Here's the latest chapter! Again, it's kind of short, so sorry about that! But I hope to have another chapter posted soon. Stay tuned! Please favorite, follow, and review!

Thanks!
~Isabelle

I wanna be strong

I want the world to find out

That you're dreamin' on me

Me and my "beauty"

Me and my "beauty"

~The Dark I Know Well, Spring Awakening

Chapter Seventeen: The Dark I Know Well, Part 2

Elsa thought she had known pain—everything with Weselton, leaving her family, even spraining her ankle when she was twelve. But none of that compared to this feeling overtaking her. She could barely get out of bed; she didn't eat, barely drank. Something was wrong, but she couldn't pinpoint it. So she just stayed in bed and willed the tears to stay at bay.

Marshall had taken to working from home, partly at Elsa's insistence. She wasn't going anywhere, not even to skating practice which was driving Elinor nuts. But Elsa couldn't force herself to move, couldn't drag her body the few simple steps to the bathroom unless it was absolutely necessary. The idea of putting on skates and moving for hours made her want to throw up and cry at the same time.

"Maybe you should see someone Elsa," Marshall had gently suggested this morning, doing his usual check-ins. (It's not like he was going to leave her completely unguarded.)

Elsa couldn't form words, so she just shook her head. She was sick of therapists and psychiatrists and hypnotists, even if it was just that one disastrous time. They didn't help. They never helped. How could they help with this?

And to be honest, Elsa wasn't sure that she wanted to be helped. In a way, this felt like karma. Karma for being a bad sister, a bad daughter, a bad friend. She should've been stronger, fought harder—but fought harder against who? Weselton? Her parents? Everyone?

Why had she never been angry at the world? Why had she never raged and screamed and let it all out? Why did she take everything they handed to her, accepted it without question? Elsa had long ago made her peace with everything that happened with Weselton, but had she made her peace with her parents?

Elsa thought back to phone calls to them, begging to come home.

"It's cold," she remembered saying once, "and I miss you and Anna. Please, Papa, Mama, can I come home?"

"It's best if you stay at Arendelle, Elsa." Her father's voice was apologetic but firm. No amount of asking had swayed them.

She had spent weeks crying herself to sleep in that small dorm room on the opposite side of the world, aching for her family. The ache intensified when she couldn't curl up beside Anna's small, warm body and smell her baby smell, something she often did when things with Weselton got too bad. Anna was always there for her, even if she didn't realize it.

Elsa rolled over in bed and sighed, curled up into a ball. The ache was there again, but much worse this time. Why was it worse? She was home! Nothing bad had happened, so far. What was wrong with her? Why was she incapable of being happy?

Elsa twisted and turned in her sheets for what felt like hours. Finally, there was a knock on the door.

"Come in," she said, her voice soft and hoarse. Maybe she should drink some water. Elsa looked up as the door opened and her parents walked in, concern written on their faces.

"Elsa, darling, what's going on?" Iduna asked. "It's been days, and you haven't left your room." She sat down on the bed, the mattress dipping under her weight. Agnarr stood behind his wife, hand on her shoulder.

"I don't know," Elsa answered honestly. Tears welled in her eyes, hot and fast and unbidden.

"Darling." Iduna reached for her eldest daughter, but Elsa flinched away.

"Please…" Elsa whispered. "Don't touch me." Iduna's arms fell to her sides. Agnarr tightened his hand on her shoulder in comfort.

"Elsa, what's brought all of this on?" he asked. Elsa stared at him, then moved to sit up.

"Seriously?" she demanded.

"Seriously what?"

"You know what's happened!"

"Elsa, do not yell at your father!" Iduna scolded. Elsa glared at her parents.

"Now you want to tell me what to do?" she yelled.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Agnarr asked.

"You shipped me off to some boarding school for ten years!" Elsa exploded. It was all too much, begging to come out. For once, she was going to let it. "You barely called or Skyped or anything! I barely saw you; I barely saw Anna! You sent me away from my family for half of my life! And because of what? Because I was molested? How would that help? How would that help anything at all?"

Her parents stared at her, shocked.

"And now, you just expect me to act like everything is alright. I'm not allowed to breathe a word to Anna about it. You treat this stalker like an inconvenience when it could cost me my life. You treat me like a… like a bomb or something! Like I'm going to go off and kill everything that you actually love."

