Crazy trouble with love part 8

Melanie and Martin

Series: Martin Mystery

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-New York, New York City, Museum of Natural History-

It was a dark stormy night as the camera zoomed towards the Native American exhibit. Here a lone person was currently jotting down some last minute notes they had forgotten to take earlier.

"Ok, one exhibit on the history of the Aztec empire. Check." spoke the figure while writing in a book with a pen. "Next is the Mayan civilization."

ZAP!

BOOOOOM!

"Man, sounds like it's gonna be bad later on, I better hurry this up and get home or I'm gonna get soaked." The figure muttered before walking faster as the lightning kept on flashing. "I better grab some painkillers before I do, I'm starting to get a headache from all that thunder."

ZAP!

BOOOOOOM!

The figure reached the end of the hallway before noticing that they needed to use the bathroom.

"Damn the museum food. Greasy yet affordable for anyone." they grumbled turning down the hall and went to the ladies restroom while setting their book down on the sink and went to a stall.

(Five minutes later)

FLUSH!

"Ah, much better." they sighed walking out and went to clean their hands and showing off a red headed woman, with dark brown eyes, a D cup chest and medium sized ass, while in a white shirt under an open green long sleeved jacket with the sleeves rolled up and a green scarf around their neck with light tan shorts.

This was Professor Melanie Samson, an archaeologist extraordinar and a member of the staff, well mostly a professor that heads the archaeology department. And right now, she is alone, with no one else and trying to not think about giant slimy aliens from Peru.

"Ugh, these headaches are driving me nuts. How can you even get them from writing reports." she muttered while drying her hands. "Ugh, still can't believe I got a headache at my age."

As she dried her hands, she didn't notice that her eyes were slowly changing from a dark brown to a light brown color. When she was done she headed out with her book and went to her office.

'Why the headaches? Ugh, please don't let it be a side effect of another cursed artifact? I had enough problems with conquering aliens, I don't need a cursed artifact ruining my life.' She thought with a grumble. When she reached her office she went ahead and took some painkillers from the bottle on the desk while ignoring taking water and grabbed her stuff. "Better get out of here."

That was when she noticed that a strange thought came into her mind.

'FUCK! I missed the taxi! FUUUUUUUCCCCKKKKK!'

"What?" she looked around confused. "Hello? Is someone there?"

'Oh my god!' Another though yelled out. 'Penny! I got a penny! YAHOO!'

'RUBY AND SALEM FOREVER!'

'FUCK THE WHORE! FUCK THE WHORE!'

'AHHHHH! A GUN! A-'

'TUNA!'

The woman screamed in pain as the thoughts kept on coming like a super fast subway train. She covered her ears and cried out while stumbling out of her office and looked around. "Who's there?! Show yourself!"

'KILL KILL KILL!'

'I WANT MORE MONEY!'

'FLYING PIGS! AHHHH!'

'GOODBYE CRUEL WORLD!'

'OH GOD! I'M SO HIGH!'

'AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!'

'I love today, so much pussy.'

Melanie cried out while trying to find the source of the 'voices'. "Stop it! All of you just stop it and quiet down!"

But the voices kept on going and going and going until she started to go mad from all the voices as her eyes began to turn a dark shade of amber.

"SHUT UP!" She snapped while raising a hand up.

CRASH!

Causing a car to burst through the nearby wall and set off the alarms.

BEEP BEEP BEEEEEEP!

She stood there in shock while the voices kept on coming as her eyes turned a bright yellow color. She covered her ears and groaned feeling the headache growing. 'MAKE IT STOP!'

'PENNIES!'

'RWBY IS THE BEST!'

'SUMOS!'

'I'M GOING TO BE A MILLIONAIRE!'

'YAHOOOO!'

'Oh there we are, really I should check my systems next time. Now where is that human?'

"SHUT UP!" she yelled while not noticing stuff in the office was floating up before they went flying and smashing against the walls. "EVERYONE SHUT UP!"

"Um." spoke a figure behind her. "Are you by chance Professor Melanie Samson?"

"AAAAAAAAHHHHH!" she screamed with the figure yelping as she turned around. "QUIET!"

"Woah." said a small green alien in a hoverchair. "Relax, I'm not here to hurt you." 'Just say hi and get you ready for the Harem Act.'

"What are you talk...wait. ANOTHER ALIEN?!" she screamed jumping back and fell on her ass and started scrambling away. "G-Get away from me!"

"Um, I'm not a man eating alien." 'Well I did used to eat other species but that's a long time ago...about um...ugh? I forgot!'

"AAAAAH! You will not eat me!"

"What I'm not going to eat you." 'Maybe think about your chest, which is kinda flat compared to the girls I've dated.' he thought before seeing her throw her book at him making him duck. "Wait hear me out!"

"No!" She snapped while throwing more books at him. "You will not eat me! Or stare at my chest! Or even try to calm me down with Elvis music! I hate that stuff!"

"But-"

"And don't even try and flatter me with sweet talk! I'm not a valley girl!"

"I'm harmless!"

"Yeah and I'm a bimbo! Which I'm not!" She snapped while throwing a table at him, sending the alien crashing into a wall as she ran deeper into the museum. "Stay away from me you perverted alien scum!"

"Ow...since when am I the pervert?" he groaned rubbing his head.

As Melanie ran into the dinosaur wing, she turned a corner and saw a woman in a white outfit standing next to a fossil of an Allosaurus.

