DISCLAIMER I DO NOT OWN KATEKYO HITMAN REBORN

Natsuki's POV

I looked down at the burnt ends of my clothing. No matter how much I trained I couldn't quite master the dying will flame. Producing it from my hands was easy enough but using it as a weapon was practically impossible. So far I could only release it in large bursts that left me with no energy to move majority of the time. I couldn't why there was a difference between how Xanxus and I could use them. Or even in its nature. His were so violent and destructive by nature while mine were soft and delicate. It wasn't like I could ask him or anyone else about them.

I sighed opening the door to the living space for officers. Mammon was already at one of the tables with a spread sheet of papers. I attempted to quickly leave so that I wouldn't disturb his work. "You reek of sweat."

"Sorry, I just came from training."

"You should go back to your room and shower before coming here. I'm working on Varia's budget and your stench is bothersome."

"Sorry. Again. I was only- No never mind. I'll get out of your way now." Even though I had gotten closer to the members since becoming an officer, I knew that they held a higher status than me.

He sighed shaking his head. "Tell me again how its possible for you to be an officer with that kind of attitude?"

"That's Haunting Shadows, not me. No one knows how I am under that mask." I felt safer behind the plastic cover that I wore on my missions. It protected me from people being able to read me and I didn't have to necessarily talk to them either. I could be left with my thoughts and just carry out the mission to the employer's request.

I was suddenly lifted off the ground at an incredible speed. The only reason I didn't get slammed into the roof was because I had reacted fast enough to grab the top shelf of a bookcase. Mammon released his powers on me to let gravity act again. I flipped myself upwards so that I was standing on top of the bookcase.

"What was that for?!" I screamed at him.

"Your fighting instincts and reflexes are top-notch. It's only your mindset that makes no sense. Useless worrying about people's opinions that only weight down your potential." I jumped down.

"I'm aware. I'm sorry for the trouble." I was a burden to him. Only when I was training or on a mission did I have my head on straight. Any other time the members must have saw me as nothing.

I bowed to him and started to make my way to leave as he wanted in the beginning. I was almost out the door when it opened by itself. Bel stepped in with his usual grin that quickly fell looking at me. "What's wrong with you?"

"It's nothing Bel. I'm just tired from my flame training." I adverted my eyes to him. I could tell that he didn't buy it one bit but had more pressing matters to attend to. He nodded letting me pass by him.

"Boss is back." I paused. "He's calling for the two of us Mammon. Hime, it would be best if you stay in your room since we don't know his mood yet." The two of them left without telling me more.

A few days ago Xanxus and Squalo had left to go to the Vongola headquarters for some important business. During this time, I wasn't allowed to leave on any missions until they got back. It meant that whatever they were going to be talking about had me as the bargaining point that couldn't be risked.

I had to understand where the two of them were coming from. Xanxus was the one person that no one here could talk back to. Whatever he says go. It only made sense for me to be in danger if he was in a bad mood. If my assumptions are true, then I'll would be called later on when I was needed.

So I listened to Bel and went back to my room. There wasn't a lot to do in there besides reviewing my job listings. Since I was a new officer I had received a lot of offers right off the bat. Varia hasn't had a new officer in a while that everyone wanted a chance to test out the new meat. Reading through all my offers I just wanted their meeting with Xanxus to be over with so that I could speak with him myself to lift my mission ban.

In time I heard someone knocking on my door. From outside the door I could already feel the strong presence of mysterious energy off of them that it could only be Mammon. He didn't wait for my permission, coming into my room. I stood up from my desk to greet him. "How was the meeting?"

"Have you ever heard of a man named Verde?" I blinked a few times. Was this Verde person the reason Xanxus went back to the Vongola headquarters?

"He's the Lightning Arcobaleno right? Is there a reason why you're bringing him up?"

He stood there processing some information. "Take a mission for him. He's a scientist and needs someone to help him with his new experiments. I have a full schedule so I want you to take it."

"Now? I still haven't talked to Xanxus-sama yet so I don't even know if I can leave. Not to mention my squadron don't usually do these types. Am I allowed to be alone?"

"Are you rejecting it?" I shook my head.

"No-no I only wanted to clarify-"

"Boss doesn't have a reason to keep you here if he's back and your squadron doesn't have to go if your life isn't on the line. Verde is a crazy man but he'll keep you alive. You'll have to leave immediately."

