To New Beginnings

by Blossomangel85

Danny and Rachel have always been in love with each other, even when they have been with other people. Their daughter Grace is seriously injured in a car wreak and left for dead which only manages to draw the two recently single parents closer together. Will Danny finally man up and admit that he still loves her? Will Rachel ever admit that she recpricates those feelings?

3. Chapter 3

To New Beginnings

Fandom: Hawaii Five-O

Ship: Ranno/Dachel

Characters (also mentioned): Danny Williams, Rachel Hollander, Grace Williams, Charlie Williams, Steve McGarrett, Stan Edwards, Five-O members.

Chapter 3:ʻO ke kumu maoli

(The true reason)

There was something that had been bothering Danny for as long as he had been divorced and that was still not knowing for sure what had been the final nail in the coffin that had ended his marriage. He had heard all of her excuses and the way she spoke about it, saying that it was due to the fact he had a job that was dangerous and that part of it was she couldn't stand to lose him.. That didn't sit right with him because she had lost him the day she finally packed up and left him, why be scared of losing someone because of a job situation when you leave that person anyway?

It didn't make sense, there had to be something more to it, he just didn't know what it was.. That thought had pestered him all these years, was he not good enough? Did he not have enough of a positive outlook on life for her? The day he confessed to Steve that even on the day of his wedding to Rachel when he was about to say I do, he had still be thinking of the day she would serve him with divorce papers.. Perhaps he looked at life so grimly all this time that he didn't see what had bee right in front of him all that time, that he didn't take the time to enjoy his time with Rachel, instead he stressed out about the day she would leave.

Ever since Grace's accident, he had been spending more and more time with Rachel, the four of them as a family, but also just the two of them as well. He had offered to let Rachel stay at his place the night so she didn't have to go home alone to an empty house, and he did wonder more about what had happened with their marriage, how it all ended the way it had.. He needed answers and he really hoped that Rachel was willing to provide some after all this time. Was it because he was so insistent on not going to therapy? Could their marriage have been saved if he had? All these questions and he felt so terrible now for not even trying.

Sighing softly, he finished the dishes, putting them away and tidied up the kitchen. After all his failed relationships, Rachel, Gabby and Melissa, he just did want to settle down and be happy, the kids were more then enough but it still wasn't the same as having a warm body to keep him company of a night, just someone he could share his life and dreams with. It hadn't worked with Gabby because neither had been committed enough to the other to not let other things stand in the way and Melissa, well it didn't work because he knew he could never commit to her either, not in the way she wanted and deserved.

Turning the kitchen light off, he unbuttoned his shirt and pulled it off, leaving just the white t-shirt he usually wore under his collared shirt on and then walked around to the couch where Rachel was waiting, fiddling with her phone while she waited for him to finish up what he had been doing. He was a little nervous if he was honest with himself, but this conversation was long overdue and it was something he needed to get he was trying to figure out the best way to approach this conversation, Rachel shifted on the couch, poured them both a glass of wine, then handed him one of the glasses, looking over at him, "Come on Danny, just get it out already".

Why he was shocked at those words, he would never understand, if there was one person besides Steve that understood him completely, it was Rachel. She knew him almost better then he knew himself, a fact that used to scare him a little, though now in situations like this, it actually comforted him. Not even going to pretend that he had no idea what she was talking about, he took a carefully slow sip of the wine, then set the glass down on the coffee table before turning his body to fully face her, coughing a little to clear his throat, his hands clasped together in front of him. He had a tenancy to express himself through his hands a lot so he decided to keep them together for now.

Looking down in front of him, his voice was low and soft and spoken in a genuine confused manner, not at all accusing, just questioning, "Why did you leave me Rachel?.. All these years and I still don't have all the answers", shifting so he was now looking at her, he could see her mouth begin to move and before she said anything more, he shook his head, "And please Rachel, don't give me the excuse that you were scared to lose me.. If that is all it was, we could have made it work.. So please, tell me.. Where did I go wrong? What did I do to make you leave?" Danny's heart was racing fast inside his chest, all of his nerves in his body on fire, not sure he wanted to know the answer, but at the same time knowing he needed to know and that he deserved to know.

