BWinner's Note: Woohoo, first kiss! I will warn you, that Roy is probably a little more OOC than expected in this chapter… I'm not trying to make him seem like he's sorry for himself, and things will be explained, but for now, eh he might seem a little whiny. Also, just a personal musing from me, Doctor Knox is one of the most fun characters to write for. Damn I love that pessimistic old bastard! XD
Crossing the Line – Ch. 7
Riza's heart raced as she sat on her makeshift bed on the couch. Gingerly she touched her lips, still feeling the ghostly linger of his kiss there, and a smile subtly spread across her face. Living a sheltered existence almost all her young life that had actually been her first kiss, and it carried with it the thrill of excitement in starting something new. Hawkeye tried to think long and hard about the last time her heart had raced with anything besides fear, or the adrenaline felt on the battlefield. Nothing came to mind. It was astounding that any one person could have that kind of effect on her. In a bit of a daze she went to her bags to get her own pajamas and get changed to settle in for the night.
Briefly she had debated pulling out an Ishvalan history text to do some studying of her own, but ultimately decided against it. Taking one night off wouldn't hurt, and besides that fact she wasn't sure she could concentrate that well right now anyway. The idea bothered her slightly considering how well she had done at the shooting range in balancing her emotions and work; however, she surmised this giddy effect would likely stop happening the more she became used to the idea of being in an intimate relationship with the Colonel. So instead Riza dared to allow herself to close her eyes and get some sleep early herself.
A piercing scream of agony caused the woman to jolt awake from her rest. Tearing the blankets off herself she dashed down the hallway towards the source of the sound in the Colonel's bedroom; when she arrived, she found him drenched in sweat, his arms wrapped around himself, and his unseeing eyes staring ahead in fear. He said nothing, merely squeezing his hands tighter around his arms, blood beginning to seep through the bandages that covered the wounds Wrath had inflicted upon him. Riza looked at him with anguish, hating to see the man this way; despite that feeling she was hesitant to get close, remembering what he had told her about attacking Breda. The fit she had encountered almost a week ago had not been this serious, he had merely been calling out. Choosing to keep her distance, Riza found a chair in the room and sat there to watch over him while this incident passed, determined not to let him hurt himself should he start flailing.
Riza made sure to keep an eye on the clock in his room and time just how long this particular night terror continued on for, and she was alarmed to note that Roy stayed in his fear induced frozen state for almost five minutes(*) before proper consciousness took over and he released himself with a hiss of pain. She was going to have to call a doctor to have a look at those wounds as they were likely very strained. For the moment, however, she continued to sit silently, for fear of startling him further.
"Damn it," he cursed in between labored breaths.
Riza couldn't necessarily think of a more opportune time to make herself known, and she gently cleared her throat. "Are you alright?"
Roy gave slight gasp and moved in the direction of her voice with a start. "I-I'm alright," he said after a moment. "I'm sorry to have woken you."
"That's not important right now; we need to attend to your hands, you're bleeding rather profusely from your wounds," she pressed urgently.
Without allowing him a chance to protest she went into the washroom to fill a bowl with warm water and grab some fresh bandages. Swiftly and silently she took one of the Colonel's hands and undressed the wound before dabbing at it with a warm cloth. When it was sufficiently cleaned she hurriedly rewrapped it before moving onto the other hand. Riza noted that the Colonel did his very best not to make a sound as she worked, he merely gritted his teeth and sucked in his breath. After she was finished her work, she laid his hand gently next to him once more and stepped back. Briefly Riza wondered if it was wise leaving him alone, should she stay in that chair in his room for the night? Admittedly she didn't know if a person could have more than one of these night terrors in an evening. Ultimately, however, she decided that would be unwise. She needed her rest as much as he needed his, as she still had to perform a great many duties taking care of him. Knowing from both her own experience and what Roy had explained about the night with Breda, the Colonel was quite vocal in his night terrors, and she would likely hear him have one should it happen again.
"I'm going back to the living room now," she announced quietly. "If you need anything else do not hesitate to shout."