"Professor Melanie Samson." She said calmly. "A pleasure to see you. Especially after that incident in Peru."

"You!" She growled. "You're the woman with that strange logo!"

The woman sighed. "Stop talking for a moment please."

"Why should I?"

"Because you are currently experiencing changes to your very DNA."

"...WHAT?!"

"Mostly minor ones, but drastic in some cases. Such as the fact you just read my mind and found a false memory of me as a fat kid. I assure you that is false." She said while the professor looked wide eyed. "So can we take a seat or are you going to throw a truck at me next?"

"You...You're crazy!"

"And so are you for disturbing the Nazca lines. Especially when you awakened the Aztsapians from their ten hundred year sleep." She sighed. "And now I have to explain to the Aztsapian Empire's ambassador about why we just sent a few ashes to their homeworld along with several confidential documents about their expansion plans to the Galactic Senate of Planets." 'Politics, ugh.'

Melanie blinked while looking shocked.

"Anyway, I'm here to explain a few things, including your personal life."

"Just not my lovelife! I'm not a lonely slob!" She growled as the woman sighed again. "And WHO ARE YOU?!"

"Mom."

"..."

"Or just Olivia, your choice."

"Look, 'Mom', I'm grateful for before, sending help when I was stuck there, but right now? I'm trying to have a meltdown from all the STUPID VOICES IN MY HEAD!"

"It's thoughts." She said calmly. "More accurately other people's thoughts."

"Well I got that now! Ow!" she held her head with a groan. "What's happening to me?"

"You have Aztsapian DNA, meaning you acquired their telekinetic abilities. While not the most advanced aliens in terms of logic, they are known to have enough mental control to crush a planet into a black hole, if in a group." Mom said. "As for one that bathed in their suspended animation chambers with their waste for a few days to get a perfect DNA sample, it is a rare one out of ten scenario. Luckily you didn't explode or cause an entire city to sink into the upper mantle by mistake."

"Wait…you mean that I'm….mutating into an alien!?"

"No. Just into a hybrid." She replied. "Also you should stop thinking about the waste part, it's not good for your mental state."

"Wait...what?! That slime was their waste?!"

"They were in suspended animation, not dead. Something had to come out and luckily for humans, they only excrete foreign toxins from their sweat glands, not their rears."

"THAT'S NOT THE POINT!"

"Well the point is that you're going to keep mutating to a point, and it'd be bad if you caused anymore damage to this museum, even if it's by accident."

Melanie looked down at her feet.

"Although there is a way to remedy that."

"Is it the Harem Act the alien thought about?"

"Part of it, but not all of it."

"Then tell me."

"At the Center."

"...center of what?"

She deadpanned. "Not what I had in mind, but at least you were the first person to say that." 'No you aren't. Ugh, for an archeologist, she is very foolish.'

"HEY!" she frowned. "I heard that!"

"And I meant every word of it." She said as a blue and white portal appeared out of nowhere. "Now, step into my office."

(Later)

-The Center, Mom's office-

"Wow, this is kinda...more empty than I was expecting."

Mom walked over to her chair and sat down. "Well it is set to my comfort zone, now Melanie, take a seat and we can get started."

Melanie walked over and sat down.

"Now as you have just realized, you are becoming a Aztsapian hybrid." She said bluntly. "Thus a public hazard for normal society."

"Gee, aren't you sensitive." remarked Melanie sarcastically. "Why don't you just say I'm gonna flatten a whole city while you're at it?"

"Well you will, one day." She said calmly. "Most hybrids of your magnitude, whether magical or alien in origin, have to potential to destroy the planet in more ways than one, which is why the Center usually sends agents to either destroy them or trap them within our facilities." 'Or just leave them be to be hunted by poachers.'

"Destroy them?! Are you...wait, you are!"

"Some say mad, others say logical." She said. "That is your perception."

Melanie gulped.

"As your current situation, we are not going to kill you." Mom deadpanned. "Besides, you have a long life." 'Of being single and alone. Still her file is rather long...and covered in potato chips. Better get the agent who gave me her file into my office for a good lesson on hygiene, still slime girls are naturally messy.'

"I'm not alone!"

"Yet you were alone in the museum."

"Oh! W-Well that's just because I like to stay behind and make sure nothing out of the ordinary, if you're not careful someone could break in and then we'd be out of a priceless artifact."

"Among other things." Mom said. "But the reason why you're here is simple. A two part deal involving the Harem Act."

Melanie raised an eyebrow.

"Do you want the first part of the deal or the last part to be heard first?"

"Just say it all."

"You sure? Your mind might not be ready for all the information at once, even with your newly acquired telekinesis."

"Just tell me."

"For starters, we can get your powers under control and can offer you a spot in the Center's archeology department." Mom said. "After all, the last one retired last year." 'By getting eaten by a kraken.'

"Then it's not retirement, it's being replaced." remarked Melanie with a raised eyebrow.

"True, but that's the first part." She pulled out a contract from her desk. "The next one...well you read it."

She did so while scanning through the paper. "Let's see…wait WHAT?! I'm in a harem with him?! And I'm part of his 'Martin's Angel's' team?!"

"The last part was my idea, for nostalgic purposes." 'Plus it might work out since I'm the head lady.'

"No way! I'm not agreeing to being in a harem! And no it won't work out, head lady or not!"

