*shuffle* *shuffle*

"Mmmn..." Her eyes slowly opened, greeted by the piercing rays of the sun, first thing in the morning. She groaned and used the little conscious she had to close the curtains.

The brightened room once again dimmed as she reluctantly pulled herself up. She tried to stretch but skin he'd at the feeling of her flesh tearing open. Her eyes traveled down to her arm. "What a mess..." She mumbled to herself.

Frozen blood, unsightly scars; a reminiscence of her previous assaults; and fresh wounds. Disgusting.

Why did she even do this? Why didn't she stop? It was bad enough as it was for her to add even more.

=Guilt=

She felt guilt. She shouldn't have, she really shouldn't have. Why did she even... The thoughts of throwing the blade away crossed her mind for a slightest moment. What would she do then? Kitchen knife? Razors?

She sighed, feeling it, the guilt, piling at the pit of her stomach. She hated it, this feeling. This numb pain that wouldn't ever go away...but what could she even do about it?

Nothing...nothing at all.

She got up from the bed and walked into the bathroom. She stood in front of the mirror, judging herself. She really shouldn't, she knew that herself. But, she still did. Knowing something was wrong to do, didn't mean that a person would refrain from doing it.

She eyed herself up and down. Her arms, scarred; her chest, scarred; her thighs, scarred; the only place left was her stomach and her legs...so unsightly. She snickered at herself.

It was just...sad.

Shirt, tights, skirt, shoes, sweater, bag, assignment, keys, locked the door and she was out. Walking was still hard, especially when you didn't eat anything for a day. Not that it was out of the ordinary. It was usual, 'the norm'.

Passing the green lights, walking among many people. Everyone had their own lives. They are engrossed in there own thoughts. No one has enough free time to worry about someone else's problem. In the end, we were all alone. Heh. Of course we're all alone. Yet she still wanted someone to..

She once again walked the same road, the same entrance, the same corridors. Everyday was just so monotonous. Same laughs, same smiled, same faces, same words. Whispers, giggles, snickers, gazes...'I'm tired of this...'

Being shouted at for not staying after getting detention, being laughed at for being scolded. Having your assignment thrown in the bin because, 'it's just a joke'.

'So tiring...'

Sighing all day to calm herself down, that was all she could do. The bell rang, indicating that it was time for a lunch break. Was she glad? Not really. She decided to go up to the roof. At least no one would be there and she could get some fresh air.

She walked down the corridor, gaze low, pace fast. The familiar stairs came to sight. She'd often come here to escape for a while, to skip classes, and to skip the pain. She'd mostly just lie down and take a breather. It was just relaxing.

She twisted the handle and opened the door. She was greeted by a strong breeze, and she let out a breath. Walking around, careful of anyone other than her, she ended up on the railing. She rested her head on it and listened to all the sounds coming around.

The sound of wind, laughs, useless chatter. Why were 'they' so happy while causing her so much pain? Did they think she was fine? Did they she'd be okay after all that? Did they even think about what they did? What they should've? What they've done? Did they?! DID THEY?!

'I'm tired, I'm tired of it all, I'm so tired, I want this to end, I don't like this, I don't like this, I don't like this'

She climbed over and sat down on the edge. She swung her legs like a child while numbly thinking. 'What if I fell? That'd be nice. It's not like anyone would care. They all have their own lives. Maybe they'll realize what they did was wrong. And I could escape from this useless routine. I'd be away from is meaningless life. I'm tired...I'm so tired...maybe I should just end it...because I'm tired..'

"Bye bye..." She moved closer to the edge and let herself slip away. The moment she felt the ground taken from beneath her feet, she was filled with even more regret. Maybe all she needed was someone to save her...if only someone..

~2nd pov~

Idling around on the roof in such a weather couldn't be nicer. He was sitting on top of the roof of the roof...if that makes sense. Big height was certainly an advantage to such situations. And just when he thought that he was alone, he heard the door open. He laid flat on the ground so as to not get noticed. He sneakily moved over to the edge and peeked down at the intruder.

One, he was glad that there weren't many. Two, he was also glad that this girl was the one he bumped into. She didn't care for him and ignored him. Perfect. Haa, but for some reason, he found himself climbing down, and walking towards the figure hunched over the railing.

He had a skill for making his presence unknown and it certainly was helpful in such situations. He noticed her grip on the railing. She was clutching it so hard that knuckled had turned white. He flinched when she looked up all of a sudden. Did she know he was here? But from that expression on her face it didn't seem like. She looked like she was about to cry. Hiding himself behind a barrel, he observed her.