Fortunately for the young woman the rest of the night went by without incident, and she was able to get a decent night's sleep. Riza's alarm went off with a shrill ring and she reached across to quickly silence it as not to wake Roy. Without wasting any time, she went to the kitchen to prepare the coffee and that morning's breakfast making sure to keep it simple with just toasted scones and butter with fruit preserves. Once she was satisfied that things were in order she began to look for the colonel's address book. It was eventually found beneath a stack of books and she wasted no time getting Doctor Knox's number.
"Hello? Who in the hell do you think you are calling this early in the morning?" the gruff male voice demanded on the other end of the line.
"Doctor Knox, this is Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye; I'm sorry if I woke you, but I'm going to have to ask you to come and look at Colonel Mustang's hands if at all possible today," Riza replied, completely unfazed by the man's brusque nature.
She was met with a loud and very annoyed sigh, and distinctly heard some grumbling before the man replied. "Fine, it's not like I can argue with you lot anyway, you'll just harass me until you get the answers you want. I'll be there early this afternoon." Then he promptly hung up.
More or less satisfied with the response she got Riza went into the kitchen and grabbed Black Hayate's kibble before she fixed herself a coffee. For a long time, she sat alone in the kitchen nursing the beverage and feeling slightly concerned that the man in the room down the hall hadn't stirred once that morning. Perhaps last night's incident had taken more of a toll on him than she initially anticipated. However, by 10:30am she decided that he shouldn't be allowed to sleep the day away and got up to wake him.
"Colonel," she called out, gently shaking the man's shoulder. "Colonel Mustang, it's late and you really should consider getting up and eating something."
Said colonel gave a tired noise of protest but turned his face towards her. "You know, given the circumstances, when we're alone like this you can call me by my name," he finally said.
"I… I guess so," she replied a little meekly. For some reason the idea of being on a first name basis with the colonel still made her feel uneasy. If she got too comfortable doing so, she might slip up at the wrong time and create problems for the two of them.
Choosing to say nothing else Hawkeye selected his clothing for the day and allowed him to get dressed. She reheated the pot of coffee over the stove as she waited for him to come out of the room but frowned when she realized the scones were a lost cause. Well, at the very least he could dip them in his coffee to soften them up. It didn't take too much longer for Roy to come out of his room, and she watched him as he felt his way down the hallway and through the living room to the kitchen. It was awful that he even had to do so, but she noted that he was adapting more and more to his situation and finding various ways to be independent even in his blind state. Riza allowed him to get comfortable at the table before passing him his coffee and placing a plate with a couple of scones on it in front of him.
"You'll have to forgive the scones; in hindsight I should have waited to toast them," she apologized.
"No, it's alright. It's my fault for having stayed in bed as late as I did…" Roy offered, and then took on a pensive look. "Hey, Riza… I'd like you to take me to Hughes' grave today," his voice was soft; pained even.
The request was almost startling to Hawkeye, but she supposed it only made sense that Roy would want to make peace with his fallen friend and comrade considering the events of the last couple of weeks. "Of course," she agreed. "Only it will have to be later in the afternoon; I've called Doctor Knox to come over and look at your hands."
The colonel lifted his head and fixed her with a look that was just as annoyed as it was perplexed. "Why would you do that? My hands feel fine. He'll say so himself and then get annoyed we've wasted his time."
"That's a lie and we both know it," she shot back before she could stop herself. "I understand that it's a hit to your pride to be so incapacitated, but you have to understand your own limits; you also have to allow others to help you if you ever expect to get better!"
Roy bristled and looked as if he was going to fire back when a bang on the door startled the two of them.
"She's right stubborn idiot!" came a muffled shout from the other side.
Riza recognized the voice as that of Doctor Knox and was surprised considering it was only half past eleven. Regardless she got up to answer the door and let the man in. The perpetually scowling man brushed passed the woman rather briskly and moved to place his bag on the kitchen counter before washing his hands. Riza merely sighed and closed the door behind him before taking her seat at the dining room table once more.
"What brings you so early doctor?" Roy asked, his tone still acidic. "Hawkeye just finished saying we wouldn't be expecting you until later, unless my sense of time is that skewed now."
"Damn it, Mustang!" the man bellowed. "What in the hell did I tell you about that crap attitude of yours! You might not have been the one to call me, but your lovely subordinate here did. Because I know you as well as I do I am very much inclined to believe her when she tells me something is wrong; so, sit down, shut up, and let me do my work!"
