I know." She smirked while drinking her alcohol.

He raised an eyebrow while she let out a chuckle. "I think you may have had one too many drinks."

"Nope! I'm not even tipsy!" She laughed while drinking more, as her cheeks turned bright red. "Barkeep! Another round on me!"

"Already done." he replied replacing the glass.

She grabbed it while gulping it down as Superman sweatdropped at this. "Ah! Yahoo! This stuffs great!"

"Aren't you worried about killing your liver drinking all those?"

"Mmmm, nope." She giggled. "We have special medication for that. Plus I'm not drunk hic."

"Still, maybe slowing down a little wouldn't hurt."

"What are you? My mom?" Jordana smirked before drinking some more.

"No, just concerned."

She chuckled before grabbing Superman's cheek. "Oh don't be like that, it's just a bit of alcohol."

"I don't think a 'bit' is the same as over six glasses." He sweatdropped before Jordana moved closer to his face.

"Come now, we're dating you know." She smiled. "And I'm in the mood for some lips."

Superman blushed hearing that and suddenly found her lips pressed against his own. "Mmmm!?"

She moved her tongue over the heroes' tongue while moving her hands in his hair. "Mmmm."

'Oh my god! I can taste her tongue!' He thought while Jordana kept on making out with him.

She smirked while using her ring to make two green hands to rub Superman's cheeks as the alcohol started affecting her brain.

'What should I do?!' he thought with a blush. 'Should I try licking her back or let her do her thing?'

As this was about to get steamy, Jordana moved back and started barking like a dog and wagging her ass in the air.

"Arf arf!"

"Uh...are you ok?"

"Arf arf!" She barked before nuzzling Clark on the chest. "Arf!"

"She's always like this." The barkeep deadpanned. "Drinks too much and acts like a dog for the next three hours."

"Anything you have that can get her to sober up quicker?"

"Unless you can find water from Pluto." The blob said sarcastically as Jordana started licking Clark in the face. "But for a bribe I could tell you where some is bought."

"Arf arf!"

"At this point I might have to." He grumbled before noticing Jordana was trying to bite his cape. "Hey!"

"Grrrrrr!"

"How much?"

"How much do you have right now?"

Superman grumbled while admitting he didn't really know the currency of the United Planets. "Um five dollars?"

"Huh, that's an old currency. Worth a lot nowadays, so I'm sold." he smiled taking it. "Alright, what you're gonna want to do is go to the far side of the city, the part where not even the cops go to."

"Ok." He said while feeling like this might be a bad idea.

"Once there you gotta head towards the building on the right. The one with the green rock on it, fancy place but not the sort of place for you good guys."

"And that's where I can get the water?"

"Yep, but word of advice. Do not call the head honcho anything negative, especially the body, kinda a death sentence ya know."

"Got it." He said while Jordana began to bite his pants. "Yeow!"

"Grrrrrrr!"

As the hero walked out of the bar, the barkeep smirked. "If he had paid extra I could of told him about Emerald Empress heading the shop, but he didn't. His loss."

(Later)

Clark looked around the neighborhood which was slightly run down compared to the rest of the city while Jordana kept gnawing on his cape.

"Grrrrr." She growled while biting the cape and nearly teared it with her jaw.

"I hope we find that shop soon, I don't wanna stick around this place too long." He muttered before noticing a building with a green rock on it called 'The Green Kypton' and for some reason it was emitting a very strange glow. "Oh great, I was worried it was gonna be THAT kind of rock."

"Grrr." Jordana growled before letting go and tried to lick Clark's face, which made some passersby look at them with a weird look on their faces. "Arf arf!"

"Not now Jordana, people are watching." he blushed.

"Arf arf arf!" She barked as Clark entered the store, feeling a little better now that he was AWAY from the rock outside.

Only to find tons of water tanks all over the shop with some comfy pillows on the ground and several green curtains in the back corner.

"Alright, now just need to find the owner of this place." He said while seeing a bell near the table as Jordana barked and started chasing her own 'tail'. He walked over and rang it. "Hello?"

"Hold on." said a very familiar voice. "I'm busy here with a certain eyeball that stole my lunch-HEY!"

'Wait….oh no.' he thought while getting on guard and turned to Jordana. "We need to get out of here, now."

"Arf?"

"I'm coming." The voice said as it was revealed to be Sarya, but in a green set of pajamas and had her hair in a bun. "For hell sake, can't people just let me have an off day." 'Damn it! My blind date was a bust!'

"Emerald Empress." frowned Superman.

"Oh not you again!" She frowned. "Look I'm not committed crimes today so piss off and…" she saw Jordana rubbing her butt on the ground. "Oh not her again! And I just got those pillow cleaned!"

"Wait...you know her?" asked Superman, surprised.

