BWinner's Note: My apologies for how late this has been. I try to update every month, but I've been back to work for a couple of months now and that combined with taking care of a rambunctious one-year old leaves very little time for writing. I'll try to be more on the ball with future chapters, please be patient with me!

Crossing the Line - Chapter. 8

Roy sat silently a moment longer, taking easing breaths he tried to push the pain he felt to the back of his mind. There were more important matters at hand right now, like a visit to an old friend that had been put off for far too long. Roy had originally considered going when his sight was restored and when his wounds had healed a little more, however, seeing as that was going to take longer than planned, he didn't feel right putting this trip off any longer than he had been. Before any of that could take place though, he owed his Lieutenant an apology.

"I'm sorry," he finally said quietly. "I shouldn't hinder you when you're only trying to help me… I've caused you so much trouble already."

"You know that's not how I see it, Sir," she replied, her tone stern but not harsh.

Roy gave a soft chuckle and shook his head; he shouldn't have expected any other response from the woman. He was grateful that they had the level of understanding they did between them, and that either of them wouldn't hold an off day against the other.

"If it's okay, Riza, I'd like to get going now," he confessed.

"Yes, right away," she replied.

Within a few moments she had gathered his coat and shoes and helped him into them before leading him out of the apartment and to his car. The drive was long, and oddly silent; as their journey continued Roy could feel the lump in his throat getting bigger. He couldn't decide whether it was a blessing or a curse that he couldn't tell how close they were getting to the cemetery.

Since his friend's death Roy had been thinking a lot about the time they had shared together, and there was one thing his mind constantly fell to, that he had jinxed his friend(*). Roy had always given him a hard time for gushing over his family, due to the fact that in books and movies the happy family man was always the first to be killed, then that exact thing happened to Hughes. Perhaps if Roy had kept his mouth shut, he would have been safe. Deep in his heart of hearts he knew that wasn't true, but it was a thought that had burned its way into his head anyway.

Of course, he couldn't forget how he had relentlessly pursued Hughes' killer. He felt bad enough for hurting Hawkeye at that time, but in his rage, he had also marred the memory of his friend. He had become an insult to everything Hughes was working towards; he had become unworthy of being pushed to the top. When reflecting on that incident it felt as if all the hard work Hughes had managed to do had become undone.

Roy felt the car jerk to a stop and took a deep breath. His passenger's side door soon opened and he felt Riza take his hand and help him from the car. Within a few minutes they came to a stop and Roy flexed his hands gently by his side in an unconscious display of nerves.

"Is there anyone else around?" he asked softly.

"No, Sir," came the verification. One he was relieved to hear.

"Then, if you don't mind, could you leave me here alone for a while. You can keep me in sight, but I'd like a private moment," he requested.

"As you wish," she agreed softly.

Roy stood and waited for a few moments to make sure she was out of earshot before daring to address his friend. "I'm sorry," he stated after a particularly long moment. "I'm so sorry it's taken so long for me to come here... I should tell you first off, we won Hughes, we're taking this country back from the evil that corrupted it. You were onto something real big about the evil coming from within the government, but you had no idea how big; King Bradley was one of them. Our very own leader," Roy gave a humourless chuckle.

Heaving an uneasy sigh Roy hung his head. He was having a hard time getting to the point. There was a deep feeling of shame he was unable to shake standing here, and even though Hughes was unable to speak back to him, he felt that if he were to admit his flaw, he would lose the connection he felt with his friend. However, if he didn't finally get it off his chest, and ask for forgiveness from the ghost of his friend, Roy knew he would never be able to live with himself.

"Hughes, I owe you one more apology," he began slowly. "I found your killer, and although I avenged you, I did it in the worst possible way. Losing you, especially in the way I did, I led you into a rat's nest that ended in your demise... and learning, learning how the enemy killed you... A passionate man like yourself didn't deserve such a cruel fate. I became a maniac Hughes, consumed by my rage; if it hadn't been for Riza, and Edward, even Scar if you can believe it, I'd have gone over the edge and been lost to my hatred forever." Tears welled up in his eyes now and he turned his head from his friend's grave in shame. "Above all else I've come to tell you how sorry I am, even if you can never forgive me."

Roy stood alone for a while longer and was careful to wipe away the evidence of his weakness. When Riza finally returned, she made her presence known with a gentle grasp of his sleeve. Roy didn't know if his tear stained eyes were obvious or not, but if they were, she made no mention of it; something he was grateful for. They didn't exchange words, merely stood in silence at the grave site with their hands gently entwined.

After another brief moment Roy tugged at her hand, indicating he was ready to go. She made the quiet suggestion to go to a small deli to have a more relaxed lunch, and he agreed. The rest of the day was simply quiet and with little excitement; Roy felt emotionally drained and Riza seemed to understand that so they opted to take another stroll in the park by his apartment before heading back.