These were the questions he needed answered because if it was something he did or didn't do, then he could have fixed it, or at the very least he could learn from his mistakes and maybe able to move on after all this time. Sighing softly, he looked away for a moment before his head flew back to face her as she reached for his hand, squeezing gently before carefully letting her fingers trace around the palm of his hand, "It wasn't anything you did or didn't do Danny. I know you and my parents never really got along, they always believed I deserved better, my whole family was against you and I marrying.. I never listened to a word they said.."

She sighed softly, looking down herself for a moment, the tears slowly beginning to well in her eyes, "Until the day they told me that you wanting to name our daughter after your old partner was a pretty significant thing.. They told me that it must mean you loved her and had perhaps had an affair with her.. I never wanted to believe them Daniel, I never wanted to believe you would hurt me that way by having an affair and then rubbing it in my nose by naming our daughter after your lover but they wouldn't let up.. They kept telling me all these theories that eventually had even me convinced it was true.. They supported it by saying it was why you never wanted to go to therapy with me.. They had me so convinced in fact that I started withdrawing and pulling away from you, distancing myself till I made the decision to walk away to stop myself from hurting anymore".

Danny took a deep breath in, and exhaled slowly to try to control his own emotions, his heart breaking right then and there, tears falling down his own eyes.. Was he angry, of course he was, but he wasn't angry with Rachel.. Her family had never thought he was good enough for her, he was just a cop after all, didn't come from money, never went to college. All his adult life was spent in the Police Force, working his way up to where he was now but still that was not good enough for the Hollander family, he knew how much they disliked him and only tolerated him for Rachel and Grace's sake, so this wasn't too much of a shock or a surprise to him. It hurt to finally know the truth, that she had left him because of rumors and lies her family started, that their marriage was torn apart because of other people meddling in something that should have been between him and Rachel.

"I'm so sorry Danny, I shouldn't have let them come between us.. I should have talked to you about what was going on.. Instead I just walked away and let our marriage and our love die". The tears were rolling down her eyes freely now and he did something that he never expected to.. He took advice from Steve and instead of pushing her away like he normally would do in this kind of situation, he pulled her in and brought her closer to him, taking the glass from her hand and setting it down on the coffee table, letting her lean into him, her head resting on his shoulder and his arms wrapping around her, sighing softly, his own tears falling slowly down his eyes..

All of this because he wanted to honor his partner partner whom died the same day he found out that Rachel was pregnant.

Pulling her to an arms length, looking into her eyes and pulling the hair back behind her ears, his hands resting on either side of her face on her cheeks and he leaned in, kissing her softly on the lips, letting his lips linger there for a moment or two before pulling away just slightly, not even noticing that somehow she had managed settle herself in his lap as they cuddled. "Rachel, I know that I have aided in cheating.. with you while you were with Stan, but I can assure you now that it never crossed my mind to ever be intimate with anyone other then my wife.. Sure I'll admit, I was close to my partner Grace, but wanting to name our daughter after her, it was all about honoring her memory.. I felt so guilty about leading her into that situation without any kind of back up, It was something I had to do.. It's not got anything to do with me having an affair with her or having feelings for her".

His heart and head were a big mess filled with so much confusion.. He got the answer he had been wanting all this time, but it really made him question so much.. If her family hadn't gotten in her ear and convinced her of all of this, where would they be now? Would they had worked out their issues? Would they be in New Jersey still? Would they have Charlie? It was hard not to wonder about all of these things, but right now he was trying not to focus too much on all of that.. Though it did make so much sense now, the fights, arguments, the times Rachel had threatened to take Grace away from him, why it seemed she hated him so much.. It was all based on a bunch of lies based around him cheating on her.. He would have been pissed off too if he thought Rachel had cheated on him, then wanted to name their kid after the person you thought they were having the affair with.

Looking at him curiously, she wondered why he hadn't blown up yet, usually by now he would be seething, showing red and steam would be practically coming out from his ears, "You're not mad then?", she needed to know how he felt, if he could forgive her for what had happened, and if he could let it go and move on without too many issues.. "Not mad.. Rach, I'm trying my hardest to stay in control of my emotions right now.. I don't want to wake the kids up and stress Grace out right now, but I am madder then I have been about anything", before she could say anything more, he held his hand up, "Let me clarify.. I'm not angry at you Rachel.. I''m mean.. I'm upset that you didn't think to talk to me about it first, but my anger is with your folks and your family, not you".