"Yes, she's a unwilling customer of mine. Every day she runs in acting like a dog and I give her Plutonian Water to fix it up. Then she starts blaming me for 'making her act like a mutt' and attacks me." She frowned. "And then I'm sent to jail or worse and my shop is in disrepair for the next few hours or so. It's repetitive if you ask me."

"Arf arf arf!"

"I'm actually surprised. You own a shop, but you're a…."

"Yes, but even I need to have some revenue. I mean come on, you heroes destroy all my devices, and I payed for most of them!"

"Ok ok, look I just need some water so my blind date doesn't-"

"Blind date? You? Ha how ridiculous."

"I'm serious, but it wasn't my idea in the first play ok." he frowned as she chuckled. "Do you have some or not?"

"I do." She smirked. "But there is a cost for such precious water."

"Arf arf." Jordana barked while wagging her ass.

"How much?"

"Oh it's nothing like that." She waved off. "I just need you to get me a date. My last blind date was taken."

"Um who was that?"

"Cock of Steel 2/4-8."

"Sounds…..like a great guy." 'Dodged a bullet there.'

"If you can get me a date, I'll get you the water. Deal?"

"Uh...sure?"

The villain smirked before taking a glass of purple water from under the table and gave it to him. "Just splash it on her, but not in my shop. I don't want to go to jail tonight, my soaps are on."

"Thanks." he took it and moved over, but found the large eye hovering in his way while the empress coughed.

"Keep in mind, if you go back on the deal, me and my boys just might go out for a little 'fun' on the town."

"Fine." He groaned while the eye floated away from him.

'Still.' The villain thought with a smirk. 'If he was Cock of Steel 2/4-8, I wouldn't mind giving him a fun time myself.'

(Later)

"Alright Jordana, this should do the trick." He said before seeing Jordana licking her own crotch.

"Arf arf."

"...gonna forget about that." he replied before splashing her with the water.

The Green Lantern slowly blinked before looking around. "Eh? What happened? Where am I and why am I wet?!"

"You kinda got a bit drunk."

"..." she looked at him before frowning. "Ok so you made me drunk! Now that tears it! I'm going to kick your ass!"

"Hey don't go blaming me, you're the one who pressured me into going to that bar in the first place. I didn't tell you to keep drinking."

But it was too late as the girl ran at him and punched him with a green construct from her ring.

Which sent him flying into a tree.

"AHHHHHHHH!" She roared before Superman grabbed her by the waist. "Hey let go!"

"You need to calm down!"

"Oh don't you dare tell me to calm down! I AM CALM!" She growled while thrashing about like mad. "Now let me go!"

"No!"

"Let me go!"

"Not until you calm down!"

She growled before kicking his groin, but found that her foot made a loud….

CRACK.

"AAAAAAAAAAH!" Jordana screamed in pain. "MY FOOT!" 'WHAT ARE HIS BALLS MADE OF?!'

"Oh my gosh! Are you alright?"

"HELL NO!" She screamed in pain. "MY FOOT IS BROKEN!"

'Shit shit shit!' he thought. "Hang on, I'll get you to a hospital."

Jordana screamed in pain while cursing in different languages, including alien ones.

(At the hospital)

She glared at Clark while her leg was bandaged and was currently in a hospital bed. "I hate you right now."

"How is she doc?"

"Oh her entire foot is broken, so she will be here for a month." The doctor said. "But I got to say, I've never heard of someone getting a broken foot from hitting someone's groin."

The woman glared at Clark. "Once I get out, I will fuck you up."

"I didn't do anything! YOU were the one who went off and kicked me." he frowned.

"For making me drunk!"

"Enough you two newly weds." The doctor said. "It's neither of your faults, so make up and kiss."

"What?! W-We're not married!" they spoke together.

"Then what's with the ring?" The doctor smirked before walking away. "Also, don't do the deed here. I just cleaned the sheets."

Both of them gawked with blushes.

That was when Clark looked at Jordana and sighed. "I'm sorry for the leg thing Jordana."

"You should be." she grumbled looking away with her arms crossed.

"But I was trying to calm you down a little." He said. "And if you didn't get so mad at me, maybe we could've just watched the sunset or something."

"Seriously? Watched the sunset? What kind of girl do I look like to you?"

"Well I didn't really expect my first date to end up drunk and try to fight me." he frowned. "How is me getting you to sober up a bad thing? Apparently this isn't the first time it's happened to you."

"What? Oh that." She lightly blushed. "I might have blacked out during my initiation to the corps. But I don't remember what happened afterwards until someone walked in my room and I punched first, asked questions later."

"See? I was just trying to help, so getting upset and hurting your foot is all on you, not me."

"..." she huffed. "Look, I'll forgive you this once, only if you treat me right the next time we meet up. Kapeash?"