He was almost about to call out to her when she climbed over the but he waited. It was normal for people to do that, to enjoy the wind and freedom. Yeah, maybe he was just overthinking things. He abandoned that place and walked over to the railings. There was enough space so that a person wouldn't fall over.

But what him rush over was that expression on end face. Almost regretful yet dead expression. A face someone would make when they were about to..

His thoughts halted in the middle as he saw her jump. He bent over unconsciously. It was an automated reaction. He arm jerked with a great force form catching her mid flight. He pulled her back up with full strength. What was she doing? Why was she doing this?

A sharp tug and both of them were on the ground, her on top of him. She was shaking, she was shaking so much. Ignoring the growing pain in his arms, he hugged her tightly. She was so small, so vulnerable..

~1st pov~

When she came to, she was in the arms of another. For some reason, it was warm. It felt..nice. She didn't want to die, no one wanted to die. She just needed a break, a little break from all of this, she didn't wa-ant to die.

She choked even in her thoughts as she let the warmth seep into her. Slowly letting herself go, she felt fresh, warm tears roll down her cheek. Why was her life so sad? Why did she stop? Why was she saved? It would've been better! She wouldn't have to face this all over again! This monotonous life!

"Uu...uwahhh" and so she cried, she cried in the arms of an stranger. She bawled her eyes out as the stranger patted her on her back. Why did it feel so warm? Why was this embrace so securing?

"Uuu...*hic*...uwaaaa" she brought up her fist and started to hit him on the chest. Why? Why? Whywhywhywhywhy? Why her? Why only her?

~2nd pov~

She was crying so much. Her tiny fists that shook as she hit him. It didn't hurt. She was so weak. Her wrists were so thin. He lightly patted her on the back, hoping to calm her down. What and she gone through to become like this. To end her life...his heart throbbed at the thought.

Was there no one who cared about her?

After about 10 more minutes or so, near the time the bell rang, she stopped. She looked up at him after staring at his wet shirt; wet from her tears. She stared at him for a second. Her eyes were red and swollen, her nose was red, she almost looked...'cute'

'Gah, am I a pervert? Thinking a girl is cute after she cries...gah, I really am a jerk'

She covered her reindeer nose with her sleeve and she shifted so to get off of him. Not that he minded her on him...'idiot, stop'

She opened her mouth to say something but closed it. Who could even say anything in such a situation. This was a bit...awkward.

It's not everyday you get out in a situation where you have to say something after letting a girl cry on you after you save her life. And so, he said the first non-perverted thing he could say, "what's your...name?"

'Are you an idiot?! Stupid idiot, who the heck says that right afte-'

"Ayu...Ayuzawa Misaki...y-you?..." She stuttered with her voice barely above a whisper. Poor thing, she must've been scared...

"Usui, Takumi Usui. How about I walk you home today?" He asked with his mind begging him to stop continuing such a conversation.

She simply nodded her head. It was weird that she was going along with it but well...it's a bonus for him. The one sided conversation continued on. He was scared to leave her alone in the roof after she asked him to go back to his class. He insisted on her staying in the infirmary and she reluctantly agreed.

He went back to his class, his mind everywhere but on the lesson.

~1st pov~

Why did I go along with it. If they see me with hi,, it's just going to be another disaster. Maybe she should've just ended her lif-

"Ugh.." She groan as she hit her arm on the side table. "Damnit.." She cursed as she flopped down on the bed, curled up, clutching her arm. She waited for the pain to go away. The feeling of flesh tearing apart certainly wasn't nice yet it was...satisfying?

After a minute or so it did. The nurse came in just after she got up on the bed. She had a sandwich in her hand along with some tea. "Some boy left it here for you, deary. Eat some alright?" Said the old lady. She brought her hand up and placed it lovingly on her forehead. "It's good that you don't have a fever, rest up deary." She placed the bread and tea on the table and walked out, shutting the curtains behind her.

She was a really nice lady, she was warm. Just like a mother...it felt nice. She looked over to the table to see a note stuck on top of the bread. 'I'll wait at the entrance :)'

It really was him. She put away the note and looked at the food. She really was hungry but should she eat it? After contemplating for half a minute, her stomach got the best of her. She gulped down the bread and tea like a beast, feeling somewhat satisfied after eating.

She plopped down and covered herself with the blanket. What was she doing earlier? She wanted to forget. She really did. And so she fell asleep amidst her thoughts.

-boredotaku

~this chapter was rewritten