Disclaimer: You know, the other day I was wondering, what if I actually owned the Legend of Zelda series? Would I go around saying "Hey, mate, how are you doing? Oh by the way, I own the Legend of Zelda series and all copyright material"?

Day 1, Morning, Clock Town – South

The day started fresh again for Link and Tatl, who had finally resolved all the pesky sidetasks that were keeping them from what was really their main goal for now – reaching the swamp.

"So, as far as I can see in the map," Link stated, looking at a map they got from the Trading Post in West Clock Town, "if we go south from here we have this 'Milk Road' here… and another path that leads to a 'Southern Swamp'."

"Yep", Tatl agreed, "That's probably where we have to go."

"That's as far as the map goes, but it says 'Woodfall Region', so it's probably got some uncharted territory."

"And there's the temple, too – I heard it's called 'Woodfall Temple'."

Shocker! "So, let's roll. And let's both smart up, because I don't feel like being jinxed again."

"Yeah, I sure hope you don't…"

As they kept on talking, Link put his sword on full view, so that the annoying guard wouldn't get in his way when they came through the south gate.

Day 1, Morning, Termina Field

Termina Field was even more of a view while the sun shone upon its grounds. The leaves from the trees, and the grass around the South section looked even greener in accordance to the full blue sky above them.

As Link walked towards the path to the swamp, he noticed that there were no Blue Bubbles in sight – maybe they only came out at night? As he was wondering, however, he didn't pay attention to his surroundings, and because of that…

"OW!" What the—

Snapping his sight up front, he saw a red blob – which had tackled him, he guessed – with a very weird smile hopping towards him.

"That's a Red Chuchu," Tatl reported, "It's no more than a living slosh of water, so you should just hack away. It'll probably drop some curatives for you."

"And you wait until I bump into the damn thing to tell me?!" Link exclaimed, angry, then cut the blob in half and picked up some health.

"There are green ones too, if you look around," she continued, "And those recover some of your magic energy".

"Huh, you'd think we're at some sort of videogame quest." … what is this ominous feeling?

After dangerously interfering with the universe itself, Link made for the path. The field "ended" on a horizontal wall of trees that stretched through the entire edge of the section, as if it were some sort of indicator that you were about to leave the main field and enter Woodfall. Very near the entrance to Woodfall, a big tree stood aside from the wall, and at the foot of said tree…

"Ah!" Tatl exclaimed.

"Will you stop screaming suddenly already?!" Link yelped, startled, "Every fucking time you find something you give me a heart attack!"

"This is…" she trailed off, and Link noticed a drawing on the tree, made from scratching the wood. It looked very much like someone he'd already met.

"The Skull Kid…" he murmured, "…and… two fairies?"

"Yes… me and Tael."

"Tatl? You made this?"

"Well, not me, but I was there when the Skull Kid made it…"

"Huh, so you have been here before."

"Yes. We found him one day… It was raining, and he was all alone under that log…" Tatl said, gazing upon a huge fallen treelog at the field that doubled as a tunnel of sorts, "He was all alone and me and Tael were freezing, so we joined him and… we ended up becoming friends."

"Oh wow. But why did he beat Tael up on the Clock Tower like that then? Weren't you friends?"

"That was before that bleak day…"

"Bleak?"

"… The Skull Kid was always a big prankster," Tatl started. "That's why he ended up alone like that. No one found the patience to stick with a guy that liked so much to play tricks."

Well I'd be a little pissed off too, but… "… But that's not all, is it?"

"Yes. One day, we found that mask salesman creep out here and he stole that mask from him… what did the creep call it? The Majora's M–"

"Wait, so you have been here before and you've met that freak before as well?!" Link interrupted, eyes wide, "How many things do you plan on keeping secret from me, Tatl?!"

"I-I'm sorry, Link!" she replied.

That was a very quick apology. I'm not convinced.

"A-Anyway…" Tatl carried on, "He stole that mask, then he put it on… and then… he changed. And then we met you…"

"Alright, alright. So he was acting crazy because of the mask's influence. I guess it makes sense…"

"But was he really…?" Tatl muttered, while Link stepped ahead towards Woodfall.

Day 1, Afternoon, Swamp Path

The path looked simple enough. The "wall of trees" was more of a "line", because as soon as they crossed it, it's like they were still in Termina Field. Looking forward, Link could see that the path split in two, one going to the left and the other shooting straight ahead. At the very center of the split, a single tree towered upon our heroes, who stopped under its shadow to consider the next step.

"Well, we have two choices here." Tatl stated matter-of-factly, examining her surroundings.