After super that evening Roy opted once again for an early bed time. Despite the likelihood of another night terror, Roy really just wanted this day to be over with, and the tension that came with it. Once more he was relieved when he didn't hear Riza protest, she merely handed him his night clothes and bid him a good night. Frustratingly though, Roy found he couldn't fall asleep that easily. While he had known it wasn't going to be an instant fix, the guilt of the situation with Hughes, and all it entailed after the fact, still weighed heavily on his conscience…

Roy's eyes snapped open, and suddenly, frighteningly he felt his chest tighten to the point of being painful. Something was wrong, very wrong. He could feel it in his bones, something was coming, but he couldn't see damn it! Yet no matter how hard he tried he couldn't close his eyes to alleviate that awkward sensation of the eyes being open only to have a world of darkness. His body wouldn't move either, not a twitch or a flinch... Roy was paralyzed, blind, and very much afraid. His breathing quickened, while he simultaneously tried to catch his breath. Were there footsteps in the room? He was sure he could hear something coming towards him, heavy and lumbering the sound pounded in his ears.

"...I'm right here, it's okay..." a gentle voice suddenly began to cut through the noise and chaos. "Take it easy, I'm here by your side," he heard it again.

Groggily Roy came to and gained control of his body; he felt a hand stroking his own, and there was a weight lying beside him on the bed. "Riza?" he ventured cautiously.

"Are you awake now? It's okay, I'm here with you," she replied.

"It almost felt worse this time," he confessed. "Perhaps going to Hughes' grave today was a mistake." Roy didn't think to question why she was lying next to him, he was just grateful to have the warmth and comfort by his side.

"It almost sounded worse," she admitted. "Your scream was much louder, and it seemed to last for at least a couple of minutes before you started to almost hyperventilate. Why would you think having a moment at the grave of your best friend was a mistake though?"

"Be-because I had to dredge up all of my guilty feelings," Roy stated softly. "Even though that thing took my best friend, I still feel like I'm the one responsible for his death. Not only did he follow me in trying to expose the government and push me to the top... I swear I feel like I jinxed him."(*)

"I'm afraid I don't follow, what in the world could you have done to jinx him?" Riza asked sounding very perplexed.

"Hughes always did like to talk about his family; before he had his daughter, it was of his wife, and well, you know how he got when Elicia was born. Any time he would start gushing over them, and I was around, I would joke at him to stop and tell him that guys who go on and on about their families are always the ones to be killed in books and movies... and that's exactly what happened to him." Roy felt that lump in his throat again as he spoke. "If I had kept my stupid mouth shut, Elicia would still have her father, and Gracia her husband."

"That's crazy!" Riza stressed. "You shouldn't possibly think for a moment that just because you said something in jest, you caused a man to die."

"I know it sounds stupid," Roy admitted sullenly. "It's just something I haven't been able to stop thinking about since his death."

He was startled when he felt the woman next to him collect him in her arms and hold him gently to her, a reassuring hand running through his hair. "You foolish man," she murmured.

Roy struggled a little to turn while in her embrace to face her, before wrapping his own arms around her. "If I'm honest, the memory of almost losing you still haunts me as well. Sometimes when I'm in that moment between wakefulness and sleep I see that horrible image of you in my mind's eye, bloodied and crumpled on the cold concrete floor of those tunnels. My stubbornness and stupidity nearly cost your life as well… I could have lost everything."

"How many times do I need to tell you, my decisions are my own, and I decided to follow you." Her tone was back to sounding displeased. "I would risk everything all over again if it meant seeing you safe, and seeing you achieve your goals."

Roy grit his teeth and pulled Riza's forehead against his own. He of course knew that he should know better, and that Riza was perfectly capable of taking care of herself, but even still many of his ambitions brought on an unnecessary danger in multiple ways. Even now when things had lulled into what could be considered peace, the Ishval region was still quite unstable, going there presented many risks of violent backlash. The Ishval Policy was for the greater good, of course, but Roy still knew if anything happened to Riza, he would blame himself for it.

"Thank you," he murmured after a while. "Thank you for listening to me, thank you for believing in me."

Nothing more was said and Roy leaned up to kiss her forehead before tucking her head under his chin and continuing to hold her close. It was a silent plea for her to stay next to him tonight, one he noticed she made no move to protest. He found it took no time for him to fall back asleep now, wrapped up in the care and understanding of the woman he loved.

TBC…

(*)There's no proof Roy thinks he jinxed his friend, that's just some head-canon I have. You can absolutely disagree with me on it if you want to.

A/N: Well then, after all that excitement that was a more somber note. I've always had the feeling that Roy would want to talk to Hughes after all was said and done, especially after his altercation with Envy. I don't think it would be an easy moment for him necessarily, but one he would eventually want to take on. I know he visited his grave in the series before the final battle, but so much happened in that final battle, especially the war against himself, that I really think he'd have wanted to talk to the ghost of his friend again.