Mammon never spoke with emotion. Even now as he was practically demanding me to leave for this job. It was strange but though I couldn't hear any emotion I could tell that there was a sense of urgency that came with it that I couldn't shake off. "Is something wrong?"

"Nothing that concerns you." He left the room when I finally saw something that caught my eye. I didn't have time to question it as he closed the door behind him. 'Since when did Mammon wear a ring? And such a weird shape as well. It looked like some split a normal one in half or something.'

"15. 3 meters to the north- west of me and one right above me." I pointed in each direction, further proving the location of the hidden men. As Mammon had told me to do I had taken a job with the Arcobaleno Verde to help with the testing of his new invisibility suits.

"Fascinating Shadows. You may remove your blindfold." I took off my blindfold watching his men crawl down the walls. Visible or not it wouldn't matter if the assassins themselves could not hide their presences. Verde came into the room riding his pet alligator, Kaiman.

"I must say it was quite a shock when Viper declined a job. You, however, have proven to be a worthy substitute. As expected of Varia quality." One of the perks of being a Varia member is that compliments were foreseen. "Your physique and voice are nettlesome for the most part but nothing that would hinder the overall results."

"Excuse me?" Did I hear that wrong? Most people would be too afraid to insult me. Kaiman circled around me so that Verde could examine me.

"Yes, your physique and voice resemble closely of a female. Even with a low tone it still is missing the depth that a typical male would have. It stands out whenever you speak if you listen carefully enough. Not that a feminine appeal is bad but hiding it despite it being obviously is distracting." I guess there's a reason he was called the genius Arcobaleno. He was the first one to ever think I was a girl. Even his invisibility suits were near flawless.

I removed my mask and let my hair free from the braid that hid under a top layer of my hair. "Well I'm so sorry I resemble that of a female."

I said with sarcasm. His face was priceless but quickly readjusted. Women in Varia was unheard of, so him being surprised was expected.

"What is your real name then? If I can ask that is." I held my hand out for him.

"Natsuki. Pleased to meet you." He pushed his glasses back up and shook my hand.

"Viper did say you were a mysterious one. So what did you think about the suits?" He didn't care anymore for the subject of my history. It made him interesting in my books because of how solely dedicated he was to his work.

"Promising but not quite there yet. Your men are unaware of how to hide themselves. Though I can't see them I can tell that there was something off. Not to mention your poor choice in weapons. Guns and those drill claw things are not subtle enough. If your suit was perfected, you could get closer to the target. The best course of action is to attack swiftly. Poison or electrocution would be better suited. Plus, you yourself can't see them. What if they were to revolt? It's not like you could protect yourself. You must be able to cover all aspects when carrying out an assassination attempt. Especially as the handler with more money than lifelines" He rubbed his chin before taking a note. Probably to write down what I said.

"Very true, Natsuki. Now for your feedback. Your bow and arrows. Have you ever considered changing your weapon?" Now that I think about it Squalo did mention that I was better at close combat than long range. Even the 2 guns on my holster were barely used. I looked down to my bow and arrows that have been with me since the beginning. But I was still giving the idea serious consideration.

"Go on."

After 2 weeks of Verde's experiments it was time to return to Varia with word that he would hire me again. By the end of our time together Verde had developed me a new mask and weapon.

My plain old face mask was replaced with a black skull mask with yellow plated eyes. It included a voice manipulator to fully replicate a man's voice. Next was the ear communicator piece that was rewired to match my Varia communicator. It also included night vision, a recorder and an air filter.

Then was my new weapon. A staff that was, at maximum height, reached my shoulder's height. In its shortest form it didn't go much further than the length of my closed fist that I could slip it into a small hoop at the back of my belt. With different amounts of pressure, it could shorten or extend. The best part was the hidden short blade at the end. It took a few tries to fully master the pressure sensors but it felt better than my bow.

This week Varia had gone to Namimori, Japan for the battle to declare the Vongola 10th generation famiglia. I had arrived on the morning of the starting day of the ring battles. From Bel's updates the opponents were nothing but amateurs. The boss was nicknamed No- Good Tsuna from his poor grades and lack of any motor skills. I couldn't believe that he was the only son of the Sawada Iemitsu. The only one that showed any promise was the Storm guardian, Hurricane Bomber, Gokudera Hayato. Yet compared to Bel, he had no shot. None of them did.

At least that's what I thought.

Lussuria's metal kneecap was shattered meaning absolute defeat. Next was Levi's match. Though Levi was the clumsiest member, he did earn his spot in Varia. The only reason he survived was due to a stroke of luck. It resulted in an automatic win in his favor along with the Sky ring for Xanxus. However, it was then that I saw his flame.

