"You're giving me this look like I'm crazy." Aqua's kneeling next to a spilled box of accessories, trying to make all the mismatched objects fit again, so that they can be carted around and placed. She reminds Roxas vaguely of a young mom stealing her kid's stuff for a garage sale.
"Uh…yup." Roxas has moved to stand beside her, with the intention of helping her out and getting some answers, god damn it, but now he's not sure how to do either. The box is mostly full and he's not entirely sure what he just heard Aqua and Vanitas discussing.
A band? A video game? Creatures from the deep?
"I take it nobody told you about the Heartless yet," she concludes with a light, knowing smile.
"Uh...nope?" Roxas agrees finally, picking up a Game of Thrones eye shadow palette that had slid over beside his foot and offering it to her. She smiles, and Roxas' chest lightens a bit, relieved her anger has abated after his argument with that dick Vanitas, and she seems to be willing to give him a second chance. Mainly because dark Aqua had been the stuff nightmares are made of.
"They didn't have you watch all the training videos?"
Roxas shrugs, opening a palm. "Saïx showed me, like, the video on shoplifting: 'Be nice and hope for the best.'" Okay, so it had been a little more complicated than that, but just a little. "But that was really all…"
"Mhmm," Aqua nods thoughtfully, standing. Settling the box on her hip, she steps behind the checkout counter and deposits it on the narrow space between the computer monitor and a display box. "Saïx only shows the official training videos."
She looks to Roxas, who follows her behind the register, unsure what he should be doing and apparently appearing concerned enough that she puts on her comforting voice, sets a hand on the counter between them like she wants to pat him in sympathy, but they just met so it'd be weird.
"Don't be upset with him, though. He's just trying not to get sacked. You know, Axel told me once the closest Hot Topic to us has been through at least five managers since Saïx has started. Which is probably why Saïx can be such a fun-suck."
Sympathy tugs at Roxas' heartstrings. He wonders if it's ever occurred to Demyx and Vanitas that part of the reason Saïx is so strict is because he's under pressure of his own. Mostly, Saïx has been professional and polite. Well, except when he's mocking them all mercilessly, in his blink-and-you-miss-it deadpan, but Roxas kind of admires that.
"I really don't think he's…I mean he's actually kind of hilarious if you pay attention to literally anything that comes out of his mouth..."
Aqua isn't listening any more. With the large box blocking her from the eyes of any customers that might wander in, (and this early, there aren't likely to be any), she has fished out her smartphone and begun swiping through screens. "Here. I think I still have a copy…"
The discussion halts as the video starts with a loud, electric guitar thrum, and the phone exchanges hands.
"HEY HOTTIES!"
The tiny screen erupts into sensory overload. An explosion of flames, the sound of an engine backfiring, and heavy rock music smash together; the words "HOT TOPIC TRAINING VIDEO #2" flashing white across the black, flaming screen.
Demyx appears with black, star shaped sunglasses perched on his forehead, wearing a white shirt with black cap sleeves and a realistic image of the head and neck of duckling peeking up from the bottom half.
"My name's Demyx, in the place to be!" he raps, a la Hamilton, arms spreading, and the camera zooms out. They're in Hot Topic, of course.
The cameraman starts to beatbox. He's not terrible. Keeps a steady rhythm, at least.
"Got my new best friend—Zexion—workin' with me!"
The lyrics, those are terrible.
Demyx wraps an arm around a shorter man, Zexion's, shoulders. He has silvery blue emo bangs, straight posture, and the expression of someone who would rather be literally anywhere else.
"Alright, wait," Zexion interrupts, shrugging free of the arm, twisting to face the golden retriever of a dude. "Firstly, we just met today."
"Yeah," Demyx's grin could blind, "but I can just tell."
"Secondly," Zexion's arms cross, unimpressed, "if this is going to be a rap video, I am not participating."
Demyx's processes this for a moment with a frown, and a just as sudden smile. "You can rap too!"
Zexion stares for a moment as if offering Demyx an opportunity to use his brain cells, and when that doesn't happen, starts to leave.
"Wait. Zexion!" Demyx scrambles after him, off camera, with the cameraman laughing hysterically in the background in a voice that's distinctively Axel's. "Wait!"