"Even if you already signed it." She pointed to the bottom. "I sent a copy to you disguised as a normal piece of paperwork. And you signed it with permanent ink, that and the paper is legally binding and can't be broken by any known laws since it's been approved by ten thousand known planets and dimensions." 'And one know micro universe. Still don't know why Antman wanted to sign it, must be a hero complex or something.'

"WHAT?!"

"The Antman part or the legally binding part?"

"No! Everything else! Tricking me into signing it is illegal!"

"Not when no one but our organization knows about the contract." She said with a small smile. "And trust me, we are the only organization that keeps an eye on space faring and paranormal activities, thus we make the laws that keep the 'normals' from finding out and causing mass chaos. That and we can make any laws or contracts as long as it doesn't destroy the entire universe, which hasn't happened since the days of Solomon." 'And that tiny hiccup involving the Nazis creating UFO's to win the war during the years nineteen forty eight to nineteen sixty two. That was a catastrophe for us...although it did give us a lot of sci fi movies in the process after the neutralization of those events. Also Professor Melanie, stop reading my mind right now.'

She jumped while looking horrified at that bit of secret history. "I-I didn't hear anything!"

"Sure you didn't." Mom deadpanned. "And the contract is legal so you can't not get rid of it. End of discussion."

Melanie screamed in frustration.

"Please refrain from screaming. We have sensitive agents here with good hearing."

"I HAVE A RIGHT TO SCREAM!" she jumped up while not noticing her eyes turning more yellow. "You're not giving me any choice to become a random mail order bride!"

Mom sighed before pulling out a tube of slime and chucked it at Melanie's eyes. "Temporarily telekinesis dimmers if you are wondering. Now sit down and stop acting like Agent Mystery, oh wait...that might be your next occupation. Mrs. Mystery." 'Has a strange ring to it.'

"Ahhh!" She dried out as her eyes stopped glowing. "Don't say that!"

"Why not?" smirked Mom. "Is someone getting flustered?"

"Just don't!"

"You enjoy him?"

"I do not!"

"Even after he helped rescue you? Now that's rude."

"What?! But he's-"

"Charming? Handsome? Annoying? Young?"

"A minor!" frowned the woman. "If you're desperate to get him his own harem, then go talk to someone else, not me."

"Again, it's still legal."

"You get what I mean!"

Mom chuckled. "We can discuss the details later, once we get you to Torrington and get your accommodations ready, professor of archaeology."

"Uh uh, no way, not happening." she stood up shaking her head. "I'm walking out of here, back to the museum, and sleeping the day away. The only way I'm listening to this insanity is if you-" she was cut off when she saw Mom pull out an alien looking pistol aimed at her.

"Hold a gun up to you? Was that what you were going to say?" She said calmly. "Because if you were, then this proton blaster will have another victim."

'AAAAAHHHH!' paled Melanie backing up. "N-Now hold on, let's not be hasty."

Click.

"I suggest you sit back down before you end up without a head."

The redhead gulped and sat back down.

"Good." Mom said. "Now, you will be signing the contract's subcategory signature and come to Torrington."

"And if I don't?"

"You know the old saying, till death do you part? Well this is like that, and the only way you're getting out of this without a pulse." Mom frowned. "So choose carefully, Agent Samson."

"Agent?"

"Yes, you are an agent here. As for your old job, officially your contract with the museum ended last night and you are currently unemployed."

"WHAT?!"

"So agent, shall we head off to the lab for your 'recruitment gift'?"

"Not like I have much choice do I?"

"You don't."

Melanie grumbled at this. "Fine, let's just get it over with."

Mom smirked. "Follow me."

Melanie got up and followed the woman with a scowl.

'I never get tired of adding another member. At this point it's become a hobby.'

(Later)

-Torrington Academy-

Martin grumbled as he stayed in his room, all the while trying to figure out why the girls, including a certain witch, were out doing a mission Mom signed them to...without him! Frankly, he was more surprised she was giving them a real mission to do without much training.

The only problem was that he didn't have anything new to do. He's read his comics, watched his movies, and finished his homework.

And now...he's bored as fuck!

"I wish I could go on missions too, well at least get out of this room." he groaned while flopping on his side. "I can't even surf the web since Mom put those locks on. One bad virus isn't the end of the world."

As he looked at the wall, he noticed some mold on it.

"Ew." he grimaced. "Maybe I should do some cleaning just to make the day go by faster. It'd get Diana off my back too."

That was when Mom walked into his room. "Martin, attention!"

And cue him getting up and saluting.

"At ease!" she spoke making him relax. "I can see you're spending your day with energy."

"Well, I'm doing nothing so that helps."

"I can see that." She crossed her arms. "As for my reason here, another member of the Harem Act has just arrived in Torrington as a professor."

"Really? That's great!" he beamed before blinking. "Wait...why didn't you tell me this sooner?"

"We had several issues with this one." She said while pulling out a file. "Especially with her attempt of destroying a museum with a truck."

"What?"

"Just read the file."

Martin looked confused before giving the file a once over. "Melanie Samson? Why does that sound familiar?"

"She was in Peru during the Nazca line incident."

"Um…"

"The Aztsapians."

"Who?"

"The conquering aliens." She deadpanned.

"Um…"

"You need to read the files more often."

"And being notified on getting another girlfriend ahead of time needs to happen more often too."

"I sent you an email just last week."

Martin blinked. "Oh...I thought that was junk mail."

She facepalmed. 'Idiot!'