Sawada Tsunayoshi's flame was brilliantly lit on his hands and forehead. A sign of resolve to protect his friends. It was purer then any flame I, or Xanxus for that matter, had ever made. It burned a place in my mind. Not to mention that he had full control over them. He went between his two modes easily. I couldn't believe that the boy labeled No-Good Tsuna could produce such a beautiful flame.

Now was Storm match between Bel and Hurricane Bomber. I watched as Bel slipped into his Prince the Ripper persona. Only seeing it once still left a pit in my stomach. It was nerve- wrecking watching the exploding hurricane turbines making their way towards them as they were fighting over the ring. In the end Bel had won but collapsed from exhaustion.

Mammon and I remained by Bel's bedside for the day. We both were quiet for the time, not finding the words to say. Though he won, it came with a big price that risked his life. Things weren't looking good for Varia's side even with this ring. So far we only got our rings by default with the exception.

Bel groaned in pain as he woken up. In the moment I jumped onto him. Holding him tightly I realized his usual smell of blood was stronger this time. "I was so worried! How can you do something so stupid?!"

"Natsuki, you're crushing him." I looked at Bel to see his face scrunched up in pain. Listening to Mammon I pushed myself off of Bel mumbling an apology.

"Hime... Mammon... The ring battle. What happened, again?" I sighed at his question. Whenever Bel turned into Prince the Ripper, he tended to forget all the after effects. It really was amazing and sickening how easily Bel could throw away his humanity for the sake of the battle. It goes to show how strong his will is.

Bel marveled at the ring hanging around his neck. I, on the other hand, found it to be a pest. No, I found Sawada Tsunayoshi and his so called family to be pests. It's because of those stupid brats that we were even here. The reason why Lussuria was shot down and why Bel was so damaged. After tonight we can kill them and return back to Italy. Everything will return to normal. Those kids will understand why people don't mess with Varia.

"Hime?"

I snapped out of my thoughts when Bel gently petted my head. "Yes?"

"Are you okay? You were spacing out. You only do that when you're contemplating." Leave it to Bel to read my mind.

"I'm fine. Just thinking about how we only need one more win before we can start cracking heads. Tonight is the perfect chance for that." A grin broke out on my face as I thought about who was fighting today.

Squalo's battle took two unexpected turns. One was that Squalo had lost to a rookie. Two, he was eaten by a shark. It was absolutely infuriating to only watch him get eaten and not be able to do anything. But rules were rules, no one was allowed to step foot in the ring. I was in no place to intervene.

The score is now 3 to 2; they were slowly catching up. Next match was the battle of Mists. It seemed that both sides had tricks up their sleeves. They didn't know about Mammon's Arcobaleno status while no one knew about the other side's guardian. It seems their trick was better when Mukuro Rokudo shredded Mammon to pieces.

Xanxus was not pleased at Mammon's escape. Usually anyone that failed was suppose to be punished. Xanxus had already given order to Gola Mosca to carry that out once he returned. After seeing what the machine could do I felt unsettled at the idea of that happening to Mammon.

When most of the members turned in for the night I snuck out. I know that I had to be careful on getting on Xanxus's bad side with all these ring battles but I had to check up on Mammon. He had great pride in himself and his skills. He might not be physically injured but mental was just as important.

Using what I knew about him he was probably in a dark, quiet, isolated place where Xanxus wouldn't be able to find him. I narrowed down the suspected places to a cave on the side of Namimori Mountain. Thanks to Verde's night vision installation, going into the cave was pretty easy.

I even didn't try to hide my presence from him. It was probably better that I did it this way so that he didn't run away. "Mammon found."

I sat down taking him into my lap so that he couldn't run away. He didn't fight it as I could feel his energy running low. The battle took a lot more out of him than he planned even with using his pacifier powers. "Remove your mask. I would rather hear your own voice than a programmed one."

I took my mask off putting it right next to me so that I knew exactly where it was in the dark. Without the night vision I saw how there was zero light in the cave. I held Mammon a bit closer for comfort. Not that I was afraid of the dark or anything. Just, it felt better to have him closer if I wasn't wearing my mask.

"How are you doing?" He didn't reply. "You know Xanxus-sama is kind of mad at you for running away, though I don't think I've ever seen him happy."

"I'll wait for him to settle down before I go back. You can leave without me."

"I don't think that's really an option for me. He's been tense since beginning these battles."

