It took several months for Katniss to come to understand why Peeta did what he did. She simultaneously loved and hated him for it. Whenever she missed him she would sit in the Bakery. Maybe because she could afford it Mrs. Mellark never tried to get her to leave, or maybe it was good for business. Regardless it wasn't until she accepted Peeta's sacrifice could she bring herself to hunt again. Since last year was Gale's last games he worked in the mines now but they would still hunt on the weekends. During the act Gale was painted to be her cousin so it didn't matter how much time he spent at her house in the Victor's Village. Haymitch always left when he came around muttering something about loyalty. Katniss was happy that Gale still came to visit but never let him spend the night, she didn't want anyone to know that she had vivid nightmares that woke her up screaming. Of course Prim and her mom knew but that was how it was going to be if they lived with her. The night she woke up she found herself reaching for someone, not Gale though, not even Prim but someone who only lived in her dreams. The worse was when she dreamed that Peeta didn't take the pouch from her and that they both survived. When she woke up alone her heart broke all over again. That dream also confused her heart even more, if they both survived then they wouldn't be dating or anything. Or would the trials and events of the games bring them close? The hardest thing was the arrival of the Victory Tour, Haymitch and the others told her it was only once and no matter how hard it was there would be former victors who would help her. Starting with District Eleven she gave a speech on how her alliance with Rue saved her live more than once and she was proud to call her ally. She even spoke on how debts were in twelve and that Thresh understood that as well and even though she was an ally the debt for protecting Rue was completed when he let her go during the feast. There was the salute from twelve but no other words from those she spoke to and then they moved on.
Honestly the other districts were scary but easy as aside from the Careers she didn't really kill anyone else. District one was the hardest as pictures of Glimmer and Marvel looked down at her. There was a huge building that Haymitch had pointed out, where all the Careers trained. Not really caring about those she killed she did reflect on Peeta joining the Careers but saving her from Cato by fighting him while she escaped. Those thoughts plagued her through the Capitol parties but like Finnick, Haymitch and Johanna said it was finally over and she could go back home.
When it was time for the Quell to be announced she had Haymitch and her family over, including Gale and his family. Forcing Haymitch to stay they watched with baited breath as Snow spoke about Blaze and Haymitch's victories. Katniss almost let him leave as she could feel the tension from Haymitch, not only would he be a mentor for someone in the games but he had to relieve his own games. For her first year as Mentor Katniss wasn't going to have to watch someone she knew die as it was announced that all the tributes would come from the so-called career districts. Six from each district, boys and girls and Katniss didn't know how to react to it. Haymitch told her that they would have to still mentor someone but at least this meant that they were free to remain detached. Having no love for the careers did make it easier however she would still be sending someone to their death.
Unbeknownst to Katniss the rebels were still planning on trying again, however looking for someone among this years tributes to be a symbol wouldn't hold water as even if their were those in the upper districts wanted a rebellion they didn't have enough support for that. When it came time for the drawings Haymitch and Katniss were already on their way to the Capitol. They would meet the two tributes there then train them up until the games began. Luckily for Katniss they were able to stop in District Seven and pick up Johanna and Blight, their Districts mentors as well. Finnick would be busy with the six that were picked from his district though. Sitting on the train with Effie and the others Katniss watched as the careers from one were picked first. For the girls there was Topaz, Lace and Taff, all looked strong and eager for a fight. Then it was the boy's turn, first was a handsome eighteen year old named Atlas and even Johanna had to admit how attractive the boy looked. Then there was Adonis and finally Azura was called onto the stage. The crowd parted as the young man with brilliant blue eyes stepped out of the group and onto the stage. Everyone in the train car gasped and then fell silent as Katniss fell to her knees pulling himself as close to the screen as possible almost pushing through it as if to touch the boy on the other side. With his blonde hair and beautiful blue eyes there was no mistaking who Azura was, he looked stockier like he had eaten well this past year and trained like any of the other Careers.
"How?" Katniss whispered running her fingers down the screen. "How can that be him, we buried him last year?" she asked no one in particular.
"They do look similar but this is a career from district one, there's no way it's him," Johanna replied as Azura took his place next to the other boys. Katniss studied his face and shook her head.
"I can tell it's him. Haymitch," she said looking at her mentor who was in a stupor and not from his normal drinks. "How is Peeta still alive? We saw him die in the arena. I saw him die when he ate those berries. His body is in a box six feet deep in our memorial graveyard so tell me that I'm not seeing this. Tell me that it's not him." She was practically begging him now but all he could was shake his head.
"Johanna if you end up mentoring him tell us what you think, is that really him." Then to Katniss, "We can only wait and see if this really is him or if it's someone else." Katniss couldn't hold it in anymore and started to cry.
Later that evening Haymitch was on a secure line asking if that really was Peeta but his contact didn't know. The contact did give him the bad news that Azura and Lace would be their tributes this year and Haymitch had to think it was a way to further wash out the girl on fire. After this Katniss would never be able to become the symbol for the rebellion and he figured that was exactly what Snow wanted. Hanging up he picked up and hurled a chair across the room before sinking into his own depression as well. Since they couldn't meet their tributes on the train all mentors would be granted a day to get to know their tributes. That was why Effie, Haymitch and Katniss entered the dinning hall in the training building to discover Azura and Lace eating dinner. When they arrived both young tributes looked up then back down at their plates. Once the others got their food they sat in silence, Katniss staring at Azura to see if he really was her boy with the bread. The silence was broken however by a fork slamming into the table and she focused on those intense eyes of his.
"What the fuck is your problem?" he shouted at Katniss, "Ever since I entered the training tower you've been gawking at me like a retarded pup that needs to be put down." Katniss' eyes went cold as she started to spit some line back at him about respect when he punched the table again. "No I don't care. I know I look like your stupid dead boyfriend who killed himself to let someone like you survive but I'm not him. I'm from District One, born and raised there. I have no idea who you are aside from what the recaps of the games last year told us. Scored an Eleven for that bow and arrow trick of yours and the good news is you're not my mentor but I don't think I can stand the though of you staring at me the entire time I'm here." Standing he threw his napkin on the table because unlike these savages he had manners taught to him by his mother. "Lace I hope Ms. Everdeen here stops acting like a dolt around me enough to give you sound advice and if not let me know and I'll mentor you myself." With that he stormed off to his room leaving the victors from twelve stunned as Lace snorted into her dinner.
The glare that was supposed to be at Azura turned to Lace.
"What's so funny?" she demanded as Lace shrugged.
"I grew up with him you know, Azura has been in Career school since I have been there. Plenty of us have noticed the similarities between him and your Peeta and teased him about it. Star cross lovers and all. We were also told that mentors looked after their tributes however it seems like you've already given up on him. Which means that you'll probably give up on me to spite him." Finishing her food she stood up as well, "Might as well find him and let him know you two are worthless, just like your district."
Once she was gone Katniss choked back a sob, Peeta would never speak to her like that. No amount of brainwashing would turn him against her like that and it had only been a year. Unless it really wasn't him. Maybe his parents could tell her but they were back home and wouldn't think to enter her house without her there. Not even Gale could convince them. Looking at Haymitch and Effie her eyes begged for help.
"He looked like Peeta alright but the way he spoke to you. It wasn't even hatred, it was indifference. If Snow somehow saved his life there's no way he could have erased the love Peeta felt for you in a year." Haymitch said as Katniss shook her head, this was destroying her heart all over again and she didn't know why. Haymitch though knew, even if it wasn't Peeta Katniss would have to watch someone who looked just like her friend die all over again. This would destroy her, make her useless to the rebel cause and even though he saved her from her games, she would have been better off dead.