"I—hold on a sec," Link said, slashing away at a bat that swooped upon him. As he finished, he found Tatl to be rather astounded. "… What? I'm just tired of having creatures bump into me."

"Y-You're really as good as they say, huh…"

Hero of Time, baby. "Well, now that this Keesse is out of the way…"

"Link, it wasn't a Keesse. It was a Bad Bat."

"… What's the difference? You need to stop judging things based on narrow-minded assumptions, Tatl!"

"… Why am I getting this ominous feeling of repetition?"

"Anyway, which direction we'll take? I vote for straight ahead."

"And what led you to such a bold conclusion, genius?"

"Ha! You don't know how sound my logic can be."

"Oh? By all means, explain away."

"Hold on," Link cut another bat down, "Right. So, I figure: left is left, right?" He said, pausing and waiting for a very confused Tatl to say something.

"Go on…" she said.

"So, if left is left, whatever remains must be right! And right is right… right?"

"…"

Ha! You could round up a thousand philosophers and it wouldn't match my l–

Link looked up to realize Tatl had already floated on her own to the left path.

"H-Hey! What gives?" He shouted, running after her.

"I can't listen to you. You're obviously mad."

"What? What do you mean? Are you defying my carefully planned reasoning?!" ... can't even make a dumb joke...

"Yes. Yes, I am."

Before the exchange could escalate to higher levels of dissonance, Link and Tatl stopped on their tracks to see that the path came to a dead end with a house. At the door, a sign: "Archery Range – Gone for lunch, be back soon".

"Huh, archery. Sure brings back some memories…"

"You know how to use a bow and arrow, too?!"

"Damn right I know," Link replied, puffing his chest, "I just wish I had my bow with me now…"

"Well, we could always make you one, there's plenty of wood around."

"What?! And hurt the poor trees?! How very selfish of you!"

"… Let's go the other way, Hero of Time…" Tatl said, defeated.

They got to the tree and, this time, kept going straight, opposite from the entrance. There wasn't much to look at, as the rest of the way was very much like Termina Field itself. They passed through a couple of bushes, then a little hill… and then…

Day 1, Afternoon, Southern Swamp

… The swamp.

At long last, our heroes reached their destination. The swamp area was pretty big by itself, though as far as Link could see, it was pretty closed-off as well. A few feet away from them was the actual swamp, with a large boathouse in the middle, a path to the left and a cave straight ahead, much like the path they just went through.

But something else caught Tatl's eye.

"Link, look at the swamp…"

"... It's… purple?" Link said, confused. The water was, indeed, colored purple, and as he drew closer, he noticed that it emitted a very foul stench as well.

T-This smell… "Tatl! It's poison!"

"P-Poison?!"

"Yeah, the swamp is poisoned!" Is that the "curse" that the Great Fairy was talking about?

It was. Woodfall had fallen prey to a curse, a curse unleashed onto it by the "monster" who took control of the region. Legend says that whatever lies within the temple has its aura reflected on the waters of the swamp, and if that were true, Link was about to face a very angry and ferocious soul.

"I guess we have to get to the temple," Link pondered, "The 'one who is there' Tael mentioned is probably the monster who raided it."

"I see some lilypads lined up to the left path…" Tatl said, looking towards said direction.

"Let's do this, then."

"L-Link?"

A scream, and Deku Link was standing right in front of the yellow fairy. "Link, what are you doing?"

"What do you think? I'm going to hop from lilypad to lilypad."

"The water's poisonous!"

"Hey, I'm a Deku! I'm… you know… from the forest! And poison's not very effective against grass in Pokémon!" Link shouted, jumping towards the swamp.

"It's the other way around, stupid! Grass types aren't good ag—LINK!" Tatl screamed, but to no avail. Link was already touching the water…

… And hopping with no signs of pain.

A speechless Tatl stood still for a couple of seconds, then dashed to catch up with the Deku.

Halfway through the small string of lilypads, Link saw a corridor with two steaming pots at each side of the entrance, the, well, steam coming out quite clearly, as if to indicate someone that something related to those pots was just beyond the corridor.

"Hey Tatl," he called out, "You see this?"

"What's that? A corridor… with pots?" Tatl pondered.

Aren't we deserving of the Master of the Obvious title today…

"Should we check it out?" Tatl asked.

"Well, why not, right? No stone unturned."

And so they did. However, as soon as they stepped in between the rocky walls of the pathway…

"Whoa!" Link yelled, stopping on his tracks. Out from an innocent-looking bush, came a small toothless carnivore plant, drooling venom from its mouth, reaching for Link but stopping after reaching its extension limit.