"Trust me; it's not the battles he's mad at."

"What do you mean?"

"Nothing." I nodded. Mammon loved his secrets. What Xanxus was planning and why he sent me off to Verde's. These only being the few that he kept.

Then his match. I didn't think Mammon could lose. But even with his pacifier, the other Mist candidate won. Weren't the Arcobaleno meant to be extremely powerful? I saw what Mammon could do so why did some person kept in a prison manage to beat him. He wasn't even the person that entered the gym in the first place.

"What are the Arcobaleno?"

From this I got him to stiffen. I knew that the Arcobalenos were known for being the strongest babies in the world. However, from the conversation Mammon and Reborn had during the battle, I was led to believe that there was more behind the story.

"The story of the Arcobaleno is none of your concern." Mammon hopped out of my lap to sit in front of me. I guess I shouldn't have expected that much.

"I don't like that." My hand quickly covered my mouth. I didn't mean for that to come out. Now I was glad that I couldn't see Mammon. It would have made the situation much worse. "I-I mean- What I wanted to-ummm- You see."

"It's fine. You don't need to explain yourself."

I took a deep breath. "Can I explain myself?"

I felt that I should. I assumed he had good reasons to but I had my own reasons for saying what I did. I needed to tell him how I feel now or I never would.

"Not like I have anything better to do." Which was his way of saying that I could.

"When I was with Verde we talked about the Arcobaleno curse- not anything specific! Only what is widely known and his research on it. I looked into it myself as well. There's not a lot out there. I told you before that your pacifier holds a lot of power. Meeting Verde and the other two of Sawada's side, I confirmed that it wasn't just your power alone. More and more your's and it's are merging together."

"Your point?"

"The reason why you became one, how you joined Varia, your hatred towards it, all of it is a part of who you are now. You always criticize me for speaking so much when I never hear anything about you. At the same time because of your pacifier I can feel so much off of you that I don't know what is right. You're scared that Xanxus-sama is going to kill you but know that you're too valuable. You claimed that you wouldn't have any trouble today but halfway through you started storing energy to escape. And you know me I don't like the idea of not knowing the one answer. So when I'm with you I feel like I'm having the juggle both sides of you. Which one is the real answer?"

I didn't realize until I finished that I was almost shouting. "There isn't one. And you should understand that I don't know everything about you. That's how many relationships worked. Even your flames tell me a lot about you but I can't understand why you're always so desperate for approval. Why you willingly became Haunting Shadows? We murdered your family yet you act like we're your saviours."

"Because all of you have given me a chance to be something more than Vongola Ninth's daughter." After learning about my past the little things the Celeste famiglia did to me all made sense. It made my happy memories feel like a lie. That I was only wanted because of my blood and skills. Not for me.

With Varia it was different. They always yelled at me to speak what I wanted. I got to try things I never thought I would get the chance to do. They were the ones to shine light on my lost self. They were loud with what they wanted that I didn't have to guess as often. They allowed me to become Haunting Shadows under their terms but I was more free with them than I've ever been.

Calming my thoughts, I lit my two palms on fire. I won't deny that I loved the Celeste famiglia. When it came down to it they did raise me. I was kept alive for their reasons but that image of their bodies littering the mansion floor will forever burn my memories. I refuse to let that happen to Varia. That's why I'm going to get stronger. To one day, full of pride, call myself a Varia officer to them.

"You know that a Dying Will flame's size depends on how firm the user's resolve is. I couldn't save the Celeste Famiglia but with Varia... I have a new start."

Even now being able to see him, I couldn't understand his mind. "Mammon, if there's a chance, I want to help you. I'm sorry that this is a selfish wish of mine."

He waited a second until I heard him give a small sigh. "Somehow I don't think you're going to let this go until I tell you the story."

I was shocked that he actually was considering telling me. "On one condition. You don't pity me afterwards. I didn't choose to get this role but I don't need you treating me like I'm a hindrance to everyone."

He doesn't want money? Was there something more to him telling me? "I understand."

Mammon gestured me to turn off my flames before telling me everything. Hearing the whole story, I didn't know what I expected. The whole thing felt like a lie. A tale of how they got cursed to be exact.

Again I was glad that he couldn't see me nor I him. If he did see me, he would have known that I was holding back my tears. I wasn't the only one that had gone through a lot prior to joining Varia. At least now we had each other.