'Something tells me there might not be a next time.' He sweatdropped before getting an idea and gave Jordana a peck on the forehead. "Consider that payback for kissing me earlier."

"...cheapshot." She blushed.

"I know you liked it." He winked.

"Eh shut up."

"Just kiss you two!" yelled a nurse that walked by. "The tension is killing the staff!"

That made both turn crimson red.

"But no fucking!"

(Some time later)

"Damn it, stupid cast." Jordana grumbled while using green crutch constructs to walk next to Clark. "Stupid waste of battery power."

"Wait that ring has a battery?" Superman asked while trying to keep Jordana from falling.

"Of course it does, all rings do. What? Did you think it worked all the time without a power source?"

"Well…..maybe. I mean I never heard of a Green Lantern until today."

"Each ring is powered by a battery each lantern is given to recharge the ring. All batteries are hooked up to the central power battery on Oa."

"Ok? But who hands out the rings? Robots?"

"Mogo."

"Eh?"

"Mogo, he's a green lantern himself."

"Oh and what does he look like?"

"A fucking planet, duh." Jordana said bluntly.

Clark jaw dropped hearing that.

"Yeah, that's how a lot of newbie lanterns reacted too when they found out."

"But a planet?"

"Yes, they can be members too. Jeez we aren't that picky like most corps, I mean the Orange Lanterns were just one guy being damn picky."

"Orange? Ok how many are there? Because I'm getting very confused now."

"Green, red, yellow, violet, blue, indigo, orange, black, and white."

"Oh….so which ones the strongest and which one would pick me?"

"Green and I don't think a ring would even choose you." she shook her head. "The rings decide who's more suited on their own."

"But what does each one represent?"

"Green is will, yellow fear, red is rage, orange is avarice, violet is love, indigo is compassion, blue is hope, white is life and black is death." Jordana explained. "And will power rules!"

"And all of them are still around today?"

"Well some of them have died down over time. Green is still the highest number, but the Sinestro corp has really gotten small since there isn't as many guys around to instill too much fear."

"And the Black and White Corps?"

"No one has a connection with death these days and life….well it's complicated, but the footnote version is that it hasn't been around since my ancestors time."

Clark nodded before saying. "If you were in the Violet Corps, would you still be the same or more….girly?"

"I wouldn't be caught wearing those skimpy outfits!" she growled. "If you saw what they wore you'd be having wet dreams for years."

He blushed. "Oh…..but what Corp would you be in if you decided to change?"

She frowned at that. "...look. My ancestor made a mistake in switching sides, same with my other ancestor, but I'm not going to change sides like them because I wanted to be a Green Lantern since I was a tot. And if anyone tries to tempt me, I'll kick their asses until their black and blue!"

"Ok ok, I'm just trying to make small talk."

"It worked." She rolled her eyes before looking at him carefully.

"What?"

"I'm thinking that maybe the Blue Lanterns might work for you. You seem like a beacon of hope, no idea why though."

"Heh, thanks." he smiled. "I think that's what Brainy tried to tell me when he introduced me to all this."

"Brainy?"

"Brainiac 5, he's the one who's kinda the genius of the group."

"Oh." She said before getting an idea. "Say, when this leg heals up, want to visit Oa? You might like a change in location and I might train you in a few styles of fist fighting."

"Really?"

"Yep, just know I'm a badass and won't take no for an answer." She smirked.

"Then why ask?"

"Because I'm badass." She smirked while Clark deadpanned and gave her a peck on the cheek, turning her cheeks pink. "Hey!"

"Looks like I found your Achilles Heel." he teased making her glare.

"Try that again buddy, I dare ya." she warned with her ring glowing.

And cue him kissing her forehead.

"I dare." 'Yep, I'm going to regret that.'

She growled before forming a large boot with her ring and used it to kick his butt to the ground. "You asked for that."

"Ow." He groaned in pain while not seeing Jordana's red face. 'Ok, that actually hurt.'

'Bastard.'

(Later)

Superman grumbled while walking back into the Legion building, with a black eye and a bit of cuts on his lips, as he walked to a chair and laid back on it. 'Ugh, at least we exchanged numbers. That's a plus.'

Brainy, Phantom Girl, and Saturn Girl walked by and saw the hero of the past and were shocked at the black eye and cuts.

"Woah, what happened to you?" asked Phantom Girl.

"Blind date." He said. "And apparently she's got a left hook, and a broken foot."

"So the Green Lantern didn't kill you?" Brainy asked.

"No, had a good time at a bar, the hospital and then got my butt kicked by a green boot." He said while rubbing his black eye.

"Wow, sounds like a tough girl to handle." remarked Saturn Girl. "Especially if she could do that to you."

"Who was she?" Phantom Girl asked.

"Jordana Gardner."