"It's a Deku Baba!" Tatl said, alarmed. But Link didn't even remove the Deku Mask; a spin attack and the monster was paralyzed, standing upward… and another spin attack split the thing in half, leaving behind a Deku Stick that used to be part of its body.

"Don't talk about Deku Babas like they're dangerous," Link smugly said, "Those fuckers were, like, the easiest things to beat ever back in Kokiri Forest. We used to cut 'em up all the time to gather wood."

"Oh, I… didn't know."

"Well, whatever. Let's go."

Link removed his mask and started walking towards the end of the path, cutting down a couple of Deku Babas up along the way, same way he did earlier. When they reached their destination, they found it to be another dead end. A shallow pool of water (and it really looked like water this time) lay at the center, with a tall support tower and a weird, red, cauldron-shaped house at the very top, smoke emanating from the chimney. Behind the house, a small waterfall and a couple of feet away, an entrance to some woods… an entrance very similar to the ones at Lost Woods.

"What's with the house?" Tatl asked.

"Don't ask me," Link replied, "All I know is that this kind of stuff can't be good to the ozone layer…"

"Since when do you worry about stuff like that?"

"Touché," Link conceded, and then stopped to look at the the entrance to the woods. … What's going on? This is all too familiar to the treelogs back in Lost Woods…

"Hey," Tatl asked, and Link winced with the word she used and the way she said it, but shook it off and looked at her, "This sign here says 'To Woods of Mystery'."

"Probably the one over there. Shall we?"

"Lead the way, grass-boy."

"Oh, and Tatl?"

"Yes?"

"Poison is really super-effective against grass," Link said, squeezing his boots.

"I knew it!"

Day 1, Afternoon, Woods of Mystery

The rustling of grass as Link stepped into the woods sounded very familiar; after all, being a boy from the forest, he was practically home. And, well, the place did look a lot like his Lost Woods. He was surrounded by trees in a perfect circle with four "fallen log tunnels" at each cardinal direction – one being, of course, the one he came from.

"This sure looks like the Lost Woods from back home, huh…" Tatl stated the obvious while scanning her surroundings.

"Which probably means it's gonna be that all over again."

"Huh?"

"You know," Link explained, "Three exits are wrong and will take you to the entrance, and one is right."

"Oh. So we're gonna do the old trial and error routine?"

"Prob—"

Link barely took two steps forward when he was surprised by a white monkey. The monkey was very small and looked friendly, quietly "ook"-ing as he hopped from side to side.

Link took his sword out.

Just try to "ook" your way out of this blade, you little Mankey wannabe!

Link dashed…

"W-Wait!" The monkey shouted, and Link came to a halt with the sword in midair, a few inches away from the monkey's forehead.

"W-What? You can talk?"

"A-As a matter of fact, I am capable of conversing with human beings, good sir!" He hurriedly stated, "Please, do not bring pain upon my natural features…"

"Um, fine," Link said, putting the sword away.

"Who are you?" Tatl asked.

"My lady! I am but a mere primitive specimen which drifted away from yours in the vast sea that is evolution."

"… By which you mean you're a monkey."

"That would be the correct way to put it, yes," The monkey said, "I descend upon thee with a most noble task in mind!"

"Which is…?" Link asked, confused.

"… Kindly chase after my being!" The monkey said after a pause, then dashed for the log east from them.

"W-Wait!" Tatl and Link yelled in unison, following him into another area much like the one they just left, which meant that, yes, the entirety of Woods of Mystery was a maze.

The monkey was very fast and kept faking them out for some reason, which almost landed our heroes back in the beginning a couple of times. On a couple of occasions, Link found himself having to dodge enemies: the area was inhabited by Snappers, heavy turtles who, when in retreat under their shells, could spin out at foes with spikes protracting from the shell. Needless to say, Link had a bit of a rough time dodging them and keeping up with the monkey at the same time.

Will you stop Usain Bolting me for a minute?! My legs are about to give up!

Taking a sharp left, the monkey stopped at the next section, along with Link and Tatl. Three other monkeys took notice of them, and all monkeys scattered around and left the woods, leaving behind what looked like a person… collapsed.

What the hell is this all about? I'm getting involved in some serious monkey business here…

"I know that face, you just thought of a corny joke didn't you?!" Tatl asked.

"What? Of course not, I… AHHHHH!" Link stopped mid-sentence and yelled after looking forward and realizing who exactly was fallen in front of him.

"O-Ow! Help me!" The person said.

I-It's… !