"Elsa, we love you!" Iduna said. Elsa drew in a ragged breath, fought down a bitter laugh.

"You don't fucking act like it," she snapped. She threw off the covers of her bed and got to her feet. She ignored her parents' protests as she looked for shoes, shoving her feet into them. She stormed out of her room and down the stairs, their voices following her all the while. She didn't stop until she was out of the house, the front door slamming behind her.

Elsa didn't know how long she was gone for. She had forgotten to grab her phone when she'd left the house, so time meant nothing to her. She just watched the sun go down in the sky and returned home once it got too dark to see in more than five feet in front of her.

Elsa walked through the entrance, careful to shut the door quietly behind her. Apparently, it didn't matter.

"Elsa?" Her father's voice came from the study. She sighed and headed that way, knowing that it was best to get this over with. She pushed open the heavy door to see her father at his desk, her mother reading in a chair near his.

"Elsa, thank God!" Iduna cried, setting her book aside and standing up. She moved to embrace her daughter, but once more, Elsa flinched away.

"Where were you?" Agnarr's voice was low and dangerous.

"Walking," Elsa answered.

"Really?" Agnarr looked at her. "That's all you have to say for yourself?"

"I said everything I needed to earlier. It's not my fault you didn't listen," Elsa said.

"Elsa!" Agnarr thundered.

"I don't know what you want from me!"

"I want you to act like the daughter I know you are!"

"What daughter? The one you sent away? The good girl that you knew? I'm not that girl anymore, Father!"

"We sent you away for your own good! You know this!"

"Enough!" Elsa snapped. "I'm sick of going in circles. You sent me away, and I can't change that. But we can change something now."

"What do you want to change?" Iduna asked, stepping forward between her husband and her daughter.

"Explain things to Anna," Elsa said.

"No." Agnarr shut the idea down immediately.

"She deserves to know the truth," Elsa argued.

"Anna doesn't need to know the truth. She doesn't need that on her mind. What good will it do?" Iduna asked.

"Because she wants to know the truth. I'm tired of hiding who I am from her," Elsa said.

"You're not hiding anything," Agnarr said tiredly.

"I'm hiding everything! What is the harm in telling her?"

"What is the harm in keeping it from her?"

"She wants to know the truth!"

"She doesn't need to know the truth!" Agnarr said.

"Agnarr," Iduna said. "Maybe we should consider it. You saw how upset Anna was the other day."

"It's for the best," Agnarr said, the heat leaving his voice. "We're done here."

"Father—" Elsa began.

"We're done here." Agnarr's voice left no room for argument. Tired and defeated, Elsa left.

The next morning, Elsa found herself in the kitchen, fixing herself a cup of tea. It was early, so early that the sun had yet to rise. It reminded her of the times before, when she and Anna were children. Anna would come into her room and wake her up, jumping on her elder sister until Elsa would get up.

"The sky's awake, so I'm awake," Elsa whispered to herself, "so we have to play."

"Oh my God." Anna laughed. Elsa whipped around to see her standing in the doorway, arms wrapped tightly around herself. "I forgot about that. God, I must have been so annoying."

"You weren't annoying. You were cute," Elsa said, gripping her mug of tea between her hands. Anna laughed again, quietly, as she stepped further into the kitchen.

"Can't sleep?" Anna asked.

"No." Elsa took a sip from her drink. "You?"

"Not really, no," Anna said. The two sisters stood in silence for a few moments.

"Would you like some tea?" Elsa asked.

"Actually, I think I'll make some hot chocolate, but thanks," Anna said, moving towards the cabinets.

Elsa groaned. "God, I should have thought of that. Now I just have tea."

Anna giggled again, grabbing the hot cocoa mix. "Looks like I'm just the smarter sister."

Elsa said nothing, just smiled and drank her tea as Anna bustled around the kitchen. The sky outside was beginning to lighten, the rays of early morning sunshine filtering in through the windows. Elsa thought about the discussion she'd had with her parents, the past few days of torture and internal strife. Wouldn't it be wonderful to share with her sister? Isn't that what sisters were for, after all?

"Anna," Elsa said. Anna stopped and looked over her shoulder, confused at the tone of her elder sister's voice.

"Yes?"

"I need to tell you something," Elsa said, setting her mug down. "About the picture you found."