Chapter: Han Solo I

Year 26 ABY
A lot of people think space is cold. A gaping hole covered in stars to keep it from smothering every living organism. Not Han Solo, for the aged Corellian smuggler space means flying and flying means freedom. Always has, always will. There'd been a time that was all he needed in life. His trusty ship, his pal Chewie, a blaster and occasionally a beautiful woman. He'd joined The Empire to eat, not because he cared about some "backwater terrorists" causing trouble in the Outer Rim. He'd left it when saving his wookie companion* because he was a rebel at heart, though he'd spent his whole life denying if he hadn't booked a flight for an strange old man with sagely eyes traveling alongside a stargazing kid. Lately he's been piling up a ton of regrets but that'll never be one of them.

He wonders what that old man would think if he saw him now. Old Kenobi was far too self-contained to gloat, "I told you" might cross his mind but that's the end of it. Still, the old ways had nothing against all-knowing smirks, so he's definitely on the receiving end of one if that old coot's watching over him. He had told a Clone Wars legend he didn't believe in the Force. Now he needs it to be real, otherwise he's just a shell shocked father with no hope of ever finding his boy. He killed countless times during the Galactic Civil War, some for self-preservation but most for The Rebel Alliance yet none of his battle victims come back to haunt him at night. No, the only face that ever did that was his son's. Oh, Benny where are you? Are you safe? Are you paying the cost for our sins?Last time he saw him, Ben was growing like a weed. He wanted to set his stone on the family legacy, with all the ferocity of youth. He and Leia had tried to give him the childhood neither of them got to enjoy. Growing up in the streets robbed him of his innocence just as much as the Empire's shadow did to her. Luke was the only one of the original trio who had a normal life before joining the cause.

Maybe that's part of why he's so different: Han would burn half the galaxy for his loved ones, no questions asked unless there were inoccents involved. That's where he draws the line. Leia would burn her enemies alive for the Republic, for the ghost of Alderaan, the cherished memory of Bail Organa. The whole point of fighting a war is restoring the peace so everyone can go home. The princess of Alderaan can never go home, her war will never end. Luke would set himself on fire if it meant no one else had to die. Kid always wore his heart on his sleeve. He brought out the best in people. Tried to save everybody, even the folks who weren't worth it. By some miracle or sheer dumb luck, the kid's constant bets on unlikely redemption paid off when they needed it most.

He's paying tribute to one of those crazy gambles right now. Fortunately, nobody recognizes him as he heads to the Jedi Memorial on Yavin 4. He's glad for that, he doesn't want to play-act the myth again. Wordlessly he places a bouquet of Naboo roses next to the figure of a redhead, the artist failed to capture her, he thinks. They painted the warrior and forsook the woman. Her copper hair is loose, dancing as she readies the lightsaber that was Luke's and his father's before him*. She loved braiding it, even if she hated the color at first. Felt it made her an outcast, sorrounded by chestnut, black & blond locks but never admitted it. Her way of dealing with things back then consisted of shielding all pain from the world. Healthy emotions were foreign to never worked on Luke, he saw her in all that mismatched glory. Kid showed her a holocrom of Obiwan Kenobi in his glory days and she felt proud to share a feature with a hero 've portrayed Luke's padawan, his shield sister, the first of the New Jedi, no reference was made to his wife.

It's more simple than the newer momument for the massacre. The Jedi are dramatic in their actions but austere in all forms of decorating. Their way is one of toil and sacrifice, wealth has no place amongst spiritual growth. Gold is and will always be unwelcome in the hall of purity. Luke had said that, standing calm and undaunted, ready for the next adventure. Kid could stand in a room full of treasures and never be tempted. He was never selfish, Mara was the only thing he ever let himself have.

After Endor, they had looked for information regarding his mother. Luke expected a quiet country girl who loved till her heart burst. Leia expected a respectable noble woman who found out too late she'd married the Devil. What they found was Queen Amidala, another pedestal to measure themselves to. (Cause Anakin Skywalker, The Organa family and Darth freaking Vader wasn't bad enough. How and when did he become the closest thing to normal in this bunch?) Their cousin Pooja hesitated to touch them. Wedge, Chewie and Lando were more family than this tearstricken woman who hugs Leia like she's a phantom. She complimented Leia telling her how much she looked like her mother. The twins flooded her with questions. Sola, their aunt had answered most of them. Where Pooja had focused on Leia, Sola's interest never left Luke. She led them to their mother's portrait and Han understood why. Pooja was still a child when she lost her aunt. Their relationship was one of love, devotion and loads of admiration on the girl's side but the complexity of Luke and Leia's mother was never fully revealed to her. Sola changed her little sister's diapers, afterwards she carried the queen's cape at Amidala's coronation, sat on the front row of her Senatorial debut & was chief mourner at her funeral. No one save Amidala's handmaidens (the originals, remaining since the Trade Federation invaded) knew her so intimately. Sola had judged Padme's children by the heart. Physically Leia mirrors the deceased Naboo leader but Luke's the one who embodies the loving gaze of his mother.

Damn, he misses his best friend

Notes:

*In the Expanded Universe we learn that Han Solo's friendship with Chewbacca started with the Corellian pilot saving the wookie's life. Han was a young lieutenant in the academy with a bright future ahead of him. His superiors all thought he was Death Squadron material. While silencing a rebel sector in Kashykk, Chewbacca was captured after leading wookie children to safety. The commanding officer told his men to "skin the beast alive". Han defied orders, knocked the officer unconscious and both fled the Empire together. Chewie swore a life debt to Solo and the rest is history.
* Luke actually gifted Mara Jade his father's lightsaber in the EU.