"Oh God," Roxas runs fingers down his face in second-hand embarrassment. "Is the whole thing like this?"
Aqua giggles, fingertips to her lips, shakes her head and smirks. "Don't worry. It gets worse."
Demyx has returned to the center of the screen, his shoulders and lips weighed down with dejection. "Looks like it's just me."
"You start rapping again, and I'm pulling the plug," teases the cameraman. Definitely Axel.
"Your camera doesn't even have a plug, Axel, so there." Demyx plants his fists on his hips and sticks out his tongue.
The video shuts off.
Roxas snorts loudly. Aqua shakes her head again wistfully and steps up to Roxas' side to see better.
"Hey ya, Hotties," greets a new voice, cocky, gruff and slow, like a Southerner turned surfer. It belongs to a brunette man around Luxord's age. He tugs at one of the lapels of his leather jacket. He's dressed like the head of a biker gang and wears a ponytail and eyepatch like he'd rather be a pirate. When he gestures to the camera, tattoos appear at his wrists.
"I think that's Xigbar," Aqua offers in response to the miffed expression on Roxas' face.
"We're here today to talk to you about:"
"CUSTOMER SERVICE!" Demyx enthuses from beside him, hands folding, grin bright and then flickering. "We were going to rap for you, but I was outvoted."
The easily disheartened blonde bows his head and Xigbar smiles down at him like he can think of better uses for Demyx's mouth than busting rhymes.
"There, there, sugar," he soothes, mildly taunting. A beefy arm wraps Demyx's shoulder, his hand patting lightly.
When Demyx cuddles into the older, taller man's grip, Roxas kind of wants to vomit. It feels a little like watching a bunny cuddle up to a king cobra.
Reenergized by the less than selfless show of support, Demyx remembers his spiel, continuing brightly, "Most of the people who walk into Hot Topic are—"
"Middle school girls?" Xigbar cuts in, brows bouncing.
Demyx freezes. There's a loud snort behind the camera.
Demyx nods, even his smile going still before he manages to concede with an eye roll, "Right, okay, true." Demyx elbows Xigbar in the ribs for his interruption, and Xigbar's confident grin brightens, though Demyx gets away with it unscathed.
"But most of our paying customers here at Hot Topic are total nerds," Demyx insists. The screen flashes to a man with a silvery blond ponytail and a light brown sweater vest over white and blue plaid leaning across the checkout counter.
"Vexen," Aqua identifies, when Roxas' gaze flicks up to her. "Fired."
"And BAMFs." The screen cuts to Xigbar giving a cheeky, two fingered salute.
"Quit," Aqua tacks on.
"And even nerdy BAMFs." Cut to Axel threading a blue and gold striped scarf around Saïx's neck, as Saïx rolls his eyes and turns his head to hide a wry smile.
"Messy," she—admits, maybe.
So, the guys are friends. Roxas, notes, bemused. Weird.
"All living in harmony!" Demyx concludes, appearing back on screen, hands clapping together.
Eye patch guy snorts, turning toward Demyx. "Why do you keep saying 'BAMFs' like it's a thing." He leans in closer than strictly necessary, another smirk teasing his lips. "It's not a thing."
Demyx turns as well, eyes widening, hands opening in front of him, emphatically. "This is a training video, Xigbar! I can't just say BAMF."
Xigbar backhands Demyx's shoulder. "Pussy."
Demyx startles back a step. "I don't think you can say that either."
"I just did."
Demyx sighs, like, after all this, he is just now realizing Xigbar is here to fuck with him. "Never mind, Ax'll edit it out. My point is," he regains his enthusiasm, the camera zooms in, "most of our customers are awesome, refined, sophisticated human beings."
Cut to footage of Luxord and Xigbar at a table in a sunroom, dressed in black clothes and silver chains, sipping tea from white china cups and reading newspapers, while classical music plays in the background.
Roxas abruptly chokes and Aqua offers a light giggle, though whether to Roxas' reaction or the tea party, he can't be sure. He takes back his judgment of Xigbar. He must have liked Demyx quite a bit to do that.