Hawkeye chose to remain silent, not wanting to add to the air of animosity quickly building. Although she couldn't help but smile a little at the colonel's expense when he took on the angry pout of an admonished child. The doctor soon came to the table with his medical bag and took a seat next to Roy. Gently he reached over and grasped the closest hand to him and removed the bandages, if possible his scowl grew deeper upon giving it a close inspection.
"You've got the starting of wound dehiscence; it more or less means there's been too much time between ripping your stitches back open and having me come to repair it. The skin isn't fusing together right. Lucky for you it's not too terrible yet and I can fix it without too much damage to your hands," he gently put that hand down and reached across for the other one, repeating the process on it. "I can essentially guess what happened to do this kind of damage, and I know it's only been one day, but I am trusting in that time you have taken my advice and refrained from anything stressful. If not, this is only going to get worse for you, be it straining your hands or another injury."
"We've made sure he's taken it easy," Hawkeye interjected, watching as Doctor Knox dug through his medical kit.
The man nodded in turn for now and proceeded to pull out medical needles and surgical thread as well as bottles of iodine and saline solutions. Quietly he rummaged around the kitchen and emerged with a metal bowl to pour the iodine into. Placing the needles and silk thread in the bowl he turned to Colonel Mustang once more. "It'll be about ten minutes for me to be able to get to work. In that time, I want you to tell me what brain storming you've been doing in regards to reducing the amount of stress you're under."
Roy frowned and kept his head bowed towards the table. "I've been trying to express my thoughts and feelings to people close to me who have needed to hear such thoughts and feelings for a long time," he said, seemingly choosing his wording very carefully. "I'm also going to be trying to obtain closure for myself the incidents from the promised day and beyond. Even if it's only talking to his ghost, I need Hughes to know that he didn't back the wrong man. Of course, I've listened to you as well, and will continue to listen to you for now, and have ceased my relentless studying. Ishval needs the work I am going to do, but it needs it from a stable me."
"Hmph, you're doing better than I ever thought to, so thank god you know how to take advice from your elders," he responded in a gruff tone. "Now, before I start I have to warn you, I have nothing for anesthetic. Do you want something to bite on while I work?"
"No, doc," Roy replied with a tinge of guilt in his voice. "Just do what you need to do."
The procedure was mercifully short, taking about ten minutes on each hand. Riza once again watched in silence as Roy merely grit his teeth and scrunched his face in pain but made barely a sound aside from brief grunts or heavy breathing. Doctor Knox snipped the last piece of thread before dabbing at his work with a damp warm cloth and beginning to pack up his supplies. It was while he was washing some of his instruments in the kitchen that she got up from the table to speak with him on a private level.
"Doctor Knox, I'm afraid I need some advice," she began in a tone just above a whisper. "I won't lie that I feel completely helpless when the Colonel has one of those fits in his sleep. I just want to know if there's anything aside from easing his stress that we can do to help him through this."
"Get into bed with him," the man replied without looking up at her.
"I beg your pardon?" she shot back incredulously.
"When he's finished thrashing after his fit, get into bed with him and hold him, say reassuring things to him; do anything you can think of that would calm him." He turned the tap off and faced her now, his expression entirely serious.
"I'll remind you that I am a female, lower ranking officer, and such an action would be highly inappropriate," she insisted.
"Look, do you want him to get better or not? Because medically that's the best advice I can give; a soothing embrace will bring down his levels of adrenaline and help him refocus his mind better. As for your military rank, you two are alone here; if you don't say anything who will know?" Not waiting for her response, he proceeded to march back into the dining room and put away the rest of his materials.
"What are you two whispering about?" Roy asked, and Riza felt her cheeks flush a little.
"Nothing that concerns you," Doctor Knox answered abruptly. "I know it's not entirely in your control at this point, but do your best not to move those hands," and with nothing left to be said he let himself out.
The silence that lingered in the air after his departure was thick.
TBC…
(*)When looking up night terrors for the incident in this chapter I found a medical website describing people suffering from this being stuck in a paralysis state from anywhere from five minutes to fifteen minutes. The same web page also said that one of the best ways to handle someone after a night terror is to be calm with them, and embrace them… just reassure them. It just happens that works in my favour for this fic.