"Wait! Now I remember! She was that professor!" he spoke spotting the picture and smiled. "Wow, now that takes me back. I even got a kiss out of her from doing such a good job, if she was that into me, I would have called." he smirked with pride.

"She hates the idea." Mom said bluntly. "And finds you annoying, yet she's a classic case of 'maiden syndrome'."

"Wait, what? She hates me? But what'd I do?"

"She just doesn't want to be in a harem, plus you are a minor. Even if the contract is legal in every sense of the word."

"...oh." he looked confused. "So wait, if she hates the idea, how'd she get pulled into it?"

"Force." She pulled out her gun. "Lethal force."

"Isn't that a bit much?" he sweatdropped.

"Not for a hybrid."

"What?"

"I will explain later, but you should go to the archaeology department. Introduce yourself to her."

"Well at least it's something to do besides sit here all day."

"Also I suggest you give her a kiss, surprise her." 'And watch the fireworks.'

"That sounds a bit too quick, I mean you just said she's in this through force, which kinda makes it…"

"Official. So just seal the deal." She pointed to the door. "Just go."

"Alright alright, I'm going." He said before running out of the room, not knowing Mom was stealing his underwear.

'Better keep some underwear for the collection.'

(Much later)

"Ok Martin, try to help her feel relaxed. Don't be obnoxious, just give her a friendly greeting since it's been a while." He said to himself while walking down the hallway. "I better try to be easy on the Harem Act, I don't want her to get real mad at me."

That was when he saw the room and opened it to reveal...an empty room with a pink, yellow, blue and white diamond on the table while Martin felt like it meant something...but didn't know why exactly.

"Uh, hello?"

Silence.

"Hey, it's me Martin."

Silence.

"Hello?"

Silence.

"She's probably out somewhere." He muttered before seeing the diamonds and looked at them with interest. "I wonder what these are?" he walked over and picked one up. "I don't think I've ever seen a pink diamond before."

POOF!

And cue a small pink woman, about the size of the room, appearing in the room.

"Hi...um is this Homeworld?" She asked as Martin ran away in fear. "Huh? What's wrong...weird."

(With Martin)

"AAAAAAHHHH!" He screamed while running down the hall. "GIANT LADY!"

"If only we were so lucky." muttered a nerd reading a book.

"Agreed." Another one said as Melanie got out of the bathroom on the other side of the wall.

'Stupid school menus.' She thought while currently wearing a white lab coat and a gold ring with a small heart gem on it over her left ring finger. 'I really need to bring my own non grease filled lunches from now on.'

'AAAAAAAHHH!'

'Eh-'

CRASH!

"OW!" she yelped with a frown and her eyes closed. "Hey why don't you watch where you're going?"

"Oh sorry." Martin groaned. 'That was scary! A giant gem lady...oh god this is like a horror movie!'

"Gem lady?" she muttered before looking up and inwardly groaned. "Martin, what are you doing on me?"

"Um...running away...wait." He pointed at her. "Samson?!" 'Wow, she looks good in a lab coat.'

"Thanks." she spoke with Martin getting off of her and offering his hand. "Just what are you running away from?"

"Um…" 'Ah! Right the giant gem lady! Why did I just touch the diamond?!'

"You touched the cursed diamonds?! You idiot!" she snapped while getting on her feet. "Those gems are said to bring bad luck to anyone who touches them for a decade!"

"B-But they-"

"And now a giant lady is running around the school!"

"But-" he tried to say before the pink woman walked by with the gems in her hands, trying to get out of the area.

"Where is the warp pad? Where is it?"

"AH!" they screamed with the woman wandering off.

Martin gulped. "Um...at least she's not oozing goo right?"

"Don't bring that up." glared Melanie with Martin chuckling nervously. "Do you realize what you've done? Ugh, like today wasn't already painful enough."

"Well…" 'Wow, she's really crabby today.'

"For obvious reasons!" she snapped with Martin jumping.

"Ok ok! I get it, I goofed up." 'That was odd.'

"And you are odd." Melanie frowned. "And stop looking at my chest! It's inappropriate!"

Martin blushed and looked away while Melanie huffed and shook her head.

'Great, right away I run into the guy I'm forced to marry, and now I have to deal with those cursed diamonds, what else could go wrong?'

Chu.

And cue a quick kiss on the lips.

"Um…" 'There! I did it...ugh, Mom. Don't do that again!'

Melanie blushed and glared with Martin backing up. "Tell that woman to give me a moments peace, or else." before turning and walked off in a huff.

"...um…" 'FUCK!'

(Later on)

"So, how was your meeting?" Mom asked while sitting on his bed.

"Well...she hates me now."

"Obviously, you did kiss her and unleashed a Gem." She deadpanned. "Thankfully she left this dimension before someone got hurt."

"You're the one who wanted me to kiss her! And the diamond thing was a complete accident!"

"So?"

"Ugh." He grumbled.

"Also you have classes with her now, private classes to be exact. Every day for the rest of your college years."

"Are you nuts Mom? How's she gonna stand me? For that matter, I never got an answer when you mentioned she was being a hybrid?"

"I see, you really want an answer?"

"Of course."

"The answer is simple, she's an Aztsapian hybrid due to being covered in the ooze, or just their way of excrement."

"GROSS!" he grimaced covering his mouth. "Are you talking about where we found her?"

"Where else?"