And cue the girls gasping in shock.

"Let me guess, her reputation precedes her?"

"She's one of the most deadly and gorilla like in history!"

"Some say if she wasn't a Green Lantern she'd be considered a potential villain in the making."

"She once destroyed a moon for ruining her tan!"

"And from what I heard, she nearly became a Red Lantern AND a Yellow Lantern!"

Clark raised his good eyebrow up. "She's cocky and a bit headstrong, but Jordana's nice. Heck I kissed her on the cheek and she acted like a country girl at the prom."

"Hold up, time out." Phantom Girl crossed her hands. "You KISSED her and survived? Wow, now that's what I call invulnerable."

"To be honest, she kissed me first while drunk." He pointed out. "I just returned the favor, three times, well two if you don't count the kiss to the forehead that sent me into the ground."

"Well at least it's over." spoke Saturn Girl.

"What do you mean by that?"

"Now that it's over you do not need to worry about a female such as that." spoke Brainy. "Perhaps you could try supervising any future searches for dates."

"Nah." He said. "We exchanged numbers and she's going to take me to Oa for some training once her foot heals. And she didn't take no as an answer."

"By the way." Saturn Girl asked. "How did you break her foot?"

"By kicking me in the crotch." He said while Lightning Lad walked by.

"Wait, who tried to kick you in the crotch? This I gotta hear."

"Oh it's Jordana Gardner, my new girlfriend." Superman said with a smirk. "Thanks to you."

"Hold up, say what?!"

"What? Did I misspoke?" He asked while cleaning his ear with a smirk. "Because I said you helped me get a girlfriend named Jordana Gardner."

"Don't be so smart with me. How in all the universe itself is that possible? That girl would make the Fatal Five seem like saints compared to her attitude."

"Oh I don't know, she's tough, but sweet and chewy inside. Like a gum ball or a piece of taffy." He said before getting an idea. "Oh and before I forget, I found a girl that's willing to hang out with you Lightning Lad, even know where she lives." 'He he.'

"Oh really now?" he raised an eyebrow. "What's she like?"

"Likes water, is hot, has green hair and has a thing for 'voltage'." He said while pulling out a business card he took from the store during his date. "And she's single."

"Huh, sounds like my kinda gal." he smiled taking it while Clark inwardly chuckled.

'Payback for setting me up on a blind date.' He thought as the hero walked away. "Oh and remember to bring flowers."

"Yeah yeah!"

The girls raised their eyebrows while Clark smirked, something Brainy noticed, but ignored it.

"Hey Saturn Girl." Clark said. "Do you have any tips for a second date?"

"Well considering who it is, maybe...NOT get her upset."

"And maybe get protection." Phantom Girl muttered out loud.

"Protection from what?" Clark asked with a raised eyebrow as the girl blushed red.

"Nothing nothing, just try to do something that'll make her happy is all."

"I see." He muttered before smirking. "Then I'll get her some old fashioned pancakes, that always helps a girl feel happy."

Brainy placed a hand on his back. "You have a lot to learn."

"What? What's wrong with that?" He asked while looking confused.

"You just have a lot to learn about the female mind."

'That doesn't sound assuring.'

(With Lightning Lad)

He looked at the shop while smirking and holding some roses. "Today I'm getting on with a girl."

Ring ring.

As he walked in, he didn't notice the eyeball floating over him, looking at him like a hungry shark.

"Hello? Anyone here?"

"Hold on." Said a voice from the back as the eye looked at him even closer. "I'm naked."

Lightning Lad grinned and leaned against the counter. "Go ahead, take your time getting dressed."

That was when a very familiar woman in a green bathrobe walked out of the back still dripping wet.

"What do you want? And wait….flowers? How bland." She said before taking the card that was on it and saw the name. 'So that's who that super powered hillbilly sent me for a date. He he, he's got some taste.' "Hello dear, miss me?"

"Actually I-Emerald Empress?!" he jumped with wide eyes before just now noticing the eye and made his hands sparked. "What are you doing….wait…"

"Yep, I'm your date for the night." She winked. "And don't worry about the Legion, I'll make sure they won't be coming when I turn you into my own little masochist boytoy for the night~"

"Not on my watch!" he yelled before rolling and zapped at the eye.

Only for the eye to dodge as Emerald Empress pressed a button under the counter and caused some pink gas to envelop the room as she covered her mouth. 'Hope you like Venusian Sleeping Gas!'

'Crap!' he thought before bolting for the door.

Only for the gas to start affecting him as he fell to the ground as Emerald Empress smirked as she placed a gas mask on.

"You aren't going anywhere. After all, your pal Superboy owes me a blind date." She laughed as Lightning Lad's vision started to become blurred.

'Aw...fuck…' he thought before passing out as the screen went black.