"They say things like…" prompts Demyx's voiceover as the camera pans to Zexion with his Hot Topic lanyard standing with a tall man with dramatic, manicured sideburns and a ponytail of thick dreads.
"Thank you for your help."
It's like the British Invasion in here.
"I met him," Roxas recalls.
Aqua tilts the phone and squints, "Xaldin. He's our number two."
Roxas breathes out a 'huh?'
"Assistant manager. Saïx's second in command. Person you go to when something goes wrong and you don't want to get fired over it."
"But I thought that was—" The video cuts Roxas off.
"And," Demyx narrates.
Cut to Zexion behind the register and Xaldin in front.
"I'm sorry, sir. Your Hot Cash is expired." Zexion does not seem the least bit sorry.
"Okay, no problem." Xaldin does not seem the least bit concerned.
Back to Demyx and the leering pirate. "However, not all of our customers are quite so delightful," Demyx narrates, sadly.
"Some of them seem to have had the life and joy sucked straight out of 'em," Xigbar continues, cheerily.
"We call these customers…" prompts Demyx.
"Heartless," both announce and it's back to the black screen with the flames and the word appearing in typical Hot Topic font. This fades back to Demyx and Xigbar.
"The Heartless are the customers that make you want to quit," explains Demyx.
"Or punch a wall," Xigbar interjects.
"Or roll up in a corner and cry while clutching a teddy bear and a box of Twinkies."
Xigbar starts, turns. The camera zooms in. Roxas isn't sure if Axel is an asshole or a comic genius. Xigbar's hand falls onto Demyx's upper arm, tone low, "Demy, baby,…you, okay?"
Demyx's eyes widen, deer-like, and he attempts a smile. "...Fine."
"Demy…" Xigbar growls and yanks him off screen.
"For example," Axel's voice cuts in to keep the ball rolling.
Cut to a tall, blonde woman with a pixie cut looming over the cashier. She's dressed in a lacy black bandeau, distressed, pale denim shorts, and red heels that could stab a man.
Roxas immediately recognizes her from the staff meeting. "Larxene."
"I demand to speak to your manager, you good for nothing spoon," she growls at one employee.
"My Hot Cash doesn't expire until I say it expires!" she hollers at the next.
"I'm going to call your management and see to it that you're fired," she hisses to the third.
"Okay." The final cashier, a tall, lanky blonde man with hair spiked up like Roxas' merely blinks. "So, did you want your receipt or not?
Roxas finds himself cackling again. "How long did they spend making this?"
"They had one afternoon while Saïx was at a conference."
The camera finds Demyx and Xigbar again in a different part of the store. Demyx's grin is all dimples and sunshine, and Xigbar has Demyx's sunglasses tucked into the white tee under his leather jacket.
"But do not fear the Heartless, new staff member!" Demyx cheers. "For every Heartless you face down, Luxord will give you a point in his secret mission report notebook. Whoever has the shittiest month gets a prize!"
"Uh, I think he keeps them on his iPhone, Dem," Xigbar corrects, not rudely. Another bark of laughter from Axel.
"Shh," Demyx whispers in Xigbar's ear, tugging at his collar, super unnecessarily. "That's way lamer."
"Tell them what happens if they win, Lucky," Xigbar says, gesturing to the side, obviously trying to distract Demyx.
It works. Demyx rushes off camera to haul Luxord onto the screen. "Yeah! What can we win, Lucky?"
Luxord seems cool and collected even as he's bodily dragged forward. He stops centerstage, when Demyx releases him, brushing himself off. "Each month, everyone who wants in contributes cash, candy, or assorted other worthy prizes." He stares down the camera with cool blue eyes, as if in personal challenge. "Winner takes it all. Fortune favors the bold."
Roxas is pretty sure Luxord just quoted Mamma Mia.
"It's a surprise!" Demyx gushes, clinging to the biker looking guy's sleeve.
"I need a fucking tranquilizer for you, kid," Xigbar mumbles fondly, mussing Demyx's pompadour mohawk, and earning a playful tackle in response.
"And we cut there," Axel announces. "Nobody needs to see that."
The screen goes black. The fire and rock music start up again and the names of everyone in the video flash on-screen briefly all at once and just as abruptly disappear.
The video blinks off.