"So you mean she's turning into a goo alien hybrid? That sounds...wow! Tell me, does that mean she's gonna be able to move stuff with her mind? Or shoot psionic blasts from her head?"

"Telekinesis, and sure not covered in slime."

"Wow, that sounds way cool!" he beamed with stars in his eyes before blinking. "Wait...what about mind reading?"

"She has it, but it's limited now."

"So, hypothetically speaking, she's able to read any minds she wants to, right?"

"Like watching a tv screen."

Martin paled in horror. "That explains how she talked to me like she could hear my thoughts! Oh god, how far can she hear?"

"Well not much, just the outer consciousness." Mom said. "The telekinesis inhibitor will prevent her from obtaining any more Aztsapian abilities. We don't want the school flying into orbit during her time of the month now can we?"

Martin blushed while Mom moved over and put a hand on his cheek with a smile.

"Keep that in mind if you and her ever get really close. Things can get really wild."

"Right." He blushed while Mom patted his cheek. "I'll keep that in mind."

"Good boy, now the other girls will be gone for a while, so take this time to try and get close to her. One thing I've learned is that with enough time a person's attitude will change, no matter how stubborn they are."

"But Mom, I just don't get it. Why make her agree to this? I mean, couldn't you have found someone else? Or just end it there?"

"Wow Agent Martin, I'm surprised. I would have figured you'd be the last person to want a limit on how many women she'd be with for the rest of his life. I hope you're not turning gay on me." she teased.

"I'm not gay."

"Then you won't mind me keeping the harem going for a bit longer." She looked at her other hand. "Maybe stop at the one billion mark, mind you I might feel a bit lonely after you marked every single woman in that hypothetical harem, or tried, depends on your stamina."

"That's way too many! Even for me!"

Mom chuckled. "Don't be too sure, you might sing another tune once I'm done fixing your lovelife." She kissed his lips. "After all, that's what a mother does to her lover, fix the mess they made and," she made a slice sign near her neck. "cut unwanted agents that try to piss me off, like that Marvin character. Too nosey yet always trying to take artifacts that he shouldn't be using. You do recall how I 'fired' him right?"

'How could I forget? We were practically reliving The Thing.' he sweatdropped.

"Now, you just focus on your new teacher and I'll let you know when the girls come back. FYI, try not to make any kids yet, save that for the orgy." she teased before heading back to the Center using the portal. "Oh, and I saved condoms for you in your dresser. That and gave you a gift."

"What kind of gift?"

She pulled down her shirt as Martin noticed that she was braless. "Just a gift, use it wisely~"

He blushed and stared slackjaw at the breasts before Mom left and he gulped. "Damn...I'm the luckiest guy in the world!" He then walked over to the dresser and found a black G cup bra and went wide eyed. 'I'm so…LUCKY!'

(With Melanie)

'Ugh.' She thought while cleaning up the mess in her office. 'Stupid blonds! Stupid diamonds! Stupid everything!'

Knock knock.

'What now?'

'I want to see the gems!' yelled a loud thought. 'I want giant boobies!'

'Must be a random student with a fetish for giant diamond ladies…which is so wrong!' she shook her head. 'The things kids get off on nowadays is like a bad acid dream half the time.'

'BOOBIES!'

Melanie sighed. 'Better ignore them.'

Knock knock.

'I wonder if the professor is here? Hopefully she's not angry about the kiss...or me being a spaz.'

'UGH! Not HIM!' She thought in rage. 'Not MARTIN MYSTERY!'

'Um...well maybe she can't read this thought? I really like pink kittens. Hopefully she didn't hear that.'

'I did.' she thought with a huff. "Who is it?"

"Martin, could you let me in?" 'Maybe being her only student in a private classroom won't be so bad...right?'

'That's what he thinks.' "Hang on, I'll be there shortly."

Martin waited outside while running the back of his head. 'Well, at least she's not mad. I really hope she doesn't read my mind at the moment. I'm trying to get that bra out of my hea-'

"Bra?!"

"Oh! Um, did I say bra? No I meant bra like homey." 'Get out of my head G cup bra!'

"A G CUP?!"

'Oh no.' He thought before getting decked in the face by Melanie's fist. "GAH!"

(A few minutes of explaining later)

"And that's where it came from." he spoke while nursing his black eye. "Ow."

"I see." Melanie frowned while sitting on a chair. "And it wasn't my bra?"

"No."

"...you're lucky I'm not normally punch happy or I might punch you where the sun doesn't shine, fifty times."

Martin paled.

"Now, you were saying I'm a private teacher to you for the rest of your school year. Is that right?"

"Yeah, it's what Mom told me."

"Well then I refuse."

"Why?"

"I hate you right now." she deadpanned with him flinching. "I hate being forced to move, forced to work here, and forced into a contract like I'm in the Middle East."

"Um...well I'm not trying to force you to do it." 'Or anything sexual and that actually hurt more than Di hitting me with a frying pan for wearing a cheerleader outfit. I was just expressing myself a little.'

"You did what?"

"What?"

"Dress like a-"

"Oh that...not my proudest moment but hey, I looked good." He winked and waved his hand in the air. "As a Swedish exchange student y'all."

"...I don't even want to know, so don't think about it."

He sweatdropped. "So, about the harem thing. You don't have to worry about me forcing anything on you, I'm not that kinda guy. I treat people with respect." 'That and try and make them comfortable. Especially when she's sitting on a very hard chair. Must be painful...should I give her a pillow or something? Mmm.'