Today was the final ring battle, the Cloud match between Gola Mosca and Hibari Kyoya. I must say that this fight will be the most interesting. Gola Mosca appeared when I was with Verde so I had no knowledge about him. Or it? Meanwhile Hibari Kyoya was head of the Disciplinary Committee at Namichuu. He was able to take down Levi's squad after the Storm match but this wasn't something that was too amazing. The fact that he was trained by Bucking Dino was worrisome. If he wins this round, then it would mean that they would have the majority of the rings.

My worries were proven right when Hibari Kyoya easily ripped off Gola Mosca's arms. Strange enough, Xanxus didn't look troubled though. One thing I knew about him was that he would never leave anything to chance. With this being the tie breaker, he must have had a backup plan.

My father was that backup plan. To lure my father into Gola Mosca as a battery. Having Sawada Tsunayoshi attack him without mercy. Therefore, it being an act of treason. Leaving Xanxus to avenge his/our father. It was a heartless act that was practically showing Sawada as the enemy rather than the other way around.

After Cervello's announcement of making a Sky match, I returned to Lussuria's hospital room. "Ah Nat-chan, how was the Cloud match?"

I quietly started to replace Lussuria's rotten flowers with a new bouquet. Where should I even start? That Vongola Nono was being used as a captive energy source? That Xanxus was willing to kill his own father to achieve his goal? There was also the Sky match tomorrow that would decide the whole Ring match? "You found about out Kyuudaime, didn't you?"

I stopped my movements. "You knew?"

I felt betrayed that they did not tell me something so crucial. Though it only made sense since I was still an underling. Lussuria gestured for me to sit in the chair next to his bed. I left the dead flowers in the vase and sat down. "It was the plan that Boss came up with after you left with Verde. A way to make do with you around."

"Without me? What about me?" This was not adding up. Of course Gola Mosca did appear during the time I was gone but what happen during that time?

"You didn't know? Nat-chan you were supposed to be the original power source. Even though people don't know you exist you are still one of the remaining heirs that your life is above Sawada's. We were just lucky that Verde had given you a job. That machine would have sucked out your flames and kill you." A chill ran down my spine hearing the truth. 'But I didn't get a job, Mammon did. That explains why he denied the job. He was trying to protect me from Xanxus-sama.'

"I need to talk to Xanxus-sama." I ignored Lussuria's shouts at me and return to our hotel.

I slammed open Xanxus's door, waking him up. He grunted in disapproval. "How could you? I know that I am nothing but a pawn in your master plan but..." I balled my fists up. "How could you even think to letting either me or Kuudaime into that machine?! We may not act like it but we are siblings. Did you even care about what happens to me or our father? Did you even care about us at all?"

Xanxus cocked his guns in my direction. I took my staff off my holster, pointing the knife at him. "I guess you really did want to kill us."

After all this time he really did hate me. Bel treated me like a princess and would always be by my side. Lussuria acted like a mother figure who watched me, occasionally giving me advice. Squalo would take me on missions and watch my progress. Even Mammon, the greediest person ever. Even that Mammon had given up a job so that I would have a higher chance of surviving. Yet this heartless bastard could not even give me the time of day.

"If you wanted to kill me so bad then do it yourself. I challenge you to a fight, Xanxus."

(A/N: So this is an actual scene from the series but only in the Drama CD. Khr has a few Drama CDs that are only voices but are 100% cannon. Recently, as in 2 days before I wrote this chapter, I found this scene in a Drama CD where it has Bel before and after the Storm Match, so I decided to include it. Unfortunately, I had only found the original with no subtitles. So with my limited amount of Japanese I was able to translate most of it and included it in my story. Now remember it's not 100% correct but it does have the general meaning.

Here is the CD's breakdown.

Before this scene is similar to a manga only scene of Bel and Mammon before the Storm match.

Bel wakes up

Bel: Why is the prince injured?

Mammon: You finally woke up, Bel?

Bel: Mammon. The ring battle. What happened, again?

Mammon: Honestly that bad personality of yours, it's better if you stop it. For your own needs you threw away your memories. Someday it will be too close, you'll be too slow to realize it.

Bel: I see. He, the prince side, took over. The ring?!

Mammon: It's around your neck. The complete Storm ring.

Bel: I see. I won. As I thought, a prince does not lose.

Mammon: *Sigh* You won, I guess that's enough

Bel: So that means if we get one more ring our side wins

Mammon: Yes, tonight is the Rain match, Squalo is fighting.

Then it's Squalo talking to Xanxus similar to the anime and manga scene.