Breathing out a huge sigh of relief that she didn't even know she was holding onto, she nodded her head, her hands coming together, clasping at her fingers, and her resting her fingers on the bridge of her nose and her mouth, "The only reason I didn't say anything was because I was scared of knowing.. I didn't want to hear you tell me you loved her Danny.. I should have told you, but I was just too scared of the what I already believed the truth to be". Reaching out to her, he took one of her hands in hers and sighed.. "I know Rach.. I know". Looking down at his phone and checking the time, he noticed it was a little after ten pm and he was beat.. He had a lot to think about and so did she from the look on her face..

Standing up and pulling her up with him seeing the surprised expression on her face.. "It's late and we are both tired from being at the hospital none stop since Grace's accident.. why don't we forgo the movie tonight and just head to bed, we can watch it another night". Nodding her head she stifled a yawn, her body betraying how tired she was and smiled softly, wiping he eyes with her free hand. Letting her lead him to his bedroom, she was once more surprised when he handed her an old oversize on her Newark t-shirt she loved wearing, and walked around to grab some comfortable clothes for him to sleep in before setting down into his side of the bed once he changed..

Putting his phone on charge, he had noticed Rachel had not moved at all, "You coming in", he smiled softly as he patted the bed beside her which shook her out of her thoughts, "Are you sure you want me to stay in your bed with you? I can sleep on the couch?".. As much as she wanted to sleep beside him once more, she didn't want him to feel uncomfortable.. "It's fine Rachel.. I think we both need this tonight, Am I angry.. Yes, Do I need to process all of this information, yes of course and that will take some time, but we nearly lost our daughter last week and I don't think either one of us has had time to really deal with the aftermath of emotions because we have been busy taking care of our daughter and our son, so let's make a pact here and now that we deal with what we talked in our own ways and then we move on the best we can".

Rachel nodded, then quickly changed into the shirt, leaving her other clothes on a cane chair that he had in the corner and shuffled over to the other side of the bed, pulling the comforter and sheets down and slipped into the bed, Danny's outstretched arm all the invitation she needed to snuggle right into him, both of them falling asleep quickly. She kept a lot of things from him over the years, a lot of things that he was angry over but this one merely made him angry at her family and sad about their marriage being ruined by lies. To him though, this was home.. He hadn't felt this way in a long time and though he was angry and wanted to just confront his ex in laws right then and there, he hoped that this little bit of truth that she had hidden from from him all these years would finally be what they needed to move on and start over..

Author Notes:

Thanks for all your continued support and love with this story. I am sorry it has taken me a couple of weeks to get a reply done for this one. I hope this makes up for the wait. I was thinking about a comment one of you made about being more then just the fear of losing someone and I agree so I was originally going to re-submit chapter two, but then thought why not just address it in chapter three..

I think this is a realistic reason as to why she may have left, even why she tried to get him into therapy as a way of proving to herself it wasn't true then realizing it possibly was when he was reluctant to do therapy, then starting to distance herself from him more and more.

I also heard that Rachel's mother will be making an appearance on the show in a few episodes time and that she doesn't much like her ex son in law so I thought perhaps because she is a famous published author, she has always looked down on Danny because of where he grew up and the fact he has a blue collar job being a cop but she knew she she would never get Rachel to leave just based on financial reasons so she fabricated this story up to get Rachel to leave.

Shout outs:

Sari:

Thank you, I am glad you are enjoying this story.

Sabine68:

Thank you so much for your input, you actually helped more then you might realize because it made me stop and think about a proper realistic reason why she might have left aside what I had written in chapter 2. I hope you enjoy this chapter, I dedicate it to you for being so helpful with your comment.

SteveMcGarrettLover:

Awe thanks, It is going to happen in this fic, I hope it does happen in the show as well though judging from the last episode, I am starting to think it might based on some comments said by Steve early in the episode.

Navymcroll:

Awe, thank you. I agree there, I do think that you need to put the work into the relationship and when things break down for whatever reason, you don't work as hard at it and that is when people give up. You can clearly see they still love each other despite their arguments and I never like seeing Rachel on the receiving end of the hate because Danny doesn't hate her and though he has digs about her to Steve at times, I think he does that to stop himself from thinking how much he still loves her and misses her.