"I'm fine, thank you." Melanie sighed. "And if you're really going to respect me, don't treat me like a harem girl or eye candy."

"Promise."

She sighed. "Then you can be my student, but be warned. I'm tough with my lessons and exams."

"Isn't school always that?" he tried to joke.

She deadpanned. "My essays are fifteen pages long."

"What?! That's crazy!"

"No, that's the minimum. My maximum number of pages are fifty."

He turned white as a ghost. 'SHIT!'

"And no cursing in class."

"But that was in my head, I didn't outright say it!"

"It's the same thing as me, so go back to your room. Class will start at ten pm tonight." Melanie said while walking to her broom. "And don't forget it." 'Back to cleaning…ugh.'

"Yes ma'am." He said while walking away. 'That turned out nicely.'

(Later on)

Melanie sighed while finishing her cleaning, and waiting for her...new student to come. The only problem was that she didn't have a lesson plan made for him. She hadn't thought this far ahead due to her anger. 'Finally, no more debris. Hopefully nothing else happens.'

'I'm going to enjoy watching this woman from the tree.' said a 'voice' from outside the window. 'Perhaps this old lady can undress and play with herself? Maybe play with her ass?'

'Oh god, is there some pervert trying to peep on some poor woman nearby? I pity her.'

'Stupid redhead. Turn to the window and look at my direction. Ugh, why can't it be a preteen? Those are sexier than this hag.'

'...ew. Pedophile and...wait redhead? Does that mean…' she turned to the window and saw a pair of goggles staring at her from a tree.

'Yes, keep looking while I envision you as a twelve year o-'

And cue the tree going flying into the distance as Melanie caused the guy to hang from midair.

'AAAAAAAHHHH!'

"PERVERT!" She yelled before sending the guy crashing into the ground by his head.

"Ow…" he groaned as Martin walked behind her with a bag of muffins.

"Hey, brought some muffins...what did I miss?" 'Hopefully it isn't another monologue session, it can happen with some people. Me included.'

"Let's just say that I had to punish a no-good pervert, the hard way." She turned to him. "What kind of muffins?"

"Chocolate."

"You read it from a file?"

"No, I just guessed."

"...huh. You guessed right, I like chocolate muffins."

"Does that mean you'll go easy?" he smiled nervously with her crossing her arms.

"No." She deadpanned.

'Aw.'

"Now let us get seated and I can start the lesson…" she trailed off. 'Oh no. I forgot the lesson plan!'

"Alright, you're the teacher right now."

"Well yes I am and…"

"And?"

"And we are going to learn about...the art of fencing." 'Gah! That was just stupid!' She thought. "No I mean...the history of...harems?" 'GAH!'

"Uh…what?"

"Forget that. We are going to learn about the domestication of chickens. So turn to page one of your textbook and do a silent reading. And no inappropriate thoughts."

"Got it." He said while looking at the large stacks of books. 'Which one is it however?'

"The green one."

"Oh thanks." 'That was nice, and cute.'

She lightly blushed at that. "Silent reading."

He nodded before opening his book.

'Why am I turning red? It was a compliment and nothing more.' Melanie thought. 'Just ignore it and try to get your mind on other stuff, like what to do when I get back to my own room.'

'I wonder.' A thought 'said' while entering the woman's head. 'Did she ever have problems with chickens? Or at least something not related to goo? Mmm, oh! I never knew chickens had that. Interesting.'

'Ignore it, ignore it.'

'I wonder what the other girls are doing? Still on missions...ugh. For two months. I need some companionship that's not Diana!'

'He must mean his sister.'

'Still...maybe Melanie could be my friend? Or at least friendamires.'

'...'

'Plus she was nice enough to kiss me...although she might have been scared by those aliens. I would too if I wasn't a kickass agent!'

"Language."

"Oh! S-Sorry!"

"Back to reading and pass the muffins." She said while opening her palm out.

"Sure thing." he handed her a muffin while focusing his mind on comics.

"Focus on the book." She frowned while eating the muffin. "And stop daydreaming about horror movie girls."

"It's hard! I'm trying to keep my mind occupied."

"Then focus on the book instead of anything else, or at least try to clear your mind." 'And stop thinking about your...acts with that madwoman. I really...AH! Why did you use THAT on her ASS?! It's so...AHHH!'

'Ok Martin, think of something boring!'

And cue an image of Mom in the nude giving him a blowjob.

"No inappropriate thoughts!" Melanie snapped with a bright red face.

"Sorry!" 'Think of something else!'

And cue an image of a slime girl appearing in his mind while waving to him. 'Hi Martin. Daddy says hi and that Omni sucks~'

'What the fuck?'

"Focus on the Book and not on a girl." 'No matter how odd it sounded in his head.' She then frowned. "Also language!"

"Sorry."

(Later)

Martin grumbled while looking at his book as Melanie was sleeping next to him.

"Zzzzz." She snored while deep in sleep.

'She can't read my thoughts right now, right?'

"Zzzzz...stop thinking about...bunnies...zzzz." She snored while drooling a little.

'Nevermind.'

"Zzzz."

'Should I wake her up?' He thought while putting the book down.

"Zzzz...no don't touch that..."

"Melanie? Hey Melanie."

"Zzzz…cake dragon…" She snored while falling on the ground. "Zzz."

"Melanie, it's time to get up."

"Zzzz...stop thinking about pillow...zzz."

Martin sweatdropped while seeing the woman snoring like a baby. He moved to pick her up, but saw her hand was more green than before.

"Zzzz." She snored while her eyes started to gain green scales around the eyelashes. "Zzzz."

"Ok, that wasn't there before." He muttered before seeing her floating in the air.

She turned around while drooling upside down. "Zzzz."

'Should I help her or not?' he thought. 'I mean I can't leave her like this or someone might see and freak out.'

"Zzzzz." Melanie snored before floating out the nearby window. "Pelicans…"

'Ah!' he ran over and grabbed her legs to keep her inside. "Melanie wake up!"

"Zzzz...pies…"

'Wake up before I tap that ass!'

She blinked. "Tap my ass...fine...let me go back to...zzzz."

"No! Wake up now!"

"Zzzzz."

'WAKE UP!'

Melanie yawned while falling to the ground. "Zzzz...huh? Morning already?"

"No, it's still night time."

"..." she looked up. "Um, why am...wait? I did WHAT?!" 'How did this happen?!'

"Well, you floated."

"I know that! But why did that happen?!"

"You did it in your sleep."

"..." Melanie blinked before fainting from mental fatigue and information overload.

"Professor? Professor?"

Silence.

"...crap!"

(Two weeks later)

Martin sighed as he walked to his room, still floored that his teacher and harem member was well...changing slowly everyday, not mentally but physically, yet also keeping her traits as a human. However, he learned the hard way that the ring on her finger was somehow defective and not inhibiting anything. Suffice to say when her hands started making green slime she started wearing gloves to keep from making a mess.

It also didn't help that she was gaining small scales on her neck and legs so she had to wear longer yet bulker clothing to keep others from finding out. Either way, something was going wrong and if it didn't stop, it might lead to another incident.

"I gotta talk to Mom about this." Martin muttered before walking inside. "If she keeps changing, she might act like those aliens and...oh boy. That wouldn't be good."

And cue Mom appeared behind him while wearing a white hockey mask and holding a chainsaw.

SZZZZZZZZ!

"AHHHHH!" He screamed while falling on the ground.

"That was funny." Mom chuckled while taking the mask off. "And worth the wait."

"Mom!? You almost gave me a heart attack!"

"But I didn't. Anyway I got your message and I'm here to explain the situation to you."

SZZZZZ!

"And maybe cut you up for storage." She joked.

"Mom!"

"Relax, this is a prop." She threw the object out the window. "As for Agent Samson's current status, apparently her DNA is mutating further than expected. To the point she might become a real hybrid of human and Aztsapian. However it can be reversed, to a point."

"Well that's good."

"The problem is that we need to take her ring off." She said while pulling out a silver ring with a heart on it. "And replace it with the real telekinesis inhibitor."

"Wait then what-"

"That is an enhancer. Apparently Billy mixed up the rings after his encounter with Agent Samson." She sighed. "To think several ancient tomes would cause almost permanent brain damage."

"So this is the reason she's been getting scales?"

"Yes, among other things."

Martin sweatdropped.

"You better get the ring off her before she obtains acidic touch."

"Wait, that's a thing? I don't remember the aliens having that."

"Those were juveniles, adults obtain acidic touch after their five thousand year mark."

"So just tell her she has to switch the first ring with this one, right?"

"More like you have to do it manually. If she finds out from your mind, well...you might be buried in a jar instead of a coffin."

"Why? I'm just trying to help her."

"And she will be in a state of constant fear and anxiety. Not the best combination for a flirt like you."

"Hey!"

"Just put the ring on her." Mom said before entering a portal.

He groaned at that while looking at the door. "Sometimes she makes things too hard on me."

(Later)

He walked down the hallway while noticing a slime trail going all over the school. "Oh no, that can't be good."

And cue screaming from the nearby girls bathroom.

"Or that." he sprinted after the trail.

(In the bathroom)

And ran into the room, while Melanie screamed in her stall.

"AHHH! Get out! Get out! Get away you perverts!"

"Professor! It's me Martin!"

"AHHHH! Not you!" She yelled. "Get away! I know you're thinking of fucking me! I KNOW IT!"

'I think she's reading to many students though-'

"I KNOW!"

"Look, I came to help."

"Just go...wait? You have the right ring...wait WHAT?!

And cue the sinks flying out of the walls and hitting the ceiling with enough force to break the tiles.

"Woah!" he jumped. "Just put it on and you'll be ok!"

"But I'm ugly right now! And stop thinking about those aliens in a bikini! I'm not THEM! I'm a human being!"

"I'm telling the truth! If you come out and swap the rings, you'll be fine!"

"Just stop thinking about sexy aliens then! It's gross!"

'Huh...ok that's my bad, even though I have a siren, a witch, a possessed girl with a druid in her, an insect girl, a sandwoman and a werewolf gal. Still hot as heck those girls.'

"ENOUGH WITH THE HAREM!" she yelled before the stall door flew off and nearly hit him. "JUST SHUT UP!"

Martin jumped while sweating like crazy. "Um…" 'Sorry.'

"You should be!"

"So...need me to put the ring on or should I just go?"

She growled.

'I guess she really doesn't like me.' he gulped. "Look, right now you don't look so bad."

"Then look!"

He did and saw she was still human like, but with slime oozing out of the gloves and had scales all around her cheeks. "Well, you do look cute." 'Like a lizard girl, a very cute one to boot.'

"I'm not cute!" she snapped while Martin felt himself start floating. "I'm hideous and it's just gonna get worse!"

"Woah! Hey I'm being very honest. Your very cute right now."

'SO CUTE! I WANT TO HUG HER!'

"S-Stop that!" she blushed. "You're not being honest...you're just thinking that…"

"But I'm being completely honest, your very cute right now. Even before you changed."

'I hope I can hug her!'

She turned red while covering her face with both hands.

"Oh! Sorry!" he blushed and slapped himself in the head. 'Focus Martin! Just switch the rings, don't let your mind wander!'

Melanie kept on blushing while Martin kept on floating for a bit before her mental hold over him was targeted to just another stall door, which broke in half. 'Why must I be cursed with these powers?! Why?!'

"Melanie please, let me put this on and your powers can be under control." Martin said while moving closer to her.

"J-Just go before...I throw you into orbit…" She stuttered while looking ready to cry. "I just wanna be alone…"

He moved even closer to her before hugging her. "Well I don't like to see people cry you know, especially from you." he rubbed her back as she went still. "I get you're scared, but I trust Mom, and if she says this ring can help you keep your powers under control, than I believe her."

"..." she sniffled before hugging back. "Sniff."

"It's gonna be alright."

She sniffled again while crying on his shirt as Martin carefully took off her left glove and replaced the ring with the new one. "Sniff."

'There, that should do it.' He thought before noticing the goo was cracking and falling to the ground as her hands returned to normal...although the scales still remained on her body. "How do you feel?"

"Sniff...don't move."

"Eh?"

"Don't move...yet."

"I won't." He said while continuing to hug her, unaware that he was making a VERY good impression on her.

'Warm.'

(Some time later)

"Feeling better?"

Melanie nodded. "Yes. Thank you."

"No problem, but do you feel any different?"

"Not really."

"Can you read my mind?"

She looked at him before saying. "Yes. And you did make an impression. You went from pervert to semi gentlemen."

"Was that subconscious or conscious?"

"I really don't know, I studied archeology not psychology."

"Well I think the goo problem is taken care of, and those scales won't be a problem. You can use some of Diana's makeup to cover them up."

"Thanks." She said. "But this doesn't mean I'm going to be a harem girl, I'm still wary about it...even if you proved me wrong."

"About what?"

"Being a pervert that sees me as eye candy. I really hate people that think that way."

"Well Martin Mystery is-"

"Don't finish that."

"Aw, but-"

"It's not going to be cool."

"...ok." He huffed. 'Still thought it would be cool.'

"It would not, it would make you sound like a creep." Melanie deadpanned.

"You know you could try and block out people's thoughts."

"True...but it takes a lot of focus to block one person."

'Now she tells me.'

"Anyway, let's get out of here before someone sees the slime." She sweatdropped while pointing to the slime trail.

"Good call, or sees me in the girl's bathroom." 'I wonder if there's a hidden chamber where the girls have mudbaths?'

"Martin, there are no hidden chambers in here."

"Damn it!"

"Now let's get going."

He grumbled at that while looking at her ass. 'Mmm...I wonder…'

'Bunny girl outfit. Mmm, nice.'

And cue a slap to his face.

"PERVERT!"

"OW!"

(Timeskip)

Martin sighed as he finished his first test in Melanie's class, which was about the proper way to address a lady, and hoped he did good on it. He was drumming his fingers on the table and just waited.

Melanie looked at the paper while glancing at Martin. "Please refrain from tapping on the table. It's distracting."

"Sorry." he stopped his fingers. 'I hope I didn't flunk out on this one too.'

"You didn't." She said while handing him his test back, which was a seventy. "You passed, barely mind you."

"Sweet!"

"Remember, this is only one test. You have several more to complete before you can get a passing grade." She said while putting her red pen away.

"It's a start." He shrugged.

"And no, I'm not wearing a bunny girl suit for your reward. We aren't THAT close."

"Damn it!" he cursed before blushing. 'Ok, I need to talk to Mom about getting something to hide my thoughts.'

"Don't even try that."

'Fuck!'

"No cursing during class."

"Sorry." 'Ugh.'

'I wonder if calling her cute would give me extra points?'

She lightly blushed. "No."

'Dang.'

Melanie looked out the window while moving a broom that Java was using over his head. 'This is the only fun I'm allowed these days...and it never gets old.'

'Hmm, what to do when I get back to my room? Oh! I know! Maybe call up Billy and see if he's interested in a monster movie marathon.'

"You have to study for a math exam for your next class." Melanie deadpanned. "So no movies for you tonight."

'Ugh-'

"But a study session with me is acceptable, along with a documentary marathon. You have an Aztec civilization test coming up."

"Aw man." Martin groaned.

"It's not that bad, you have a lady sitting next to you."

He blinked.

"Besides, if I let you skip out and get lazy, it'll badly affect your grade."

'True.'

"So you will be staying after class for the documentaries? Right?"

"Ok teach."

"Call me Melanie."

'Alright Miss Melanie.' he teased in his head.

"Teasing won't work on me this time."

'Cute bunny girl teacher.'

And cue her turning bright red.

"How about that?"

She looked at him before calmly using her telekinesis to throw a large book at his face. "F-Fool!"

"YEOW!" He yelled while the camera zoomed towards his list, placed within his pockets, and showed the words, Katie/Carlin/Cailleach, in bold letters.